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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? (41145 Views)
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Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by 7pages(m): 12:48pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
how I wish I have people like you in the family, things would have long turn around for good for me you've established the husband with millions, tried sorting jobs for the wife but ended up with nothing. despite their conditions they keep birthing kids like rabbit my dear brother the day you cease to help that family is the day they will think straight. if this had happened in the movie, they might have accused you of using their destiny perhaps that's why they're not serious and yet still getting assistant from you can you change means of communication for 6 months just for them to think straight. this is weird to me 3 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by NonFarmPayrol: 12:48pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
nlPoster: Once you give money Next time they keep coming g back Next they ask for a huge loan. Which they wont pay 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by RxSameer(m): 12:48pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
OP the best advise is to ask ur sister wat type of business she would like to go into maybe eatery,supermarket or any venture after she tells you don't give her the money directly You shud set up the business for her maybe using a middleman that is the best u shud do remember, don't give her fish teach her how to fish for her son in the university if its possible take up his education fees and skul feeding that way u will see that ur lovely cousin will not disturb or pester you for money again and as for that lazy husband who dosent av self control I don't av anytin to say to him.. |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Jaynom(m): 12:48pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
J111333:1. They've opened office on your head 2. Some how she feels entitled 3. & she is emotionally manipulating you. She's using her kids to guilt trip you! 4. Sit your cousin down and tell her u have needs too and she should understand. Bro you've done enough already. It is Only an ungrateful soul that will fail to see this. 5. Focus on the Unilag kid. When he turns 18 open a bank account for him ASAP. If u can, help him learn a profitable skill. Empower him, uplift him. Make him a revenue generating individual. 4 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by notoriousbabe: 12:49pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
nlPoster:in every way |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by notoriousbabe: 12:49pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Iwanttoto1:that's chicken change |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by lighternote: 12:49pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Op, it seems you are not married, that's why you're wasting your resources. As long as you're single and a willing ATM, your favorite cousin will continue to breed like rat until menopause. Now, run and get married and conserve your resources for your family. You're the type that will marry now, and they will start calling your wife a witch for not allowing them to milk you dry. If you're already married, kindly invest your resources for your future. And back to your question, there's NO OTHER WAY OF STOPPING THEM OTHER THAN WITHDRAWING THE FISH YOU'VE BEEN FEEDING THEIR LAZY MOUTH. IF YOU MUST HELP, LET THEIR UNDERGRAD SON OPEN AN ACC, SO YOU HELP HIM DIRECTLY. 5 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by nlPoster: 12:50pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
notoriousbabe: Not true. |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by clive2u(m): 12:50pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
help the unilag child If u can and tell her to try n take care of the rest. I find it kinda annoying seeing people with no good job having kids here and there, before u know it the husband go run leave am 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by notoriousbabe: 12:52pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
nlPoster:ok send me the money and I will prove it to you |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Nobody: 12:52pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
sisisioge: And he will take the frustration out on his innocent wife. We know how it always end Have seen it on display many times 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by realestniggah: 12:53pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
mii4u: Don't set her up.. Don't listen to this advise.. If you do you shall continue the cycle of aiding and abetting your cousin, my advise go to that child, that in the university, have a sit down explain thing to him and let him know you shall pay the school fee directly into the school account and if he need anything in future he should contact you directly. Stop depositing money into your cousin account. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by GeneralShepherd(m): 12:53pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
J111333: Isaiah 58 vs 7 Share your food with the hungry, and give shelter to the homeless. Give clothes to those who need them, and do not hide from relatives who need your help. 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Nobody: 12:53pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Good bro.... This is my suggestion.... Set aside like 5m. Fixed this 5m into ur acct and chaneg the interest for helping matter . As u said u put like 10m for their bix matter n no fruit.... Thanks. Good job bro 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by nlPoster: 12:53pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
notoriousbabe: You mean op |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Eyanbook: 12:55pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
