₦airaland Forum

Shadbay


Go to Google.com... On the search box, type MGTOW and do an intensive research on MGTOW.

That's all I can say for now.

You'll come out stronger.

Live with it. Naija babes have been enduring same since time.
She dated you for 7 years and suddenly became evil.... That means your character towards her is questionable. She prolly was enduring your attitude while you were thinking you are the universe most perfect gift to womankind.

My friend, buckle up, women have been impregnated and dumped, they stood and took the bull by the horn. They did not only nurse the heart break, they nursed the burden that comes wiith being pregnant out of wedlock, being denied by the man responsible and being laughed at by hollier than thou people. Wetin you experience wey be the biggest deal of time?

After breakup...She sent you message that she is getting married..dude you dated her for 7 years, her problem is not that you are cheating as she claimed..she just want to get married get the picture bro

Since she cant wait and for her to treat you like you are nothing show her you are something,move on without her alot of well behave ladies are out their...Your ex dont deserve your love after everthing she is causing you all this pain Bro move on..

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

my hats off to you sir, such maturity and level of discipline with words have I never seen, you should take counseling and guidance as a serious thing, these words of yours are life itself.

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

It's not ideal to decide a matter of this nature from one person's point of view, and there might still be details of events which you didn't present in this post.

That being said, I think you should move on...your major crime here seems to be the fact that you're not financially secure yet, I heard you mention job/graduate school rejection, so you know your answer already....don't make things worse by trying to sound like you don't already know.

She found someone richer, financially stable and ready for marriage and dived head-on, maybe with some pressure and justification from the suitor, her friends and family, which is why she was calling them the said day you went to her house. Everything other thing that happened, including the slandering is her childishness oozing...because she could have handled the situation better.

You should heal and move on, notwithstanding how painful it is. Because it'll be even more painful if in a few years she sees you in a less than successful place, that would make her right, because she left you for a guy with the social and financial security, according to her and her folks. Proove them all wrong by pushing until you become successful. And don't be afraid to love again, because love will surely find you.

And don't bear any resentment or ill-feelings towards her, that will only make it harder for you to heal. Accept what is, and consciously work for what will be....and as for karma?...don't bother, that's myth, even she meets some misfortune of the husband she married doesn't turn out to be the safety net she's seeking, that won't be because of you, or what she did to you...that would be because of her miscalculation and poor judgement.

Calm down your heart bro,,,try and move on nd forget her,..some of these girls aren't loyal,to guys who are loyal to them......
Believe me bro ,she will come back to apologise after the rich guy she left you for "don chop clean mouth leave her" but you will be a mugu to accept her back,because she will not only break your heart again ,she will shatter it.....










Advice for you






Next time when you are in a relationship,,,make it 65% attention to the girl and remaining 35% for breakup any time (prepare your mind for it always)......

And here it is ladies and gents. We are witnessing the birth of a new savage if things go properly. Welcome brother. Your first mistake was putting all your eggs in one basket. One girl is too close to 0 girls. So always have backup, because she definitely does. It's even easier for her than you. All she has to do is take her bath (or not) and walk outside.

2nd. Believe this mantra firmly "Depression is not real. It doesn't exist" Someone your age somewhere has it worse. dem no die. Focus on your body and your pocket and she'll be a silly memory in 4 months. Hit the gym (even cement gym) and learn an online business. You will thank me.

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

Self love.
I love my life die.
No lady can break me and none has ever broken me.

Do u know the secret I never trust the very day u say yes to my proposal... I just believe that one day the same u will Bleep up...


Am always expecting u to Bleep up, I may show u love take care of u but deep down in my heart and I cheat on u wen I have the opportunity to do so.



So wen u Bleep up my mind is never broken � � � is not for my type.
That's how I live my life and I wish every heart broken guy can learn this style.

I learn from others is not like I have been heart broken before I don't just believe in love.


Even if I marry and u cheat I will not be disappointed never.

Be like me if u can but not am not a playboy I love but I don't fall in love.


Its Azord.

You went from 91kg to 85 kg because if a girl and you expect her not to think you have a venereal disease

GoldPencil:
And here it is ladies and gents. We are witnessing the birth of a new savage if things go properly. Welcome brother. Your first mistake was putting all your eggs in one basket. One girl is too close to 0 girls. So always have backup, because she definitely does. It's even easier for her than you. All she has to do is take her bath (or not) and walk outside.

2nd. Believe this mantra firmly "Depression is not real. It doesn't exist" Someone your age somewhere has it worse. dem no die. Focus on your body and your pocket and she'll be a silly memory in 4 months. Hit the gym (even cement gym) and learn an online business. You will thank me.

Exactly bro....... Same thing I tell women. Why put all your eggs in 1 basket that comes to you with vengeance?
I hope women also learn from his story too. Cos they are mostly victims to sweet mouth/use and dump. Trust no one and don't act loyal to any niggur. Always have backup.

Niggurs be cheating and acting all hurt and broken when the same pill is shoved down their throats.

Laugh wan kie me for here

chinchonglee:
Mtcheww!!! U nor well oo.

U re in ur mid twenties nd dis is wat is making u depressed

U never serious.

Exactly the same thing happened to me last year.. Painful thing was she was the one playing the victim.. I lost a whole lot of weight couple with the fact that I was having job rejection, no money nothing to even hold on to.. It wasn't easy for me but I am glad I finally let go and moved on

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

.

Good Post.

healthserve:
Since you've been where the Op is in the past, is it true such ladies suffer at the hands of karma later on? What happened to/with the madam?

