₦airaland Forum

Sherlock5577:
I'm not great with advise but I hope this helps.
Sorry bro! I know I cannot quantify your pains with all that is going on right now.
The truth is that the process of getting over it would not just disappear suddenly, you'll have to go through it gradually. Please talk with people who can encourage you properly (like your sisters and mum). I would also advice you cut all ties to your ex now (on all forums). The more you try to reach out to your ex, the more pain you'll cause yourself. I assure you that the night is darkest before dawn. If you believe in God, relay your predicament to him and pray he gives you the grace to weather through it.
I can confidently tell you that you'll get over it if only you persevere. You'll fall in love again (although possibly with some scars). This age grade is one of those trying times which would define who you'd become. Get something which would distract you for a while. It would get better with time.
I know you'll be second guessing your lifelong decisons now. Please don't!! Don't be discouraged. If she couldn't trust you enough to confirm if what she was told is true, then she'd not worthy of you.
Someday the truth of all these would prevail and you'll be triumphant. Just don't let this situation make you a misogynist (I know that tendency is there) or think there's nothing more to life. I believe you'll eventually find someone genuine. Concerning jobs and grad school apps, don't relent. Just get some rest ("Come unto me all ye who labour and are heavy laden and I would give you rest"... Jesus Christ) and then re-fire. You're bright from previous conversations we've had. Some of us have also faced some persecutions like this remember you're not alone!!! You'll rise again!! Don't make any rash decisions at this time till you're more stable.

AlomoReloaded:
Heediot!!!!! Others dey get depressed because money wey we dey expect, no gree land, this pvssy dey get depressed, because woman leave am!!!! You deserve to be flogged!!! Nonsense!!!!!!

LordAdam16:
Had to read through 6 pages to finally find someone who isn't regurgitating the same tired, "make money to keep women" line.

If you're improving yourself, do it for you. If you want to be useless, do it for you. Either way, you'd get p*ssy, the only difference would be the head attached to it.

There are plenty of reasons and innumerable instances where ladies jumped ship or at least broke their partner's trust even though he honored his part of the "provide" deal. It could be self-sabotage, it could be temporary unavailability; heck, it could even be the psychological phenomenon where certain individuals who have everything handed over to them begin to unconsciously resent the provider and want to relate with others who don't provide anything just to maintain a semblance of control.

Moreover, no matter how well off you are, there's always someone richer.

The bottom line, IMHO, is to not tie your happiness to any human being, especially hyper-emotional creatures--they know themselves, no matter how fluttery they make you feel.

I'm very sure the OP did not see a 500k job and declined. No one is happy not being financially set. If people were, the only people who'd commit crimes would be psycho- and sociopaths.

As a guy who's getting himself together in any respect; financially, socially, academically, or whatever; if your lady tells you to beat it because she's found someone better; tell her to go find the biggest d*ldo (or cucumber) she can find and f*ck herself with it until she passes out.

Don't let any privileged skirt who's had a p*ssy pass all her life emasculate you! And when you eventually get yourself together and commit to hustling hard; don't even do it as a revenge or anything. Because she isn't worth it. If she returns back, sends an apology, or so much as tries to reach out at any point in the future; offer to buy and waybill the d*ldo or cucumber yourself.

If you follow the logical train of this make money thought, you'd begin to wonder who'd be with the men who are on minimum wage. The ones evacuating sewers; the ones dredging rivers with baskets; the ones in our transport sector.

In a nutshell, make money, improve yourself, become a better version of yourself; but don't do it for anyone, don't do it to get or keep a woman. Because at the end of the day, no human being is 100% reliable. You inclusive, because there's no guarantee you'll always be well off. Likewise, there's no guarantee she'll stay.

If you take nothing out of this, note this account. Elon Musk told his first wife, "If you were my employee, I'll fire you." This was when he was still at PayPal, wasn't a billionaire yet, but certainly a UHNW individual, had a couple of kids, and his family was completely comfortable.

The wife demanded they go for counseling. He agreed. After one month and 3 sessions with things seeming like there was no headway; he gave the wife an ultimatum. "Either we fix this marriage today, or I will divorce you tomorrow." He filed for divorce the next morning. Today he has an 11-digit net worth, runs 6 companies, outperformed the space program of every nation on planet earth, and built a car company completely against the run of incumbents without running a single ad.

If you believe in yourself, know you're doing your best to improve your lot in life, don't let any myopic tw*t faze you. Appreciate those who stick by you, and tell everyone else who doesn't to F*CK OFF!

