₦airaland Forum

jashar:
Leave both.

Focus on building your career or brand. You're young. Or are you ready for marriage now?

My spidey sense tells me you attached to the 2nd guy cuz of material things.

bdchange:
Hmmmm I have read every piece of advise given to you since 2015 till date. It took me 3 days to do that. This is 4 years after and you just said you did not end up with any of them. Please kindly share with us your experience with both and the decision you took then. If you can answer the questions @smellinganus asked.. Fine, if not well just open up and let us know the lesson learnt from it. This is not about blaming you for whatever decision you took but getting to know what eventually happened. Even if you lost your virginity then, it is still a lesson. Pls share with us. You moved on and I believe you are doing great.

zaralady:
Hhhmmmmmm...dis one is strong!...my dear my good advice is to stick to ur bf, reason because a guy who is comfortable dating u while u re a relatnship ll someday cheat on u while u datin him,secondly, he is selfish, for him to ask u to dump ur bf for him...gal Dats not a good person to me...my dear u got urself into dis mess....wen I was datin my bf I got a crush on an extremely lovin guy who wouldn't mind datin me while am datin my bf, but I knew wat I wanted...am not a cheat and I cnt leave my bf for someone else...because u love ur bf doesn't mean u wnt love odas....u jst hav to control ur emotionals...don't cheat in a relatnship if u cnt stay, jst leave!...u had better dump d oda guy and stick to ur bf else u ll end up loosin both, I was in dis shoe before and wat I did was dump the distractin guy and focus on my bf tho we re no more but I didn't regret my actions...y not confess to ur bf abt wat has been going on and as him to forgive u, @least dat is a test of love....u don't need to follow ur head without ur heart or heart without ur head all u hav to do is do the right tin....do the right tin gal and it includes not cheatin on ur bf..i cn tell u since Ave been in relatnship I hav neva cheated on my bf before...not even once, be prouud to b among the decent gals

jashar:
Leave both.

Focus on building your career or brand. You're young. Or are you ready for marriage now?

My spidey sense tells me you attached to the 2nd guy cuz of material things.

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

falconey:
I think you should follow summarize!!!!

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

NNAMDIII:
so how did it play out? Did he marry you? The bf

acidtalk:
Its been long I made a comment here. I will do so because even though you are young, you really sound mature and humble.

Now this is my 20 shillings;

* I totally understand your feelings for your boyfriend, but truth be told, the feelings appears to be so strong because he is the first you ever given a yes to his proposal.

* Your boyfriend is still too young to get so committed to. For crying out loud he is just 23 and just starting life. Aside the issue of settling down which I doubt he won't be ready for in the next 5years, before he can be termed a REAL MAN WITH EXPERIENCE he will need almost 7years or more of "hard knock life", rejection, betrayals, boss/employee politics, businessman/client relationship, family gimmicks and lots more. Being a man isn't all about graduating from school, getting a job, buying a car, living in your own apartment and sexual experiences. Maturity comes with age and time. I still believe your boyfriend hasn't attained that stage.

* Before you can start comparing your boyfriend with this other guy, you need to spend more time with your boyfriend as you do to the other guy. Long distance relationships are always the SWEETEST. But a NIGHTMARE when both parties see themselves regularly. What am I trying to say? You still really don't know your boyfriend as much as you think you do.

* NEVER EVER vouch for anyone, not even your own mother. Saying your boyfriend will never leave you is a bloody lie. You are inexperience, naive and too deep "inlove" to think any man/woman can not dump you at anytime without any explanation.

* This other guy might not love you more but he is likely to be more serious and committed to the relationship due to his age and maturity. And bearing in mind you are young, a graduate and MOST OF ALL a virgin, any right thinking guy will want to grab you fast and marry you while he copes with your immaturity rather than settling for most of the "breathing PUBLIC PITS" we have walking all over the nation right now.

Chi59:
So, 4 years later, how did it go? Which did you dump? Or were you dumped by both?

NNAMDIII:
so how did it play out? Did he marry you? The bf

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

zaralady:
Hhhmmmmmm...dis one is strong!...my dear my good advice is to stick to ur bf, reason because a guy who is comfortable dating u while u re a relatnship ll someday cheat on u while u datin him,secondly, he is selfish, for him to ask u to dump ur bf for him...gal Dats not a good person to me...my dear u got urself into dis mess....wen I was datin my bf I got a crush on an extremely lovin guy who wouldn't mind datin me while am datin my bf, but I knew wat I wanted...am not a cheat and I cnt leave my bf for someone else...because u love ur bf doesn't mean u wnt love odas....u jst hav to control ur emotionals...don't cheat in a relatnship if u cnt stay, jst leave!...u had better dump d oda guy and stick to ur bf else u ll end up loosin both, I was in dis shoe before and wat I did was dump the distractin guy and focus on my bf tho we re no more but I didn't regret my actions...y not confess to ur bf abt wat has been going on and as him to forgive u, @least dat is a test of love....u don't need to follow ur head without ur heart or heart without ur head all u hav to do is do the right tin....do the right tin gal and it includes not cheatin on ur bf..i cn tell u since Ave been in relatnship I hav neva cheated on my bf before...not even once, be prouud to b among the decent gals

naijaboiy:

if you think you Love two people at once,,choose the second.

