Desric:
In all your submissions, always remember the one man's food is another man's poison, and people shouldn't be called names for the choices they make for themselves. After all that's why we were created in large numbers, so of A's lifestyle doesn't suit you, B might

Dude most of you are backward and acheic simple. How can you tell your wife not to work. Its barbaric simple.
I am a very exposed traditional African man but telling your wife not to work is evil.

And like I said, men with this kind of thinking are those that lived loose life as singles, they think every woman is loose.

I have married sisters, beautiful, smart, intelligent, classy. My parents brought them up in traditional African way, they run homes perfectly But all there husbands allow them to work.

I am from Anambra State that has produced pace setting women, married and still submissive to there husbands; late Dora Akunyili, Oby Ezekwwsili, Chimanda Adichie etc

Do you know Dora all the time she was in NAFDAC/ Minister, she cooks the food her husband eats. Nobody does it for her.

See we raise our daughters be submissive, but don't give up on your dreams. And when the men comes to marry our daughters we tell them, that you can't stop there careers.

That's what my Dad told all the men that came to marry his daughters; they have been raised perfectly for you, marry them well, and the girls don't disappoint.

See there are quality women of sound stock out there. But not every man deserve them. They are meant for men who know value, not backward and acheic kind of men

Hizzy:

Yeah we no de the same league
I agreed but my league is harder and tougher more than yours
You might be richer but in terms of stars you can't compare Laliga to premier league


Stop supporting what you can't do
Do you know why the man refused to allow his wife to work
She's 24 she's too young and she can be easily deceived

I'm supportive to atleast 5 marriages. Psychological sprititual and opportunity support. All are ten years old and doing fine. He will need her permission, acceptance and agreement for what he intends to achieve. But Mark my words. Such marriages are never happy and financially stable.

BravoDe:
Damilolacoker

U married too early
22yo and you're married, hmm

22 is not too early for marriage. Most of our mothers married when they were 15-19

healthserve:
Agbonkamen spotted. Yawa Don gas

ma nigga what did I do na

Chi59:
[s]
Men are big babies. See how you defend bad behaviour! If a man complained his wife behaved like this, would you say men are big babies?

Babies have no fvcking business getting married. If you're gonna be childish, stay single! Stop frustrating someone's daughter with your childish tantrums. Marriage is not a rehabilitation centre for badly behaved men.[/s]

I normally don’t reply feminists.

I will advise you to give her a better option from mine
Or
Stop seeking cheap attention.

Damilolacoker:
Hello everyone I'm 24 years old and I have been married for three years. last year we had our first baby . Prior to our wedding, I and my husband decided I'll be allowed to work once our baby is old enough to attend day Care. Now our daughter is almost 2 years and he has refused to let me work. We've had countless arguments about this and it always ends with him saying women who work are not always submissive. I cannot be a full house wife , I am educated and cannot sit at home all say.

He recently told my parents I was being rude to him and they're all saying I should do whatever my husband wants. I love him but on this issue, I refuse to agree with him.

The other part here is he doesn't like me correcting our daughter. She's almost 2 and it irritates him whenever I try to potty train her or scold her. He insists I go to check up on Her at school during break hours. I understand that she's quite young but as her mother, I want the best for her.

Now he's changed towards me, he doesn't care or pamper me like he used to , sometimes he refuses to eat at home and when I try to speak with him, he's always very cold. Please help me, I don't know what to do anymore.

My dear, don't be a full time house wife o.

Men are unpredictable.

What I will suggest is this. Don't quarrel with your husband. Talk to him lovingly when he's in a good mood about the job thing or preferably he can open a business for you, which u can do within your area.
Getting a job is dicey but having your own business is better. You can able to manage your time and come home on-time to pick your daughter from school and also.prepare dinner before your hubby comes back from work.
Show more care to your daughter, it's necessary for her upbringing and also for your hubby to know you cherish her.
Because it looks like, he feels u want to neglect your daughter and just focus on having a job, which is not good.

So don't quarrel with him about this issue, be more loving and let him know how it drives u nuts staying at home and not using your brain to work.

Do u know that's the issue I'm having with suitors coming my way? I have a company o, but they want me to close it down and be full time housewife, I laugh!

Close down really?
Anyways thank God I'm with a man whose loves my ambition and he's supporting me all the day. Unlike others who felt I should just seat at home and be getting fatter. Later the same husband will be the one to. Insult you that u are becoming too fat! That's some men for you, I won't say all men.
Before I met my man recently I almost cried to one of my best friend, an elderly man as I complained to him.
I told him. If that's the case I rather stay single than be married and just be eating, fucvking, breeding kids and cooking, with cleaning. Honestly I can't live like that all my life, while my brain rust away. Hell no!

I prayed with tears and God answered.

So my dear don't talk harshly to him about this job thing. Talk softly , be more respectful and submissive but let him know u are serious about it. With time, he will see reason and allow u work. Keep reminding him And let him also know u won't be proud while u are working .

