₦airaland Forum

Op its a good thing u want to work on yourself when it comes to women and get the experience but also be careful what you wish for at the same time.
I believe its just a matter of time and everything will be in place.

But this life self weh pple they complain say them don tire with gals chasing dem up nd down nd then there comes a guy complaining on how he has been rejected sevarally

SingleGuy9999:
bro I've thought of lowering my standards already but it's not like they are high before...I find it hard to relate well with these high class girls so normally I tend to vibe more with normal average girls, tho I noticed Im more attracted to fair girls but I've liked like 2 dark girls before...
I don't see how I wanna lower my standards again except u mean I should purposely go for girls I'm not into...and that's not what I want, I want someone I care about
And as for confidence, I can't build it up when I keep getting rejected, no matter how much I try when I think of asking a girl out I always get the feeling that it'll end same way...
Seems only way to genuinely build up that confidence towards girls is to be accepted at least once

My son, give me your heart and let your eyes find delight in my ways,--proverbs 23:26

For cursed is the man who trusts in mere human and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD.--Jeremiah 17:5

Yet you have not listened to Me," declares the LORD, "in order that you might provoke Me to anger with the work of your hands to your own harm.--Jeremiah 25:7

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." --1st Corinthians 6:16

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the LORD from a pure heart.--2 Timothy 2:22

A word is enough for the wise.

bigpriik:
09082951462

op does not sale sure odd

SingleGuy9999:
Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help

my dear your post too long unfortunately I couldn't read tru .first of all u are not well u need to first be friends before u see the need to move to the need to move forward. You can't just jump that first crucial part many people have done that before and it ended terribly maybe those girls u feel u didn't like and ignore were maybe compartable ur loss. And why should they want to remain friends Abi u are not a man. I feel u are not a man even if it's me even friends sef I no gree

wait till u go service..... u go see dem plenty

LexPrescott:
I'm exactly in OP's shoes. I'm 21 tho, but will be done with final year by next week. I came here to read the comments, maybe I can find something useful myself.

Guy, we are literally in the same shoes, same age, i am in final year also, to be done next month, never had a girlfriend and am also here to read comments.

frozen70:
Read it again, he said only with hookers, so who are hookers ❓

well, his statement reads: I CAN EASILY GET A HOOKER AND PAY. it doesn't mean he has already done it, it means he can. He is simply implying what he can do, not what he has done.

Dizzyrascal:
well, his statement reads: I CAN EASILY GET A HOOKER AND PAY. it doesn't mean he has already done it, it means he can. He is simply implying what he can do, not what he has done.

OK, his mind is not yet ready for conventional women since he knows that he can easily hook up with hookers

frozen70:
OK, his mind is not yet ready for conventional women since he knows that he can easily hook up with hookers

EXACTLY!!!na now you understand wetin I dey try tell you since. Sorry I was a bit hard on you the first time. Am I forgiven? Can we be friends instead?

Dizzyrascal:
EXACTLY!!!na now you understand wetin I dey try tell you since. Sorry I was a bit hard on you the first time. Am I forgiven? Can we be friends instead?

We are friends already, apology accepted

cooooooks:
So that he'll be 35, still a virgin and chicks will think something is wrong with him.

Oga, thanks for your response.

I'm trying to detach myself and see things from his point of view.

Imagine an 18 year girl is only in her underwear and she complains that no man looked at her, will you not find that strange? Will you not ask what's wrong? Or does she have polio?

He states he has asked 7 girls out and no positive response? Really?

I am still trying to find out what's wrong. how will you make a pass at 7 girls and not one is interested? Why are there no girls giving him green-light? There should be? There's something missing somewhere.

I used to be very shy. I'm still quite shy. But most girls I approached were interested. And many girls gave me cues or green-light. I'm trying to put 2 and 2 together and that's why I came up with the answer

Perhaps, he is trying too hard! Perhaps he is running after girls that will be least attracted to his personality? Maybe he is trying to act like a guy he is not and they notice and this puts them off.

