₦airaland Forum

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

MissJoy29:
No need stressing yourself sir. She's no longer into you.

ststyreal:
Yeah you are right, you know.... God will help us

maak400:
You and @healthserve should just have a date already joor

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.



Don't send her money any longer, Don't call her again,act like you don't care,and if you can, don't go for the meeting scheduled by her parents.
She is not doing you a favor by going out with you, don't make that mistake of going ahead with that marriage,if you do,you will regret the day you take that decision.
Just dust yourself up,I believe there is woman out there for you who will value you,God just want to deliver you from a family of an ingrate,heed that call nowwwwwwwwwwee

Thanks

healthserve iepost=82474522:
Another ladies palaver. After you ladies will start saying guys pointing out ladies wrongs are fault finding, Aweleawkaetiti MissJoy29. Come and keep defending your sisters needlessly


Go and give thanksgiving and end it Op. She doesn't love you and hasnt grown up. Is easily influenced by outside sources, hence may not be loyal for the long term and can be easily swayed. That's assuming all you said is true and she is guilty of all you wrote. Cause it takes two to tango


Thank God its early.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

CodeXI:
When you married her they said everything should be between both of you but now its in the public by you has she taken hers to the public as well ? if not both of you in the presence of both parents should amicably settle it.

olabrinks:
She is not interested in the marriage, and if you marry her by force you will be entering a life time of misery and a constant battle to prove yourself to her. Better get out now before it’s too late. It’s that simple.

I don’t know why men are always fighting for women that don’t want them. They’re millions of single available women go and look for them and leave this small girl alone.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

MYDEBBY:
Situation report house,the mum of my wife called me that why am I not sending the school fees of my daughter as my wife have told her,I replied by saying I will change my daughters school or probably transfer the money to the school account directly.She said OK. Meanwhile the meeting for this weekend scheduled between i, herself and her parents. her mum pleaded with me to go and carry them with my car down to the villa.But initially my wife said I should go on my own but now her mum said I should bring them along.Should I adhere knowing fully well my wife said she has no business with me again.

Mynd 44
Obinoscopy
Lalasticlala

Pls do the needful,thanks.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

abbey621:
Sorry you made a few good points in the beginning but some of your other points are just plain wrong! Everyone knows that the parent with the most custody of the child has the most influence on the child. A father's primary responsibility is survival, making sure they have shelter, food and other basic ammenities. If in the path of providing these things he's forced to work 80 to 100 hours per week, he's forced to do some hustle on the side. Tell me how would he have time to be soap opera dad you clearly stated above? Before calling someone a bad parent, let's try to understand their circumstance, especially in Nigeria where the lack of money is more shameful than being an alcoholic. If attention without money equaled being a great parent then deadbeat dads would always have hope

MYDEBBY:
Didn't you read my facts why will she be intensely bored when I have paid her dowry as my wife.I have sat her one on one even at midnight to let her adjust her ways since the traditional rites this year and waiting for the white.I did said that I noticed her with bad influence including male and female.so why do you think she is not cheating on me,must I leave my work and be with her in school 24hrs before I will know she is not cheating on me? I think that all that happened is the handiwork of God.

ststyreal:
I am telling you. This love of a thing is so confusing. Let him neutraluse his mind but na wa for some ladies oooooo, after carrying out the traditional rite, it now dawn on her that she is no longer interested.... Well, they say a broken courtship is better than a misery marriage...

baby124:
Hmmm.... how old is she? I would be highly irritated too if someone was policing my life, reporting every move to my parents and generally more obnoxious than usual just after the traditional marriage.

Don’t forget, you are both married traditionally now. It’s you who decided to go for someone who was young for relationship and marriage, I am sure you must have also thought to figure out how to deal with any surprising behavior. You also need to be careful about this jealousy you hold in your heart. What if that guy is a school friend? Yes, she obviously confides in him because you have shown that you have an unstable character. It may just be a simple friendship. Because she went outside to talk to him, you have concluded that they are sleeping together. If she talked to him in your presence, you would have also taken offense.

Well I think you need to give this relationship time before concluding the court wedding. I think you need to step back and reassess your reason for marrying a lady who you cannot trust or refuse to trust. Try to examine why you have trust issues and control issues. You also need to grow up and stop reporting all over the place. Just as she’s trying to forgive you and reconcile, you go on a reporting spree. Whew!

pocohantas:
I don't know why I have a feeling you are one very humble guy, the type who isn't very adventurous, missionary style kinda guy...

Don't even force her. Difficult to do, but that is the best thing for your long term sanity. If not, she will keep making it obvious by her words that she never wanted you.

Recently a NLder was here to report himself after telling his wife she wasn't his first choice. That might be you in few years time, only that you will be at the receiving end.

You see all these girls that their eyes are up? Once they start wearing some kind clothe and experiencing city-girls life, marriage no dey their mind o. Let alone marriage to some homely dude. She will convince herself there is still time and there is better out there.

She might only remember you (or your type) when she is retiring. Pele

Solatium:
Don't send her money any longer, Don't call her again,act like you don't care,and if you can, don't go for the meeting scheduled by her parents.
She is not doing you a favor by going out with you, don't make that mistake of going ahead with that marriage,if you do,you will regret the day you take that decision.
Just dust yourself up,I believe there is woman out there for you who will value you,God just want to deliver you from a family of an ingrate,heed that call nowwwwwwwwwwee