₦airaland Forum

Respect55:
I appreciate all your care and concern. I really do. Now let me clarify somethings :
1. If she had valued me more than that boy, she wouldn't have sat down there and watch me leave without standing up and following me. I'm talking of the night I saw them. The whatsapp Pic and videos the guy did was after I had left and she actually posed-negating the fact she was disturbed I caught her.

2. I stopped taking midnighter serious the very time she started abusing me and others Asa way of driving home her points. Who does that?

3.Midnighter posited that there is the possibility that I wasn't doing something right or that she was keeping silent enmity with me that made her do what she did. But all along, there is nothing like that. All she asked for is for forgiveness that she wronged me, not that I did something bad.

4.All along, she haven't said who the boy was to her. It was even the last time the guy came to get Pam slippers that I got to know that he is from same state with the girl.

6. How come no one is talking about my healing process and my state of mind amidst these troubles? I feel lonely and devastated and people still have the mind to make me feel worse.

WackyJ1:
Listen. I made a mistake in at that post.

Fine. The error was that I said Sultan5's reply was to you when it wasn't.

I have admitted that error but I maintained that since you and that person he was referring to shared the same point of view, agreed with one another and even exchanged compliments that what he wrote applies to you.

I refused to change it because the mistake had been made already and you've seen it.
The mistake did not detract from my point not the general logic of my comment, so it changes nothing whether I leave it there or not.

WackyJ1:
In the entire post pointing out your...
confusion,
incoherence,
subtle manipulation,
blaming the OP and
Contradictions

Which I buttressed with facts and examples of your previous comments in This thread.

WackyJ1:
The only thing you have continued to point out is that I made a mistake which I admitted to.

It means you have nothing against the other things I wrote there and have only chosen to look at the weak link.

Which only makes you look weak.

WackyJ1:
You have replied every single guy here but when it comes to me.

Looks like someone who is defeated.

WackyJ1:
I am happy that you have seen where I also pointed out a comment that you missed where he clearly told the girl off in the presence of his sister.

Good to see that you had already apologised.

WackyJ1:
While also admitting that you were insulting the OP based on incomplete facts because you were not observant enough to read all his replies.

Respect55:
I appreciate all your care and concern. I really do. Now let me clarify somethings :
1. If she had valued me more than that boy, she wouldn't have sat down there and watch me leave without standing up and following me. I'm talking of the night I saw them. The whatsapp Pic and videos the guy did was after I had left and she actually posed-negating the fact she was disturbed I caught her.
2. I stopped taking midnighter serious the very time she started abusing me and others Asa way of driving home her points. Who does that?
3.Midnighter posited that there is the possibility that I wasn't doing something right or that she was keeping silent enmity with me that made her do what she did. But all along, there is nothing like that. All she asked for is for forgiveness that she wronged me, not that I did something bad.
4.All along, she haven't said who the boy was to her. It was even the last time the guy came to get Pam slippers that I got to know that he is from same state with the girl.
5. Some mistakes aren't just mistakes, they live with us for ever.
6. How come no one is talking about my healing process and my state of mind amidst these troubles? I feel lonely and devastated and people still have the mind to make me feel worse.

I have heard you, but I'm sorry.

Sultan5:
She really messed up honestly. And to think she's even trying to manipulate you too.

Heart breaks aren't easy especially when you actually saw a future with the person. I can only imagine how you would been feeling if you guys were married. Its no wonder divorce proceedings are very bitter and ugly most times.

All you need now is time and a break from this whole issue. Its going to be difficult but try focusing on other things. I'd advice you leave this thread, stop all contact with her and just focus on other things. Time is the only thing really. Don't jump into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal, you will be fine really. As time goes on, the pain will begin to lose its power. Chin up bro. You have done well.

Respect55:
Thanks. Wish u well

Respect55:
God will bless you. She indirectly chose the guy over me by allowing him do the introduction without reacting. If she had valued me, she wouldn't even mind interrupting the guy and correcting him that she just went on a date with him that I am the boyfriend. She never did that.
No one is talking about that

Goldensword:
Bro do you mind, if i chat you up on Facebook, though i see you've indeed madeup your mind, i will like to relate with you a similar experienced that happened to someone close to me and how it ended.

