₦airaland Forum

Jgoldie:
You wrote all this epistle ontop woman matter.....dude get a life,a job and make money.....love is so over rated.....matters of the heart happens when we don't expect it...shalom

SingleGuy9999:
Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help

ChiefGuru24:
There's a book i read. The book is 10k. Get it. It's worth every penny. I didnt have a gf till i left uni then i bought this book at the time. I had 4 gfs in 5 months. Your own better. I was shy as fûck sef and i even struggled to talk to my female cousins but this book changed everything for me(with a little practice of cuz) there are other books but this one is the easiest and most practical. It breaks it down for you to easy understandable steps. Covers various topics like
why you're in the friendzone?

Why asking a girl out is bad idea

Never get rejected again without lowering your standards.

It also has a unique topic i havent seen in any book before "How to get her to make the first move"

SingleGuy9999:
that's the exact reason I don't wanna give up yet...I need the experience

SingleGuy9999:
Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help

uchechefaith:
To be sincere at 22yrs u don't need a girlfriend, focus on your career, dreams, visions, u are not even ready for marriage not even in the next five years I wonder why u are so concerned about a girlfriend .

Kingsuave:
This life funny sha... Some Girls i do asked out don't usually give me positive feedback, same girls I'll invite over to my crib then after bleeping they will be the ones chasing. When i got admitted into the university there was this girl in my department that invited me over to her lodge and she profess her love to me and then asked me to bleep her as per sharp guy na i no dull, Same thing happened btw me and one final year girl. Now am currently in 300l second semester I've bleeped countless girls already that i don't even ask out.

My own Method is i don't ask Em out anymore just try to get close to them,Crack some jokes,Give them a call to ask how dia doing then invite them over and try to get intimate then from there everything will just fall into place.

Girls do tell me that am Cute and they love my sideburns too guess that gives me an added advantage... But I BROKE die!!

Olawrites:
Na woman matter u carry for head like this..i dey run from em sef they're much on my neck.. Make u try hardened up bro no girl is worth it.

Trust me girls matter isn't all about money

A yahoo friend of mine bought iphone worth 250k,freezer and other stuff to 1million, yet bae dumped him for a poor dude.. Lol

bigpriik:
Mr op, majority of guys here are just like you.even me myself was once like you until I decided to improve myself by learning new things .people who will give you advice here are mostly guys who are inexperienced with women and believe money is all women want ,money will get you women sure but you will later spot its fake love because they will frustrated you with outrageous financial demands ,women are like wildfire its either learn how to control them or they will consume you don't worry send me you WhatsApp number lets chat.

waywardpikin:
Lol my nigga. Why I like your thread is because of the honesty with which you communicated your pain. We have all been there, even guys that are more capable than James Bond also get rejected, whether they admit it or not.

From what you wrote, everything checks out and I think you're on the right path. But you're making one crucial mistake that is ruining your game and making a waste of all your effort. I don't even work as hard as you to get ladies.

Your mistake - STOP ASKING WOMEN OUT!

Yeah I put it in caps in hope it'll sink in. You say you hold them around the waist and stuff, that is very good. Your next move is to try and kiss her. Focus on being a flirt, go heavy on the jokes, but sometimes switch and let them see a mean side of you you really don't want them to see.

Be like a light switch, on and off, on and off, hot and cold.

I tell you bro, you will just find yourself in several relationships because the women have already started dating you in their minds. Na after the sex she go dey ask you, "What are we?"

Then you can smile and answer her in Michael Jackson's voice that, "We are the woooooorld, we are the childrennnnnnnn."

Also I think you're taking this dating thing a little too seriously which could be a turn off for some women. Have fun, bro. Have lots of fun. You're still young and the world is your oyster.

P.S. Ideally, I'd advise you to stay off women altogether and focus on building yourself but you need the experience. Men without any experience in Womanology get seriously burned sooner or later so go hard, learn your lessons and grow.
Guy u b baba 4 dis Matta khai

Xoxo.

waywardpikin:
Lol my nigga. Why I like your thread is because of the honesty with which you communicated your pain. We have all been there, even guys that are more capable than James Bond also get rejected, whether they admit it or not.

From what you wrote, everything checks out and I think you're on the right path. But you're making one crucial mistake that is ruining your game and making a waste of all your effort. I don't even work as hard as you to get ladies.

Your mistake - STOP ASKING WOMEN OUT!

Yeah I put it in caps in hope it'll sink in. You say you hold them around the waist and stuff, that is very good. Your next move is to try and kiss her. Focus on being a flirt, go heavy on the jokes, but sometimes switch and let them see a mean side of you you really don't want them to see.

Be like a light switch, on and off, on and off, hot and cold.

I tell you bro, you will just find yourself in several relationships because the women have already started dating you in their minds. Na after the sex she go dey ask you, "What are we?"

Then you can smile and answer her in Michael Jackson's voice that, "We are the woooooorld, we are the childrennnnnnnn."

