midnighter:


Lol yes oh, don't worry..this Christmas you will get home and pick your own lol

hahahaha. It seems u are an Igbo person, right?

Lady, you may have to go and live with your Oyibo people . That's a socio-economic feature peculiar to them, and alien to our society. I don't know what cultural setup you exist in, but a man who does household chores is generally treated with contempt around here. It's incredibly hard to develop immunity to the opinions originating from your immediate environment cos you belong there. You think the questions we frequently have to answer in life are so simple that our answers have to be simple as well. However the contexts of these questions do not always allow for an easy decision. Do you know how embarrassing and depressing it is for a man making millions monthly to become jobless and a glorified househusband? Our society as it is now encourages men to take charge of their households, we generally get paid a lot more than women. So until our socio-economic clime changes you may want to take it easy on men that are reluctant to turning into househusbands. Note: my opinion is regarding the reluctance of men to engage in domestic activities extensively.

AwkaetitiBabe:
That's why I love oyibo mentality, he would have turned into the house husband to help you d bread winner out pending when he gets a job.

Pussywar:

Y'all still chose to be like your fathers, now you're intimidated. Pathetic

The guy is high on some white chalk....... I can't be derailed with such words..... Am a full-fledged African man and I know my culture and inheritance.

Pussywar:

When a woman talks about leaving a man...your wife will leave you too, if anyone actually stoops that low to pick you

Eyaaah, sorry ehn...
E pain you? No vex okay?

We now see reasons why you are like dis
Tell us, wen did he leave you?
Back in secondary school?

midnighter:


Exactly but how to tell if the person is normal is the problem.

They keep calling you because they know it would be difficult to find another person like that

Actually they got a professional female teacher from a skol bt the kids grades kept coming down, they had to stop her. The kids aren’t easy to handle and they kept asking for me. That’s why they kept calling me. They were like come and teach ur kids oh they are asking for u. I offered to teach them only weekends bt the parents wanted an additional week day which I cudnt afford. Lol

DrNueLpureHoney:


Nwanne m.... Even if money no dey at hand that time... Kindly borrow and do it.

Most women are just bearing men's name as their surname... But they are busy sleeping around with other men outside their marriage.

I will do same.... From my first born to my last born... If the DNA test shows negative... Trust me..... The marriage Don end be that.

Women of nowadays are smart so... The hospital and doctor we will go to for the DNA test will always differ... So she can't even try anything stupid

indeed, u are a very wise man. May ur type of man continue to live forever. U have said it all. Ka odi Nwanne!

jaxxy:


Actually they got a professional female teacher from a skol bt the kids grades kept coming down, they had to stop her. The kids aren’t easy to handle and they kept asking for me. That’s why they kept calling me. Lol

Lol exactly

/
To a real man, loss of income is equivalent to castration.

NB: I can't say the say for millennials though.

He needs a fulfilling job to make his life worthwhile.

Only those close to him will bear the brunt and in this case, that happens to be you.

/

midnighter:


Even me, with that title I called you I pity the person who will call you for any kind of serious meeting because anything they ask you you too go dey just reason one kind strange thing without even bothering to listen to the story .

The man chased the househelps away i na-ekwu okwu Holy Spirit. You are just rushing to side with the man even when the man is wrong and using your father as an example when your father didn't do what the man is doing

Hiaaa.... Nne, O gini ka umunwoke mere unu.... O bu zi ajo ihe na nwoke bu Onye Isi ezinaulo achoghi ndi oru ngoo na bee Ya?

Ya buzi na nwoke ibe m GA abuzi boi boi maka na ighi na ego adighizi?

MA na mgbe oji dI money.... Nwunye Ya ekwughi ihe o bula ooo

Nwanyi wete ego nri na mkpuru onwa Abuo.... Ogbaa na newspaper na o na ewetara ego nri.

I ain't siding anybody but the kinda advice you ladies dey give the lady no dey add up at all....... It ain't proper

Austineva:
hahahaha. It seems u are an Igbo person, right?

Yeah. Though my Igbo isn't too great do you know why the proverb I'm my signature means? I can't get a good translation anywhere

CHoccolaTE:
See another example of how women keep getting scammed with this marriage crap.

Men will never ever agree that they should be responsible for housework and childcare but ther selfish arrogant asses want women to be co-breadwinners and providers.


