₦airaland Forum

senifade:
Do you want to marry someone you can't trust? If yes, go ahead, if no then quit the relationship.

pocohantas:
You sure say she wan marry you?

Na November be this. Men go land next month.Ugo China and co...

Abi she just wan discharge you. She kuku know say you love am. Na to slam you one heavy confession.

Be like I will go tell my guy this kind thing. Make e use im hand breakup.

No even mind me. My head dey jam.

Route99:
Declined being in a no-sex relationship from the beginning, since this is your reason for her actions.

kulekaa:
just shut up there

cenaman:
If I no marry virgin wetin i gain? ashawo everywhere.

donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that

Humility017:
Thanks for the bolded...... when they're many ladies praying for men of this kind that can take a stand against sexual immorality......

ever since I realised that my kind is rare...
I no longer beg or try to make any lady stay with people....

the problem many guys like OP make...is looking for the right person in the wrong places.... go into relationships with someone who share same values with you.... especially as regard sex and faith...

he/she will abstain not because she wanna be faithful to you but because he/she wanna be faithful to God.....

adanny01:
Why did she break up in the first place? The break up is the declining of the no sex relationship.

She declined, went and enjoyed herself, learnt her lesson, and op came back with same rules.

Only this time he is going to get married. It is easier to accept a no sex relationship when a dateline is in the picture. She knows now the no sex relationship will end when they get married.

If op didn't propose marriage, am sure she would decline him when he came back.

donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that

AceRoyal:
I'll advice you not to end the relationship with her.
For her to open up to you, shows that she values you and the relationship.
Forgive her, it's in the past.
I'm talking from experience.
And please don't ever use this against her in future, no matter the situation or circumstances.

donbachi:
deputy Jesus...clap 4 ur sef.

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

inspitation:
What if her womb is already damaged? after marriage no child she will now say didnt i tell you i had an abortion before?
did i force you to marry me? bla bla bla...

donbachi:
deputy Jesus...clap 4 ur sef.

Route99:
Then she would have made it very very clear during the relationship or while breaking up. That way, they'll both know where they stand. Something like this should be clearly communicated.

coolguy4christ:
I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

Sirvingeo:
For her to disclose she had an abortion is a signal she loves you and want the marriage to work . Personally, I hate ladies that lacks sexual purity .

wilsonchilboy:
My brother once a hoe is always a hoe.. lemme nt lie 2 u o, me i dnt believe in love covering multitude of sin, i can 4gv but i no the 4get shii cus as time goes on it wil flash back anytime she misbehave. Trust me if i am in ur shoes i wont marry a lady who lie asf... I am nt saying i'm perfect but i alway thnk of 2maro b4 taking any action.. I put it to you that after ur wedding she wil tel u tnz that u wil jst kuku die so i wil advice u 2 discharg her nw b4 lawyers start eating ur hard earned money as filing fee and appearance fee for ur divorce matter ... God save us frm all dis hoeloshos distracting my fellow men

ednut1:
u are a mumu man.

mickeyenglish:
See eehn, I swear down, if i was your big bro or kid bro, i would have beaten the shit out of you and even if i can't, I'd definitely arrange boys for to treat your monkey ass .. I know you're about to get married hence, you're older than me definitely but sometimes, you need to be very extremely logical with life,in relation to people and the bizarre web of intricacies therein.

DON'T MARRY THAT BITCH (I'm not sorry to call her that) and there are tons of reasons for saying such.

Firstly, she's a very dangerous hypocrite. You had initiated a no-sex relationship with her. Guess what, immediately you did that, a sincere lady would have voiced out her resentment on such a stance but, she kept cool, meaning she had found a FOOL.

Secondly, she broke up with you just to get an independent sexual exploitation with her would-be baby daddy(unfortunately for her, he denied the ownership), knowing fully well that you may eventually get wind of her sexcapades.

Thirdly, it's all about psychological warfare against you, the foolish would-be husband. she knows that you're a wannade "serious and disciplined man" thus, her so-called "confession" before marriage. She knows you cherish "truth" and "fairness" hence, her little mind tricks with you, knowing that if she opens up her so-called "confessions" to you, you'd eventually admire her new truthful stance and repentance.

Fourthly,she doesn't love you one bit. She broke up with you for no reason and instantly went into another relationship. She was even audacious enough to engage in a no-protection sexcapades.

Now, my opinion :

The other cool dude she went into a relationship with after the break-up with you, is actually her lover. Here's the trick ; if the other guy had accepted the pregnancy, she would have glady been his baby mama. Unfortunately, the dude refused such ploys employed by her to tie him down and they broke up . Now, she's out in the cold and, here come the STUPID knight in shining armor(you) to her rescue.


Secondly, she most have been promiscuous even for the level of the other dude that he couldn't even trust the pregnancy if it was his or his other friends, who she might have been digging to his knowledge hence, she had to bow out of the relationship and abort the pregnancy in shame.

Thirdly, she's done with whoring and sees the negative part of it. She sees you as a naive "serious man", who doesn't know what goes on "inside life". She knows you're getting closer to getting married due to your over serious nature hence, her ploy to mentally impress you with APC's sort of CHANGE. She just wants to come and drop herself as a baggage on your life. Again, she knows the best way to eventually get you into her traps, is to come out "very clean", so that you, the DIMWIT would-be husband would start viewing her like the "virgin Mary".

Finally, your consequences :

If and when you stupidly wife the LovePeddler, she'd go back to her whoring ways in no time.
Don't be surprised that she'd even go back to that guy and his friends that initially bleeped her RAW and IMPREGNATED her, which led to the ABORTION.

You would eventually get multiple Sexually Transmitted Diseases, even HIV/AIDS, no thanks to her adulterous lifestyle.

You'd always be very judgmental about her. You'd never believe her.. You'd always doubt whatever she says till death takes on of you away..

Your children may eventually turn out to be bastards.. Snows and Sands like the Game of Thrones..

Never make a LovePeddler a housewife *TuPac Amaru Shakur

Post No Bill

Route99:
How would you have gone about making a decision if you were in his shoes? Maybe your advice will help him in future.

I know you're a coolguy4christ but your bar has been set too high especially for this girl.

The fact that she broke off with you, hooked up with another and came back to you means she doesn't fully agree with your no sex relationship status. She was just putting up to you because she liked you and know you are a good guy.

2ndly, the reason there is a white or black lie is that some lies are important while others are not, you should be able to differentiate. This girl lies to you because of who you are. She has done things shes not proud of and she knows you will not like it. Yet, to prevent doing more bad things to you (keeping a secret), she came clean. As far as I'm concerned, she is a better person than you who "claim" to be self righteous but judge other people's actions.

You set your own rules and its easy for you but you dont want to know how it is not easy for you partner. You will make a bad husband since you care only about yourself, your desires, your satisfaction and your religion.

Maybe she broke off with you because she needed sex which you didnt give. You didn't give her sex which she tried to suppress, you didn't know her problem or cared to find out or encourage her to remain celibate. You forced your lifestyle on her and expect her to suck it up.

Op, enough of the rules and being judgemental. She sounds like a stronger person than you give her credit. Work on yourself and help her become the person you want her to be or find someone without a flaw and exactly as you want. She knows you, she has put up with you, appreciate her and do the needful (end her misery ASAP).