He might be getting training from the wrong quarters about what to do. Maybe those advising him are only interested in him having sex and it shows when he approaches women.

That is why I said what I did. With time, things will fall into place. Once he starts work, buys a car and so on. This will boost his confidence, make him shine. That may have been the way he was raised.

That is why I gave that advise.

If he's chummy with his parents, they are the best to provide him with direction and confidence. His mum could say, "Jimmy, you're a handsome guy. There's no girl that can turn you down. Don't you know you're dashing? Your father seated over there was not even half this dashing and I was even posing with him when I was with my friends. My son, carry go, nothing spoil"

You may find this hard to believe but the advise coming from home is the best. The prime problem most time is that many parents choose to bury their heads in the sand and therefore worsen the problems by compelling their kids to find answers outside.

That's why paedophiles and rapists have a field day because many parents have abdicated their duties and believe that any form of sex education or romance education is bad. That really isn't Christian (Deutoronomy 31:12). The Mosaic Law contained sexual matters and children had to listen to it.

frozen70:
We are friends already, apology accepted

damn! Something tells me that you would be a really sweet somebody, with a sweet personality. Ok, I rest my case. I don't want to get carried away.

bigpriik:
Mr op, majority of guys here are just like you.even me myself was once like you until I decided to improve myself by learning new things .people who will give you advice here are mostly guys who are inexperienced with women and believe money is all women want ,money will get you women sure but you will later spot its fake love because they will frustrated you with outrageous financial demands ,women are like wildfire its either learn how to control them or they will consume you don't worry send me you WhatsApp number lets chat.

Can we chat about this please 08037177066

emmy2807:
Guy, we are literally in the same shoes, same age, i am in final year also, to be done next month, never had a girlfriend and am also here to read comments.

Almost same here, I had even served 2 years now, the worst is that am the only of both late parents, dem lonely, I have had some girls in the past but it was only one I really liked deeply, I tend to see myself as a nice guy even in the previous relationship because I just don't want to hurt someone, I am not so jovial as some guys who can even insult them girls and still be loved, I gradually stopped trying to get girls after some series of rejection and for closed to 2 years now hustling I have lost all my confidence in flowing with a lady, I can't even surmon courage to approach them and if I do I say contrary, I will soon start considering marriage and I feel like am small and less kind off. You can help me via 08037177066

Getta:
Almost same here, I had even served 2 years now, the worst is that am the only of both late parents, dem lonely, I have had some girls in the past but it was only one I really liked deeply, I tend to see myself as a nice guy even in the previous relationship because I just don't want to hurt someone, I am not so jovial as some guys who can even insult them girls and still be loved, I gradually stopped trying to get girls after some series of rejection and for closed to 2 years now hustling I have lost all my confidence in flowing with a lady, I can't even surmon courage to approach them and if I do I say contrary, I will soon start considering marriage and I feel like am small and less kind off. You can help me via 08037177066

Am tired of chatting guys up so much on my WhatsApp I will only give you a few tips.

if you want a girlfriend fast and quickly remove you Mind from getting a girlfriend now and focus on being free with women so you can boost your confidence .there is no rule on how to get women but there is a specific mindset you will have that will get women attracted to you .

1) upgrade you self esteem and self love.
I suffered this stuff in the past ,and believe me even your males friends wunt find you attractive if you have low self esteem and women too will resent you, always tell you self that you are good enough,women can sense for if you have low self esteem and its a turn off because they want to look up to you in times of difficulty if you don't believe in yourself how will that be possible.

