ednut1:
a wimp and a disgrace of a man

You are going too far bro.

Igetmyown247:
I don’t see why this is an issue. You both weren’t together at the time and she even had the courage to open up to you. Why making it a big deal?

Sh!t happens, let it go. Marry her or end things with her so she can find someone else who will cherish and appreciate her.

“She lied to me” so fckn what? Who doesn’t lie?

I tire oh.

The guy is a mugu joor. All this no sex relationship, break up, she had sex and got pregnant ( evidence of multiple creampies).

Now shes back and you still talking no sex.

She'll go out and get creampied again. Siddon there dey look

makydebbie:


So the way people are judging her and calling her names here, you like abi?

If na me and I see my matter here on nairaland, I'm breaking up asap.

Hope you make a good decision though.

How would you have gone about making a decision if you were in his shoes? Maybe your advice will help him in future.

senifade:
Do you want to marry someone you can't trust? If yes, go ahead, if no then quit the relationship.

U said it all bro 100%

Honestly, I find such threads very irritating and tiring... The same recycled bullsh*t.

Y'all just turn a very simple matter into a 7 page thread... Lol. Smh.

I love her, but I don't trust her, I can't leave her, but I don't.... Blah blah blah...

Grow a bloody pair!!!!

My brother this is exactly what you wanted to know and you have known it and from the horse's mouth. For you to have wanted to know the secret means that you must have developed the mind or the heart to take anything that you heard. That is woman for you. You wanted to know the truth and that is the truth she told you. The only thing now is for you to have the mind either to forgive and go on with her or you break up with her because the only thing in marriage is either you endure or you enjoy. If you know you can't endure then you leave. She has taken responsibility of her actions by telling you the truth. If Adam had taken responsibility of what Eve did in Genesis chapter 3 verse 12 when God asked Adam if he had eaten from the fruit he instructed them not to eat, but Adam's reply means he didn't take the responsibility as the head of the family. If Adam had taken that responsibility I don't think God would have punished human kind the way He did.

And who told you the other lady you'll meet haven't had 4 abortions? That's if she tell you the truth like ur current one did

Forgive and move on since she's has come out clean, I know its difficult but she actually wants things to work when you guys eventually gets married hence she confessed her worst confession

Leave my English alone

Iziquiel:

Lol.. You're funny.
She confessed to you after your joint Bible study, I'm sure you were both having joint Bible study before she broke up with you last year and then got pregnant for another guy.
All these religious people sef, she no want sex with you but immediately she break up with you she fu.k carelessly sotay she get belle.

Continue dey do Bible study.


Btw.. I think you are a sincere person but she is far from who you are.

Thanks for the bolded...... when they're many ladies praying for men of this kind that can take a stand against sexual immorality......

ever since I realised that my kind is rare...
I no longer beg or try to make any lady stay with people....

the problem many guys like OP make...is looking for the right person in the wrong places.... go into relationships with someone who share same values with you.... especially as regard sex and faith...

he/she will abstain not because she wanna be faithful to you but because he/she wanna be faithful to God.....

1StopRudeness:



The guy is one of those over gentle guy...ddnt you see where he said he has not had sex with her or any other person....the maga is running no sex relationship with a sexually active and abortion committing lady.....if that’s not stupidity, then I don’t know what is.....

Thats almost like a line in a rap song

adanny01:


Thats why she broke up with him went and had sex with another guy, got pregnant and aborted it.

He came back to her but the deed is done and she still loves him.

People put up with other people for different reasons. She knows op is a good guy and loves him but she has her own flesh to satisfy, op failed to see her misery.

If anyone should go into a no sex relationship, he should better be planning to get married within 6months to a year or else that relationship is punishment to the other partner.

She should have declined. They obviously had an agreement. Or you prefer him to have dropped his belief cos of the relationship?