Because men are unpredictable! They can do and undo. Especially when u are at their mercy with no cent to your name. Men?

God forbid, he might meet another lady outside, say lemme just have fun and idle sex, from that idle sex he has become hooked and lemme tell you. From that moment he's hooked, he won't care anymore about your upkeep and your daughters upkeep. He can even throw u out sef! For the new woman to enter, damning all consequences. That's how foolish some. Men can be. It has even happened to women I know. Some died with heartbreak, some were left helpless in the hands of friends, cos they have no job, and their parents are no more.. Be wise.

So it's not advisable to place all your life in the hands of man. Even if he's your husband.

Sha be wise when handling him..

TonyeBarcanista:

22 is not too early for marriage. Most of our mothers married when they were 15-19

You cant compare that generation and this one. The societies and spaces women occupied then were totally different.

22 is not too early for some people but you cant blame others for being apprehensive.

It is too young if you are looking to develop in the way OP is

Elina123:
Am a lady and let the truth be told.

U are a disrespectful woman and very stubborn.
For better for worse as it was said so stop complaining.

Lata u will say u are a Christian but the same Bible says lady's be submissive to ur husband.

Accept whatever e tells u and any one u don't like u bring it up with care and love not raising voices and quarrelling it makes the man feels u can't be controlled. The more u make him feel that the more he wants to do things to controlled u and make u obey everything he says.


So wan face ur marriage and don't disturb our peace.

Seriously?

You're very delusional, I must confess. What do you mean by 'it makes a man feels you can't be controlled'? Is that how your husband controls you? Is she a child to be controlled?

Madam. If that's how you thrive in your household, hold on tightly to it. Don't come on a forum like this to show your ignorance. You're seriously ignorant. And this advice belongs to the trash can.

Fountainofyouth:
Plenty stupid people dey for this nairaland sha, very hypocritical irritants always talking from both sides of the mouth, these are the same weird creatures saying they can never marry a woman who isn't working, that she'll be a leech, bla bla bla.....now they are advocating for Op to continue to be a house wife smh, if the yeye husband was giving her enough money for upkeep and for herself, do you think she will bother about working? Confused lots.

There are many ladies outside there, starving for husband of their own. If they can even get yeye husband, they will than God. I dont believe u grew uo to know your father. Because if u did know him, your life will not be like this.
If u quote me, beheading will be ur case.

djon78:


Dude most of you are backward and acheic simple. How can you tell your wife not to work. Its barbaric simple.
I am a very exposed traditional African man but telling your wife not to work is evil.

And like I said, men with this kind of thinking are those that lived loose life as singles, they think every woman is loose.

I have married sisters, beautiful, smart, intelligent, classy. My parents brought them up in traditional African way, they run homes perfectly But all there husbands allow them to work.

I am from Anambra State that has produced pace setting women, married and still submissive to there husbands; late Dora Akunyili, Oby Ezekwwsili, Chimanda Adichie etc

Do you know Dora all the time she was in NAFDAC/ Minister, she cooks the food her husband eats. Nobody does it for her.

See we raise our daughters be submissive, but don't give up on your dreams. And when the men comes to marry our daughters we tell them, that you can't stop there careers.

That's what my Dad told all the men that came to marry his daughters; they have been raised perfectly for you, marry them well, and the girls don't disappoint.

See there are quality women of sound stock out there. But not every man deserve them. They are meant for men who know value, not backward and acheic kind of men

My brother God bless you. How I wish I knew one of your single sisters earlier....


God forbid I give my daughter to any man who stops them from living their dreams. Men that turn doctors to tailors. Rather than destroy the woman, it's their selves they should fixand build up. Stupeed tins they are.

Forward77:



I normally don’t reply feminists.

I will advise you to give her a better option from mine
Or
Stop seeking cheap attention.

Oh I'm a feminist because I denounced your blind beliefs?
You tell me, so you think you're a big baby, possessive and throwing tantrums at your age. I'm sure you have white hairs on your balls, yet you think you're a baby.
Come lemme breastfeed you.
Shame.

healthserve:



I'm supportive to atleast 5 marriages. Psychological sprititual and opportunity support. All are ten years old and doing fine.

But you're not giving good advice on this
Befor I talk about marriage I know what I'm saying
Now can you tell me the excuses woman gave when the cheat
He's just a colleague, my mom said I should come
We have night Virgil so on

Hizzy:

But you're not giving good advice on this
Befor I talk about marriage I know what I'm saying
Now can you tell me the excuses woman gave when the cheat
He's just a colleague, my mom said I should come
We have night Virgil so on

All marriages I leant support 10to12 years ago are standing. Till date I still mentor their marriages. The ones I said no, all ended or are still sad.


This one is nonsense. No man born of a woman will try this shii wif my daughters.

Some men have serious ego and insecurity issues.
This is a sad fact.