2)Have some guts
This is one thing I learnt from agberos in the streets and its works .women love men with guts have some balls ,now how do you build your balls its simple.You have to accept the fact that women will always be women they will play hard to get,put on a frown whenever you approach ,don't let that scare you be a man,most times this behaviour is fake ,they really love bring approached by men but pretend ,next time you approach a lady don't let her frowned face scare you ,never be afraid of rejection itz normal thing that all guyz experience.don't

3)stop being emotional and needy

this is what separates badboys from good boys in the game ,a bad boy makes the move on girls not caring if he gets hurt or not and the girl gets wowed by his risk taking ability even if he gets hurt by the girl rejection he swallows the bitter pill and move on to the next girl till he gets one that will fall for him.stop being a cry baby and take life as it is some people will treat you bad ,some people will treat you good that life for you ,when people treat you bad swallow the bitter pill and move on and still believe in yourself don't let people behaviour destroy your joy.

(4)don't ask girls out just flirt with them.

I will like you to assume all girls you will meet will like you sexually at first sight without doubt.
display your sexual interest with your body language not with words .when you collect a girls number next thing is how to move forward to romance don't wait for her to accept you first before advancing ,if you display a lot of confidence self belief and self esteem right from the start she will feel attracted to you naturally though she may resist you bit but keep pressuring her with your confidence .don't be afraid to invite a girl to your house for sex,don't be afraid to discuss sexual issues with your new catch some girls have naughty fantasies.once you have sex with a girl or kiss her you can now ask her out of she says no she is the one that lost not you.

5)always smile and be funny
if you want to build a large female fan base this is essential for it is where you will find your girl always put on a smiling face don't take life too seriously ,you meet a girl you like for the first time don't be afraid to make fun of her a little
you can says this one you are wearing red red is it Valentine already,don't finish all that food oo I will join you soon ooo.

6)use girls as bait
women are naturally attractive to guys other women are attracted to ,women are hypergamous In nature ,they want men that are of high social status,give that girl you like the impression that other women like you ,you will be amazed at her response to you.

more to come later.

Jgoldie:
You wrote all this epistle ontop woman matter.....dude get a life,a job and make money.....love is so over rated.....matters of the heart happens when we don't expect it...shalom

What job do you want a student to do huh?
You for help me disvirgin the guys self.
Teach one or two things on how to enter there

OmoAlata1:
You probably have body or mouth odor. Ask someone that you trust to tell you the truth

THIS IS A GIRL...I REPEAT THIS IS A GIRL....
ARE U ASKING ME HOW DO I KNOW??,,.i know it...
By their Advice You shall know them...

ChiefGuru24:
There's a book i read. The book is 10k. Get it. It's worth every penny. I didnt have a gf till i left uni then i bought this book at the time. I had 4 gfs in 5 months. Your own better. I was shy as fûck sef and i even struggled to talk to my female cousins but this book changed everything for me(with a little practice of cuz) there are other books but this one is the easiest and most practical. It breaks it down for you to easy understandable steps. Covers various topics like
why you're in the friendzone?

Why asking a girl out is bad idea

Never get rejected again without lowering your standards.

It also has a unique topic i havent seen in any book before "How to get her to make the first move"

Which kind book be dat enh?,, na magical book?,,

SkinnyNigga:
this your comment funny me eh... i lost my dad few days to my 22nd birthday.. i was sad and down at 22.

Sorry for your Loss man. RIP to your Old man

SingleGuy9999:
Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help

The reason you feel this way is because you are comparing yourself with other guys your age. Everyone has their own timing in life. It may not just be time for you to get into a profiting relationship. If you know the hurts and pains that you are being delivered from, you would rather be grateful. Because others are having girlfriends doesn't mean you should too.
It is not compulsory to have a girlfriend at this stage of your life. Have platonic friends but learn in those relationships. Get busy preparing a foundation for the rest of your life- get to know and understand your purpose in life and start taking steps towards fulfilling them. Spend time developing yourself. These will help you see better the kind of woman that will help you to fulfil purpose and vice versa.
When it is time, you will get that one who you will spend the rest of your life with fulfilled.
Many would wish to be like you but you are wishing to be like them. What an irony.

