In the days of our mothers when marriage had great value and respect, women don't wait to fall in love before they marry any man but they marry first and grow to love, respect and appreciate the man with full submission and only one thing was most vital to them....RAISING THEIR CHILDREN and ironically, they rarely depend on the man to help them achieve this and the only basic thing they needed the men for was satisfying their sexual needs even when the men were perceived to be overly demanding for conjugation and polygamous.

Fast forward to the present-day... Women want to be sure the guy matches their fantasy and that they have feelings for the man before they even date him, marriage to them is all about feelings and sparks. They want a man that will remain faithful to them, a man that can take care of them financially and in most cases, it ends in heartbreak with a resultant negative effect on the children that ought to be their main priority.

Whilst there are few ladies who are fortunate to be with very responsible husbands in all ramifications, we can't rule out the fact that most ladies are enmeshed in a marital union with irresponsible men and this thread is for the latter group.

To understand my message better I would like every lady reading this to answer this question by picking an option.
If you are married with kids and your husband sleeps with another lady or behaves offensively asides domestic violence which is life-threatening what will you do?

A. Leave your marriage, stay single and celibate for the rest of your life and also expose the kids to the consequence of a broken home?
B. Leave your marriage and expose yourself to randy men to be used as an intimacy gadget in the name of finding ''a faithful or a good man''.
c. Remain in your marriage and focus on improving your life and that of your child(ren) and also creating balanced parenthood for your kids whilst switching your mind off from the madness of your husband?

WHAT IS MY POINT?

Enough of this never-ending menace of single motherhood as a result of misplaced priority in their marriages. Your main priority as a woman in this one life you have is not to love a man or worry your head over a man being faithful to you or his actions or inactions. Your number one duty is to be the best you can be, bring forth and raise a GOD loving generation and stop running out of your marriage with the illusion that there is a better man out there.

The truth is.. There is nothing out there. Every man out there has a demon he is battling with so stay in your marriage and make it work.

Enough of these horrific stories of ladies killing their husbands because they have eyes for other women. It just doesnt make any sense and leaving your marriage is no guarantee that the bext man won't do worse.

Your basic and paramount role in life is to raise a generation so focus more on that and stop chasing a facade in the name of feelings and love from a man that could promise you the world today and leave you dejected the next day.

My candid opinion.

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Geminita1:
Copy and paste loading

Hahahaha, this cracked me up. I understand your position judging from the fact that not many people are gifted in freelance writing. I don't do copy and paste. It flows from my head effortlessly.

You can google this title and you will be amazed only nairaland will come up as your search result talking about this very thread.

Toks2008:


Hahahaha, this cracked me up. I understand your position judging from the fact that not many people are gifted in freelance writing. I don't do copy and paste. It flows from my head effortlessly.

You can google this title and you will be amazed only nairaland will come up as your search result talking about this very thread.

Don't mind her . She thinks everyone is like her.

Thank God for women and marriage,

I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.

E go pass how we want responsible and faithful ready-made men that are already taken and/or heavily desired?

-how we want equality without equal responsibilities?

-how we want faithful husbands when all men are polygamous by default?

-how cheating doesn't change the love a man has for his wife as long as he performs his duties, she should focus on her kids. He would definitely come back home...

-Etc

Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table.

Nigerian men and their unproductive ways, all these talk about women and marriage no dey tire una? The world is moving, marriage is becoming less important day by day but stubborn romancelanders are hell bent on making it relevant. The only advise i would give to any woman is to never force herself in a marriage and also, she should tey to have something of her own while married, all your money should not go to building your family, it should go for building yourself because if anything happens, you will loose everything you have worked for and nobody will help you on nairaland.


Don't suffer with any man, they won't remember your suffering when the time comes, build yourself so you become indispensable to your husband or better still, marry a rich man, if he does anyhow, you will know that you didn't lose out on every ground.

I would love to meet you in real life

pocohantas:
Thank God for women and marriage,

I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.

E go pass how we want responsible and faithful ready-made men that are already taken and/or heavily desired?

-how we want equality without equal responsibilities?

-how we want faithful husbands when all men are polygamous by default?

-how cheating doesn't change the love a man has for his wife as long as he performs his duties, she should focus on her kids. He would definitely come back home...

-Etc

Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table.

DMerciful:
I would love to meet you in real life

Lol. You want to see how I run my mouth?

Your thought process is intriguing...that's basically it. Wanna see the person behind the personality

pocohantas:


Lol. You want to see how I run my mouth?

write threads on how men can become better partners, leave women. How experienced are you on marital issues? You know nothing about marriage. All you know is to teach men how to oppress women. Nonsense.

DMerciful:
Your thought process is intriguing...that's basically it. Wanna see the person behind the personality

I'm flattered
Just the girl next door though.

A lady posted this on her whatsapp status and I quite agree with her...infact any lady with her mindset is totally liberated.

Amebo op.
Focus on men and leave women alone abi na only women dey marry.
Rubbish. Op with his dry silly threads always centered on ladies yet he is a male that seems to know a lot about women affairs.
Woman wrapper.


Learn to advice your fellow guys take a break from the women bashing and advice your men to be better men

Toks2008:
See how ladies are already vetting their raging hormones even when I haven't written Jack... Oversabi won't kill some ladies.

Do you want to write anything new?

You have over 300 threads, at least 100 is on women/marriage. So, what new can you write?

Nigerian men never change (for better) na. They are still using same OS our fathers used before independence.