Humility017:


Thanks for the bolded...... when they're many ladies praying for men of this kind that can take a stand against sexual immorality......

ever since I realised that my kind is rare...
I no longer beg or try to make any lady stay with people....

the problem many guys like OP make...is looking for the right person in the wrong places.... go into relationships with someone who share same values with you.... especially as regard sex and faith...

he/she will abstain not because she wanna be faithful to you but because he/she wanna be faithful to God.....

I think this sums it up. There are other factors apart from love that makes a relationship or marriage work.

armadeo:



I tire oh.

The guy is a mugu joor. All this no sex relationship, break up, she had sex and got pregnant ( evidence of multiple creampies).

Now shes back and you still talking no sex.

She'll go out and get creampied again. Siddon there dey look

no sex relationships is only possible when it is the desire of both partners....

you can't force or make a guy or lady take that walk with you..... you don't force it or else...he/she will seek sexual pleasures elsewhere....

date and marry your kind.... simple. someone who share same values with u

Samuels90:
You don't have the right to say Someone doesn't deserve grace and mercy of God bcoz of their actions... Don't u ever say that again, Your reasoning proves man will always be man, judgemental and wicked. God is God, and not man. Peace!

Smh... I replied to what he wrote. Learn to read with understanding.

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

If you're not satisfied with someone who told you before marriage, what else do you need? Walk away and go marry the one you can trust.

She knows you can easily walk away at this point in time, and she told you.

Grow up or Go your way.

Route99:

I think this sums it up.

Thanks brother....
me don't mind let me marry spirit koko lady...
many gurls don do me wonders..... to be honest.

I want a woman who hates sexual immorality and even more closer to God than me..... I don't care...

nothing beats having peace of mind in your marriage and kids raised in the way of the Lord

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

Broda wey mumu....

Route99:
She should have told the whole truth the first time. If I were you, I wouldn't trust her too, cos this might not even still be the complete gist.

I have been observing the comments here but this comment here says it all with few words.Trust is the very foundation of the building called marriage.Love is just the design and outward appearances of the building which needs to be maintained.

babe discovered her womb is no longer OK, then she came out. if dude like u fall for dis trick....sorry!

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

I'll advice you not to end the relationship with her.
For her to open up to you, shows that she values you and the relationship.
Forgive her, it's in the past.
I'm talking from experience.
And please don't ever use this against her in future, no matter the situation or circumstances.

Roozzaay:
OladimejiRufai you the best. I for dash you money but my acct balance no go gree

I appreciate your words. Thanks very much. It's alright. Your commending words are enough.

She told you herself, you didn't force her, you didn't ask her, it shows, she has a conscience and she loves you.... If u can't see past her flaws, then you don't deserve her! Yes she lied because she wasn't sure you'd stay most likely the reason she told u a half truth, but she came out and told you on her own terms, forgive and move on, that's a woman with a sincere feeling for you...

Since she has told you the truth no problem, you can go ahead to marry her but let her know that she shouldn't have any thing to do with her former boy friends any more.

Route99:

She should have declined. They obviously had an agreement. Or you prefer him to have dropped his belief cos of the relationship?

Declined what exactly, when he came back to her?

She loves him, he loves her.
She wants sex, he doesn't want sex.
She got tired, she broke up, she had sex and abortion
He came back, she still loves him and took him in
He wants to marry her, she wants to marry him
He wants the truth, she gives him the truth
The truth is too bitter for him to swallow.

She has done her best, the rest is up to him.

Dating 101 - do not ask questions that the answer will be too hard to accept.

The girls main crime now is telling the truth. I am 90% sure if op leaves this girl, he is going to marry a woman that will lie to him.

Why is this generation so sick to the point nobody thinks it's the right thing to wait until married before having sex. People think it's normal to keep having sex until you are married, with this mindset many will end up in hell. Fornication and adultery is still a terrible sin in God's sight not minding the tacit approval our so called civilization places on such lifestyle, God's judgement will not abate in the least against such act. @ OP you need to pray now and allow the spirit of God lead you on what next to do, don't enter into a union as a confused entity marriage is a lifetime commitment. You can delay the marriage and have enough time to seek the face of the Lord, your wisdom and understanding can't see beyond now, what becomes of the union in the future only God can tell, so go consult him now so you wouldn't pray later.