You can PM to recommend/ give you some good books

TemmyT002:
Dude, I feel your pain bro
Shebi you are 22. I am almost 30 and still a virgin.
After a breakup with my ex whom I dated for five years (I never wooed her; we just dated), I tried to 'toast' three different girls.
One said she can only be a sister to me. Another said she is in a relationship and the third told me ladies don't say yes at the first attempt.
I wanted to give up because I was very shy. I got advice from male and female friends but nothing worked.
I prayed for guidance and finally met a beautiful lady. All I had to do is tell her my intention and she agreed.
My advice is, for now, just face your studies or work, whichever one you have.
Ask yourself why you want to date. Is it just for experimenting or do you have future plans. The answers to these will help you choose the right girl.
When you find the girl you really like-that is after studying her o, tell her your intentions and make sure she is not single. That's all
However, if you no pray, na you go tire. It doesn't matter what anyone says.

virgin indeed
Lying to make the op feel better

nelsonebby:
virgin indeed
Lying to make the op feel better

You need Jesus. You dey read minds?

I made another comment which was directly aimed at advising him.

I noted that he might seem desperate.

However, I disagree that he should wait until when he is working or has money. People are diggers mehn and for someone without experience/history in dating or even knowing when someone actually likes you, he could be easily misled.

grandstar:
Oga, thanks for your response.

I'm trying to detach myself and see things from his point of view.

Imagine an 18 year girl is only in her underwear and she complains that no man looked at her, will you not find that strange? Will you not ask what's wrong? Or does she have polio?

He states he has asked 7 girls out and no positive response? Really?

I am still trying to find out what's wrong. how will you make a pass at 7 girls and not one is interested? Why are there no girls giving him green-light? There should be? There's something missing somewhere.

I used to be very shy. I'm still quite shy. But most girls I approached were interested. And many girls gave me cues or green-light. I'm trying to put 2 and 2 together and that's why I came up with the answer

Perhaps, he is trying too hard! Perhaps he is running after girls that will be least attracted to his personality? Maybe he is trying to act like a guy he is not and they notice and this puts them off.

He might be getting training from the wrong quarters about what to do. Maybe those advising him are only interested in him having sex and it shows when he approaches women.

That is why I said what I did. With time, things will fall into place. Once he starts work, buys a car and so on. This will boost his confidence, make him shine. That may have been the way he was raised.

That is why I gave that advise.

If he's chummy with his parents, they are the best to provide him with direction and confidence. His mum could say, "Jimmy, you're a handsome guy. There's no girl that can turn you down. Don't you know you're dashing? Your father seated over there was not even half this dashing and I was even posing with him when I was with my friends. My son, carry go, nothing spoil"

You may find this hard to believe but the advise coming from home is the best. The prime problem most time is that many parents choose to bury their heads in the sand and therefore worsen the problems by compelling their kids to find answers outside.

That's why paedophiles and rapists have a field day because many parents have abdicated their duties and believe that any form of sex education or romance education is bad. That really isn't Christian (Deutoronomy 31:12). The Mosaic Law contained sexual matters and children had to listen to it.

cooooooks:
I made another comment which was directly aimed at advising him.

I noted that he might seem desperate.

However, I disagree that he should wait until when he is working or has money. People are diggers mehn and for someone without experience/history in dating or even knowing when someone actually likes you, he could be easily misled.

I do agree with you but when the response is poor, that may be the only choice.

LifeStylePlus:
The reason you feel this way is because you are comparing yourself with other guys your age. Everyone has their own timing in life. It may not just be time for you to get into a profiting relationship. If you know the hurts and pains that you are being delivered from, you would rather be grateful. Because others are having girlfriends doesn't mean you should too.
It is not compulsory to have a girlfriend at this stage of your life. Have platonic friends but learn in those relationships. Get busy preparing a foundation for the rest of your life- get to know and understand your purpose in life and start taking steps towards fulfilling them. Spend time developing yourself. These will help you see better the kind of woman that will help you to fulfil purpose and vice versa.
When it is time, you will get that one who you will spend the rest of your life with fulfilled.
Many would wish to be like you but you are wishing to be like them. What an irony.

