₦airaland Forum

Fountainofyouth:
The moment the MIL allowed her daughter spend the night, she automatically made their business her business, the right thing to do is, the moment her daughter arrives her place, she should question her on what happened and send back home, in fact, the MIL will come along with her to the home and settle the dispute between the husband and wife, not allowing her spend the night without calling the husband, or is that how the wife will continue to run off to her mother whenever there is a misunderstanding? They have a kid of 8years, meaning the wife should be of age and the marriage isn't a new one so this bad attitude shouldn't be acceptable at all, as an elderly woman, the mother should have called or showed up to settle their differences.

Do you know what the daughter told the mother on why she decided to come to her place that night? She left the next morning. There are many believable reasons the daughter could have told the mum ranging from
1. Oh, I've not seen you for sometime. I want to spend the night with you and catch up. 2. Oh, I came to your area for my exam and it's late already, I will leave tomorrow morning 3. Oh, my husband travelled and will be back tomorrow. I didnt want us to stay alone 4. Etc.
Should the mother not believe her daughter and start asking to talk to her son in law to confirm if the story is true or not? A marriage of almost 10years that you've never probably put mouth in their matter before, why would you suddenly start thinking something is wrong somewhere when your daughter spent just a night with you and not a protracted stay?
If anything at all, the MIL should be annoyed that the SIL didnt call her to find out if his wife arrived safely (even though its same town), but I doubt she would be annoyed about that as it's nothing serious.

yeyeosoronga:
Do you know what the daughter told the mother on why she decided to come to her place that night? She left the next morning. There are many believable reasons the daughter could have told the mum ranging from
1. Oh, I've not seen you for sometime. I want to spend the night with you and catch up. 2. Oh, I came to your area for my exam and it's late already, I will leave tomorrow morning 3. Oh, my husband travelled and will be back tomorrow. I didnt want us to stay alone 4. Etc.
Should the mother not believe her daughter and start asking to talk to her son in law to confirm if the story is true or not? A marriage of almost 10years that you've never probably put mouth in their matter before, why would you suddenly start thinking something is wrong somewhere when your daughter spent just a night with you and not a protracted stay?
If anything at all, the MIL should be annoyed that the SIL didnt call her to find out if his wife arrived safely (even though its same town), but I doubt she would be annoyed about that as it's nothing serious.

And going by your believable reasons, with the examples you mentioned, what the MIL should have said in return is "oh, your husband allowed you to come spend the night at my place today, let me call him to thank for allowing you" and a suspicious MIL will be surprised that the husband will allow such a thing all of a sudden, something that was not pre-planned, no notification, nothing, she should be surprised that her daughter cant just show up at night for a sleepover, that should tell her she's lying, a curious MIL will call the husband to confirm if she's lying or not.

Fountainofyouth:
The moment the MIL allowed her daughter spend the night, she automatically made their business her business, the right thing to do is, the moment her daughter arrives her place, she should question her on what happened and send back home, in fact, the MIL will come along with her to the home and settle the dispute between the husband and wife, not allowing her spend the night without calling the husband, or is that how the wife will continue to run off to her mother whenever there is a misunderstanding? They have a kid of 8years, meaning the wife should be of age and the marriage isn't a new one so this bad attitude shouldn't be acceptable at all, as an elderly woman, the mother should have called or showed up to settle their differences.

Shouldn’t, should, will... acceptable and all sorts. Up to you to treat your adult child how you wish. I left my opinion. You can leave yours.

Fountainofyouth:
And going by your believable reasons, with the examples you mentioned, what the MIL should have said in return is "oh, your husband allowed you to come spend the night at my place today, let me call him to thank for allowing you" and a suspicious MIL will be surprised that the husband will allow such a thing all of a sudden, something that was not pre-planned, no notification, nothing, she should be surprised that her daughter cant just show up at night for a sleepover, that should tell her she's lying, a curious MIL will call the husband to confirm if she's lying or not.

