theButterfly:
You did the right thing for yourself and your children, OP. I commend you for leaving. Many women stay and "endure" abuse at the hands of their husbands and unfortunately by the time they leave it is too late b/c they end up doing so in a body bag.



The fact that there are children involved, witnessing their mother being beaten daily by their father to the extent of leaving her in a pool of blood is even more reason for her to leave. Even if there were no kids in the picture, no woman should tolerate physical violence and continue enduring such treatment.

donbachi:
she should 4give him.

Mekenz:
you're talking as if you have not been with a woman, some of them their mouth is so sharp like a razor blade, at least she didn't say that her husband is a drunk, because is majority of them that doesn't behave rational especially when they are intoxicated. I keep saying these,marriage is not easy,it takes so much of patience, endurance and forgiveness to make a successful marriage. you can go and ask your mom what she past through at some points in her own marriage .

Mekenz:
you're talking as if you have not been with a woman, some of them their mouth is so sharp like a razor blade, at least she didn't say that her husband is a drunk, because is majority of them that doesn't behave rational especially when they are intoxicated. I keep saying these,marriage is not easy,it takes so much of patience, endurance and forgiveness to make a successful marriage. you can go and ask your mom what she past through at some points in her own marriage.

funmisticqueen:
Didn't you see the part where he said he doesn't provide?

Foolish people everywhere

Dhinmmar:

I'm tired of NL
Endure maybe till she dies and he'll marry another.
Nawa

HarunaWest:
have you guys bothered to ask what men pass through?

Dhinmmar:

Is left for the man passing through whatever to speak ouy

Dhinmmar:

I'm tired of NL
Endure maybe till she dies and he'll marry another.
Nawa

SirVintageCock:
Must we always ask the women? How about asking our fathers how they treated their wives? A question most of them would be too ashamed to answer.
Glorying in abuse as if it is a trophy always jarr my brain to a convulsive state. So abusers should be encouraged because our mothers were abused too and they endured?? What is the point of ......... .

Mekenz:
are you trying to tell me that, the woman will be on her own and the man will just come and start beating her for no just reason? is it not from series of quarrels and arguments that results in fighting? why can't she try as much as she could to avoid that kind of situation, at least for the sake of her children, she knows her husband better, maybe he is a wife beater. in that case she should avoid any serious quarrels and arguments with her husband. imaging a situation where the husband throws an insulting word's at her, and she replied.... God bless you..... at least for peace to reign.


n.b it take's two to quarrel and vice vasa.

HarunaWest:

not so easy ooh my dear.. Men like to show attitude rather than speak,they believe a message can be passed easier through that medium while women. prefer to speak...

Mekenz:
I'm not advocating violence in a marriage, my points is that some women can push their men to the wall,to the point of you laying hands on them. I have some of them around.

Mekenz:
you're talking as if you have not been with a woman, some of them their mouth is so sharp like a razor blade, at least she didn't say that her husband is a drunk, because is majority of them that doesn't behave rational especially when they are intoxicated. I keep saying these,marriage is not easy,it takes so much of patience, endurance and forgiveness to make a successful marriage. you can go and ask your mom what she past through at some points in her own marriage.

Mekenz:
I'm not advocating violence in a marriage, my points is that some women can push their men to the wall,to the point of you laying hands on them. I have some of them around.

Mekenz:
stop been too emotional jooor, so the husband will just come out from no where and start beating his wife?though i'm not justifying his action , but it take's two to tango (fight).

Crieff:


Quite unfortunate that you're surrounded by such poor examples, I'm surrounded by couples who enjoy their marriages without ever resorting to physical violence. Your outlook on OP's post is very very unwholesome.

liberalchick:
So what kind of quality of life is that? Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary and your safe space. How can you be in your house and you can’t talk? You risk hot slap if you open your mouth? Is that one life?

Couples quarrel every time, a marriage is broken if you can’t have healthy arguments without the fear of being physically battered.

Ineedyouradvise:
Good day nairalanders, I had to use a new moniker.
I was married for 5years, blessed with 2 children, we dated for 1year before we got married. At a point in the marriage, domestic violence became a regular occ
Was I wrong to have left?
What necessary actions do you think I can take for him to be involved in his children's life?