You can PM to recommend/ give you some good books

I love this comment but I have a question,what is the determinant of success in life is it hard work or or grace of God?because am a bit confused about all this...

capitalzero:
Why Don’t Girls Like Me?
I’m really impressing her. I’ve told her all about myself​—the things I own, the places I’ve been, the people I know. She must be dying to date me!
I wish the ground would open and swallow me up! Can’t he take a hint? How can I end this conversation without being rude?
YOU’RE old enough to date. You’d like to find someone who is attractive and who shares your religious beliefs. ( 1 Corinthians 7:39 ) In the past, though, each time you tried to start a relationship, you felt as though you crashed and burned.
If you’d like to get to know a girl better, what factors do you need to consider? And what Bible principles would you do well to remember?
What to Do First
Before you decide to pursue a particular girl, there are some basic skills you need to master, and these will help you to be friends with
anyone. Consider the following.
▪ Cultivate good manners. The Bible says that “love is not ill-mannered.” ( 1 Corinthians 13:5 ,
Today’s English Version ) Good manners show that you respect others and that you’re developing a mature, Christlike personality. However, good manners aren’t like a suit you wear to impress others but take off when you get home. Ask yourself, ‘Do I display good manners when dealing with my family members?’ If not, then it will seem forced when you do so while interacting with others outside your home. Remember, to find out the type of person you really are, a discerning girl will look at the way you treat members of your family.​—
Ephesians 6:1, 2.
What girls say: “I definitely find it attractive if a boy displays good manners both in small things, like opening the door for me, and larger things, like being kind and considerate not only to me but also to my family.”​— Tina, 20 .*
“I am put off when I’ve just met someone but he asks questions that are too personal, such as ‘Are you dating?’ and ‘What are your goals?’ It’s rude and makes me squirm!”​— Kathy, 19.
▪ Maintain your personal hygiene. Good hygiene shows respect not only for others but also for yourself. ( Matthew 7:12 ) If you respect yourself, others are more likely to respect you. On the other hand, if you let your hygiene slide, you’ll sabotage your efforts to impress a girl.
What girls say: “One boy who was interested in me had really bad breath. I just couldn’t get past that.”​—Kelly, 24.
▪ Cultivate conversation skills. The basis of a lasting relationship is good communication. This involves discussing not only your interests but also the interests of your friend.​—Philippians 2:3, 4 .
What girls say: “I’m impressed when a boy can converse with me naturally, when he can remember things I told him and can ask questions that keep the conversation moving.”​— Christine, 20.
“I think that boys are attracted to what they see, but girls are more attracted to what they hear.”​— Laura, 22.
“Gifts are great. But if a boy can hold a good conversation, if he can comfort and encourage you with his words . . . Wow! That’s attractive.”​— Amy, 21.
“I would definitely want to get to know someone better if he had a sense of humor but could also talk about more serious things without sounding fake.”​— Kelly, 24.
Applying the above suggestions will help you to enjoy good friendships. However, once you feel that you are ready to start a serious relationship with a particular girl, what should you do?
The Next Step
▪ Take the initiative. If you think a friend whom you admire might make a good marriage mate, let her know you are interested in her. Be clear and forthright in declaring your feelings. Yes, it can be nerve-racking. You fear rejection. But your being willing to take the initiative is a sign that you have grown up.
