₦airaland Forum

wrongnumber:
Honestly I can't argue with you regarding how you comprehend his write up but it is all about perspective.

Ladies get emotional anytime they read about men cheating but it is so unfortunate that it is the reality of life and only a realist will understand this which I guess is who toks is.

My sister, talk from now till tomorrow, vex all the vex in the world and infact write and preach against unfaithfullness and you will be amazed that it will be effort in futility.

Who fights nature? Same way you can't win this battle so learn to cope. This is a bitter pill to swallow but please start learning how to cope with the bitterness cos it will help you in this wicked world of men.

This matter don tire me to discuss abeg.

wrongnumber:
Honestly I can't argue with you regarding how you comprehend his write up but it is all about perspective.

Ladies get emotional anytime they read about men cheating but it is so unfortunate that it is the reality of life and only a realist will understand this which I guess is who toks is.

My sister, talk from now till tomorrow, vex all the vex in the world and infact write and preach against unfaithfullness and you will be amazed that it will be effort in futility.

Who fights nature? Same way you can't win this battle so learn to cope. This is a bitter pill to swallow but please start learning how to cope with the bitterness cos it will help you in this wicked world of men.

This matter don tire me to discuss abeg.

Toks2008:
In the days of our mothers when marriage had great value and respect, women don't wait to fall in love before they marry any man but they marry first and grow to respect and appreciate the man with full submission...in fact women had no business with feelings of love but only one thing was vital to them....RAISING THEIR CHILDREN and ironically, they rarely depend on the man to help them achieve this and the only basic thing they needed the men for was satisfying their sexual needs even when the men were perceived to be overly demanding for conjugation and polygamous in nature.

Fast forward to the present-day.... Women what to be sure they have feelings for the man before they even date him, they want to be sure he loves them, they want gender equality, a man that will remain faithful to them, a man that can take care of them financially and in most cases, it ends in heartbreak with a resultant negative effect on the children that ought to be their main priority.

What is my point?

The present-day woman has changed the concept of marriage as created by GOD cos they are not ready to submit to their husbands as the women of old did and as instructed by GOD thereby making the institution unattractive. A woman has no business with loving any man or developing any feelings for a man before she marries him...the most important thing to look out for is if the man is responsible enough to be respected and be a father to her kids... in fact many of us wouldn't have been born by our mothers if they did not set their priorities right and if they hinged their marital happiness on their husbands actions or inaction.

The joy and priority of any lady should be herself and her kids but should never be hinged on what the man does with his life. Even if he is the philandering type you can simply switch him in your mind from a husband figure to a booty call without the need of you leaving your marriage to start looking for an imaginary faithful man...(You can do this...its a thing of the mind)

A lady should bring to the world the number of children she can conveniently cater to without the help of the man. And when the kids come, she should focus on raising her kids and make sure she is financially independent to do this without the man's help.

Your main priority as a woman in this one life you have is not to love a man or worry your head over a man loving you or being faithful to you. Your number one duty is to be the best you can be, bring forth and raise a GOD loving generation..If you are a lady nearing menopause and you are still single, look for a responsible sperm donor to have a kid with as long as he is willing to be a father to your kids and live a happy life...that you are a single mum will never stop a man from desiring you...don't allow menopause catch up on you whilst waiting to get married.

Hope this makes sense.

pocohantas:
Thank God for women and marriage,

I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.

E go pass how we want responsible and faithful ready-made men that are already taken and/or heavily desired?

-how we want equality without equal responsibilities?

-how we want faithful husbands when all men are polygamous by default?

-how cheating doesn't change the love a man has for his wife as long as he performs his duties, she should focus on her kids. He would definitely come back home...

-Etc

Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table.

Toks2008:
In the days of our mothers when marriage had great value and respect, women don't wait to fall in love before they marry any man but they marry first and grow to respect and appreciate the man with full submission...in fact women had no business with feelings of love but only one thing was vital to them....RAISING THEIR CHILDREN and ironically, they rarely depend on the man to help them achieve this and the only basic thing they needed the men for was satisfying their sexual needs even when the men were perceived to be overly demanding for conjugation and polygamous in nature.

Fast forward to the present-day.... Women what to be sure they have feelings for the man before they even date him, they want to be sure he loves them, they want gender equality, a man that will remain faithful to them, a man that can take care of them financially and in most cases, it ends in heartbreak with a resultant negative effect on the children that ought to be their main priority.

