₦airaland Forum

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

safarigirl:
That married man is trash, you should cut such people off.

Kakamorufu:
Move on. Chances of him taking you back is so slim.. as in 1/1000 chances.

Men don't take back cheating partners, only if the man is sex starved will he consider to have use u back for the road.

purpleprincess:
I think you are an idiot.

Ladycewhy:
You sef, it wasnt a mistake ,you slept with him more than once na, it means you liked the thrill and fun that goes with sex in the car.

Anyway,as a woman if you ever get caught cheating, if you are not married to him, leave that relationship for your own good, I call it self preservation. You see these men they are a classic case of "you cant take what you dish". A man can cheat on a woman several times and she will miraculously find a way to let it go and forgive, but you see men, they are not biologically built to be forgiving to cheating. A man cheating on you will likely even be more angry to find you cheating too ,you know why? They hate competition.

Now you are remorseful ,yes but are you willing to be used as a "go to girlfriend"? I must say that guy is an honest guy for even telling you he cant have a relationship with you,if it is some of this demented psychopaths they will continue wasting your time while they search for another ,some will even marry secretly and keep wasting your time. You loose some you win some move on for your own good.

You keep talking about helping him heal,do you know you need healing too? Your guilt can consume you if you dont forgive yourself ,it can even lower your self esteem and make you "over compensate" to the next guy you get in a relationship with which could be a very bad thing if there are red flags to be noticed ,this over compensation can make you blind to it. You should be more concerned about healing from your guilt else it will damage your self worth and turn you into a "man pleaser" in your subsequent relationships.

He said the has forgiven you, but the question now is my sister "have you forgiven yourself?".How long will you let this guilt consume you? How long will you beat yourself up for it? Na prick you fuk, you nor kill person,dont go and ruin your mental health for it. Even the chronic womanizers are the most jealous of them all. You better get yourself together,see it as water user the bridge and forge ahead and stop this pity party.

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

Kendumazy:
That's how u na dey talk. Second chance will turn to third chance, from third chance to fourth chances. May God help you anyway.

DownChelsea:
pls fall in love with and marry me. Since you will forgive wife

apholaryn:
only miracle can make that happen...and cut the emotional blablabla crap..a whole 3times with a married guy ? huh! if u guys get back tomorrow,you gon still do the same

ajaymina:
Aaaaarrrrrrrgggggg!!!!

Whatever substance you are taking should be banned ASAP!
You are not mentally OK abeg..

You whaaat?, fvcked your colleague 3x in his car in the name of emotional blablablabla bullcraaap!, married man! And you claimed its a mistake Who does that. Once might b a mistake, but 3x, nooooooooooo your worse that what you think woman.

U liar!... U have slept with him for countless number of times for your boyfriend to suspect.
Not once, not twice, bt 3x... taaaah, u b thief, u like fvck pass your self.

No one, even mad man will accept you back... ONCE A THIEF IS ALWAYS A THIEF.

Be sincere to yourself, Will you advise your son or your brother to accept someone like you...

Move on with your life, do not try to force him take you back, you'll regret in the end.

Timbuktuo:
But she’s quality?

TonyeBarcanista:
Stop mentioning God!

Every man must face the consequences his his action! She Cheated, she didn't do evangelism!

She was caught, she didn't voluntarily confess!

NB: If I was her ex I won't cut off all forms of communication with her completely

mayim:
I totally can relate to what ur going thru. My woman cheated on me with a married man 3 months after I proposed . I never knew I was gonna survive it. I felt like dying, cudnt go to work for a week. Fast forward to Today we are married with a child. It’s not as easy as it sounded. It was a lot of work, we had to do a lot of unlearning and relearning..it was tough to say the least, I wept like a baby for days.

mayim:
But I saw the need to work it out, it was on my own terms. She didn’t push it. She just kept telling me how sorry she was. There are days it looks like we are over it but then we take some steps backwards again. But ultimately we are here today. I don’t regret working it out. Sometimes a truly repentant partner that once cheated will make the most loyal partner. I sent u a pm.i wud love to reveal some things to you that helped my healing. But pls don’t push the man, he has been kind enough to forgive u. Peace sis

BigDick70inch:
Madam..
No hope of u gettin him back..
U can't eat your cake and have it back...
Once a shot always a shit..
A bleeped pussy can never be unfucked..
Just some few convincing words from the married man..then u will start riding is dick again..since u find it hard to disconnect him from u totally..

JERRY1925:
Sometimes when a man genuinely love you.. He wants you just to himself. Your body becomes his pride.. Because in most cases that's the only thing a man values in a woman.. It's priceless knowing you have a girl or a wife no other man can touch.
It's priceless knowing u have a girl u can leave for weeks and she's intact.
But for women it's different, u don't really value our body that much.. U value our possessions, our future.. Our strength and if we fall short, u change course.