Op the lord is your strength. Ask yourself what he himself would do if you were the one sitting at home 24/7 not providing and not doing housework and then demanding that he should not employ house helps. Will he take it in patience and still show you love?
Or better still ask him.
Ask him if he enjoys seeing you get stressed and overworked because of his ego issues.

And the funny thing is that many men in marriages today are living like this because of the bad economy, they depend on their wives for financial support but will stubbornly refuse to help with house chores.

I have a solution for you. Don't get married. Its a scam. You will be happy without dealing with the above crap.
And get a job why you are at it. Cus living along requires money too

AfroKnight:


Bro, I tire o.





When he was flexing her and the kids, she no come here come praise am. Now things are difficult for the man, she’s casting him before strangers and all these feminazis that don’t have sense, so that they can abuse men in general.

See them insulting the man up and down.

Men, this is a lesson for you. Regardless of what they say these days, Try not to be vulnerable to a woman. It is better for your guys to call you broke than for a Nairaland nonentity feminist (who is secretly leeching on her boyfriend) to do so. The only woman that can help you without spicing it with ridicule is your mother.

This man is down and he is staving off depression but there is no love for him on these streets. Just look at the comments.

True talk.

This is why I refuse to bite my tongue on this forum - these idi0tic feminists think they have monopoly of throwing insults. They'll gather themselves and be insulting peoples fathers and husbands because they have no male figure in their miserable lives.

Men must begin speaking up and refuse to be silenced.

midnighter:


Yeah. Though my Igbo isn't too great do you know why the proverb I'm my signature means? I can't get a good translation anywhere

yeah! Which state in Igbo land are u from?

.

genq:


True talk.

This is why I refuse to bite my tongue on this forum - these idi0tic feminists think they have monopoly of throwing insults. They'll gather themselves and be insulting peoples fathers and husbands because they have no male figure in their miserable lives.

Men must begin speaking up and refuse to be silenced.

Nope I say we should just ignore them.
The trash will take itself out.

Austineva:
indeed, u are a very wise man. May ur type of man continue to live forever. U have said it all. Ka odi Nwanne!

Ya gazie Nwanne m..... Umunwaanyi ka ekwensu. Mara ihe....

Ya bu.. Gi na ha na Emeko ihe... Ikwesiri isa Anya mmiri.

Trust nobody.... I only trust myself.... women wise gan

that is good of you, but i guess you plan a faint while you are doing the work and come around in the hospital and let the doctor tell him about the second missionary journey will look like
simple and short he will give you a break

You are a good wife ,...hope you won't die before your time

I read the first page and gave up.

Farady and lewisTherin summed up my own opinion succinctly.


As usual, most of the commenters can't just move on past base gender mudslinging to actually give workable solutions.

Pathetic!!

LoudlyMouthed:

Eyaaah, sorry ehn...
E pain you? No vex okay?

We now see reasons why you are like dis
Tell us, wen did he leave you?
Back in secondary school?

Focus more on your love life. Oh, I forgot...you got none. Why would someone want to date a begging nigga? Pfft. Pathetic

DrNueLpureHoney:


Hiaaa.... Nne, O gini ka umunwoke mere unu.... O bu zi ajo ihe na nwoke bu Onye Isi ezinaulo achoghi ndi oru ngoo na bee Ya?

Ya buzi na nwoke ibe m GA abuzi boi boi maka na ighi na ego adighizi?

MA na mgbe oji dI money.... Nwunye Ya ekwughi ihe o bula ooo

Nwanyi wete ego nri na mkpuru onwa Abuo.... ogbaa na newspaper na o na eweta ego nri.

I ain't siding anybody but the kinda advice you ladies dey give the lady no dey add up at all....... It ain't proper

You're just going outside of the point...So who is going to do the work The woman is not around and the guy said he doesn't want those people so what is it again

The money is not even the point because the lady doesn't even mind supporting them. I don't know which one is boy boy in your own house for goodness sake

daddytime:
Hmmm

You sound quite loving, patient and an understanding wife, and I'd advise you keep at it while hoping he'd find a way to navigate through this present tupsy turvy which most a times are a given in every man's life.

Can't understand his motive for insisting you do the chores yourself even when you could outsource same seeing how he isn't willing to lend a hand.

