keeki:
OP you need to stop communicating with the other man.i am sure this is how your relationship was with your husband before u married him except you were forced to marry him.there is a way that seemeth right to a man but the end of it is destruction.you said your husband is a good man.talk to him.it takes effort to make marriage work.if you get too deep with this man,and eventually sleep with him,you would see that it was all lust and not love.

UjuJoan2:


There's nothing wrong in needing and wanting all these things. But the truth is that it doesn't even matter. You are emotionally disconnected from your husband, and that's the only problem I see here . .. maybe you just have too many expectations from him, without accepting the fact that he is just not that kind of person.

The distance is not helping too . . . being apart has a way of playing on people's minds.

I know you think you love this other guy, but you don't. If you sleep with him the only thing you will feel is regret and shame. Don't even go there.

Does your husband know there's a high possibility of him losing you to another man? Or does he think you are now 'second-hand' and can no longer attract attention from other men? I'm asking because I wonder why he's not even making an effort.

You have an itch that needs to be scratched. You need to let him know that if he doesn't, someone else will . . .

Olannajewel:
I agree that am selfish, we all have tendencies to be. I acknowledge his sacrifices and I am thankful always. Asides providing for me,I need a friend in my husband.

zeestone99:


Have you asked yourself what he needs, you think you are the only one that needs something. Have you asked yourself the challenges and pains he's facing and soaking up inside him, what have you done for him apart from sex and requesting for money. You can't change who you are, just follow the new guy if that's what you want. It's only fair your husband knows the real you. Don't pretend. My 2 kobo.

UjuJoan2:

Does your husband know there's a high possibility of him losing you to another man? Or does he think you are now 'second-hand' and can no longer attract attention from other men? I'm asking because I wonder why he's not even making an effort.

You have an itch that needs to be scratched. You need to let him know that if he doesn't, someone else will . . .

Olannajewel:
I know he has needs too, I'm open to do anything to make him happy, if only he would allow me.. because I said I am still offering my degree programme doesn't mean I have nothing to offer. I don't bring in money yet, but I offer constructive advices that bring in funds to us I pray for us and am always willing to go out of my way to make him happy.... offering something doesn't have to be about money.. and I am not pretending, I love my husband and I adore and appreciate him, all I want is a friend in him, sweet compassionate man,like he used to be. Thanks for your opinion though.

Olannajewel:
I know he has needs too, I'm open to do anything to make him happy, if only he would allow me.. because I said I am still offering my degree programme doesn't mean I have nothing to offer. I don't bring in money yet, but I offer constructive advices that bring in funds to us.I pray for us and am always willing to go out of my way to make him happy.... offering something doesn't have to be about money.. and I am not pretending, I love my husband and I adore and appreciate him, all I want is a friend in him, sweet compassionate man,like he used to be . Thanks for your opinion though.

yettymuse:
you don’t bring in MONEY but your hormones are raging to cheat! How about you go use your constructive advice and prayers to foot your own damn bills!..
C’mon cover your face abeg! You fall hand! I don’t blame men that don’t put all their resources on a woman. Na your type dey give women bad name! You’re already sexchatting.. very soon you go off pant! Odiegwu!..Mtcheew
“I love my husband and adore him” yen yen yen!!!.. Na you get yourself, no stress us abeg!

Olannajewel:
so all you can offer is money? it's good you share the bills and that makes you feel that you are more of a woman than I am. One day I will share bills too, soon! So because I don't bring in money yet my hormones shouldn't function again?. I am living and it's a good thing that my hormones are functioning... just a reminder, this phase of my life and my want for emotional satisfaction does not define me, daalu kwa.

bukatyne:


@bold

You can't love your husband and love Mr. Telegraph.

He has been sweet before, he can be sweet again.

Except you tell me that when you go with Mr. Telegraph and he is no longer sweet due to life's issues, you would jump to Mr. What'sapp.

bukatyne:


It is not all about money or providing

yettymuse:
Its alright then, I hope you don’t let your emotions get the better of you! When reality sets in, Bills is major! By the way, why do you wanna give your coochie to a brokeass? I bet Mr Telegram can’t pay shishi! Women! Na we confuse pass!! you’ll be fine girl... Get yourself some intimacy gadgets, masturbate and watch porn! Cheers!

crackhaus:

Emotional availability or financial provision, which one is a bigger problem when lacking?

AwkaetitiBabe:
Lol, Nigerians and their hypocritical nature. Just lookat d men gesticulating up their like kini. Do not rush to comment, simply take a Lil while and walk in d Op's shoes in ur head then u can comment. Is it so hard to advise her on how to get her marriage on d right track? For idiotic fools that say women have nothing to offer, dat frustration will eat you'll up.

What the op is passing through happen, Infact if it were to be a man I'm sure he would have slept with d girl by now. Cut the op a some. Abraham Maslow wasn't a fool to include "Love and belonhing" in his hierarchy of Needs

Olannajewel:
I know am infatuated about my telegram friend, probably because he tells me all I want to hear.but that doesn't erase the fact that my husband means so much to me, but I alone know how much I suffer, I need him to be my friend again. Thank you .

crackhaus:

UjuJoan2:


What? It's true na.