You're trekking under the scorching sun, swallowing the BS your Boss is forcing down your throat, avoiding your landlord because you're owed; and the thot you've made sacrifices for is scrolling down her Whatsapp or FB messages hoping for someone else to place her at the front seat of a car. Then she has the temerity to break up because someone better off comes along, block your lines when you try to inquire why, and society is telling you it's your fault. Well, SHE, SOCIETY, AND ANYONE ELSE WHO SUBSCRIBES TO THAT SCHOOL OF THOUGHT SHOULD DEEPTHROAT A BAG OF D*CKS!

-Lord

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

healthserve:
Always on your nerve as how. Whose decision was it?

wristbangle:
If not for the sake of my sisters, mum and some good ladies out there, I would say women deserve to be treated like slaves.

An eye opener to men to remain focus on building their self and net worth. Women is the worst investment a man can ever throw his money on except if she has become his wife and a responsible, business minded one at that.

OP, you have gotten good advice from people here. Time will make you feel better. That I can promise you. Just try pick up your life and become a great dude. You are still young and got great potentials. Don't allow the tide of frustration break your emotion. Get up and take charge bro.

daddytime:
Quit with the whining, victim card playing or patronage seeking young man and get toughened up for your next relationship.

You are still young and haven't seen much of life obviously.

Since you sabi complain like this, you go complain tire for life o.

In life you don't always get what you ordered or wished so be prepared like a boy scout.


Listen to me, girls get repulsed by whining sissies as you...believe me.

All these cry and advertisement over a girl?

Come on man..

Smh..

carter009:
Take heart bro, you better forget about her and move on with your life,, next time don't be too soft,, your friends advised you but u ignored them, now you are regretting everything, the bitter truth is most girls don't like soft and over loyal guys,, once the know you love them and cannot do without them , the will try to control you and later dump your sorry ass, please be careful next time.

frankkydee:
Guy ladies don't do soft guy like u. Someone like u will pamper girls till the girl hate u. U too carry the girl matter for head like gala. It is the lady that need lamentation like this not u. The girl is somewhere now bleeping another man while u want to kill yourself. You are not ripe snitch to handle relationships and girls. Love Don die teytey









Yeah it is, but its based on infidelity with no evidence(s)

dingbang:
that is weakness to me, now learn from Mr. Jeferious's post and don't come preaching to me like some zee world lover.

OgaBuhari:
see this one be like say u never Love girl before and them never break ur tiny heart yet

KushyKush:
I wish I read something like this a while back. God bless you bruh.

Op, if only you know there is no other thing to read apart from this comment.

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

OgaBuhari:
God you are a blessing to this generation.
thumbs up bro.

OgaBuhari:
my guy after reading that dude's comment i was speechless.
gosh some people are just so special

OgaBuhari:
see this one be like say u never Love girl before and them never break ur tiny heart yet

Aliii:
she want me to be bleeping her still, I know her plans she wanna tie me down with a baby and then destroy my home I can't take in for that fall.

bonnyhope:
just sit down and think about the bolded

luvyaself95:
You waste almost 5 million on that bitch...
you must be politician son...

sirblend:
Bros! I read your post.. It was quite emotional. I need help from you sir..
***not financial help**

Lastlook:
More than that ooo.... Politician ke... Just a normal simple guy. Can't even say we are average.... But God has the way of doing things sha

luv336:
Young blood,I guess you're still new in d game of life when it come to dating, my girl dump me after 5yrs of successful relationship while in school,she mean everything to me,i almost commit suicide, mine is far worse than yours,but I gather d broken pieces of my life together, I rather convert d emotional heart trauma to my carrier, after making so money, with good job,I came back and married her Best friend,and left a scar in her heart,she (my x)is still still single searching,anytime I post a pic on fbk,she call nd cried,just focus on how u can make it in life with God by ur side, he will give u someone that is ten times better than her. Goodluck

jaxxy:
Theres a simple proverb I think which says “don’t cry over spilled milk.” Hope for the best bt If it happens, it happens just move on as swift as you can. Crying won’t solve such issues only corrective actions can.

Its hard to not feel hurt and resentment bt to be honest, u have to feel the pain to truely heal bt don’t feel the pain immediately give urself smtime to adjust ur emotions and feelings probably 1 to 3months then u can deal with the pain for true healing from that situation so u Don’t end up a ruthless bt a better and wiser version of ur self.

