| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by pocohantas(f): 10:07am On Dec 03, 2019 |
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| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by AreaFada2: 10:07am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Babe hear this: nothing is guaranteed anyone. Not even a happy marriage. Let no pastor or anyone bamboozle you. You will have to try to make it work. Getting a guy with all the criteria you set still guarantees you nothing. You think a guy with those qualities will not attract other women too? He can even change if he doesn't feel fulfilled in his marriage to you. Do you tick all the boxes a man with such "angelic qualities" might want in return honestly? Look at most of the saints in early Christian era. Like Paul, Matthew, etc. Most were sinners who changed for the better. A good guy is one that is able to improve his character and grow into the responsibilities of being a husband and dad. Many girls will tell you "go girl, keep the high standards", "give red card to mediocres", etc. But how are they themselves faring in their marriages or relationships??  Just like you have done now, many of those ladies hailing you now will tomorrow use a new moniker to lament their woes here, Fact is NOBODY is living in marital or relationship paradise. Even though many appear outwardly to do so. It is wisdom, humility, patience and hope. Being able to make lemonade from your lemon is a key part of happiness. Look at the sincerity, honesty, dreams, character and potential of a guy you meet. Do not rush. Take your time to know him. DO NOT be blinded by glamour, money, status etc. If you have even half the qualities you have set and carry yourself well (not like pretty but frown face ladies we see about), a very good guy will locate you. Good luck. 14 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by CHoccolaTE: 10:08am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague. @bold Many of them are blockheads that dont listen, that's how they get married and retard_ their family's progress with their lazy and stubborn natures. I know one like that, an old family friend, he' very jobless but will remain inside house 24/7 waiting for his wife to hustle and bring money because he knows she won't let her kids starve. When they married he was doing uber work before his car got stolen and since then the guy packed up and refused to be useful to himself. If the woman tries to convince him to start up something he gets angry and starts frowning face as if she is disturbing him. Housework he no dey do, money he no dey bring, he doesn't even go job hunting. Just waiting for woman to feed him everyday. Na that kain man woman go poison out of frustration people will start saying she is very wicked. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by ElGood: 10:08am On Dec 03, 2019 |
U will hardly see a free guy with this standard, there is always a lady attending to his need both at his early stage of career and at the stabilized stage of his career. U just have to be ready for any scenario,because getting right man doesn't guarantee a smooth relationship. From your writeup I can see u r not truly matured to handle a relationship because you never consider how complicated relationships are. My advice is go n include tolerance n understanding into the standard u have set for ur self in case u finally fall for a man n later u start seeing some different things. 4 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by imitateMe(m): 10:09am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
Yes i am. I am feminine, soft, good company, intelligent, just starting out my career, well read and so much more. The man who i end up with will be truly blessed. Continue deceiving yourself there. If you're not beautiful, you'd have a really hard time getting the right man. Men don't fancy women who THINK they are intelligent. In my opinion, all women are dumb. Only a very good chess player knows this. Women only replicate information, they don't create new ideas. Weak creatures. 7 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by AdemolaA2: 10:09am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
Thanks But she’s not got all of these qualifications yet and she’s this opinionated , now imagine if she eventually get all of these qualifications...Do the maths bro !!! |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by musicwriter(m): 10:09am On Dec 03, 2019 |
@all you girls.
Normally not in this type of thread but I feel I should drop you girls an advise.
1. That you met someone rich today, is not a guarantee that the person will continue to be rich for life or even in few years ahead. Yes, you may marry a rich man today but he could become really poor tomorrow.
2. Some times, if not most times, you'll actually not be able to identify a rich person even if he's right there in your face. A rich guy would actually appear as if he has less, and guys with less would most likely appear to you girls as though they have more.
3. Sisters, there's no guarantee for anything in life. A rich man could become a poor man tomorrow and a poor man could become a rich man tomorrow. Life is not mathematics that could be worked out in advance.
So, even if the OP may be on the right track, but its still not a guarantee that she'll nail the right man.