Stop manufacturing problems in your head and give the woman a breather pls.
She can only contact the son in law if the daughter stayed more than necessary. In that case, she will know something is wrong. If they live in the same town and close by, why won't she visit her?
Also, if the husband's family is living close by, there are times they or he can go and sleep over.

The man purposely insulted his MIL, that's why people called him out. He also left his house which is on fire and started pursuing rats.
His wife is sulking over something and he knows. He should do the needful. He don't have a case.
See how people ruin their marriage by being unnecessarily egotistical and stubborn

Until nairaland helps you to divorce your wife, then you will know that anybody can be a single parent. Your hatred towards your mother in-law is so obvious, I pray it doesn't consume you. That your friend that is advising you, I hope his house is in order.

baby124:
Shouldn’t, should, will... acceptable and all sorts. Up to you to treat your adult child how you wish. I left my opinion. You can leave yours.

Typical, they only bring up the "opinion" ish when they have no valid response.

sassysure:
Stop manufacturing problems in your head and give the woman a breather pls.
She can only contact the son in law if the daughter stayed more than necessary. In that case, she will know something is wrong. If they live in the same town and close by, why won't she visit her?
Also, if the husband's family is living close by, there are times they or he can go and sleep over.

The man purposely insulted his MIL, that's why people called him out. He also left his house which is on fire and started pursuing rats.
His wife is sulking over something and he knows. He should do the needful. He don't have a case.
See how people ruin their marriage by being unnecessarily egotistical and stubborn

Hello, I am yet to see where she manufactured problems in her head, she only brought out possible scenarios from the person she quoted who obviously gave scenarios, how come you didn't see that? Smh,

He didn't insult the MIL, he only asked a question and people countered him with their thoughts, I wonder why no one saw where he actually apologised for not calling her, but chose to capitalize on something that is a non issue, yes her mother should have called to ask why her daughter decided to spend the night all of a sudden, that is the rational thing to do.

Biglittlelois:
Hello, I am yet to see where she manufactured problems in her head, she only brought out possible scenarios from the person she quoted who obviously gave scenarios, how come you didn't see that? Smh,

He didn't insult the MIL, he only asked a question and people countered him with their thoughts, I wonder why no one saw where he actually apologised for not calling her, but chose to capitalize on something that is a non issue, yes her mother should have called to ask why her daughter decided to spend the night all of a sudden, that is the rational thing to do.

I have been following their debate from the onset. The poster don't want any other opinion except one that will crucify the MIL. One of posters who previously blamed the MIL on seeing subsequent post of the original poster retracted. I think he will be happy and satisfied if we all label the MIL home breaker and a witch afterall that's why she was a single parent.

Gaggi:
Well, some men will always be the skirt in a relationship, whether we like it or not. Tough luck.

Is it right for a husband to treat his wife in this manner?

akoraye:
Nairalanders I will like to go straight to my point in order not to waste your time. I'm married with children, my wife is the only child of her single mother, we used to have little issues since our wedding which I believe it's a natural thing in marriage and I have been managing them. My wife is not a wayward type which I've confirmed to some extent but a very stubborn one. Straight to the point now! last three weeks she traveled for an exam and I went to work that morning after 3 hours that she left,she called me to challenge me that I've not deem it fit to call her to know how she is doing and she dropped the call immediately she accused me, I picked my phone Immediately to apologise to her which decided not to pick my call till she came back. Since then she has started to behave arrogantly at home and I didn't want to report the issue to her mother. Three days ago I went to a friend's party/ceremony which she knew about and I came back around 9:25pm only to meet my house door locked and my wife was no where to be found, I decided not to call her because I was quite sure she has gone to her mother's house to sleep (first time since our wedding though) She eventually came back the following morning and went straight to her shop which I built for her in front of the house without even coming inside if I'm there or not. I just kept my calm, expecting her mother's action about it because I believe courtesy demands her mother to ask me why her daughter could do such but up till now the mother has not asked me anything which I told a friend which my friend told me to exercise patient but I'm not convenient of her arrogance at home. Please advise me because I don't want do any stupid thing but I'm infuriated which I'm finding difficult to calm.