Koralords:
Let me share a similar experience
There this boy of mine who met another G boy online they bombed each other on a dating side and exchanged contact became friends the other guy was based in Marley,when the guy came to naija was like they should hangout got to the guys hotel sitting and drinking at the swimming pool the guy called the babe he was with, behold it was that my boys gf that the guy was also fucking someone he bought a cross tour for

WackyJ1:
To be honest Midnighter is a very confused girl and it has become apparent to every single male here.


See at this point, it should become clear to everyone that there is no Logic and reasoning here from Midnighter.
Only an agenda and an attempt to coerce and shame the OP into taking responsibility for actions that are not his and to do something that is not in line with his values.

dannybrasky
I888
Korllami007
tejiri4
rs172
jamesfadairo

MissCookie:
Omo see gbese ooo!

I recall how midnighter adviced that you should opt for clean closure, most people on here wanted to rip her tongues out.
Now you are caught up in this mess, an ugly predicament you would have dodged if you had gone for closure.

Ladies and gentlemen, seeking closure does not mean cowardice or weakness or inferiority complex, as a matter of fact, you seek for closure for your own sanity and for you to be able to move forward, peacefully.

Haba! Op would have invited her and some of his close families, tell them to their faces what she did, listen to whatever stupid excuse she wants to give and tell everybody his unquivering STANCE on the situation. That is what you call closure, maturity and a clean breakup.

You lots let your emotional side get the best of you but forgot that after one, then two.

Op, you are just the luckiest person, if that lad had died, your name would have been sorry.

Now the closure you refused to seek for, you will be forced to initiate it, albeit in the full glaring of plenty people.

Good luck!

MissCookie:
You are a wise and an emotionally intelligent person. Your contribution was one of the few wise ones I read here, but I was a bit confused why they were all misunderstanding you. Untill I remembered we have a lot of disgruntled young lads on here, who would rather cut off the nose to spite the face than go for a non destructive solution to a problem.

Weldone o

Korllami007:
At bolded.
It's even worse in the case of op. The man she's claiming that she loves; another guy introduced her as his girlfriend in the presence of her lover, but she acted as if nothing happened and went to club with the guy, slept over in his place. Abeg, which kain love be that? If she truly loves him, conscience won't let her spend another minute with the other guy. What I see here is that she has already seen op has a weakling in which op is far from it. She believed whatever happened, she would still find her way back to op's heart but op na Mr. No nonsense.

Your last paragraph is what I will suggest for op to do.

frankike1:
@respect 55
i think now i have clear picture of what happened that day u met her.
she was hoping she has found a better guy.
And the guy has disappointed her, now she want to come back.

This girl acted wickedly.
she would have even break your heart if that guy accept to marry her
The wicked shall not go unpunished.

I888:
some. People were suspecting she staged it but I think the other found out she had a relationship with this OP and created a scene to expos her and kick her out after forking her. The other guy knew about it.

dannybrasky:
Reason he called o.p back when o.p was leaving because he was surprised o.p didn't react, and then introduced o.p's girl as his own girlfriend. The guy too sharp

Respect55:
Thanks. Are you in pH?

midnighter:
Respect55, I take back what I said pertaining to not checking what happened with the lady/ not reporting to family/sister on what happened. I didnt remember this until WackyJ5 brought it up (Though what he wrote to me in that link he posted https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/24#84396493 was still wrong, because that conversation happened before you got back to us later on and said this) :



My grouse was you not giving your girlfriend a chance to explain herself, her side of what happened that day or what her problem/reasons were, which you actually did and she didnt take it.

The bolded satisfies my conditions; she could have aired any issues she had in mind at that point, but she failed to which led to your actual break-up and not an open-ended fizzling out of your relationship, which is what I thought it was.

Such is what irritated me with you and the other posters; I thought they were just coddling you without urging you to go and clear up the issue while she continued with her antics (which some of them were, prior to your update).

