₦airaland Forum

maxiuc:
No insult but let me insult you small

You be mumu

Dem never tell you sey you be mumu

Don't go back to that her don't allow her parents to sweet mouth you oooooo

Her parents knows exactly what they are selling to you,

Retreat op bad market I repeat bad market

Maxiuc you speak like a Prophet,her Parents are aware that's why the dad gets furious at her so that she will not spoil market for them before I finally tie the knot at my own peril.I don retreat already,am only going for the meeting for the sake of my little girl whom I love so much cos she doesn't joke with me too.

olabrinks:
She is not interested in the marriage, and if you marry her by force you will be entering a life time of misery and a constant battle to prove yourself to her. Better get out now before it’s too late. It’s that simple.

I don’t know why men are always fighting for women that don’t want them. They’re millions of single available women go and look for them and leave this small girl alone.

GOD bless you.

MYDEBBY:
Maxiuc you speak like a Prophet,her Parents are aware that's why the dad gets furious at her so that she will not spoil market for them before I finally tie the knot at my own peril.I don retreat already,am only going for the meeting for the sake of my little girl whom I love so much cos she doesn't joke with me too.

Try to resolve issues with your WIFE after this meeting PRIVATELY. Sit down with her and keep quiet till she tells you all on her mind, then you both agree on a solution. If she still insists she doesn’t want to marry then fine. I don’t think she wants the marriage to crash so be guided.

Don’t let these small boys destroy your home. Try to figure it out. Yoruba say it’s with plenty patience person dey use to become husband. Learn to work things out and listen to her side before taking action. I am sure you have also offended her many times too. Stop reporting every single thing, women do not like that!

Plus now that you are going to a new meeting, bringing brother in laws, sister in laws into the mix. You are setting your marriage up for future issues because your brother and sister will use these allegations against her even if not true, right through marriage and long after you are gone. Most of the people here don’t come from homes where the parents are together so they will advise you rubbish.

ACE1010:
My guy you get better sense jooor... I salute your courage
This is for you!!!!

We must have the ability to walk away from toxic relationships

ACE1010:
It's really sucks... My people the same thing is happening to me too.. The one you love will frustrate your life, while the ones you don't have any feelings for are ready to make sacrifice for you.. One is even ready to quit her job just to prove her love... Shoooooo :[ :[
This life is full of mystery

Its because people don't prayerfully choose spouses.

Abeg keep your foolish mouth shut. Show the rubbish you advised to members of your family n let them tell you how foolish n pathetic your reasoning is.

akinade28:
bros, I know you think you have sense but you should have proven you had sense by giving the OP your advise and opinion without quoting or insulting me like everyone else did.
If you had comprehended what I wrote you will see where I said the Op should forget about the lady and look for a way to take care of his daughter if she doesn't reconcile.
We dont all think the same way, we view situations from different angle, I gave two different viewpoints
By the way, the OP only told one side of the story and talked about him making mistakes in the past. You don't know the lady's side of the story or how grievous the Op mistake might be.

nogragra:
I know you've expended a lot (financial, time, energy...what have you) into this relationship. Trust me, this is to your advantage that you need to move on. Next time you're looking for a wife, approach the Almighty God in prayer first before you take any step as that is the only way you can never go wrong. God always give a woman this inordinate behaviour if they are not meant for you so that you can see and be wise. My five cents.

Thanks I receive your five cent.

Be rest assured that when you guys go to meet her parents, they will support their own and find some sooting words to console you with..I will advise you not to worry over her,consider it all a bad investment and move on.otherwise, you will just be struggling to win her over and she will leverage on that.The worst place to be,is to be at someone's mercy..That is how she will see it,That you are at her mercy.you have to man up,move on..ladies are like shadows,the more you chase them,the more they walk away,and if she is yours,she will find a way to come back.But for now,move on.for the sake of your own sanity and peace of mind.And when she comes up with the whole reassurance words like,you guys can still be friends, Don't settle for that..that won't be good for your mental health.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

you are not a man and you have lost her...?Even at 50Years u can still marry but even at 45 years she can hardly Marry...I hate men that worship women....From ur story Oga u no go school thats why u dey mumu.....

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

Tell me the truth. You are a male.

pocohantas:
I wonder how you ever thought millions and billions of a specie can reason same way. Wonderful!