Why have you done this is the first place? Do you even recall that?

Brodagovernor:
Going by what you narrated here, she ended the relationship at first( even though you didn't tell us the reason). Then you initiated the reconciliation. During the time you were apart, she moved on. Apparently you didn't. I know you know the truth but you have decided to live in denial. But I will tell you. She actually got pregnant to hook down the other guy, only for her to be disappointed. Out of shame, embarrassment, resentment and hatred, she aborted the pregnancy. Then you like a saviour, came back only to ask her hand in marriage. The truth is she has never been into you 100 percent. You her just her plan B if not C. I don't really understand why people are incapable of moving on and never look back. There are millions of ladies out there that can make you love drunk than what you are feeling now. I can forgive all things but definitely not infidelity, let alone one that led to abortion. The ball is your court. Its your call. You will be the one living with her.

Like a chess game, the watchers see more than the players cos they are on the outside while the players are up close.

You've seen the entire story, I initially thought she wanted sex and he gug wasnt giving her. Now that she initiated the break up it means she had another plan which bleeped up and prince charming came riding on his white horse to the rescue.

@op if you want to marry her, go ahead and stop this she lied shit. She also got bleeped too and tou arent seeing that part it's the lie that guts you.

You'll be happy, she'll be happy and nairaland will be happy. Kapish

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

Hi bro.

What if she had waited till after the marriage to reveal the truth to you, would you have preferred that?

I think you should give her the benefit of a doubt because she could have waited til then if she was just thinking about herself, but she came out beforehand barring all consequences to show that she was willing to get it right.

I believe the reason she lied to you was basically because of your hatred for abortion, so she was in a tight position and didn't just lie because it was in her nature.

But after doing it, she couldn't stand the guilt in her conscience hence her coming out, so please find in your heart to forgive her and I believe you won't regret it.

God bless.

babyfaceafrica:
There is no perfect person in this world


True,but that does not mean we should marry a liar and cheat..it is easy to forgive,but forget is another thing....there is nothing like peace of mind

She did not lie. She could not just muster courage to say it. It is not easy to be truthful at all times. The guy complaining told her to come out clean, I believe it is for him to know what he is getting into. Now she has come out completely clean and he is behaving like this. He is a LIAR for lying that he just wanted to start clean.

Talking about forgive and forget people don't know the meaning of those words. You said it is easy to forgive but not easy to forget. Forget doesn't not mean you should lose memory of the incidence. It only means when you remember the incidence, it shouldn't bring pain to you again cos you have allowed by gone to be by gone.

When you are not a mad man, why will u forget things?

adanny01:


Declined what exactly, when he came back to her?

She loves him, he loves her.
She wants sex, he doesn't want sex.
She got tired, she broke up, she had sex and abortion
He came back, she still loves him and took him in
He wants to marry her, she wants to marry him
He wants the truth, she gives him the truth
The truth is too bitter for him to swallow.

She has done her best, the rest is up to him.

Dating 101 - do not ask questions that the answer will be too hard to accept.

The girls main crime now is telling the truth. I am 90% sure if op leaves this girl, he is going to marry a woman that will lie to him.

Declined being in a no-sex relationship from the beginning, since this is your reason for her actions.

donbachi:
deputy Jesus...clap 4 ur sef.

You think every guy out there is a community dick like you.

coolguy4christ:



Read the story again before you spew rubbish

Op am sorry to say this but uhm,you're not a real nigarr and am just confused cos how on Earth will you still want to marry someone you're in a no sex relationship with but got pregnant within few moment of breakup...Think bruv,think.

who enforced the no-sex rule? You or her?

It appears to me it wasn't a mutual decision judging by a previous thread of yours where you had sex and was extremely remorseful about it.
no wonder she went to get it right after the breakup.

It's not always nice imposing your wishes on others.