Well, to my answer.. If u truly love your man.. Stay away from your friend...stay so far away.
Give your man some month..prove to him you've stayed far. Prove to him it won't happen again..you can do this, by giving yourself time to heal and also giving him some space to miss u. He will come around. But give him time to think. And don't give him room for second thought.

apholaryn:
only miracle can make that happen...and cut the emotional blablabla crap..a whole 3times with a married guy ? huh! if u guys get back tomorrow,you gon still do the same

Butterscotch92:
I know I deserve all the bashing I'm receiving here and more. But I wonder why it's very difficult for most to believe that I'm actually repentant about the whole thing. I know I really hurt my man which is part of my pain. I can never repeat such action no matter the circumstances with what I've learnt and I believe if I am lucky enough to get a second chance I'll be a much better version of myself and be forever grateful. It happened in the car because I wouldn't have agreed to follow him elsewhere by then it would be premeditated. I rejected every of his attempt to meet him anywhere else. Those were moments of weakness although it cannot be justified.

Butterscotch92:
I understand. We have talked about this. But it's difficult to move on with the guilt, regret and sense of loss. And I want to do anything to help him heal.

Shibaraba:
I'm here to bash and I will do so thoroughly. My name is shibaraba and I don't mince words.

Not once, not twice but thrice. Well Peter denied Jesus three times. Your man is not Jesus. And I hope he never forgives you.
How dare you.
I'm feeling his pain as I speak.
As in My personal punna somebody nack am. No be even for better hotel.... For inside car. Abasimikipanyong. Cheating is a process. What lead you to do it once it's sure you'll do it again.
Me advice for you, better continue nacking your colleague and leave your man. For if I was your man, we will keep dating till My wedding day... With another. Turn you to lord of the rings. You go turn maid, cook, driver, anything I want and I still won't marry you. For I will always see you as an okpo. And anytime you come back from an outing na soso sperm I go dey smell around you because e go be me like say you just go lick preeq finish.
No vex... Na my mind I talk. Truth is bitter. This is the truth

Butterscotch92:
I know I'm going to receive a lot of bashing here but I don't mind as I'm looking for solution. I've been following other related threads on the topic and it seems most men don't forgive women that cheated on them.

I cheated on my man. This happened over a year ago when the relationship was going through a rough patch. Actually I didn't set out to cheat and never planned it.

In fact the person it happened with was a person I was confiding in when I was trying to get solutions to my relationship issues.

This person was my married colleague that I joined to work in his car. I thought I could get mature advice by telling him. I was weak and emotionally down and on one of such days of crying to him it happened in his car.

It happened like 3 more times because I go to work with him and come back with him. But I was overcome with guilt (because he was married and for cheating) that I had to stop. But my mistake was that I didn't cut him off completely.

I remained cordial friends with him since he is a colleague and I stopped joining his car. He also moved to another branch. He called occasionally to try his luck but I never gave in. Somehow my man became suspicious by his calls and one thing led to the other and I had to confess.

My man said he has forgiven but can't get back together again. I have been following other threads with similar topics and I saw that men find it very hard to forgive a woman that once cheated.

In this case I'm truly sorry, I have learnt my lessons and I can never make that kind of mistake again. I don't love the man in question, I never wanted anything from him apart from advice from the onset, I stopped on my own, I only remained friends because he was my colleague. I love my man and will do anything to keep him and win his trust back. I'm not a cheat by nature.

I'm heartbroken and filled with guilt and regret. I can't talk to anyone in my circle for fear of condemnation because I'm wrong in every area.

Please is there any hope for me? How do I go about winning him back? How do I convince him that I truly regret my actions? How do I help him heal?

AwkaetitiBabe:
Why foaming through the mouth this early morning? You can twist my comment to suit you and your ego, that's ur problem. Lmfao, d comment must have hurt so badly to turn gutter on me... Buhhhaaahhhaa

Ornament2003:
I'm sure u didn't understand my comment.

Olodo

fabulous85:
When they say men and women can't be close friends most of you ladies including married ones will claim I prefer men as friends. The co-worker bid his time with you and waited for the right moment to have sex with you and trust me that moment always comes with women. You are just sorry you got caught that's all he would have still have his way with you.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Pissssh! Pls swerve.

filani:
@Mayim
For the sake of clarity, you married her after she cheated on you with a married man after you proposed to her!!!

You are a man like me so I will be blunt, where is your Self Respect?!

I read your post & I can't find any evidence of it.

Self respect entails boundaries on how you relate with people & standing your ground with anyone who transgressed .
With that in mind let's look at the picture you have painted with your now "wife".

You have a classic case of 'Oneitis' ,you very likely subscribe to the soulmate romantic ideal.
You lack any belief that you deserve any better than her hence your willingness to take her back after she had some good steamy sex from the married guy.


https://therationalmale.com/2011/08/30/there-is-no-one/

https://therationalmale.com/2012/10/29/the-soul-mate-myth/


She now knows that she can eat her cake and have it with you without fear of losing out because good Christian boy hubby will always forgive her

P. S I strongly advise you to take that child for a paternity test ASAP!!! Lest you come back here in donkey years time with tears in your eyes about raising another man's kid.



@Mayim
Wort it out on your terms?! What terms are that pray tell? Did it cost her an arm and a leg to get you back

She sheds a few tears and says I'm sorry and that's all it took?

Hahahahahahahahha

A repentant partner you say, in what way did she repent
She jumps on a married man's Dick at the thought of being married to you but you on here talking about her Loyalty

Hahahahahahahahah

You honestly believe you got a good deal marrying her don't you? You honestly believe she's giving you her best? You are so clueless I'm torn between laughing at you & crying for you but when it's all said and done it's your bed so go ahead and lie in it.

https://therationalmale.com/2013/12/03/saving-the-best/