How much is this dowry?.That Nairalanders can't have their lunch in peace.

Redoil:
see eh Urhobos men believes that mother are to train children while the father does what he likes with his life. that is why most of them marry up to 5 wives and still have lot of girlfriends with out taking care of their children.

to me who ever takes care of a child up to a marriageable age is entitle to collect the bride price

Where did she say he father is Urhobo?

@Elder dont fvck any tradition o, i dont know your tribe but if not for the sake of the white men, who brought Christianity here on our land, you and i may not have known what is Bible, therefore respect tradition cos it was there b4 u were born!..but then, dear sister, God will actually see through on this your predicament, even though we are not there in your family to really know which side of the story is true or false. But whats important is there must be peace both in your Patrnal and Maternal homes. If you choose not to regard your dad, he brought you into this world and i don't think you have hated him that much, perhaps he is old now and regret no actions of his toward you and your siblings, please allow God to judge him, but give him what he truly deserves if he is alive, even your husband if he has listened to this your story may advised you to do the needful so he wont face any charges or your marriage witness any difficulty as a result of your negligence. Pay attention to what the elders has to tell you and make sure you don't go against your paternal traditions. i dont know much about Edo and their traditions, but i know some of their tradition cant be thwarted or disobeyed. Thus, if you dont want your dad walk you to aisle (thats white wedding), let him offer you the drink to seek your husband-to-be before the crowd who would bear you witness to avoid what they'd say tomorrow mbok.

Your father's side must collect something on your head but you can stylishly show your disdain for them in other ways without showing yourself up to your husband and his family.

But he or one of your paternal uncles must collect it. Any other thing is just storing embarrassment and insults for the future. And your MIL is watching the whole thing, sorry to bring her into it but it's true. The whole thing is a test, as in a very big one.

Don't allow your maternal family to use you to settle scores. Your uncle has no right to collect what belongs to your father, it is an abomination and a curse. I have seen a similar case to yours...the man tried to bypass his father and ask his maternal uncle to accompany him to marry but that uncle refused and told him to go back to the father. Father who abandoned him when he was a baby!

Your uncle should know better than to collect somebody's due. If he really cared for you all these years then he shouldn't mess up at this late stage. Your husband doesn't need to be seeing or hearing that kind of suggestion. If he has a problem with your dad your uncle should confront him and not use you and your marriage as a cheap pawn.

This is not about whether he "deserves" the bride price or not. As far as he sired you and paid your mothers bride price, it is his right to collect your own.

As for the village, sorry but you have to go there and perform the rites. Even me my village looks like something from the stone age, still the two of us must go home. It's ancestral land and has some ancient meanings attached to it that are very important. At least you are a lady, you are only going there to say goodbye to them since your husband has come to take you away.

If you want you can make the village part as short as possible so you won't need to stay for long.

Sorry about your mum. May she witness your special day from the heavens.

No

Your pastor or Ex boyfriend can receive it too

Forget about your father... infact you don't have a father...

Go and do your wedding in peace.

georgemarcus:
@Elder dont fvck any tradition o, i dont know your tribe but if not for the sake of the white men, who brought Christianity here on our land, you and i may not have known what is Bible, therefore respect tradition cos it was there b4 u were born!..but then, dear sister, God will actually see through on this your predicament, even though we are not there in your family to really know which side of the story is true or false. But whats important is there must be peace both in your Patrnal and Maternal homes. If you choose not to regard your dad, he brought you into this world and i don't think you have hated him that much, perhaps he is old now and regret no actions of his toward you and your siblings, please allow God to judge him, but give him what he truly deserves if he is alive, even your husband if he has listened to this your story may advised you to do the needful so he wont face any charges or your marriage witness any difficulty as a result of your negligence. Pay attention to what the elders has to tell you and make sure you don't go against your paternal traditions. i dont know much about Edo and their traditions, but i know some of their tradition cant be thwarted or disobeyed. Thus, if you dont want your dad walk you to aisle (thats white wedding), let him offer you the drink to seek your husband-to-be before the crowd who would bear you witness to avoid what they'd say tomorrow mbok.