Honestly i hate anything female. Too self-centered and I don't even want to have anything with them

tbaba84:
Hmmm, i really felt for you sha cos its always difficult to just say bye bye for someone you love so much, same thing is happening in marriage right now, i got married 2yrs ago, but since last yr my marriage has been so terrible to an extent the 2 families must meet to discuss on our matter.What is causing the problem is something both of us can iron out between ourselves.How on earth will i have a wife that i will not be able to sleep with any time i want sex,my wife hardly give me sex, she hardly cook for me any time she comes back from work, i cant torch her boobs, i cant kiss her, she hardly sweep the house during the week, except weekend, i do go to the market myself, even if i come back she will tell me she cant cook sometimes i will be the one to cook the soup,she doesnt wash my clothes, some times she will use plates in the kitchen and leave it in the sink and go to work, on weeked's she will sleep till 10oclock and when ever she wakes up instead of her to go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast,what she will do next is to pack her clothes and my baby clothes and begin wash.if i ask her baby what are we eating in this morning , she will reply me by saying she doesnt know.i have been begging my wife for sex for the past one week now but she is depriving me of it.but i did one thing which i later regretted. when my body can no longer hold it any more i raised my hands on her and beat her.But what her family stand on now is that they dont beat a woman from their place and i have reported this issue to them severally.but my question now is, My wife has requested for divorce now and which the dad is also in support because my wife is the bread winner of her family,the father said he will call my uncle to know when we will sit down to discuss when she will come and pack her loads, should allow her to pack her loads or we should not even go for the meeting. And again i asked her to send me her account no so that i can send her some change to use to buy food and provision for my baby,what she said what that Mr man if you know this money you are sending to me will make me come back to that house,it will never work out ooo.she did not send the account no.but last week she sent a msg to me telling me she has paid for my daughter school fee but remaining 10k to balance it up.that was when she now sent me the account no.please house should i send it to her, please advice me.Almost everyone have begged her to come back home that she is even the one at fault but she insisted that she is no more coming bk to my house that i should go and marry another wife that will tolorate me.please i also need an advise on what to do. And again is it my right to pay my daughter school fee cos i am not the one that enrolled her in school and i am not the one that sent her mother packing.

You need to complete the payment, your daughter is innocent of your troubles with her mother.

I'm not gonna advise you on your marital troubles but I recommend you seek a professional advice from a religion leader or family leader.

healthserve:
Which brings us to the point that[b] if a lady can be influenced by external party, she's immature for marriage.[/b]


A guy did that to my princess this year and she assumed all she learnt was correct. Finally the guy starts having sex with her as intimacy grew out of their negative alliance. She has recently learnt that I wasn't broke but living coded while the guy influencing her was eating her money and sexing for free. She was influenced from the outside, like eve, like my princess.

I move on jejely without creating thread. Mi o ra ye oshi

Thank you for your wisdom........ I really appreciate this piece.

however, please dont die over pusssy just go get anoda one.

ricki:
Thank you for your wisdom........ I really appreciate this piece.

however, please dont die over pusssy just go get anoda one.

Nah. I prayed and watched. It was hurtful. It was like breaking my own heart cause we were very tight close. In fact till now, I still have those feelings. But what's not right shouldn't be managed. Marriage isn't sustained by fleeting feelings.

Chigold101:
if the traditional rite has been done fully, then it's not a courtship anymore. They are married.
What they are talking about now is divorce.


Anyway, I think the op should give the girl a little space. He should allow her to enjoy whichever dị.ck she is enjoying now... Soon she go borrow sense.

I pray God gives the Op the heart to carry on

Hmmmm

All will be well.

May God help you out

MYDEBBY:
Thanks brotherly to all your contributions so far I am learning from them.

Don't tell me her name is Debby..


Dude

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

Sorry to say this:a woman is supposedly your wife turning you to a common man on the street.
Oga, the truth be say you are not a husband you are just a father.
There is difference between a wife and girl friend.
Their roles are well defined.
If you do not know what to do then you might not be far from being a cuckold.

emmaodet:
Ooohhhhjj
Sista Poco
I always enjoy your contributions but men don't like afternoon newspapers tbh.
There is nothing as sweet as marrying a lady btwn 22-25yrs but it as it's consequence

Which men do you mean unku?

Jennifer Lopez is 50 with two kids and three ex husbands yet her fiancé just threw her a lavish party and bought a mad ride.

As long as a woman continues with her passion , remains sexy and continues to be feminine she will get men even younger than her.

UIA04:
Which men do you mean unku?

Jennifer Lopez is 50 with two kids and three ex husbands yet her fiancé just threw her a lavish party and bought a mad ride.

As long as a woman continues with her passion , remains sexy and continues to be feminine she will get men even younger than her.

Lol in your dreams not in Nigeria. Please list 3 Nigerian women in their 50's that got married to younger men (30's). I will wait. Gigolo Naija men that will drain you . Kate Henshaw, Rita Dominique with all the beauty no level.

BiggyB242:
Lol in your dreams not in Nigeria. Please list 3 Nigerian women in their 50's that got married to younger men (30's). I will wait. Gigolo Naija men that will drain you . Kate Henshaw, Rita Dominique with all the beauty no level.