What girls say: “I can’t read minds. So if someone wanted to get to know me better, he would have to be honest and straightforward and just tell me.”​— Nina, 23.
“It could be an awkward transition if you’ve been friends for a while. But I’d respect someone if he simply said that he would like to get to know me as more than just a friend.”​—
Helen, 25.
▪ Respect the girl’s decision. What if your friend says that she doesn’t want a more serious relationship with you? Dignify her by believing that she knows her own heart and that her no means no. It betrays a lack of maturity if you make a pest of yourself. Really, if you ignore a girl’s explicit rejection of your attention​—even becoming provoked by her rebuff—​are you really thinking of her interests or your own?​— 1 Corinthians 13:11 .
What girls say: “It irritates me when I say a definite no to a boy but he keeps on trying.”​—
Colleen, 20.
“I explained to one boy that I wasn’t interested in him, but he kept pressuring me for my phone number. I wanted to be nice. After all, it probably wasn’t easy for him to work up the nerve to express his feelings. But eventually I had to be very firm with him.”​— Sarah, 23.
What Not to Do
Some young men feel that they have little trouble getting girls to like them. They may even compete with their peers to show who can grab the attention of the most girls. However, such competition is cruel and will earn you a bad reputation. ( Proverbs 20:11 ) You can avoid that outcome if you do the following.
▪ Don’t flirt. A flirt uses flattering speech and provocative body language. He has no intention of pursuing an honorable romantic relationship. Such actions and attitudes ignore the Bible’s counsel to treat “younger women as sisters with all chasteness.” ( 1 Timothy 5:2 ) Flirts make poor friends and worse marriage mates. Discerning girls know that.
What girls say: “I think it’s very unattractive when someone flatters you but you know that he has said the same things to your friend just last month.”​— Helen, 25.
“This cute boy once started flirting with me, talking mainly about himself. When another girl joined our group, he did the same with her. Then a third girl joined our group, and he used the same lines on her. It was ugly!”​— Tina, 20.
▪ Don’t toy with a girl’s feelings. Don’t expect that friendship with a member of the opposite sex will operate according to the same rules as friendship with a member of the same sex. Why? Consider: If you remarked that a male friend looked good in his new suit or you regularly talked to that friend and confided in him, it is unlikely that he would think that you are romantically attracted to him. But if you compliment a girl on her appearance or you regularly talk to her and confide in her, she may well think that you have a romantic interest in her.
What girls say: “I just don’t think boys understand that they can’t treat girls the same way that they treat their male friends.”​— Sheryl, 26.
“A boy will get my phone number, and then I get a text message from him. So, . . . what does that mean? Sometimes you can have a text-messaging relationship and get emotionally attached, but how much can you say in a text message?”​— Mallory, 19.
“I don’t think a boy realizes how quickly a girl can become emotionally involved, especially if he is caring and easy to talk to. It’s not that she’s desperate. I just think that most girls want to fall in love and that they always have an eye out for ‘Mr. Right.’”​— Alison, 25.
Be Realistic
It’s unrealistic, even egotistical, to think that all
girls will like you. But some will if you remember this: How you look on the outside is less important than what you are on the inside. It’s hardly surprising that the Bible emphasizes the need to cultivate “the new personality.”​—
Ephesians 4:24 .
Kate, 21, sums up the matter this way: “Boys think that to attract girls they have to dress a certain way or have a certain look. While this is true to some degree, I think that many girls are more attracted to positive personality traits.”*