I honestly feel he needs to take a breather, see things for what they are right now, make adjustments while keeping his head above water, and meeting you at a junction with all the support necessary.

Hopefully, his attitude won't push you over the edge and escalate issues.

Just be mindful of your words and keep being understanding, because anything contra will get him screaming "is it because I'm out of work now"

I see ego and irritability at play here..
I hope you guys get over this...

.

What she needs is advice, not adding salt to injury! Madam, ur husband loves u and it's his duty to protect his family. He didn't marry d house help but u, so understand this with him. There r several instances house helps destroyed homes: both males and females, they can runaway with ur kids or snatch ur hubby or gives wrong information that threatened d marriage. We had several house helps while I was growing up, but none of them dresses my dads room nor cook and serve his food, no, his wife does that. None of the ever clean nor entered my dads room. I later got to understand that one attempted to poison my dad.

Madam, don't created problems when there's none. Your husband has been taking care of u and d family before he lost his job, so do same to him pending when he get a job. Don't listen to friends, b a woman, I mean an African woman.

Obviously, ur hubby doesn't want u to quit ur job, but he want u to reciprocate, show him love, that's what he want. Don't b too bossy with ur hubby because u basically foot d bills now!

This is when he needs u and do not do anything stupid by disrespecting him. Show him love and care more than before. U said he doesn't know how to do house chores because of d circumstances of his birth, u know this fact, then why mount pressure on him, he will read meanings to it-"maybe because I have loose my job, I have become house help in my house". That should stop.

AfroKnight:


Bro, I tire o.





When he was flexing her and the kids, she no come here come praise am. Now things are difficult for the man, she’s casting him before strangers and all these feminazis that don’t have sense, so that they can abuse men in general.

See them insulting the man up and down.

Men, this is a lesson for you. Regardless of what they say these days, Try not to be vulnerable to a woman. It is better for your guys to call you broke than for a Nairaland nonentity feminist (who is secretly leeching on her boyfriend) to do so. The only woman that can help you without spicing it with ridicule is your mother.

This man is down and he is staving off depression but there is no love for him on these streets. Just look at the comments.

u have said it all

;

DrNueLpureHoney:


Ya gazie Nwanne m..... Umunwaanyi ka ekwensu. Mara ihe....

Ya bu.. Gi na ha na Emeko ihe... Ikwesiri isa Anya mmiri.

Trust nobody.... I only trust myself.... women wise gan

. I tell u. Thanks bro

Felicity001:

Now, I bath our baby, drop him in school Mon -Fri, clean, mob, wash baby cloths even most times wash my wife's, go out for my rat race hustle, pick him up in the evenings, still foot the bills. Wifi is a banker who comes back tired late and goes to work most weekend. With all of these I still get complains how I can't provide sufficiently for the family.
Women!!! Who can satisfy you people

Please sir, just forgive her. You're doing fine. No need for the outside lady...just ignore her please

Madam, ur husband loves u and it's his duty to protect his family. He didn't marry d house help but u, so understand this with him. There r several instances house helps destroyed homes: both males and females, they can runaway with ur kids or snatch ur hubby or gives wrong information that threatened d marriage. We had several house helps while I was growing up, but none of them dresses my dads room nor cook and serve his food, no, his wife does that. None of the ever clean nor entered my dads room. I later got to understand that one attempted to poison my dad.

Madam, don't created problems when there's none. Your husband has been taking care of u and d family before he lost his job, so do same to him pending when he get a job. Don't listen to friends, b a woman, I mean an African woman.

Obviously, ur hubby doesn't want u to quit ur job, but he want u to reciprocate, show him love, that's what he want. Don't b too bossy with ur hubby because u basically foot d bills now!

This is when he needs u and do not do anything stupid by disrespecting him. Show him love and care more than before. U said he doesn't know how to do house chores because of d circumstances of his birth, u know this fact, then why mount pressure on him, he will read meanings to it-"maybe because I have loose my job, I have become house help in my house". That should stop.

DrNueLpureHoney:


The guy is high on some white chalk....... I can't be derailed with such words..... Am a full-fledged African boy and I know my culture and inheritance.