It must be difficult for you girls but all you have to do is use common sense and hope for the best. 12 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Emmanuelhector(m): 10:10am On Dec 03, 2019 |
proud and pride |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Godsknight(m): 10:11am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I'm very average in looks, but full of self esteem. Some nairalanders even think i am ugly,but they are entitled to their opinion and poor taste. babe , all I see here is delusion of grandeur, not self esteem. I know your type. you will finally end up with the available when the preferable is not available. 7 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by toni4691: 10:11am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Contact me privately |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 10:11am On Dec 03, 2019 |
luminouz:
This weekend? 
Nooooooooooo! Make I holla you on the other side!
On the OP, I dont give two fuqs,just thought you would connect the dots. Alright. |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Duru009(m): 10:12am On Dec 03, 2019 |
I understand you....
My advise is this; you are not perfect yourself or the man you are looking for. Avoid been too selected is very very dangerous even at your age. If you see SOME signs, please go ahead!! |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by femi4: 10:12am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.
I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job
My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.
Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.
But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?
To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment? Too many criteria up there ......unfortunately you attract who you are. You don't do religion yet you want trustworthy and ambitious person, your wants and your believe doesn't add up. Drop your guards and let your man find you....and yes He won't possess 100% everything listed up there 2 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Nobody: 10:15am On Dec 03, 2019 |
nigeriagospel:
from your write up I know who you are already since you said you don't want your real handle expose, we once chat on WhatsApp, about me writing you a song, don't be too quick to push people away, I was amazed by your intelligent ,if you are the one you are currently doing your masters in a university somewhere in the north, you are not proud of your look and you feel inferior about it which is wrong, I saw your pics already and
some negative comments from some guys on this forum, try to give people a chance to prove the self, the ration was for songwriting and who told you we can't know each other better beyond that? Hope you are cool? I know say these kind girls no dey fine. It's usually one bonga fish looking creature that would build funny expectations in her head and think that life owes her something extraordinary. Imagine the audacity of assuming that some guy would masturbate to her useless picture! Beautiful girls that are in hot demand in the market usually don't have time for this nonsense. They are too busy living their lives as they should. 7 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Shashar: 10:16am On Dec 03, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE:
Harlequeen
In threads like this many men will come and tell you to lower your standards and settle for broke subpar guys, infact you will see hundreds of likes on such idiotic posts but when a guy starts a similar thread to this one his fellow men will come in to encourage him and tell him to marry financially independent woman and avoid broke leeches. Somehow it's ok for women to settle for useless guys but men must marry quality women.
My dear find a man you like and will be happy with, go into rich circles, they are there, you sound like you are staying with the wrong crowd, hang out with those who are wealthy and established, up your fashion game, wear neat trendy and classy clothes, shoes and hairdo. You can join a club where rich people are much, find one in your town.
Dont knock down the option of marrying an African American or a Nigerian based abroad who wants a wife, try and find these people too. And widowers too, try them.You sound like you are not so outgoing, sorry if I am wrong.
Ask your friends to connect you if they know any guy with your criteria.
A very extroverted girl will have no problem finding a rich guy to take care of her, I see them everywhere here in my state, even girls that are not so good looking have rich, hard working and established men paying their bills and keeping them in money while in relationshils. Pls allow your pussy to rest,ashawo no be work...#Look for a job 7 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by digitaltrades: 10:17am On Dec 03, 2019 |
GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places. Telling him will help him to see where he is lagging behind so that he can make necessary amends, not necessarily to please or be acceptable to you, but to make himself better |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by 04kaa: 10:17am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.
I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job
My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.
Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.
But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?
To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment? ''I dont Like Sex''.... This is where your problem lies, you are abnormal and u are a boring human being.., All men like to come and have orgasm. |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by PassingShot(m): 10:18am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.
I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job
My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.
Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.
But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?
To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment? Nothing is wrong with you. You are going about it the right way. Don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself else someone will take advantage of you. Don't lower your standards as well. There are too many lazy youths waiting at corners to take advantage of good women like you. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by CHoccolaTE: 10:18am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Shashar:
Pls allow your pussy to rest,ashawo no be work...#Look for a job You sef dey stay for house at night instead of going for armed robbery every night. Armed robber no be work. #dont get lynched after you get caught robbing. |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by pocohantas(f): 10:19am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Laurene:
I'm sure you are one of those online feminists. Are you Poco? Karma don catch up with you. Yea, it is me. I said it last week that I would create alternates to be dropping threads like this- just for fun. As for Karma? C'mon, I am smarter than that. I have a good girl account on NL. I find it intriguing how men can be attracted to same woman... A little pretence here and there, you are good to go.  3 Likes |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Greatview: 10:19am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
I am not under 25 sister, and your christian dogma won't sit with me. If i do become 35 and remain unmarried, i have decided that i will live life, adopt a child and get a boytoy. I have tasted what it is like to settle for a random guy(to be egging on a full grown man on what to do like his mother). Will never go through that again.