https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/102009170

u and op ga chuba ego

SingleGuy9999:
Good day guys, I'm not really too active here, but this is a 2nd account I created for this. I am 22 year old student in my final year. But I've never had a girlfriend, also I have never had sex, but that is not the major problem as I can easily get a hooker and pay. I feel I'm pretty good looking, at least average. This would be a little long, pls try to read through.

My problem is I can't seem to get a girlfriend, I have been rejected by girls like 7 times in a row or more...I don't meet that many girls but I do go out and meet sha and if I like a girl and I feel she's someone I can date I ask her out. If we aren't really vibing I just delete their numbers and forget about them. But I keep getting rejected by all the girls I've asked out, they either see me as a friend and tell me stuff like I'm a good friend or they not ready for a relationship or that they feel I have no feelings for them...like wtf

It's really frustrating so much that it's literally killed every confidence I have to ask girls out. Like the last 3 girls I wanted to ask out I ended up not bothering since I know it'll end same way...planned to ask one out today but I just couldn't stand to get rejected again...cos even tho I think what I'm getting might be green light I'm not sure about girls anymore...in fact now I'm no longer sure if the girls I think liked me before ever did (I wasn't interested in them so I didn't ask them out). Even the one who made me lose all hope was after spending so much time with a girl, I was asking her out for 4 months, I never tot I'd ever ask a girl out that long but I was blinded by love...and we spent so much time together, my friends kept wondering if we were dating but she never said yes even tho she said she liked me too but kept giving excuses...and I pretty much abandoned chasing other girls in for that while...but I still got a no at the end with story changed to she tot she liked me but was just trying to as she could see I was in love with her and didn't wanna break my heart...

That killed my confidence, and I'm not blaming her or anyone...now since then I've only asked 2 girls out, and I still got rejected...

I spend time with the girls, we hang out, flirt, chat etc but they would never date me... I've gotten so lonely as I want to date someone I truly care about and I have even questioned if it's possible for 2 people to fall in love with each other out of the billions of people on earth.

I've heard from someone that I play with girls too much so they won't take me seriously, another was that I'm nice (I don't think I'm that "nice guy" cos I won't go extra mile for any girl just cos I like her, but I'm understanding and I think I tend to make excuses for people when they disappoint). And I'm tired of girls seeing me as a friend, or being taken for granted. In fact my best female friend is one who I asked out before.

When I see people dating I wonder if they from another planet, I can't figure out what's wrong...is it that I have no luck with girls? I have gone online, read books etc. They all keep saying same thing...they talk about confidence but I had that...tho right now I just fake it cos all my confidence is gone with numerous rejections. Then I read about working on yourself, I have done that, I may not be anywhere near the freshest guy but at least I'm sure I'm okay. They talk about creating tension and stuff by making contact and I do that, I hold them around the waist etc....

So far I even read that I shouldn't blame myself or stop trying to figure out what went wrong when I face rejections, that's what I'm doing now...but nothing seems to be changing. I rarely spend time with girls again, except some good friends, and instead I've been focusing more on my hobbies cos I now see it as a waste of time when it only ends in rejection. I think of going out with a girl but I just rather sit at home or spend more time with my guys or even spend the money on them cos I'm fed up. The thought even crossed my mind to give up on girls since it never seems to work...I'm not used to multiple failure as even in other stuff I don't fail as much, but I just can't seem to get it to work with girls. Everything seems fine at first and going smoothly but it all ends with rejection.
I don't wanna give up on girls and I know there's nothing left of my confidence when it comes to girls, tho I fake it...and I will never result to insulting girls just cos of my rejection.

Pls I need real advice on what to do, I have exhausted all my options, and today I resolved to never ask any girl out till I'm 99% sure she'll say yes, but is that even possible? I know every guy gets rejected but it's not easy when u get rejected several times in a row by girls you have serious feelings for.

Should I just cut my losses and give up on girls? For months I spent time on other things and never really cared about any girl any longer but now that feeling is back with this new girl but I can't even ask her out cos I can't say for sure what her reply would be... maybe a no as I usually get...

Pls don't insult me or call me names I just need advice that would help

The formula is simple

Always be on your purpose, don't be too available, don't be predictable (let them see you as a mystery guy they need to figure out)..flirt with them occasionally and have an abundance mindset that communicates I don't care if u reject me or not

Execute these well and girl will be all over you

emmy2807:
Guy, we are literally in the same shoes, same age, i am in final year also, to be done next month, never had a girlfriend and am also here to read comments.

Same shoes,final year 20yo,UI,4year in uni no gf,no female close friend.....My hippocampus has been for a while probably because I have been closed up for so long...I just find everything to be a drag

waywardpikin:
Lol my nigga. Why I like your thread is because of the honesty with which you communicated your pain. We have all been there, even guys that are more capable than James Bond also get rejected, whether they admit it or not.