When someone hurts you without being remorseful, don't focus on how they end up, focus on how you can use the hurt and pain to create something great for yourself or else, you'll end up being bitter. Not just toward them, but everyone who hurts you thenceforth. It essentially becomes a part of you, and this can make you become toxic to the core.

GeniusWannabe:
When someone hurts you without being remorseful, don't focus on how they end up, focus on how you can use the hurt and pain to create something great for yourself or else, you'll end up being bitter, not just toward them, but everyone who hurts you thenceforth. It essentially becomes a part of you, and this can make you become toxic to the core.

I know this. Just pointing it out for others to see and learn not for myself personally. Irrespective of personal development, people ought to know betrayers almost never flourish

I thought I will hear from our ladies, no one yet.

See yourself as one good student who did very well in an exam but a malicious lecturer failed you. Be proud of yourself and give yourself a break from any romantic relationship for now. Time will heal you, love will find you.

You should remember that not every relationships will surely end in marriage, so just forget the past and move on, you will surely find the right person that will stay by you and not give you stress.

Go to you tube search for coach red pill. Watch all his videos mostly the type about women. Thank me after, lovely day

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.

That very Nairalander is very stupid

healthserve:
I know this. Just pointing it out for others to see and learn not for myself personally. Irrespective of personal development, people ought to know betrayers almost never flourish

Thanks for the clarification. You're right!

imitateMe:
Lol....the guy is so funny. I'm in my late twenties and I don't have any gf...I'm not worried at all. He should be thinking of nursing a career.

Can u imagine!!! As if having a gf is his priority in life..

Y cant he jst let go of everything nd shift his attention on his career.

Bro I feel your pains , but why don't you look at it this way ...she is just a travel partner that was suppose to work you in this journey of life, she has gotten to her destination, I blv the right person(lady) for you will surely come along and this will be a life partner that will complete the life journey with you ...so get yourself together, embrace life and continue to live ...remember whatever is yours can never be taken away from you.

ACE1010:
Don't mind the dullard !! Mid twenties and he's crying depression. Nonsense

D real cause of d depression sef is useless.

Princedapace:
Hey bro, brace up okay, I was there. This should make u stronger. Lol, my own story funny. I loved beyond comprehension. men too dey love shaa, girls dont love with their heart o.

Women are more matured in love than men. Women come out of heart break faster. lol. Brace up okay.

Ur story sounded like mine. Well, today, Im married, happy while that ma yeye ex never marry sef. lol. I dey ball with my young wifie. Im less than 30. So bro. enjoy ur self, u go dey alright. dont be harsh on ur self, becus u will surely feel pains.

Well, in ma case, many girls paid o. I broke hearts eh, i became a beast. I wouldnt say u should do same becus i later felt bad that i had to hurt so many ladies becus of the stupidity of one.

this what I fear about the op, he pray he doesn't go on heartbreaking spree.

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

mehn....u nailed it bro....more oil on your head.... bless ya bro

spiceadole:
You date a girl for 7 years..Not ready to marry her.yet you don't expect her to move on.
You are more wicked than Satan.

Your problem is poverty.
Make money and you won't be crying over one woman.
After all,guys always boast about having numerous women and changing them like boxers.

Congrats to the girl.
She made a wise decision... after all if she continues wasting her youthfulness waiting for you,its the same you who will turn round to label her evening newspaper and dump her for a younger girl.


Women need to wise up like this..when a relationship isn't getting to the altar, move on.
No time!

Boyfriend is different from husband

this is the problem with some of you, the ones that dated for 7,8,5,6 years then married,are they aliens?? The girl should just pray the man she married loves her unconditionally.you people think marriage is a joke,I am 34 years but still single and it is because of bad experience that made me focus fully on my business. Stop judging people, all of us cannot be the same.

chinchonglee:
D real cause of d depression sef is useless.

Lol . He's a stupid boy!

Young blood,I guess you're still new in d game of life when it come to dating, my girl dump me after 5yrs of successful relationship while in school,she mean everything to me,i almost commit suicide, mine is far worse than yours,but I gather d broken pieces of my life together, I rather convert d emotional heart trauma to my carrier, after making so money, with good job,I came back and married her Best friend,and left a scar in her heart,she (my x)is still still single searching,anytime I post a pic on fbk,she call nd cried,just focus on how u can make it in life with God by ur side, he will give u someone that is ten times better than her. Goodluck

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has ,

Goodluck young blood.

you made so much sense bro... More wisdom to you.

dawnomike:
I've once been in your shoes my brother and i understand how much it hurts... Today I have a wonderful wife and a lovely daughter. Time heals all wounds. Take succour in the fact that you did the right thing. You are not the fool for living right... Focus on success and standing out and the right one will come your way to give peace to your mind. IT'S WELL BRO

^^
Nicely said, especially the bolded.

Shadbay:
I'm just hurt, man. Cut me, I bleed after all I'm human. Lessons learnt. I'm still learning. Thanks

It's okay to feel hurt... Through such hurt you may be fortunate enough to encounter and attain wisdom... I have been in a worse situation that I had to tell another girl that said she loves me to give me love portion so that I can love her back in order for me to forget the heart break... Guess what I later overcame the heartbreak and moved on... That babe that broke my heart came back to me many times but I rejected her continuously...
Let me leave you with these words of wisdom I wrote here on Nairaland some years ago... Read and be wiser in preparation for the future...

https://www.nairaland.com/4189254/words-wisdom-experience-surely-need