I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating - Romance (9)

I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating - Romance (9) - Nairaland

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Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by divineappo(m): 9:50am On Dec 03, 2019

the op is a real gold digger. she works a normal job with very low income probably, but wants a man that works an abnormal job with very high income most definitely. las las, the op will marry the wrong person, and return to social media in future with stories. Am sure she had met the right guy, and looked down on him

My observation

4 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by slimjohn2k5: 9:51am On Dec 03, 2019

When u get to 28 your brain will reset

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by joyandfaith: 9:51am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.

Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

premarital sex ruins relationships. some unmarried couples even engage in sexual intercourse than married ones. God, the originator of marriage, has set standard standards regarding sex and marriage. if we ignore those standards , we will reap consequences of our actions. Gal 6:7. This is not about christianity as religion but that is normal thing. most cultures, until advent of crazy civilisation, valued chastity and they enjoyed stable relationships. Any book on sex,dating and marriage that are not in tune with what God say is not acceptable.

7 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 9:51am On Dec 03, 2019*

Harlequeen:
Wow! Real mature! Oya, clap for yourself.

Here's just my advice.

Stop searching for love.

True love is what happens to you when you are not looking.

You can't tell your heart who to fall in love with.

When it's true love, all inhibitions disappear. Even your criteria will begin to look childish to you.

Free your mind. Spend the time you have to yourself developing yourself and preparing yourself spiritually, physically, and career - wise. Don't waste the time hunting for guys.

Because, falling in love is like falling asleep.

If you have insomnia and can't sleep at night, stressing about it or trying to force yourself to sleep will always prove counter productive.

But once you take your mind off it and you pick up a book to read, you'll fall asleep easily.

Same thing with love. Take your mind off it and watch the magic happen.

Going to a high brow area to search for men is beneath the dignity of any woman.

Wealth may be part of your criteria but you need to understand that even Dangote can go broke.

Besides, there are a lot of people who live very fake lives for example the infamous Invictus Obi.

You surely don't want to be in his wife's shoes right now, do you?

All the best.

6 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by kponkedenge(m): 9:52am On Dec 03, 2019*

Harlequeen:
sent you a dm

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by philsbaba: 9:53am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed.

so this is all you have to offer huh

This is all you have to offer for all that great characteristics you mentioned in that post..... Sorry oo, but the type of man you want would never want you angry

4 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by starpower(m): 9:53am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.

Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

To be honest, if you are an hard working Nigerian, which there are few of us probably will have issues finding like minds. Have been like this for a while and very much accommodating of my situation. All the ladies want money, some likely dont need money but not ambitious. Now I just keep enjoying myself like my dad advice. You will survive it, it cost something to be different. You enjoying sex, lol.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by blazerinno(m): 9:53am On Dec 03, 2019

You’re smart and that’s not a bad thing. You don’t have to only use your head when it comes to relationships though. Besides the whole requirements and all, a truly blissful relationship starts from the heart. Once that’s true and he ticks all other boxes, and he feels the same way, then go ahead. Keep looking. Don’t desperately seek. Do other things you love to do. Start building your career in whatever. You’ll find a man eventually. We’re plenty in the world.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by robertmugabe: 9:53am On Dec 03, 2019

AK481:
Pm me let’s collabo

oleeeeeeee.....lol

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 9:54am On Dec 03, 2019

lilwetdick:
so men living in highbrow areas dont hurt women, they dont chop and run..lol

.. You dey mind the mumu? Most of the time, all they want is a rich man. Simple. They can use deceptive terms such as "ambitious", and so forth to conceal their shameless thirst for money.

4 Likes 3 Shares

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by sophy17(m): 9:55am On Dec 03, 2019

It is usually a long road to success. No short cut. You must be ready to persevere. You must also be sure that you are on the right track because some long roads too are long because its the wrong route. To achieve this, you must interact contnuously with real neutral people who are doing well in their relationship or marriage to guide and nurtute you. It is not a one off solution or advice.