Wicked guy

healthserve:
Wicked guy

She thinks we are in the US, whose parent would let her son(30's) get married a naija woman in her 50's. Your mama go cry everyday for your head and papa go disown you. Good shape ni, except you are a white woman obviously for the green card and oga go still get one naija young babe.

healthserve:
Another ladies palaver. After you ladies will start saying guys pointing out ladies wrongs are fault finding, Aweleawkaetiti MissJoy29. Come and keep defending your sisters needlessly


Go and give thanksgiving and end it Op. She doesn't love you and hasnt grown up. Is easily influenced by outside sources, hence may not be loyal for the long term and can be easily swayed. That's assuming all you said is true and she is guilty of all you wrote. Cause it takes two to tango


Thank God its early.

Just forget about her

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recent poor dressing to her parents after cautioning her she will channel the grievances to me.

The recent one made her so angry that she started recanting all my past mistakes which she and her family are aware of and have resolved since now using it as an excuse against me that she is no longer interested.

She kept mute for over two weeks due to anger yet I still transferred money twice to her but up till now she did not acknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out after the guy I asked a relation who was there who was the guy and he said he is my wife's friend, I quickly followed them on citing me the guy diverted after their discussion about me.

When we then entered the house I asked her who was the guy and she said that's not my business. I kept quiet.

After a while I called her parents to tell them the situation of things that their daughter said she is no longer interested they now asked us to come down to the village to see them this coming weekend.

I know things are not alright somewhere and as such I need straight forward advice on what to do.

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

If have lost a woman's heart, you have lost her. My candid advice bro. Just move on, she is only seeing a black spot on a gem. There is someone out there that Will see only the gem. Wish her well and move on. Don't look back cos she will come in later as a distraction. Thank me later.

pocohantas:
The word CONTROL makes me cringe and I would never understand the Nigerian man's obsession with controlling a full grown human, even to the extent of deluding himself into thinking there is ALWAYS a man controlling a woman.

The highest I can give you is love and respect. If you want to control, go buy a dog. Or get a small girl like this OP did, while hoping she doesn't open eye.

Do you have a way forward? At the end of the day, she'll be the one to lose out (Read Psalms 15:4c). Apostle Paul advised Christians to marry only after they have passed the Bloom of Youth (1 Corinthians 7:36) You can see why. She hadn't passed it and now it is wreaking havoc. It is however too late for her to salvage it. It will just lead to the dissolution of her marriage.

Human wisdom many a times, actually leads us astray (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25)

Don’t mind them - they want to hoe but will be looking for small girls who haven’t gone through their hoe phase ! Then when her eyes start chuking everywhere they will be shocked - lol

pocohantas:
The earlier you guys understand that not so many undergraduate girls are very pro-marriage, the better for you. Once you spot that one who is very much interested in the fast life, pull the plug immediately.

Her parents told you both to come to the VILLAGE? You think if her parents had enough to be giving her, she would bother herself with you?

It is painful my dear, but your wife is in her hoe-phase. Some skip that phase, some spend few years in it, some stay a decade there- even do spillover.

You need to have some self-respect. A grown ass man following two fcking undergraduates to hear their conversation?

You guys don't hear word. You remind me of my colleague and that tin-tomatoes-headed girl he was pursuing. One small 200l girl. The way the girl did his heart ehn, she passed it through shredder.

Go find one afternoon newspaper that has her life figured out. Someone that will bring in tangible and intangible resources to the relationship. That way when she wants to throw it all away, she would think of how it would hit her own balance sheet.

Imagine evening newspaper not liking afternoon newspaper ? Lol

emmaodet:
Ooohhhhjj
Sista Poco
I always enjoy your contributions but men don't like afternoon newspapers tbh.
There is nothing as sweet as marrying a lady btwn 22-25yrs but it as it's consequence

That point if reporting can piss me off! Can't you two just sit down and iron out issues and settle yourself without 3rd parties. I hate it with passion.

You did not tell us that past mistake you did, are you sure she has forgiven you totally?

From your write up I guess you guys met before her admission, she must have seen nice guys out there compared to you. Even guys do it when they get admission the one they had before school is rejected/abandoned.

Maybe she is just carried about by youthful lifestyle telling herself there is still time for enjoyment. Or bad influence from campus friends.

Sit her down and have a heart to heart talk let her tell you the reasons for her actions, go easy with her and promise to make amends where necessary.

It's either she has found another nice guy or she wants to enjoy life small.

MYDEBBY:
Dear Nairalanders, I greet you all.

Pls I need candid advice, I have dated my wife for over six years without an issue and now that we have done traditional rites and about to climax with white wedding she is giving flimsy excuses that she is no longer interested in me.