The lesson and truth is that it’s not only men that cheat or are ruthless in love it’s everybody tho most are not intentional bt due to poor handling of the situation so better careful.

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

OgbeniSamm:
You're such an intelligent human being. Drop me your email address please.

OgaBuhari:
see this one be like say u never Love girl before and them never break ur tiny heart yet

vivavik:
Take this from a lady who has seen and understands life, good things fly away so that the best will come in, never ever do "payback" or transfer agression, cos it might bounce back in a hard way.
Never listen to evil counsel cos u might Dig your own grave thru it.
Work hard and focus all your energy to been successful.
Don't rush into any relationship just yet, this method won't help u.
Above all, pray and be closer to God now than ever before, I know peace will find you with the best things in life.
Live, love and laugh, this is life!!!

jiboladhino:
My girl broke up with me after 6years and even up till now I am still in denial, I can't tell my friends or family she broke up with me because I once fought my entire family for her, I can't bare the shame, she claims she broke up with me because my love for her was more than what she feels for me, till now I have swore never to have anything to do with women again, she was y first and only girlfriend ever, the only girl I have ever had sex with

Shadbay:
I've been in extreme emotional pains for the past few months. I don't even know where to start to narrate my ordeal. I do not want this experience to damage me emotionally and psychologically, that's why I'm seeking help. Please pardon the length and blunders.

Earlier this year, just two weeks after my birthday, my ex-gf (gf of almost 7 years) broke up with me. I had just visited her and left two days prior to the breakup.
I went through the most challenging period of my life because I just suffered some job and graduate school rejections that period. The breakup worsened my situation and pushed me into a depression. I have never felt defeated in life till that point. She blocked me on all mediums of communication. It was too extreme. I went from 91kg to 85 kg in less than 3 weeks.

I visited her to understand the whole situation cos her behaviour was too extreme and I got a toxic dosage of embarrassments. She said she was done with me. She said a lot of hurtful things to me. The height of the embarrassments was calling her new boyfriend (barely 3 weeks after breaking up with me) right in front of me and telling him she doesn't know what I'm doing in her place. She even called some of her friends to inform them of my presence. They all sounded scared and concerned for her as if I was some kind of predator. They told her to leave her place at once and come to their place. All these calls were on speaker! This is someone I invested all these years and emotions for. I went through hell that period cos I was dealing with some other personal tribulations.

I can't imagine treating her or anybody else the way she treated me. I NEVER cheated on her, NOT ONCE or by chance! I have walked away from compromising situation countless times because I placed her so high. I had so much respect for her. She now went on to slander my name, accusing me of cheating!!! When I asked who was feeding her all those lies, she said her friends told her. How? Did I date you or your friends? It still boggles my mind to think she'll believe them and go about spreading those ugly rumours about me.

The straw that broke the camels back was when a friend of mine told me that she said she's grateful to God she didn't contract any infection/disease from me! I couldn't believe my ears. I broke down. This didn't just break my heart, it shattered my spirit. This is someone I imagined spending the rest of my life with. My whole family (even extended) accepted her as one of us.

I had to accept that things were beyond salvaging because any attempt from me to fix things kept doing the opposite. The minute it involved my sisters I had to accept defeat.

I never harmed her or attempt to lay a finger on her. I might not be perfect but I gave it my all. The situation is far worse than I described it here, it's even painful remembering them. I loved her to a fault.

I got a text from her about a month ago after I refused to answer her calls because I had just lost a loved one. She said she's getting married and hopes I find peace as she has found hers. I stared at those words speechless. The worst set of people one could ever encounter are those that hurt you, know that they hurt you and still turn around to play victim accusing you of hurting them. If there's anything I'm proud of is my level of self-control. I know few of my friends who made fun of me being extremely loyal to one girl, warning me severally that I'm wasting my time and good looks, that my youth is passing me by. At least I have a clean conscience that I never betrayed her trust. I never went about telling other people our business. Now I understand why they say good guys always finish last.


Women don't deserve loyalty, forget all their cliche that men are not faithful and honest. I went the faithful, loyal path what did I get in return? Venom! I feel repulsed when I hear women say "Men are dogs", "Men always cheat".

I just don't want this experience to turn me into something I'm not or make me an embittered soul. I'm traumatized beyond words. This was my first and only relationship and I gave it everything. I'm in my mid-twenties and I don't think I can ever love genuinely again. I need mature advice on how to come out of this ordeal a better person. I don't want to transfer any aggressions or micro-aggressions on anybody because of this experience. Please mature advice needed. Thank you.