Take note of "neutral" . By this, I mean avoid advice from people whose advice can be tainted or biased for some reasons= ties, religion etc.
Lastly, you need to relax, what do you mean by broke guys? you must be open minded to try new things. Thats when you learn first hand.
Goodluck.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by CHoccolaTE: 9:56am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen

In threads like this many men will come and tell you to lower your standards and settle for broke subpar guys, infact you will see hundreds of likes on such idiotic posts but when a guy starts a similar thread to this one his fellow men will come in to encourage him and tell him to marry financially independent woman and avoid broke leeches. Somehow it's ok for women to settle for useless guys but men must marry quality women.

My dear find a man you like and will be happy with, go into rich circles, they are there, you sound like you are staying with the wrong crowd, hang out with those who are wealthy and established, up your fashion game, wear neat trendy and classy clothes, shoes and hairdo. You can join a club where rich people are much, find one in your town.
Dont knock down the option of marrying an African American or a Nigerian based abroad who wants a wife, try and find these people too. And widowers too, try them.You sound like you are not so outgoing, sorry if I am wrong.

Ask your friends to connect you if they know any guy with your criteria.

A very extroverted girl will have no problem finding a rich guy to take care of her, I see them everywhere here in my state, even girls that are not so good looking have rich, hard working and established men paying their bills and keeping them in money while in relationshils.

3 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by philsbaba: 9:56am On Dec 03, 2019

Erums:
Im postive you got good features, but this doesn't bless a man.... Be mindful

the gold digger Wan reap where she no sow...... Rubbish angry

1 Like

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by healthserve(m): 9:57am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
i never said i was going to stay away from you

We both know ourselves. By now you should see it clearly i know who you are. You see how i pushed for your thread to move to front page for wider audience.

Accept my counsel, accept Christ, denounce those issues, seek a prophet.

" The answers you seek, God has them, i told you in the past, i'm repeating it here again "

Find God, Find Peace !

3 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by FantasticJ: 9:57am On Dec 03, 2019

GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places.

Did you grab his balls?

I'm sure if you grab his balls he will leave you be.

1 Like

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by coming2america: 9:57am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I'm very average in looks, but full of self esteem. Some nairalanders even think i am ugly,but they are entitled to their opinion and poor taste.

Sooooo, fine sef you no even fine..u dey list criteria upandan.

What makes you even feel that any accomplished man will want a plain jane like you?

Shilloh 2027 beckoms, for you.

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by BobbyGG: 9:58am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague.

Meaning you have a problem and you are here to waste a responsible man. If you have this thought then you have many options ahead don’t complain. Maybe the man you reject at 25 will come and take shot at 39 with too much money without love. If visa easy watin u Dey wait for travel see your dream man abroad

2 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Lonelypacifist6: 9:59am On Dec 03, 2019

luminouz:
This weekend?

Nooooooooooo! Make I holla you on the other side!

On the OP, I dont give two fuqs,just thought you would connect the dots.

Wanna know who? meet me on a dead thread.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nnemuka(f): 10:00am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Godbless ?your dad
having stable finance and a career is what u need before marriage

1 Like

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by luminouz(m): 10:00am On Dec 03, 2019

Lonelypacifist6:
Wanna know who? meet me on a dead thread.

Lol...ok

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 10:00am On Dec 03, 2019*

Harlequeen:
thanks, but everyone marries for a selfish reason, and there is nothing wrong with that

That line alone says alot and could be the reason why you keep attracting the same calibre of people. I could easily define with reasonable accuracy the vicinity in which your philosophy of life draws power from and tbh, I do not think that the kind of guy you envision will share up to half the same values as you do.

I think you should make a note of what your values are and then compare them visavis people who hold similar values as yours and see if a pattern exists in the outcome of your social life and theirs.

If a similarity exists, then you have a decision to make.