They’ve replied to a pending post with their epistles already. At least let us see what Toks has in store. Na wa o.

one of the write ups on Nairaland I wasted time awaiting..valueless

derrydinny:
Nigerian men and their unproductive ways, all these talk about women and marriage no dey tire una? The world is moving, marriage is becoming less important day by day but stubborn romancelanders are hell bent on making it relevant. The only advise i would give to any woman is to never force herself in a marriage and also, she should tey to have something of her own while married, all your money should not go to building your family, it should go for building yourself because if anything happens, you will loose everything you have worked for and nobody will help you on nairaland.


Don't suffer with any man, they won't remember your suffering when the time comes, build yourself so you become indispensable to your husband or better still, marry a rich man, if he does anyhow, you will know that you didn't lose out on every ground.

pocohantas : Thank God for women and marriage,
I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.
E go pass how we want responsible and faithful ready-made men that are already taken and/or heavily desired?
-how we want equality without equal responsibilities?
-how we want faithful husbands when all men are polygamous by default?
-how cheating doesn't change the love a man has for his wife as long as he performs his duties, she should focus on her kids. He would definitely come back home...
-Etc
Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table .

Why don't you all allow him to land, why all these fights and misgivings.its uncalled for

modified

he has finally dropped it and I must sincerely apologise to the two ladies I quoted above, seems you all already know what he was capable of writing and I apologise.His write-up is meant for the dustbins, it lacks substance and misleading. I won't even comment on the topic as it will be out of place for me to consider it a merit

AfroKnight:
They’ve replied to a pending post with their epistles already. At least let us see what Toks has in store. Na wa o.

the mata tire me, see lengthy defense..
Akwobe beans moi-moi ana eshi

There is nothing new he would write!

I am sure he is brainstorming to prove me wrong now. Make una advise unasef small na.

Next thing na to dey tag lalasticlala

"Lalasticlàla, I am sure you will find this enlightening"

"Lalasticlàla, don't sleep on this"

"I would still not want Lalasticlalà to miss this"

We have these manuals already ooo

pocohantas:
There is nothing new he would write!

I am sure he is brainstorming to prove me wrong now. Make una advise unasef small na.

Next thing na to dey tag lalasticlala

"Lalasticlàla, I am sure you will find this enlightening"

"Lalasticlàla, don't sleep on this"

"I would still not want Lalasticlalà to miss this"

We have these manuals already ooo

Wettin I do you this Babe? Are you In love with Me? Let me know and I will gladly make you a legitimate concubine.

Doñt worry I will take care of you.

Will you guys let him write, we need to see his article and hear his opinion before we judge and cast aspersions.

Tokunbo, please write. We are waiting to read.

Toks2008:


Wettin I do you this Babe? Are you In love with Me? Let me know and I will gladly make you a legitimate concubine.

Toks I get your time today. Drop that your blockbuster o. I want you to prove me right.

pocohantas:


Toks I get your time today. Drop that your blockbuster o. I want you to prove me right.

E be like sey you go write am for me cos you don derail the thread already even before it exists.

What you fail to realize is that no matter how you claim to be tired of reading about my romance threads.. you cant rule out the fact that my approach makes every thread of mine worth reading cos I don't write what people expect to read.

Everyday women this, women that
Nonsense

Toks2008:


E be like sey you go write am for me cos you don derail the thread already even before it exists.

Rest biko or better still, don't act like it is anything new. Thank you...

Una no de tire for this marriage and relationship advice to women?

Relationships and marriages are like wars, there are no rules.

Just stick to what works for you

pocohantas:
Thank God for women and marriage,

I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.

Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table.

@bolded. Yaba Left V.I.P

NNEWIsuper:

the mata tire me, see lengthy defense..
Akwobe beans moi-moi ana eshi

I tire o

Lol.

Toks2008:
In the days of our mothers when marriage had great value and respect, women don't wait to fall in love before they marry any man but they marry first and grow to appreciate the man...infact women had no business with feelings or love but only one thing was vital to them....RAISING THEIR CHILDREN and ironically, they rarely depend on the man to help them achieve this and the only basic thing they needed the men for was satisfying their sexual needs even when the men were perceived to be overly demanding for conjugation and polygamous in nature.

Fast forward to the present-day.... Women what to be sure they have feelings for the man, they want to be sure he loves them, they spend their time finding a man they love and a man that will remain faithful to them..a man that can take care of them financially and in most cases, it ends in heartbreak with a resultant negative effect on the children that ought to be their main priority.

What is my point?

The present day woman has changed the concept of marriage thereby making it so overrated.

A woman has no business with loving any man or develping any feelings for a man before they marry him...the most important thing to look out for is if the man is responsible enough to be called a Dad...

A lady should worry less about what a man does with his life and even if he is the philandering type you can simply switch him in your mind from a husband figure to a booty call without the need of you leaving your marriage...(You can do this...its a thing of the mind)

My advise to unmarried ladies is to settle with a man that is good enough to be a responsible Dad and when the kids starts coming please focus on raising your kids and make sure you are financially independent to do this without the man's help.

If you are a lady nearing menopause and you are still single, look for a responsible man to have a kid with as long as he is willing to be a father to your kids and live a happy life...

Your priority as a woman is not to love a man and it is not a MUST to marry but to raise a GOD loving generation..

Hope this makes sense.

If our mothers' way was perfect and they had well brought up kids, wouldn't their daughters (us) be perfect?

Abi you have forgotten that the terrible daughters of today were brought up by the perfect mothers of yesterday.

Despite overwhelming evidence, we are all in denial that the mothers hailed as been content with their lives must have secretly abhorred it to collectively raise the daughters of today.

Ok