She is currently in final year and has drastically changed in her dressing and attitude towards due to influence of friends in school.

Often I do report incidences of her recenacknowledged it, only for her to send text that she need money for our daughters school fees. I then decide to visit them off campus where they stay yesterday with lots of provision yet she could not say a common thank you.

While I was still making peace with her asking her to forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to her by reporting her to her PARENTS, promising not to do so again, a guy knocked the door and she went out a

Pls no insult just help out.

Thanks

Sorry my reply to you just came late.

There are two type of men.
1)Alpha men.
2) Beta men.

You fall under the beta men.

Beta(weak) men are men that beg women (girlfriend), even when their are wrong.

Alpha(real) men don't beg any women; they just move on with the life.

No women is worth dying for.

Now for your girlfriend (so call future wife), I will advice u to move on with your life. A who.re is a who're, even in marriage and
inside marriage.

Have you done a DNA test, that you are the truth father of that girl(ur daughter); if not, I will advice you to.
When the result of the DNA test come out and you are truly the biological father of the girl, turn all your attention on her, by taking good care of her,eg. Paying her school fees, feeding, buying new cloth for her.

Pls I beg you, stop sending money to that who..re you call a wife, she is already cheating on you with that guy you saw when you came visiting, and many other guys you don't know off.

Sir, your health matter the most. Go and search a new gal for marriage, after you are done with your DNA test on your daughter.

Never get any women with money, get them with how you talk and behave.

Go for working class women or you get a provision shop/hair salon for your new girlfriend.

Don't marry a jobless girl, go for good character, to hell with love because it blind.

phemy36:
Honestly i hate anything female. Too self-centered and I don't even want to have anything with them

. Who is this night fowl?

healthserve:
Which brings us to the point that if a lady can be influenced by external party, she's immature for marriage.


A guy did that to my princess this year and she assumed all she learnt was correct. Finally the guy starts having sex with her as intimacy grew out of their negative alliance. She has recently learnt that I wasn't broke but living coded while the guy influencing her was eating her money and sexing for free. She was influenced from the outside, like eve, like my princess.

I move on jejely without creating thread. Mi o ra ye oshi

Poster abeg fellow this guy advise.

Need one.

Me non dey waste time with any woman any.

tbaba84:
Hmmm, i really felt for you sha cos its always difficult to just say bye bye for someone you love so much, same thing is happening in marriage right now, i got married 2yrs ago, but since last yr my marriage has been so terrible to an extent the 2 families must meet to discuss on our matter.What is causing the problem is something both of us can iron out between ourselves.How on earth will i have a wife that i will not be able to sleep with any time i want sex,my wife hardly give me sex, she hardly cook for me any time she comes back from work, i cant torch her boobs, i cant kiss her, she hardly sweep the house during the week, except weekend, i do go to the market myself, even if i come back she will tell me she cant cook sometimes i will be the one to cook the soup,she doesnt wash my clothes, some times she will use plates in the kitchen and leave it in the sink and go to work, on weeked's she will sleep till 10oclock and when ever she wakes up instead of her to go to the kitchen to prepare breakfast,what she will do next is to pack her clothes and my baby clothes and begin wash.if i ask her baby what are we eating in this morning , she will reply me by saying she doesnt know.i have been begging my wife for sex for the past one week now but she is depriving me of it.but i did one thing which i later regretted. when my body can no longer hold it any more i raised my hands on her and beat her.But what her family stand on now is that they dont beat a woman from their place and i have reported this issue to them severally.but my question now is, My wife has requested for divorce now and which the dad is also in support because my wife is the bread winner of her family,the father said he will call my uncle to know when we will sit down to discuss when she will come and pack her loads, should allow her to pack her loads or we should not even go for the meeting. And again i asked her to send me her account no so that i can send her some change to use to buy food and provision for my baby,what she said what that Mr man if you know this money you are sending to me will make me come back to that house,it will never work out ooo.she did not send the account no.but last week she sent a msg to me telling me she has paid for my daughter school fee but remaining 10k to balance it up.that was when she now sent me the account no.please house should i send it to her, please advice me.Almost everyone have begged her to come back home that she is even the one at fault but she insisted that she is no more coming bk to my house that i should go and marry another wife that will tolorate me.please i also need an advise on what to do. And again is it my right to pay my daughter school fee cos i am not the one that enrolled her in school and i am not the one that sent her mother packing.

Wahala
Trouble
Nsogbu uwa

I truly feel for you. Chei
You married a mean woman without any feelings for you.
Didn't you see signs during courtship?
I don't even know what to tell you
But may God comfort you, give you the wisdom to overcome this trial and wipe away your tears.

It is well with you bro