4 Likes

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by ednut1(m): 10:00am On Dec 03, 2019

With all these requirement be ready to die single

1 Like

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by anonimi: 10:00am On Dec 03, 2019

Azmanaty:
Ugly girls do shit the most. U are one of them

https://www.delightfulquotes.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/Before-you-say-something-stop-think.jpg

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by BigBizzy(m): 10:01am On Dec 03, 2019

There is rule to love or relationship....just flow with it as it comes.

those who drop rules are in real life very much single and lonely.

you must be flexible very much to be in a relationship

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Celense(m): 10:01am On Dec 03, 2019

Young lady, you are still 25.....yes world is still revolving around you...its normal. When African women are between the age of 20-25 probably 26, 27 yrs, they will feel they are still beautiful and young but seize to remember that world is not a bed of roses. You get to find out by the time they clock 28,29,30 years of age, the thought of getting married comes to their mind & they would try to curtail/ adjust their lifestyle....My dear, We don't get all we need in life. Forget about carreer and your so called standard. Irrespective of force men and doctors, they are still other men that are doing legal stuffs. Everybody cannot fit into your own standard. Just look out for a man of good potentials...... Understanding is the ultimate in any relationship. Am not saying you should rush into marriage, just take yourself and ask God to help you make the right decision. You wont allow anybody to have access to you unless he's comitted....well, its your decision/life. But the fact remains that if you keep on chasing/ blocking people in your life, time shall come you will look for them, you won't see them again.

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.

Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen(op): 10:01am On Dec 03, 2019

healthserve:
We both know ourselves. By now you should see it clearly i know who you are. You see how i pushed for your thread to move to front page for wider audience.

Accept my counsel, accept Christ, denounce those issues, seek a prophet.

" The answers you seek, God has them, i told you in the past, i'm repeating it here again "

Find God, Find Peace !

thanks

1 Like

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by brightology3: 10:04am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.

Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

you my type of lady but for the religion aspect.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by ednut1(m): 10:04am On Dec 03, 2019

divineappo:
the op is a real gold digger. she works a normal job with very low income probably, but wants a man that works an abnormal job with very high income most definitely. las las, the op will marry the wrong person, and return to social media in future with stories. Am sure she had met the right guy, and looked down on him

My observation

no mind am. By the time they deal with her finish she will wake up. Every calibre of ladies (broke, rich, fine, sexy, ugly, tall short ladies)want a rich and successful man. The men who fit that table know this and will most times catch their funs and not take your shit too. Many women with standards will end up as old cargo and single at 35. They will now settle for a man they will pay his bills last last

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by abdullkabar(m): 10:04am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.

Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

@Harlequeen, since you have spotted a problem with your standard for a man(definitely there is)
Maybe a man with all the standard you want is out there or maybe not. I think you are being too smart for your own good (on your own words). There are over a million people in Nigeria with different characteristics, the possibility of you meeting someone with all your preferred characteristics in one person is rare. Why? Because we grow(you should leave a buffer space, of if the person isn't all your standards complete)
And again you can't really tell a persons full story or their features 100% by mere observing(at least not mine)
Am very sure you have met the right person and have let him go just because you couldn't see your wanted character in him(which could be there or not)
You have made yourself believe you are perfect, and you are looking for a perfect person. The truth is nobody is, we grow
The world we find our self is what we live by
What am trying to say is reduce your standard(don't allow yourself to use a system you created to hurt yourself, there are other things that will hurt you out there, don't be part of them)
Keep your standard to yourself, don't measure other people with it. There are lots of nice people with different characteristics out there

I also had my standards I wanted in a lady sometimes ago but I think I don't really care now. As long as she's beautiful, well mannered, caring, wifely, motherly, not miserly, supportive and wareva but I know she will have her weaknesses, I also do. Just be careful with your laid standards
I think you should be more interested in somebody that will never misuse any opportunity that comes their way. All you have to do is help him see the opportunity
With all said(typed), Reality will play its part
And Reality ain't always fun

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Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by khalidx: 10:05am On Dec 03, 2019

GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places.

this your moniker grin

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by frankson1(m): 10:05am On Dec 03, 2019

GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places.

I used to be like this too. In fact, there was nothing anyone could do to satisfy me until I faced reality which is "you cannot find a complete and perfect person"...

But with time and understanding as she grows older she will get to loosen up a bit but not totally letting her guard down.

Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by luminouz(m): 10:07am On Dec 03, 2019

Harlequeen:
oya guese

Lol,

If you are who I think you are, I'm keeping my guesses to myself.

I wish you luck though

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