But thanks for your opinion but i will be avoiding Shiloh like the plague. You are too proud for your own good |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Princewill1(m): 10:19am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Harlequeen:
my mother had those standards. You're an Alfa female and not far way from being a feminist. I would advise you to start planning to adopt a child as you earlier stated because finding a perfect match is highly unlikely here. The odds are slim in this part of the world. Or better still relocate abroad to find a white date, as Chimamanda did. The Whites will appreciate you the more. This is Africa! there are certain ways women are expected to behave. The guy you are looking for may accept you but his family wouldn't. 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by koning: 10:20am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Women and dreams. Can you match the standard you set? just don't overrate yourself. 2 Likes 
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| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Spatta: 10:20am On Dec 03, 2019 |
GrabHisBalls:
The thing is that you have raised a standard for yourself. Perhaps, if you're patient enough, he'll come around. I'm in same shoes as you. Infact, I have one that has been disturbing me of marriage but he's just not my type. He knows he's not and has confronted me citing not being up to what I want but I refused to state the major reason why I won't accept to date or marry him 'cause I don't want him feeling less. I just believe that with time, things will fall in pleasant places. Whose type are you? Cheap things who have nothing and claiming a man is not their type? Poverty stricken children of mongrel women. They are pathetically poor and want the man to be rich while assessing him with zero purse claiming He is not my type |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Taiwo20(m): 10:20am On Dec 03, 2019 |
go look for someone in the IT industry. Theres no perfect person. Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.
I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job
My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.
Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.
But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.
I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?
To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment? |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by ednut1(m): 10:21am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Princewill1:
You're an Alfa female and not far way from being a feminist.
I would advise you to start planning to adopt a child as you earlier stated because finding a perfect match is highly unlikely here. The odds are slim in this part of the world. Or better still relocate abroad to find a white date, as Chimamanda did. The Whites will appreciate you the more. This is Africa! there are certain ways women are expected to behave. The guy you are looking for may accept you but his family wouldn't. chimamanda is married to a black Nigerian 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Harlequeen: 10:23am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Timileyin1234:
U meant no insult. Why didn’t u put question mark in that ur sentence i thought i did. I.am sorry once again |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by ednut1(m): 10:23am On Dec 03, 2019 |
pocohantas:
Yea, it is me. I said it last week that I would create alternates to be dropping threads like this- just for fun.
As for Karma? C'mon, I am smarter than that. I have a good girl account on NL. I find it intriguing how men can be attracted to same woman... A little pretence here and there, you are good to go.
poco wetin dey worry all these babes na. Educate them. The kind man dem dey find self get access to high class rich babes . Let them settle for their kind abeg. 90% of ladies cant be gunning for 15% of men 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Lessonbalogun: 10:24am On Dec 03, 2019 |
the simple truth is dat u are.taking things too.far
I hope.and.pray u notice wen.a.good.Guy comes for you. thou its good.for.a lady.to.away a career and.knows what.she.want.but mind u dere.is.time for.everything. |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Shashar: 10:24am On Dec 03, 2019 |
CHoccolaTE:
[s]You sef dey stay for house at night instead of going for armed robbery every night. Armed robber no be work.
#dont get lynched after you get caught robbing[/s]. A word is enough for the wise 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by Beejaybarca: 10:24am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Hedonini:
.. You dey mind the mumu? Most of the time, all they want is a rich man. Simple. They can use deceptive terms such as "ambitious", and so forth to conceal their shameless thirst for money. . I dey you. They are less concerned about the source, all they want is money. 1 Like |
| Re: I Don't Know What My Problem Is With Men And Dating by CHoccolaTE: 10:26am On Dec 03, 2019 |
Shashar:
A word is enough for the wise Keep your advice to yourself |