Also I think you're taking this dating thing a little too seriously which could be a turn off for some women. Have fun, bro. Have lots of fun. You're still young and the world is your oyster.

P.S. Ideally, I'd advise you to stay off women altogether and focus on building yourself but you need the experience. Men without any experience in Womanology get seriously burned sooner or later so go hard, learn your lessons and grow.
Guy u b baba 4 dis Matta khai
Guy u b baba for this Matta khai
Xoxo.

Jgoldie:
You wrote all this epistle ontop woman matter.....dude get a life,a job and make money.....love is so over rated.....matters of the heart happens when we don't expect it...shalom

sharpwriter:
Lol... Really? Tell me more

LordAdam16:
I doubt there's more to tell. It's just karma.

The "yahoo" boy no fit swear say e never kpansh person (or "stolen" someone else's) girl. Bae would probably frustrate the "poor dude" soon enough or even start cheating on that dude with the "yahoo" boy because of hypergamy (ladies aren't wired to downgrade).

But what do I care. It's all vanity and overrated.

-Lord

sssoulw:
have you tried vaseline

bigpriik:
09082951462

distributeinc:
Since you are 22years old, you either start lying to them, or upgrade your status, it's not you, it's about the type of society we are in.

Jackossky:
Dear op, I get where you are coming from. You are doing pretty well for yourself, even at that age. I believe you heard that if a guy is intelligent, rich and good looking, girls will troop over him and you capitalized on that.


Hehehe, about the rejection, it's all part of our life story that we wouldn't want to share with anyone however, what I think you need to do is that stop playing around.

I won't say girls like this and that because ladies heart is dynamic. When going for a girl, the moment she start vibing like evil spirit, just hold your peace. Use the broom tactics. The value of a broom is known when it's absent in a house
Don't be too available, dey your dey, read books and enjoy yourself while alone.

You can even use the two weeks dating plan. How? After having her number, call her three days after, tell her you forgot to call and was very sorry. Call her the coming night, tell her how beautiful she was to have attracted you, please, don't ask if she has a bf... That's a no no

Then, call her consistently for 9 days, be the first to call in the morning, make it a date to call maybe at 8pm every night. Do this consistently for 9 days, bro, you are already having a semi gf, she would be the one to be telling herself that she doesn't have a bf.
While calling her, make it a bit long but don't talk about your 'wanting' for her, imply it but don't be straightforward about if. By the end of the 2nd week, my brother, na to samankwe remain oo.
Invite her, take her out, she would be ecstatic about it, then, kiss her. Not a long one, she probably wouldn't say anything as she would be readjusting her opinion about you, let her go, don't talk about the kiss. On the 14th day, invite her again, make mention of the kiss and tell her you how attractive she was that you couldn't resist her. If she honours the invitation, brotherly, you've gotten yourself a brand new gf.



Apart from this two weeks tactics and the hardwork involved, love happens in a click. You just get to find out that you like her, get close to her and you would be surprised that she likes you back. Quid pro quo, take your time before asking a girl out to be your gf, the moment you do this, they start taking you for trips. That is where your money start dwindling and your confidence get tested. Adios

larryking540:
u really mature sha,
if na some other females u go see insult throwback

idonhammer:
You just said my mind, only you make sense here.

blackpanthar:
Brother, what you have gone through is NORMAL....

Sex is not an AWARD... so dont see it as a stigma
DATING is not a sign of maturity...

Your priorities seem MISPLACED.
At your age, no Nigerian girl may love you for WHO YOU ARE even though they LIKE your personality.

GO AND MAKE MONEY, it makes you more DATING-MATERIAL.... Ladies are expensive, yes, In Nigeria, DATING RELATIONSHIPS are like adoption, the girl will ask you for almost EVERYTHING.... and if you can not provide, you will know the real meaning of depression.

The next thing is.... LADIES WILL SAY YES TO MYSTERY guys than to casual folks like you, because they have "SEEN YOU FINISH" .... so you are only good for FRIEND ZONE. Ladies find guys who appear not to even know they exist MORE ATTRACTIVE... So bro, get a life and stop thinking about LADIES.... they are overrated o... once you get into the lifestyle being hooked with ladies, you will CRAVE getting out.

Another thing is, MAKE MONEY.... BUILD YOUR STATUS... once of the reason, soldiers, politicians, pastors, imams, SUG presidents, musicians, etc get to sleep with many ladies or get lots of attention and chase from ladies is because THEY REPRESENT LEADERSHIP or WEALTH or BOTH.... and 90% of ladies are insecure so they will gladly throw themselves at such men....GO AND BUILD ON YOURSELF... it wont take too long you will find ladies begging to be your lover.

pcguru1:
At 22 all I could think of was playing playstation

AntiMCU:
So you believe in this karma stuff?

I've never had any reason to, which brings me to the question of why "Karma" is cited when bad things happen.

You hardly hear that word when it's bright and fair.