I apologise for missing this information in my further comments on your situation on Saturday, starting from here:

https://www.nairaland.com/5547427/broke-up-double-dating-girlfriend/25#84486798



That comment (precisely the bolded) and subsequent comments were written in error, assuming that you just left the relationship like that without following up on the girl or going over the situation with your family/sister, which you did.

This was the closure I was angling for; consequently the girl's recent behaviour cannot be attributed to the way you handled her indiscretion and your present stance on the matter is justified.

Once again, I apologise and will go back and modify my comments accordingly in due course.

jamesfadairo:
God bless you bro, at least your intelligence and observation has made her tone down and apologize, even if she had a point, she should not force it on anybody. I STILL SUPPORT O.P's REACTION! I wish him the best in his next relationship.

Krissconnect hope you have seen this thread?

Cellenero:
I think you're most likely the reverse of what most people & myself sensed about you,especially with these sincere apology you just made.
Trust me,it takes lots of balls to admit one is wrong & take a step further to make apology for their action(s), even if it seems petty,especially in a world everyone claims they are always right.
You got my respect ...
Actually been a silent follower of these mind blowing thread

krissconnect:
Ur fpl career is in ruins and ure here wasting away on romance section

jamesfadairo:
loooooooooooooooolllllzzzzzz, bro dont bring this here, we dont do it here

midnighter:
Haha You've admitted the error but still left it there in your post, incorrigible soul.

Youre propagating incorrect statements, while castigating somebody else for making incorrect statements; You are not serious!

It only applied to me; it did not refer to me. So why not write it like that to correctly reflect the message you want to communicate? Isnt that what the "modify" button is for

That somebody shares the same views with me doesnt mean I must automatically answer every comment that pertains to them. Do you go about replying to absolutely everybody who happens to agree or disagree with you? No. But because you want to be difficult youre busy peddling lies in order to buttress your point, which wouldnt be necessary if you actually had any confidence in your argument. You know youre wrong!

How can it not take away from your point when youre lecturing me about manipulation and incoherence, yet you cant even correct a simple misinformation when you are clearly wrong? So on what grounds are you challenging me?



Nope! Up until the comment in that link you posted, what I wrote was totally in order. No contradiction there.

After I made that error I was still in line with my previous line of thinking. What I had been saying from the beginning still obtains to the end. I made an error in my understanding of the problem and not in my judgement itself.

If you leave a committed relationship without any discussion you're just kidding yourself. The fact that he didnt do that doesnt detract from the reasoning behind my comment, it just didnt apply to him specifically. Which I have acknowledged already.

You are reading confusion and manipulations into it because you didnt understand the point I was making in the first place, which is why I abandoned you to your warped opinions and left you alone.

I just skimmed over your comment and acknowledged that you had made a mistake there without addressing the other points because I was done with the topic already. Whoever didnt get me by then wouldnt get me

I knew from our last conversation that you wouldnt even understand me anyway. You would just write whatever you felt like, which is exactly what you did!

You actually looked weaker by writing a paragraph instead of simply going back and correcting your error. It made you look immature and incorrigible.

It may look to you like defeat, you can tell yourself that if it makes you feel any better. Like i said, anybody who clicks that link you posted will definitely see that you were just talking off-point, so there was no need answering you again.



Of course. An apology was in order. And I am actually sorry for missing that key piece of info. I only got so irritated because I wanted him to get rid of the girl finally instead of all that stuff you were saying. Which he did!



You are extremely funny to talk about incomplete facts when you have only quoted part of what I have written concerning this thread! You only selected quotes that suited your nefarious agenda which is why I never even bothered with what you had to say.

Respect55:
Thanks. Are you in pH?

Respect55:
I appreciate all your care and concern. I really do. Now let me clarify somethings :
1. If she had valued me more than that boy, she wouldn't have sat down there and watch me leave without standing up and following me. I'm talking of the night I saw them. The whatsapp Pic and videos the guy did was after I had left and she actually posed-negating the fact she was disturbed I caught her.
2. I stopped taking midnighter serious the very time she started abusing me and others Asa way of driving home her points. Who does that?
3.Midnighter posited that there is the possibility that I wasn't doing something right or that she was keeping silent enmity with me that made her do what she did. But all along, there is nothing like that. All she asked for is for forgiveness that she wronged me, not that I did something bad.
4.All along, she haven't said who the boy was to her. It was even the last time the guy came to get Pam slippers that I got to know that he is from same state with the girl.
5. Some mistakes aren't just mistakes, they live with us for ever.
6. How come no one is talking about my healing process and my state of mind amidst these troubles? I feel lonely and devastated and people still have the mind to make me feel worse.