Let's leave your MIL aside.

I don't understand your story.

Three weeks ago, your wife was angry that you did not call her 3hrs after she left for her exams and dropped the call.

She didn't pick your subsequent calls and the matter died.

18 days later, she just left to her mother's place and slept over without any issue.

Why do I find this strange?

If she slept in her mother's place when the incidence happened, I would say that she was overhappy and misbehaved.

But to leave the house 18 days later as regards what happened? And she showed no sign of continued annoyance those 18 days? No prior fight (for someone you allege is very stubborn)? No shouting match etc.?

There is definitely more to this story.

Mr man, u are a kid. I repeat with a very loud voice, u are kid. The way u fooled and insult your mother in law here simply means u have a wicked or a wrong heart towards her. Her status was not what started the quarrel between u and ur wife. it is only children that blame others when they are at fault

Truth be told, u don't like your mother in law, one day u are going to insult her in her presence or in present of your wife. Settle it in your heart, u will keep blaming your mother in law when something happen

U are selling your wife dignity to your so called nonsense friend who is a bad adviser, check his home, I won't be surprised if that your friend is not doing well in his marriage

Humble yourself, go and apologize to your wife, don't make it look like u are trying to know where she slept, act like a man who truly have a special kind of love towards his wife

Billionsclub:
Mr man, u are a kid. I repeat with a very loud voice, u are kid. The way u fooled and insult your mother in law here simply means u have a wicked or a wrong heart towards her. Her status was not what started the quarrel between u and ur wife. it is only children that blame others when they are at fault

Truth be told, u don't like your mother in law, one day u are going to insult her in her presence or in present of your wife. Settle it in your heart, u will keep blaming your mother in law when something happen

U are selling your wife dignity to your so called nonsense friend who is a bad adviser, check his home, I won't be surprised if that your friend is not doing well in his marriage

Humble yourself, go and apologize to your wife, don't make it look like u are trying to know where she slept, act like a man who truly have a special kind of love towards his wife

Apologize for what exactly??

So many people with a false sense of importance sha...

bukatyne:
Is it right for a husband to treat his wife in this manner?

People will always treat you like shiit if you allow them. Men should assert their authority. I'm not saying one should become a dictator but a man is the head and should act like one.
My philosophy is I either stand my ground and the woman falls in line or we part ways, it's as simple as that. There will always be a woman for me who understands what it means to be a reasonable wife.

akoraye:
Nairalanders I will like to go straight to my point in order not to waste your time. I'm married with children, my wife is the only child of her single mother, we used to have little issues since our wedding which I believe it's a natural thing in marriage and I have been managing them. My wife is not a wayward type which I've confirmed to some extent but a very stubborn one. Straight to the point now! last three weeks she traveled for an exam and I went to work that morning after 3 hours that she left,she called me to challenge me that I've not deem it fit to call her to know how she is doing and she dropped the call immediately she accused me, I picked my phone Immediately to apologise to her which decided not to pick my call till she came back. Since then she has started to behave arrogantly at home and I didn't want to report the issue to her mother. Three days ago I went to a friend's party/ceremony which she knew about and I came back around 9:25pm only to meet my house door locked and my wife was no where to be found, I decided not to call her because I was quite sure she has gone to her mother's house to sleep (first time since our wedding though) She eventually came back the following morning and went straight to her shop which I built for her in front of the house without even coming inside if I'm there or not. I just kept my calm, expecting her mother's action about it because I believe courtesy demands her mother to ask me why her daughter could do such but up till now the mother has not asked me anything which I told a friend which my friend told me to exercise patient but I'm not convenient of her arrogance at home. Please advise me because I don't want do any stupid thing but I'm infuriated which I'm finding difficult to calm.