N.B: both families have been involved in settling issues resulting from domestic violence severally.
He grew up with his father as his parents were separated due to some issues, leaving him and his siblings while he was barely 2years old due.

I need matured advice please.

Ineedyouradvise:
Good day nairalanders, I had to use a new moniker.
I was married for 5years, blessed with 2 children, we dated for 1year before we got married. At a point in the marriage, domestic violence became a regular occurrence, after which he would apologize. I wouldn't say I noticed this aspect of him while dating. Of course I know I'm not perfect, but I tried my best to be the best wife to him and mother to the children.

To the main issue, there were a lot of issues that made me leave his house, he wasn't providing for his home, he works and earn well, so money wasn't his problem, I work also so I wasn't totally depending on him for everything, he hardly wants to have sex with me, I am neat as well, keeps late night, and he hits me severally. I left his house with my kids, after he hit me and left me in a pool of blood, this happened about 4months ago, but till now he hasn't called to find out about our whereabouts or to even know why I left.

I loved him so much that I endured a lot of things, but things kept getting worse,i had to leave. It's 4 months I left but only his elder brother has called once to find out what happened.
I am actually surprised he can stay this long without thinking about where his family are, probably that was what he wanted.
I never wished for my children to experience this, they keep asking me where's daddy?

Was I wrong to have left?
What necessary actions do you think I can take for him to be involved in his children's life?

N.B: both families have been involved in settling issues resulting from domestic violence severally.
He grew up with his father as his parents were separated due to some issues, leaving him and his siblings while he was barely 2years old due.

I need matured advice please.

donbachi:
if u love him go back and work things out with him.considering the kids.

liberalchick:
OP, it’s normal to second guess yourself after a major decision. No matter how bad a marriage is, divorce or separation, while liberating in some situations is a very hard choice to make.

Based on what you wrote, you didn’t make a mistake. Domestic violence isn’t something you want to endure in a marriage, or you want to expose your children to. The human psyche is amazing, we are able to dull our traumatic experiences so we can heal. You have been away for four months, your experiences are beginning to dull, you are yearning for something that isn’t there. If you go back, within a month you will remember why you left in the first place.

Your husband has already checked out of the marriage, it’s time you do the same. It’s going to be very hard, but you have to try for yourself and your children. Going back when he hasn’t shown any remorse will be a disaster, nothing would have changed and you would have deleted any incentives for him to change.

Ineedyouradvise:
Good day nairalanders, I had to use a new moniker.
I was married for 5years, blessed with 2 children, we dated for 1year before we got married. At a point in the marriage, domestic violence became a regular occurrence, after which he would apologize. I wouldn't say I noticed this aspect of him while dating. Of course I know I'm not perfect, but I tried my best to be the best wife to him and mother to the children.

To the main issue, there were a lot of issues that made me leave his house, he wasn't providing for his home, he works and earn well, so money wasn't his problem, I work also so I wasn't totally depending on him for everything, he hardly wants to have sex with me, I am neat as well, keeps late night, and he hits me severally. I left his house with my kids, after he hit me and left me in a pool of blood, this happened about 4months ago, but till now he hasn't called to find out about our whereabouts or to even know why I left.

I loved him so much that I endured a lot of things, but things kept getting worse,i had to leave. It's 4 months I left but only his elder brother has called once to find out what happened.
I am actually surprised he can stay this long without thinking about where his family are, probably that was what he wanted.
I never wished for my children to experience this, they keep asking me where's daddy?

Was I wrong to have left?
What necessary actions do you think I can take for him to be involved in his children's life?

N.B: both families have been involved in settling issues resulting from domestic violence severally.
He grew up with his father as his parents were separated due to some issues, leaving him and his siblings while he was barely 2years old due.

I need matured advice please.

Mekenz:
are you trying to tell me that, the woman will be on her own and the man will just come and start beating her for no just reason? is it not from series of quarrels and arguments that results in fighting? why can't she try as much as she could to avoid that kind of situation, at least for the sake of her children, she knows her husband better, maybe he is a wife beater. in that case she should avoid any serious quarrels and arguments with her husband. imaging a situation where the husband throws an insulting word's at her, and she replied.... God bless you..... at least for peace to reign.


n.b it take's two to quarrel and vice vasa.