Because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have a second option

Confused set of species

Beverlyjean:
In the beginning , he said I can be with my bf but it seems like he started changing words when my bf missed those dates while he was available but even with that I might wanna be with the one I love

Collins0609:
u b id01t . u dated u bf and he left u and u still want d gal to pass through it. the OP na f00l. I can never b too nice to a gal.he gets u everything and shower u wit attention and u are not satisfied. what have u contributed to d guys life. d guy did all dat for u and u have done nothing for him.u tink making money is easy or do u tink u are beautiful, go and visit ashawo .do u tink u have better qualities. at ur age u are still seeking advise. d guy in abroad will dump u and d oda guy will marry a better gal and u will ruse ur chances. Ewu Gambia. I know you still allow oda guys access to ur body. virgin ke. there are many good gals dat are no virgin.ur type will cheat on dia husband. u don't deserve d oda guy.leave him now so he can find a better love. d guy is blind cos u are a virgin. forgetting dat ashawo was once a virgin

You can't have it all.. stop double-dating, pick one and stick to your choice

Beverlyjean:
In the beginning , he said I can be with my bf but it seems like he started changing words when my bf missed those dates while he was available but even with that I might wanna be with the one I love

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

Beverlyjean:
Good day nairalanders , am new on this forum and I actually registered here so that I can get a credible and mature solution to my lingering emotional and relationship problem.

It goes like this; I have a bf that I have been dating for a year now and he is a very wonderful Person, he is my first love and I really love him so much because he gives me a different kind of feeling that I have never felt before , but my dilemma is that I met another guy a month after I accepted to date my bf , we were normal friends for the first one month though I never told him I had a bf until he surprisingly made his intentions known to me . This other guy has been an angel in my life and we started hanging out frequently due to my bf not being around because he traveled out of the country , this other guy has been the most loving and caring guy that I have ever met, he is always there for me and showers me with so much care love and time . He then introduced me to my introduced me to his family ( his mum and dad inclusive) and they loved me at an instant and started welcoming me and calling me their daughter . Now this other guy is 30 while I turned 21 in December and my guy is 23 . This other guy has a great job and ready to settle but his not rushing me saying that he will wait till I am ready . The problem is that I don't have the type of love he wants me to have for him , the thing is that I love my bf so much and I am not ready to let him go . My bf missed my graduation , my birthday and Val's because he had some pressing issues though he sent me my gifts through mail but the other guy was there for me , came for my grad at gwagwalada, took me to a lovely restaurant on my bday and surprised me with a lovely gift and also spent time with me on Val's day and it was so lovely. My bf is around but I see him only 3 times a month and I don't complain but this other guy sees me like 4 times a week .

I have been in a romantic relationship with the new guy although we have done something's apart from direct sex because I am a virgin . This other guy has sacrificed a lot for me but I wanna let him go because he really want me to leave my bf and stay permanently with him , but I love my bf so much and my feeling for him is not strong . He said the reason why I don't love him is because my heart is somewhere else and the moment I leave my bf , I will start loving him as long as I concentrate solely with him.

He also said that even if I leave him and my bf should later find out what I did with him , that my bf will dump me , if not now but later and I will loose the opportunity of everlasting happiness with him ( the other guy)

I care a lot about the other guy and I have feelings for him but I love my bf a lot , even though he loves me more that my bf does.

The other guy also said my bf is still young and might disappoint me in the future . I believe my bf will not because I can guarantee that he is not cheating on me and will not .

The following are the questions that keep on giving me sleepless nights :

1. Will my bf dump me if he eventually finds out bout what I did with the other guy.
2 . Will my bf or me fall out of love as we grow due to the age
3. Am I sure that he is not cheating on me or later leave me for someone else
4. Should I loose my virginity to him to prove my love
5. Will I find another lovin guy like the other guy later in life if my guy leaves me
6 . Will I leave to regret leaving the other guy
7 . Should I follow my heart or head because my heart says my bf but my head says the other guy
8. Will I fall inlove with the other guy if I stop seeing my bf?

Please help me with very mature answers because this will play a vital role in my life in the future .

Ladies that have experienced this come forth and guys that understand the way guys reason should help out pleaseeeee , because am still a novice when it comes to relationship issues. Thank you

zaralady:
@ 7, she cnt use one without the other it's like a car without an engine, u cnt drive

My question wat gives uu the confident dat dis guy is a better person for her...a guy who advice her to dump her bf for him? which decent pesin does dat, and who says ditance relatnship doesn't work??...