Did I mention bible or Christianity in my post?

In as much as I don't approve what ur dad did to you, I wud still advice u respect the tradition. Pls let him take ur bride price. Time wud fail me if I begin to enumerate the significance of him collecting ur bride price. Am from Edo North and a minority tribe as well. Don't let people who know nothing abt ur tradition push u into something u wud regret.

Nowenuse:
The day we Africans start to disregard useless and unprofitable traditions, they will die naturally.
Useless traditions that have taken us nowhere and left us at the bottom of the food chain in the world.

There are Nigerians living abroad that do not even do any form of traditional wedding and they are happily married and such unions are lawfully recognized cos that is all that matters in our laws of today.
Your uncle can give your hand in marriage, it does not matter.

I hope you practice the useful and profitable African traditions shaa...or are they too “fetish” ?
The world would never ever respect a people without their core beliefs, culture and marriage
rites. Always remember this, and don’t be quick to knock your culture
The worst legacy of colonisation is mental slavery....to paraphrase a Nland author

@ OP
I would do everything to the last letter, the way it’s supposed to be done
And this means going to my village to do every thing, give father bride price (buy his clothes sef)

...first, because it is the tradition and it’s a good one
Second, because my father played a part in my becoming, even if he didn’t parent me. I would show gratitude for the sperm donation at least.
He can stay away afterwards...
Or he can do an about turn and genuinely seek forgiveness, reconciliation and a relationship with me and my siblings, catalysed by my honouring an undeserving him when I wedded...which would be perfect
He might become a much much better grandfather than he was a father...good right?
Anyway either way, life goes on

Third is for when the marriage euphoria would fade , I would not want my husband and his people to use my birth and nurture circumstances to play ball

But this is just me and what I would do

Op We had a similar scenario in my family when my elder sister wanted to marry years ago. Although, in my case, my dad died VERY EARLY and NOT that he abandoned us.
The responsibility fell solely on my mum with little or no assistance from others. She trained us all and ensured we became successful in life.
Time for marriage , my Late father's family(Uncles, Elders etc) starting making unnesscessry demands and spreading legs claiming "our daughter " as if they contributed 1kobo to our lives. I was pissed that I almost let loose that day, but a family friend advised us to do our best because that's only want they will get from us. And that was what we did and till now, I haven't set my eyes on them. We always laugh whenever we discuss this as a family Lol.

To the topic..Allow your father to receive the bride price and IF POSSIBLE (optional though ) let him walk you down "shame go still catch am".
It wouldn't smell nice before your husband's people when things like this spring up at this early stage. My personal opinion though.
Best wishes!

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

Well its not a do or die affair, if your brother can take his place good and fine

But left for me, just invite him wherever the marriage bride price will be done and let him collect it

He may be a nuisance but give to him his right since he is alive and after that keep him at arms length

I won't like anything that will trip your state of mind in your marriage and or anything that will affect your brother if he should collect it

Your dad is a bittered man and he can harm anyone that crosses his part because of the careless life he lived

As for your paternal uncle, plead with him to over look that aspect because your dad has lost all already

And promise your uncle of you guys loyalty

OP, The truth is that Bride price is for the father dead or alive or your paternal family. Tradition enshrined it from that part of the World, irrespective of what your father has done, it is his right. Venue can be anywhere depending on your arrangement with your father. Igbanke is just a stone throw from my end maternally and Urhuobo paternally. You should be mindful of what people (family and friends) will say. Plead with your maternal uncle, he still has a role to play in the process, he can walk you through the aisle with special arrangement. Don't undermine your ancestral home, no matter what. Remain blessed.