Women don't just react to issues with out having an underlying cause

There must be an issue bothering in the marriage that you as the head refuse to give consent to or pay attention to

The more you delay domestic issues that affects both of you by nit resolving it, the more the issues will lay eggs like bed bugs and spread round the house

Look into this marriage from day one, those issues that have been causing problems, both of you must take it to the drawing board and solve it like additional mathematics

After that, peace will reign

Marriage in a course that women understand better than men

So please sit her down and jot down the issues of this marriage and get it resolved irrespective of who wins

Reporting her to her family might not be of help because she has not committed any crime like adultery with prove

Women knows how to win family quarrel because the home nitty gritty is in their finger tips

crackhaus:


This is why I love being around people with a very peculiar orientation.

If that woman was married to some people I know, she will continue sleeping in her mother's house until the same mother calls to ask what is going on... then the family meeting can commence from there.



The first question they will ask the mother is, what kind of responsible mother receives her married daughter into her home for the night without at least calling up her son-in-law to confirm his knowledge of it?

U too get braiiiinnn, am one of those people.

I won't even say a word, I just trust myself Dat she would nt slp in Dat ous not until I recv a call from the top.

even me as a man I can't leave home without prior notice talk more of Iyawo ile

stubbornness my foot.

OlawaleBammie:
U too get braiiiinnn, am one of those people.

I won't even say a word, I just trust myself Dat she would nt slp in Dat ous not until I recv a call from the top.

even me as a man I can't leave home without prior notice talk more of Iyawo ile

stubbornness my foot.

I tell you man.

Some of these new-age women want to carry Hollywood film behaviour into an African man's home.

Raw-bish

crackhaus:
I tell you man.

Some of these new-age women want to carry Hollywood film behaviour into an African man's home.

Raw-bish

And dey forget to realize that those Hollywood actors and actresses are not Hollywood themselves.

[s]

Fountainofyouth:
And going by your believable reasons, with the examples you mentioned, what the MIL should have said in return is "oh, your husband allowed you to come spend the night at my place today, let me call him to thank for allowing you" and a suspicious MIL will be surprised that the husband will allow such a thing all of a sudden, something that was not pre-planned, no notification, nothing, she should be surprised that her daughter cant just show up at night for a sleepover, that should tell her she's lying, a curious MIL will call the husband to confirm if she's lying or not.

[/s]

[s]

Fountainofyouth:
The moment the MIL allowed her daughter spend the night, she automatically made their business her business, the right thing to do is, the moment her daughter arrives her place, she should question her on what happened and send back home, in fact, the MIL will come along with her to the home and settle the dispute between the husband and wife, not allowing her spend the night without calling the husband, or is that how the wife will continue to run off to her mother whenever there is a misunderstanding? They have a kid of 8years, meaning the wife should be of age and the marriage isn't a new one so this bad attitude shouldn't be acceptable at all, as an elderly woman, the mother should have called or showed up to settle their differences.

[/s]

[s]

Zuguluzugulu:
lol bro I dey feel you die
if he's a tribalist deal with him I'm glad I'm now winning souls
helinues come and see my colleague
TRIGITIS omenka Simplyleo

[/s]

EmptyCoconutHead:

bro stop giving this mofo any attention. he is doing that to provoke you and get you banned

Be wary. Leave him with our lord's job ( cancelling)

Kudos to the mods for being proactive this week

helinues:
bro stop giving this mofo any attention. he is doing that to provoke you and get you banned

Be wary. Leave him with our lord's job ( cancelling)

Kudos to the mods for being proactive this week

thanks bro.
cos he was trailing my former account up and down and I was provoked and before u know it I was banned.
you know the drill.
thanks anyway.
dude is just jobless

EmptyCoconutHead:
thanks bro.
cos he was trailing my former account up and down and I was provoked and before u know it I was banned.
you know the drill.
thanks anyway.
dude is just jobless

You see

He derives job in getting others banned

The guy is behind the see below ( Bet9ja) porn pictures and also Frank Website designers

His survival depends on NL.

Try and make more comments.. he will be frustrated to attack you an voila draw the attention of the mods

5 new accounts already gone today