African boy what's your culture? Looool.
You people will never question a culture that encourages you to treat women like rags, that's why you're full of trash. Absolutely nothing to offer because you focus more on trying so hard to control women. I pity you. Pray say you remain for this country forever with that mentality. African 'man'. Pfft. That's why you are single.

LewsTherin:

Seeing as this thread has been well derailed by those bashing men and those bashing those bashing men, I'll modify my post.


Your husband has just lost the most important thing to any man - self worth. He is depressed, he is frustrated, he is lost. He may come out of it tomorrow, he may never recover. You can take the easy way out like many so-called feminists will say and kick his behind to the curb...

...or you can honour your vows of "for better or worse till death do us part" (I am assuming you said those words).

If you choose this route, my advice (which may not work by the way) is
1. Pray for him. Constantly. That he find his way back.
2. Keep the house going to the best of your ability. It is difficult, I know. But it is possible.
3.Talk to him like there is nothing different. Ask his opinion on anything and everything. Leas him into discussions that will make him say "if it was me, I will do such and such" or "the best option would have been to do this and that". Something that will help him begin to think again, to plan again. It may help him out of his hole.
4. Keep trying to get his mother/father, closest friend, pastor he trusts to talk to him. But do not under any circumstances involve any other people that it can be said "you went to spread my news round the world". And very definitely no one from your family.

I actually have first hand experience of this so I have an idea how he feels. God help you.

Words of wisdom.

Pussywar:

African boy what's your culture? Looool.
You people will never question a culture that encourages you to treat women like rags, that's why you're full of trash. Absolutely nothing to offer because you focus more on trying so hard to control women. I pity you. Pray say you remain for this country forever with that mentality. African 'man'. Pfft. That's why you are single.

Lwkmd... Come off it young lady ..... Na married man you dey talk to....

My wife loves and respects me... So.... No shaking

UnbiasTruth

Thank God your username shows you stand with truth.

First, loving your spouse is not only by footing all the bills bla bla. Even wives want their husbands to emotionally connect with them beyond the "providing for all her needs".

So really, you can't just make everything about your work, come back home and try to impress it upon your husband and kids that "work was stressful" bla bla bla. You need to still act the mother and wife role at home. It is the work you genuinely can't handle that should be outsourced to an helper or whatever.

I have lived with a female medical doctor, who even has to work night shifts sometimes. Yet she found a way to balance the home front. She has a paid helper who she sends on market runs when she can't go herself. But she still returns home with the items herself, to come and cook for the family. However, she has found a way to incorporate her young kids (all boys) in the chores. So they are with are in the kitchen there, doing their own but, even if it is just to "call mummy when the water boils". She got a washing machine and other gadgets that make home chores easy, such that the little boys can even operate it. But when there's a pile of heavy clothes, she calls in the helper. This means the helper might only need to come around just a few times in a month.

The point here is that despite all her busy engagements, she didn't simply shift all the duties of the woman of the house onto some helper and this doesn't mean she has to work her fingers off.

Interestingly, her husband lost his job too, but she'll never even ask him to do as little as go and serve his own food from the kitchen. It is her husband that will come into the kitchen himself sometimes to give "moral support".

To say your husband stays at home all day doing nothing is even inviting trouble already. Continuing with the example above, the husband tries to engage himself as productively as possible during the day, like going out to look out for job opportunities, procuring a farm, starting and maintaining a garden, raring livestock within the garden. The wife shoulders almost all the spending needs, but she doesn't put pressure on her husband, so much so that he doesn't start reflecting on his predicament. But they are coping fine, cos there's mutual respect and the maturity of the wife in managing a dicey situation.

So please, you need to rethink this and retrace your steps where needed. He needs to see you as having his back, his pal, not some stranger, career woman.

Kind regards

SyrusdeHansome:
Op if u follow the advice given by some local feminist in this forum u may end up regretting in the future. Most of them have through bad attitude spoilt their marriages/relationships. They're trying to instigate u against ur husband nd certainly they won't be there to support u when u end up regretting. Ur husband's actions nd behaviours are simply normal. Pple react differently to problems of life because our temperaments make it so. All he needs now is ur help to make him return to the man he once was. If he nags don't nag back because it won't help. You're even favoured to have a husband who's not an abuser. With ur love nd understanding ur husband will recover nd ur marriage will be great again. Stay blessed!

the best advice ever. Kudos