What is my point?

The present-day woman has changed the concept of marriage as created by GOD cos they are not ready to submit to their husbands as the women of old did and as instructed by GOD thereby making the institution unattractive. A woman has no business with loving any man or developing any feelings for a man before she marries him...the most important thing to look out for is if the man is responsible enough to be respected and be a father to her kids... in fact many of us wouldn't have been born by our mothers if they did not set their priorities right and if they hinged their marital happiness on their husbands actions or inaction.

The joy and priority of any lady should be herself and her kids but should never be hinged on what the man does with his life. Even if he is the philandering type you can simply switch him in your mind from a husband figure to a booty call without the need of you leaving your marriage to start looking for an imaginary faithful man...(You can do this...its a thing of the mind)

A lady should bring to the world the number of children she can conveniently cater to without the help of the man. And when the kids come, she should focus on raising her kids and make sure she is financially independent to do this without the man's help.

Your main priority as a woman in this one life you have is not to love a man or worry your head over a man loving you or being faithful to you. Your number one duty is to be the best you can be, bring forth and raise a GOD loving generation..If you are a lady nearing menopause and you are still single, look for a responsible sperm donor to have a kid with as long as he is willing to be a father to your kids and live a happy life...that you are a single mum will never stop a man from desiring you...don't allow menopause catch up on you whilst waiting to get married.

Hope this makes sense.

Toks2008:
Hahahaha, this cracked me up. I understand your position judging from the fact that not many people are gifted in freelance writing. I don't do copy and paste. It flows from my head effortlessly.

You can google this title and you will be amazed only nairaland will come up as your search result talking about this very thread.

liberalchick:
These options are not available to all infertile couples and it is expensive. So what happens to the wife in a childless marriage?

Toks2008:
I think Satan should be more scared of men who are so mean that all they do is mess up the lives of ladies.

My write up will make sense to any reasonable woman who understands that there is nothing any lady can do to right the menance of Randy men.

They come online to bark like dogs but they still go back to face the harsh reality...some of them are now so clueless that they have accepted that most guys are Randy but if you must cheat then you must be rich.

My guy abeg I no fit shout. My threads are in support of ladies but cos I write realistic stuff, the ladies with indomie brains won't catch the drift but the wise ones wiĺl understand.

PHOTSEE:
REALLY, I CHOOSE NOT TO MENTION THIS TIME, DON'T YOU THINK THE VERY CELEBRITIES YOU LISTED WILL NOT BLICK AN EYE TO LEAVE SUCH THING OP CALLED MARRIAGE ABOVE, HOW MANY OF THEM CAN STAND TO BE A GOOD MODEL FOR YOUR DAUGHT,SINGLE MOTHER WITHOUT HUSBAND (NOT CAUSE BY LOST SPOUSE) BUT INTENTIONAL JUST TO BE CALLED BABE MAMA, FALLING SOCIAL SYSTEM, WHAT ARE THEY RUNING FROM? WHAT IF IT HAPPENS YOU ASKED? IT EVERYWHERE , ALL YOU JUST NEED TO DO IS OPEN YOUR EYE AND SEE, AND STOP BEING SELF CENTERED AND INCONSIDERATE, I AM A MAN OF LITTLE WORDS YOU SHOULD KNOW BY NOW.

CHoccolaTE:
The guy is now so bold, declaring that women don't need love or faithfulness from their husbands but must continue submitting to same husband and raise God loving children.

I no come know which religion him dey follow that allows men to cheat and not show love to wives but wives must submit to them.

Amanda4life:
Your words are so big mehn

DMerciful:
I would love to meet you in real life

Mstick:
Nigerian version of Christianity cracks me up big time.

The Bible said thou shall not commit adultery but in Nigeria it's interpreted as, women don't commit adultery but a man can.

Same bible said men love your wives in Nigeria it's interpreted as, men it up to you even if you love her or not she must submit to you after all you paid bride price.

To be honest, this is one of the most sickening write ups ever but in the mind of this docile man he feels he made sense.


Why should I marry a man I don't love?
Why should kids be brought up in a loveless
marriage?
Why should I give my body to a man I know sleeps with numerous women and risk my health and well-being?
Why should I watch helplessly while a man pursues his happiness meanwhile I am dying of unhappiness just because YOU asked me to?