From what you wrote, everything checks out and I think you're on the right path. But you're making one crucial mistake that is ruining your game and making a waste of all your effort. I don't even work as hard as you to get ladies.

Your mistake - STOP ASKING WOMEN OUT!

Yeah I put it in caps in hope it'll sink in. You say you hold them around the waist and stuff, that is very good. Your next move is to try and kiss her. Focus on being a flirt, go heavy on the jokes, but sometimes switch and let them see a mean side of you you really don't want them to see.

Be like a light switch, on and off, on and off, hot and cold.

I tell you bro, you will just find yourself in several relationships because the women have already started dating you in their minds. Na after the sex she go dey ask you, "What are we?"

Then you can smile and answer her in Michael Jackson's voice that, "We are the woooooorld, we are the childrennnnnnnn."

Also I think you're taking this dating thing a little too seriously which could be a turn off for some women. Have fun, bro. Have lots of fun. You're still young and the world is your oyster.

P.S. Ideally, I'd advise you to stay off women altogether and focus on building yourself but you need the experience. Men without any experience in Womanology get seriously burned sooner or later so go hard, learn your lessons and grow.

Xoxo.

I can't believe I'm liking the post of a wayward pikin Bros you made good sense with this post.

Noel1:
Forget about girls. U don't need girls....

When a dog is to get lost, it doesn't listen to the sound of a whistle calling it back

Abcruz:
My son, give me your heart and let your eyes find delight in my ways,--proverbs 23:26

For cursed is the man who trusts in mere human and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD.--Jeremiah 17:5

Yet you have not listened to Me," declares the LORD, "in order that you might provoke Me to anger with the work of your hands to your own harm.--Jeremiah 25:7

Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." --1st Corinthians 6:16

Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, with those who call on the LORD from a pure heart.--2 Timothy 2:22

A word is enough for the wise.

LifeStylePlus:
The reason you feel this way is because you are comparing yourself with other guys your age. Everyone has their own timing in life. It may not just be time for you to get into a profiting relationship. If you know the hurts and pains that you are being delivered from, you would rather be grateful. Because others are having girlfriends doesn't mean you should too.
It is not compulsory to have a girlfriend at this stage of your life. Have platonic friends but learn in those relationships. Get busy preparing a foundation for the rest of your life- get to know and understand your purpose in life and start taking steps towards fulfilling them. Spend time developing yourself. These will help you see better the kind of woman that will help you to fulfil purpose and vice versa.
When it is time, you will get that one who you will spend the rest of your life with fulfilled.
Many would wish to be like you but you are wishing to be like them. What an irony.

You can PM to recommend/ give you some good books

His mind is made up.

uchechefaith:
To be sincere at 22yrs u don't need a girlfriend, focus on your career, dreams, visions, u are not even ready for marriage not even in the next five years I wonder why u are so concerned about a girlfriend .

My dear, save your saliva. He won't hear.

TemmyT002:
Dude, I feel your pain bro
Shebi you are 22. I am almost 30 and still a virgin.
After a breakup with my ex whom I dated for five years (I never wooed her; we just dated), I tried to 'toast' three different girls.
One said she can only be a sister to me. Another said she is in a relationship and the third told me ladies don't say yes at the first attempt.
I wanted to give up because I was very shy. I got advice from male and female friends but nothing worked.
I prayed for guidance and finally met a beautiful lady. All I had to do is tell her my intention and she agreed.
My advice is, for now, just face your studies or work, whichever one you have.
Ask yourself why you want to date. Is it just for experimenting or do you have future plans. The answers to these will help you choose the right girl.
When you find the girl you really like-that is after studying her o, tell her your intentions and make sure she is not single. That's all
However, if you no pray, na you go tire. It doesn't matter what anyone says.

He can't turn back. His desires are stronger than his will.