Ziggyduben:

I've even seen a situation where d girl wants her trad in her father's house but d mum refused & says it will b in her own house. Now d groom says he doesn't mind paying bride price to both father & mother but the father who was never there says that will b over his dead body. (The matter tire everybody)

The girl's mother is using her to play politics, very selfish and it may backfire on the daughter one day

Gurumaharaji:
Regina Daniels father doesn't even know she get married.... so ur responsible Uncle dat train u can conveniently act as ur father during d occasion

Fatherhoodis not just about giving birth,...... Honour your Responsible father.......
Hes not Feeling Entitled, He is ENTITLED

Ditto. Some people here are shouting tradition. Tradition that hasn't gotten them anywhere. No wonder Nigeria is still backwards in 2019.

Nowenuse:
The day we Africans start to disregard useless and unprofitable traditions, they will die naturally.
Useless traditions that have taken us nowhere and left us at the bottom of the food chain in the world.

There are Nigerians living abroad that do not even do any form of traditional wedding and they are happily married and such unions are lawfully recognized cos that is all that matters in our laws of today.
Your uncle can give your hand in marriage, it does not matter.

why must your father reap from you when he never cared bout the wellbeing of yur infancy? forget all these antiquated and outdated belief about taking care of ones parents even when they do you bad. if a father/ mother doesnt care for their children, they shudnt reap from them. i am not talking of if the parents are poor,thats understandble. i am talking of those that abandon their child/children and that those have the money but prefer spending it on flexing rather than taking care of their chidren. i have passed thru this as well , some pple are still going thru this and some innocent children will still go thru it. its so saddening leaving 3,4,5 children in the care of a wife/husband when it is not tat u are dead. heartless people. go do your wedding girl and leave him aside so that he will realize tat he did a bad thing. he can then tell his stories to anyone tat also want to tread his path. las las, ignore pple wey go tel you bout your papa blessing on your marriage. wedding wey go scatter go scatter with or without anyone's blessing. i wish you a blissful home in advance

Madam but wait ooo.....are you really for sale?

Sometimes when I read up how people hold traditions in high esteem I shake head for them. Traditions are man made, men and women like us sat down and develop what we now call tradition. How can people who were given birth years ago determine what I do with my life today. These are people who their ways of life are now known as culture and tradition today. Who says I can start my own tradition away from what it used to be. Going back to the topic, OP do whatever you think will make u sleep better at night. If tradition is making u have sleepless night disregard it and go ahead with ur marriage. Imagine you live abroad and ur white fiancée has no regard for your marriage tradition, will you break up with him?

Guys, make una hustle o, so una daughters no go open thread to know if you suppose collect bride price.

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

Whoever receives the bride price doesn’t translate to the fact that they are significant importance to you.

Your dad remains your dad irrespective of whatever. Pls, give him that honor during this preparation phase.
Though they’ve been helpful, pls don’t let your maternal relatives use your marriage as a ground to settle scores with your dad. The only instruction we were given concerning our parents in the Bible is that we honor them. That without rational or emotional affiliation.
At the moment, your dad may be wishing he had done better while you were growing up. Pls, don’t compound his regrets.
And if need be that you take a stand irrespective of what anyone thinks, don’t shy away.
I pray God grants you wisdom on how best to handle both sides of the family.
I wish you the best.

Shalom

kindly ignore all the rubbish your dad has been doing since your childhood, Do the traditional in a very very low key in the village, like in misery, afterwards leave and never go back.
As for the white wedding, that would be done in your place of choice, Your uncle can have his day, do it as elaborate as Ur pocket can accommodate, don't even invite your father's family.
Remember ,give what belongs to Caesar to Caesar...

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

Any reasonable potential inlaw about to marry you will not do anything unless they meet your father.

Forget whatever advices you are getting from your uncle.

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

For the sake of tradition (this is not even a harmful traditional practice) let your father collect his due.

He paid your Mum's bride price, did he not?

You can always appreciate the contributions of your uncles during your traditional wedding, but let everyone have what is rightfully theirs for peace to reign.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Maternal family cannot take bride price where I'm from. Mustn't be your father though.

Seriously I'm even ashame of what people are saying here, can a table stand without legs?. Make she come make I collect her dowry because she doesn't want her father to do it.