I have heard you, but I'm sorry.

jaymichael:
Virtue is it's own reward. You will heal fine. Develop the habit of using writing as a therapy. Devote a bit more time to your passion and hubby.
Wetin Musa no go see for gate? 2011, bought a phone for a girl and she used another boy's picture as the screensaver, homeboy confronted her and she said 'GO AND ENTER GUTTER OR KILL YOURSELF' she later married the guy. What later transpired is a story for another day which makes a very very interesting read.
Another one after some years got pregnant for another man while we still dey date. Na me disvirgin her o. She was still collecting money from me for treatment when I thought it was just fever not knowing it was the onset of pregnancy. This girl has a very very good and kind heart but she is easily influenced and swayed by peer pressure and she fancied the good things of life. I learnt she later married the guy. She later contacted me some years later when she had a still born and she said she was told and even dreamt about it that if she didn't ask for forgiveness from someone she offended, she may not be able to bear a child. I prayed for her and I told her that I didn't lay a curse on her nor wish her bad as it is against my principles as woman be like market, na who price well them go sell am to.
I am now married to someone that gives me what I cherish most in a Union which is PEACE OF MIND. In both cases, I just accepted my lot and moved on painfully. I needed no therapy or healing process. I just engaged in my daily routine, faced my job and not think much about it but most importantly, I BORE NO HATE OR RESENTMENT IN MY HEART towards them. I did not change my nature or character especially towards the women folks, this made me not miss the right one when she came along.
You see, e no get the thing wey Akpan never see for inside afang soup. Your story is even lenient sef.
Good luck to you bro.

jaymichael:
Virtue is it's own reward. You will heal fine. Develop the habit of using writing as a therapy. Devote a bit more time to your passion and hubby.
Wetin Musa no go see for gate? 2011, bought a phone for a girl and she used another boy's picture as the screensaver, homeboy confronted her and she said 'GO AND ENTER GUTTER OR KILL YOURSELF' she later married the guy. What later transpired is a story for another day which makes a very very interesting read.
Another one after some years got pregnant for another man while we still dey date. Na me disvirgin her o. She was still collecting money from me for treatment when I thought it was just fever not knowing it was the onset of pregnancy. This girl has a very very good and kind heart but she is easily influenced and swayed by peer pressure and she fancied the good things of life. I learnt she later married the guy. She later contacted me some years later when she had a still born and she said she was told and even dreamt about it that if she didn't ask for forgiveness from someone she offended, she may not be able to bear a child. I prayed for her and I told her that I didn't lay a curse on her nor wish her bad as it is against my principles as woman be like market, na who price well them go sell am to.
I am now married to someone that gives me what I cherish most in a Union which is PEACE OF MIND. In both cases, I just accepted my lot and moved on painfully. I needed no therapy or healing process. I just engaged in my daily routine, faced my job and not think much about it but most importantly, I BORE NO HATE OR RESENTMENT IN MY HEART towards them. I did not change my nature or character especially towards the women folks, this made me not miss the right one when she came along.
You see, e no get the thing wey Akpan never see for inside afang soup. Your story is even lenient sef.
Good luck to you bro.

Tonyspecial:
Guy i dey mile 1, iloabuchi by afikpo street, make we relate

Tonyspecial:
u are a male not a female nigga

Respect55:
Good to know u still had the guts to give it a try one after the other. More commendable is the fact that such didn't change your perception about girls and relationships. I won't lie to you, it changed mine totally. Maybe I was broken to the root. Maybe Maybe my heart was shattered and my feelings flew far away.
As a matter of fact, when I see people now talking about their relationship or the likes, I seem to pity them. There is this mindset recorded in my memory that something bad will always happen in a relationship.
I really need to see a psychologist