Nothing forces a man to sit up more than knowing there's someone else out there desperately seeking for his wife attention.

Men don't know that they have to keep the romance alive in their marriage too. It's not just the women that have to keep slim, look sexy and slay to keep their men's attention. The man also has to keep the fire burning for his wife too, however he manages to do that.

For some it's money, for others it's 'love and romance', for some it's even mad crazy sex. The key is finding whatever does it for her and working hard at it. If not, she's just a crazy opportunity away from cheating.

bukatyne:


Depends on who's asking.

The OP has the money however she's not satisfied.

Is money to meet one's needs important, yes. However, we are not one dimensional beings.

When we pass the survival stage like the OP, we yearn for other things which are also legitimate.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Lol, Nigerians and their hypocritical nature. Just lookat d men gesticulating up their like kini. Do not rush to comment, simply take a Lil while and walk in d Op's shoes in ur head then u can comment. Is it so hard to advise her on how to get her marriage on d right track? For idiotic fools that say women have nothing to offer, dat frustration will eat you'll up.

What the op is passing through happen, Infact if it were to be a man I'm sure he would have slept with d girl by now. Cut the op a some. Abraham Maslow wasn't a fool to include "Love and belonhing" in his hierarchy of Needs

yettymuse:
Its alright then, I hope you don’t let your emotions get the better of you! When reality sets in, Bills is major! By the way, why do you wanna give your coochie to a brokeass? I bet Mr Telegram can’t pay shishi! Women! Na we confuse pass!! you’ll be fine girl... Get yourself some intimacy gadgets, masturbate and watch porn! Cheers!

bukatyne:


Depends on who's asking.

The OP has the money however she's not satisfied.

Is money to meet one's needs important, yes. However, we are not one dimensional beings.

When we pass the survival stage like the OP, we yearn for other things which are also legitimate.

crackhaus:

Then this is what you ladies should be helping her develop - satisfaction and nothing else. Encouraging her desires will only validate her feelings for the Telegram guy, which is a very good idea if the end goal is to ensure she cheats on her husband.
My dear Ujujoan2 is even telling her to threaten the husband...husband oo, not boyfriend. Nothing I no go read for family section.

I'm sure even after the man starts providing this emotional whatnot, the next request will be for him to start helping with the house chores, because some women have convinced themselves they are Princesses with no Kingdom.

I can't mehn...

Woman did not kill my grandfathers and woman has not killed my father, it is impossible for a woman to kill me.

UjuJoan2:


What? It's true na.

Nothing forces a man to sit up more than knowing there's someone else out there desperately seeking for his wife attention.

Men don't know that they have to keep the romance alive in their marriage too. It's not just the women that have to keep slim, look sexy and slay to keep their men's attention. The man also has to keep the fire burning for his wife too, however he manages to do that.

For some it's money, for others it's 'love and romance', for some it's even mad crazy sex. The key is finding whatever does it for her and working hard at it. If not, she's just a crazy opportunity away from cheating.

crackhaus:

Then this is what you ladies should be helping her develop - satisfaction and nothing else. Encouraging her desires will only validate her feelings for the Telegram guy, which is a very good idea if the end goal is to ensure she cheats on her husband.
My dear Ujujoan2 is even telling her to threaten the husband...husband oo, not boyfriend. Nothing I no go read for family section.

I'm sure even after the man starts providing this emotional whatnot, the next request will be for him to start helping with the house chores, because some women have convinced themselves they are Princesses with no Kingdom.

I can't mehn...

Woman did not kill my grandfathers and woman has not killed my father, it is impossible for a woman to kill me.

Olannajewel:
I am satisfied, I just want a little compassion, and romance.. nothing more!

crackhaus:

This mind game only works if you're 100% sure the man has the patience for such antics.

crackhaus:

Then this is what you ladies should be helping her develop - satisfaction and nothing else. Encouraging her desires will only validate her feelings for the Telegram guy, which is a very good idea if the end goal is to ensure she cheats on her husband.
My dear Ujujoan2 is even telling her to threaten the husband...husband oo, not boyfriend. Nothing I no go read for family section.

I'm sure even after the man starts providing this emotional whatnot, the next request will be for him to start helping with the house chores, because some women have convinced themselves they are Princesses with no Kingdom.

I can't mehn...

Woman did not kill my grandfathers and woman has not killed my father, it is impossible for a woman to kill me.

UjuJoan2:


It's because she's not hungry. Her husband is already providing the money so she's searching for the component he's not providing.

bukatyne:


If her husband was never 'sweet', she probably have ignored as he was her choice.

He was and has now become cold.

Like they say: Don't start what you cannot finish.

UjuJoan2:


So so true @ the bolded.

If she were a man she would have done the deed already!

UjuJoan2:


Does it even end

I mean at what point do we stop yearning for something . . . Anything

I think it comes to a point when the woman just has to realize that she can't have it all, appreciate the ones she has, ignore the ones she doesn't and just accept the fact that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side