Gurumaharaji:
Regina Daniels father doesn't even know she get married.... so ur responsible Uncle dat train u can conveniently act as ur father during d occasion

how old are you?

your father is always your father no matter what?

Ochendo1:


Any reasonable potential inlaw about to marry you will not do anything unless they meet your father.

Forget whatever advices you are getting from your uncle.

Las las na she go still bear the shame for their women's/friends meeting.

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

look if your father should revealed the secret reason why he never cared your mother n inevitably you n your siblings you will hate life,I dare you to challenge your father to reveal why he didn't care about your mum if he wants your respect at all!,see don't just try to fight tradition, know what you are getting into but I'm afraid you are playing with fire.

young lady listen to me;

there is a bride price for your dad and also for your mum,
let your dad collect what traditionally belongs to him and let your maternal uncle collect the one meant for mum since she is late.

dont take that advice from maternal uncle telling you that you should not involve your dad in the process.

act maturely, let your dad know that even though he has failed as a father, you cannot fail as a daugher

QuintessentialW:


This makes a lot of sense. Not Owan or Igarra... from Igbanke.

Thanks a lot for your contribution.

I learnt igbanke is an Igbo tribe in Edo..Nice..we easterners fit collect the bride price on your dad behalf

QuintessentialW:
Hello house, good morning.

I have a real concern and I want to know what is permissible from mature and discerning individuals in the house.

Myself and my siblings were raised (from when I was about 8 years old) single handedly by my mum. Even all the 7 years that my father lived with us, my mum chiefly ran the home... she was the one who paid rent and school fees and ensured quality feeding. Father was gainfully employed at the time, but he just lacked a sense of responsibility for family. He finally absconded at about the time I was 8 because he lost his job, and never looked back... he was never involved in our finances or welfare. In all those years, he visited a few times, but that was all. My mum passed on a few years ago and her brother, my uncle, assumed FULL responsibility for my siblings and I. My paternal uncles never lent a helping hand.

Now I'm in my 20s, done with schooling, working currently, and would be getting married soon. I want to know what is permissible. I'm from a minority tribe in Edo State, so I'm not Bini or Esan. My maternal family are Okpe (Urhobos). Left to me, I don't want my father collecting my bride price or walking me down the aisle. He now lives in squalor in the village. I don't want to go to the village to do my traditional wedding if I can help it.

Two years ago when I first had plans of getting married, my maternal uncle who's responsible for us had mentioned that I shouldn't take any man to my dad. My maternal family is angry with him, for what he did to my mum and us. I would love to respect my Uncle's wishes because I feel he has a say, and to show my appreciation for all he's done.

Has it ever happened that a girl's maternal family receives her bride price? Is it a taboo? If that's against tradition, is it possible to choose another location other than the village, where my dad and his kinsmen can perform the traditional rites?

Also, on my church wedding day, can my Uncle walk me down the aisle?

N:B I don't hold any grudges against father. I've been the only one amongst all my siblings who's tried to keep in touch with him. I was the one who personally went to seek him out to know where he lives... and to know my village. Whenever I can afford to, I send him money.

Still, I don't feel he deserves to give my hand in marriage. He's never been a dad, in the true sense of the word. Something happened not so long ago, and he was threatening to curse my brothers... for not looking after him. He acts really entitled.

Candid advice, please. Thank you.

Carry the money give your sugar daddy.

Shut up your stupid mouth. Did the OP say her father is urhobo? Mumu,
you just jumped in with your tribalism without taking time to actually read that the op's father is from Benin.

My parents are urhobos and my dad hussled his ass off to give us the best a father could give his children. Same with my parents brothers and all the urhobos we know.

Redoil:
see eh Urhobos men believes that mother are to train children while the father does what he likes with his life. that is why most of them marry up to 5 wives and still have lot of girlfriends with out taking care of their children.

to me who ever takes care of a child up to a marriageable age is entitle to collect the bride price