They keep talking about "our mothers" like they did such a great job. The Nigerian society is just a reflection of the homes and family life in Nigeria.
*wickedness *envy *hopelessness

Men want to tell women how to act, how to think, how to live meanwhile you lot are the WORST when it comes to crime and evil.

Where is the thread advising men to stop raping, killing, violence, stealing, cultism.

You religious people have exonerated "men"From doing anything in their homes after all a "wise woman builds the home" still you want to be accorded maximum respect.

Amanda4life:
That is divorce loading.

The person will eventually becomes a single mum without a financial helper.

So for me its very stupid of me to divorce while there are kids. I wouldn't want to suffer and train kids alone. At the end of the day they will answer the mans name.


If I want to have man friend s, I will
But If I don't want, I Will just let my shadow be in the marriage, if I see means of traveling out, I will do sharp sharp, knowing that training kids over there will not be that difficult

Guest007:
So you are broke, uneducated and you can't live without your husband. You are definitely op's audience, I'm glad his bs reached one person.

Maybe advocate for family planning and education before marriage instead of the crap you are selling here

Amanda4life:
Please push this topi to front page.

This is exactly what I'm going through at the moment, and am sure some people are.

I have learnt from this, I also want them to learn from it.
Thanks

Guest007:
So you are broke, uneducated and you can't live without your husband. You are definitely op's audience, I'm glad his bs reached one person.

Maybe advocate for family planning and education before marriage instead of the crap you are selling here

Guest007:
So you are broke, uneducated and you can't live without your husband. You are definitely op's audience, I'm glad his bs reached one person.

Maybe advocate for family planning and education before marriage instead of the crap you are selling here

Amanda4life:
I pray God blesses you with my kind.

I will quietly treat your case.

In your next life when you see a woman you will take to your heels

Toks2008:
on your other point, i can see that you just choose to be very ignorant. Divorce, as well as Polygamy, were never in GOD's original plan but at a point GOD permitted the two
Mathew 19:8
'Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning"

....then he went further to give grounds for divorce.

so all your cry cry of a man cheating is dumb and a waste of time cos a man can either choose to be with just one woman or as many as he likes so YES i am a bonafide believer in christ but i am not the type who will tell you what you want to hear.

wrongnumber:
Seems you are going through a tough time but be strong.

Blackmiserable:
You're a realist, to be honest. This is the question I have always had to ask American FEMALE Redditors (reddit.com) who would often say "My husband heated on me and I got to know through blablabla...." and all its different variants, you get. It blows my mind that every single time the kind of comments I read is basically this: He doesn't deserve you. You deserve better. Breakup.

Any woman who is not mentally ill should go for option C. There were ladies, Toks, who kinda reiterated your position while I served in a local government as a Corp member. If you get fidelity from your man, fine, but if you don't, just focus on your children. I think it makes sense. It makes no sense to me to breakup with your husband because he's cheating. That your B funny sha.

wrongnumber:
Honestly I can't argue with you regarding how you comprehend his write up but it is all about perspective.

Ladies get emotional anytime they read about men cheating but it is so unfortunate that it is the reality of life and only a realist will understand this which I guess is who toks is.

My sister, talk from now till tomorrow, vex all the vex in the world and infact write and preach against unfaithfullness and you will be amazed that it will be effort in futility.

Who fights nature? Same way you can't win this battle so learn to cope. This is a bitter pill to swallow but please start learning how to cope with the bitterness cos it will help you in this wicked world of men.

This matter don tire me to discuss abeg.

Magnoliaa:
So, you'll rather spread the mantra of accepting the status quo than imploring people to change their conditioning? Attitudes?

otherway:
And in your mind you think you can preach men out of philandering?

Amanda4life:
Your words are so big mehn

otherway:
And in your mind you think you can preach men out of philandering?

Magnoliaa:
People can change their orientation and can conform to a certain way of living. "It's a mind thing" - like the OP is fond of saying.

It's beliefs like the OP's, yours and more that aid the behaviors of unfaithful men. They don't respect anybody.

Why is it okay to preach to a woman to stay with a cheating partner? Is it okay for her to cheat,
too? Anyone can cheat. People are naturally polygamous. So if you can expect of the woman faithfulness (which is contrary to her nature),
why can't you expect the same of a man?