midnighter:do what |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Pidginwhisper: 12:56pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by ctleurocollege: 12:57pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
My advice is this start investing for yourself and future kids. Afterwards, adopt one of her kids and cater for his welfare let them bear the responsibility of handling the other four. |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Biglittlelois(f): 12:58pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
foolbuster: Wow, a leech typing from experience. 5 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by notoriousbabe: 12:58pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
nlPoster:I mean you |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Iwanttoto1: 12:59pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
notoriousbabe: 1 Like |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by PeacefulT0ut(m): 12:59pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Wow, this is huge. I suggest you cut things off directly to them. Since you really love the kids, sit the eldest down and explain things on your mind to him, at least a fresher isn't a kid anymore and then you do only what you can do, quit being their exclusive. You have your own life to live. Meanwhile, Lagos residents I have a free ride for you all via Max okada.( They are the one with the yellow bikes you've been seeing around your hood). Download the max okada app from the playstore and register using OSINUBI1 as referral code. You get one free ride worth up to #1000 to take you to anyway. Please note again, I said 1 free ride and it's worth up to #1000. Kindly download the app now ( it's just 5mb from the playstore) and register using OSINUBI1 as referral code. |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by pocohantas(f): 12:59pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
You are very correct Ishi, but sometimes you look at those innocent kids and you can't ignore. I wish we have social services here. Bringing innocent kids into the world to suffer is a crime or should be a crime. Make person no do the generousity wey go land you for wahala. I am getting tougher sha. Ishilove: 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by IFELEKE(m): 1:00pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
J111333:Have you at any point in time discussed these reservations with your cousin and the husband? If no, then you need to make her understand the implications of churning babies without plan and recourse to economic realities. You may also talk about the health implications. Try involve other family members to drive home your point. As for your financial commitments to them, it's not advisable to stop, try cut your sister and the husband off while directly focusing on the children. It may not be easy but you need to show some tough love. |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by donttouchme: 1:01pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
[quote][/quote] this romance will not end well. Its better u stop |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by dominique(f): 1:02pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
I still can't phathom why people without stable means of income keep bringing in children into the world, not fair on the kids at all 9 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by notoriousbabe: 1:02pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
[quote author=Iwanttoto1 post=84380486][/quote]that's chicken change |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Sankabson(m): 1:03pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
I heard 10M! And i was dumbfolded..Like.... If I have someone like in my life, I would have achieved much more in life. Yoruba ni, Eni to lori ko fila, Eni to de ni fila ko Lori. God Bless You and direct You to the right way on this issue. You're one in a million!! 2 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Nobody: 1:03pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
J111333: if you can afford it, buy a small car for the man let him be running taxi with it. open a shop for your cousin, let her sell stuff. Tell them that's all you got. You can keep an eye out for their kids. I mean monitor their progress academically. At some point, the man and the woman ought to bear the responsibility of their fecundity. 6 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by khatea: 1:05pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Op sorry u r indirectly playing a husband role to ur cousin while her husband is ur first child den oda kids follow... Pls, can u epp me send ur cousin for BTL cos she myt come back to tell u family planning failed her? Person wey chop belleful sef never born 3kids #lips sealed# For d love of d kids especially d senior child who just got admitted into university, u can ask to speak wt his HOD to arrange wt him/her how u will be paying d fee n sending him pocket money. Biko, don't let him open any account even when he's 18yrs o to avoid mumsi borrowed my fee n promised to return it soon o Na man u be sha OP, u put money for basket so tey e reach 10M, when e reach 5M, Ur eye no open ni? God bless n replenish u for having a good heart 5 Likes |
Re: How Can I Stop Helping My Cousin Without Feeling Guilty About Her Kids? by Sparkle777(f): 1:05pm On Nov 26, 2019 |
Funny thing is that u will also take care of ur cousins grand kids too. The circle never ends, ur cuz and her husband are the type to kill ur wife one day because she's bound to stop that BS. U are an enabler and ultimately destroying them. I'll say, just stop. Stop giving them even kobo, just leave them for a year,at least a year will open ur eyes in case she has u jazzed. Hope u are saving and having investments, abi u tink I will forever be wealthier? 7 Likes 2 Shares |
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