Lady, if your intentions are pure, then you shld be smart enough to find the best way around this, without making him feel his manhood is being undermined. If there is no headway, then try be calm and patient, keep your cool and dont let all this make u go berserk.

healthserve:



I'm supportive to atleast 5 marriages. Psychological sprititual and opportunity support. All are ten years old and doing fine. He will need her permission, acceptance and agreement for what he intends to achieve. But Mark my words. Such marriages are never happy and financially stable.

Once she attain the age of doing business without being deceived her husband will give her go ahead

midnighter:


You cant compare that generation and this one. The societies and spaces women occupied then were totally different.

22 is not too early for some people but you cant blame others for being apprehensive.

It is too young if you are looking to develop in the way OP is

Your position is neither here nor there.

22 is not too early to marry whether then or now. In fact, 18-26 is the best time for a female to marry as long as she found a man of her own that loves her.

And as for development, one can attain personal development with or without marriage and irrespective of age.

Hizzy:

Once she attain the age of doing business without being deceived her husband will give her go ahead

Like he gave her life to determine her existence. Any human that forces force dependency on people is a destroyer. They want to strip people of their ability to exist without them. This one has issues. Better hustle up so you don't depend on destroying a wife to appear superior.

[s]

UyaiIncomparabl:


Seriously?

You're very delusional, I must confess. What do you mean by 'it makes a man feels you can't be controlled'? Is that how your husband controls you? Is she a child to be controlled?

Madam. If that's how you thrive in your household, hold on tightly to it. Don't come on a forum like this to show your ignorance. You're seriously ignorant. And this advice belongs to the trash can.

[/s]
Are you married?

frozen70:


[s]Stop being fastidious because of your age, you lack the experience of what you are clamouring for

As for work, keep it aside and try to have the number of kids you guys want so that you will be done with child bearing and start working

Raising kids is more difficult than working even

Go to him and calm him down and assure him of your loyalty

Remove shakara and pride so that you can humble yourself

If you think you need to be busy, get pregnant, it's enough to keep you busy

Time will come, he will be the one to give you options to take from getting a job and having a store

Don't try to run faster than your shadow, the main race is still ahead

[/s]

Mehn. Ignorant women full this forum o! Madam abeg, just take several seats.

Fountainofyouth:
Plenty stupid people dey for this nairaland sha, very hypocritical irritants always talking from both sides of the mouth, these are the same weird creatures saying they can never marry a woman who isn't working, that she'll be a leech, bla bla bla.....now they are advocating for Op to continue to be a house wife smh, if the yeye husband was giving her enough money for upkeep and for herself, do you think she will bother about working? Confused lots.

Ha!

Chai!



You are just too hard! Take it easy na

No vex na, let her share her views .

UyaiIncomparabl:


Seriously?

You're very delusional, I must confess. What do you mean by 'it makes a man feels you can't be controlled'? Is that how your husband controls you? Is she a child to be controlled?

Madam. If that's how you thrive in your household, hold on tightly to it. Don't come on a forum like this to show your ignorance. You're seriously ignorant. And this advice belongs to the trash can.

healthserve:



All marriages I leant support 10to12 years ago are standing. Till date I still mentor their marriages. The ones I said no, all ended or are still sad.


This one is nonsense. No man born of a woman will try this shii wif my daughters.

That's if your daughter is trust worthy

TonyeBarcanista:
[s][/s]
Are you married?

What is that supposed to mean? But be truthful, can you agree for a man not to allow your sister work? Will you be happy?

healthserve:



From your comments I can tell my age from yours. And by the same extension what you're not seeing. The man isn't just preventing her from work. He's breaking her down morally and psychologically so she losses herself to depend on him as a job which is wrong. From the motive to the application. I replied you tentatively in our earlier interactions. Marriage is titfor tat, not master slave relationship. If he married a genius and then keeps her locked up as a slave, her creative ability forces her to be restless, hence she needs a job. Creative people can't stay idle. He isn't trying to provide for her, he's trying to force a flawed logic on her and emotionally blackmailing her to accept his will without a challenge. She needs to decide if she wants to be in cuffs or free. I'm sure you're a Christian. There's a rule I apply in everything I do. Whatever I lose my liberty and expression I term it slavery. Automatically


He's not telling her not to work because he will or can provide. No. He's demoralising her so she won't see the need to have a life without him. IT'S A DELIBERATE PLOY

after reading the first two pages I had given up on nlders till I came across your comments and it renewed my hopes that Alas, not everyone here is myopic and stupid. thanks a lot. O.p pls follow his advice

healthserve:



From your comments I can tell my age from yours. And by the same extension what you're not seeing. The man isn't just preventing her from work. He's breaking her down morally and psychologically so she losses herself to depend on him as a job which is wrong. From the motive to the application. I replied you tentatively in our earlier interactions. Marriage is titfor tat, not master slave relationship. If he married a genius and then keeps her locked up as a slave, her creative ability forces her to be restless, hence she needs a job. Creative people can't stay idle. He isn't trying to provide for her, he's trying to force a flawed logic on her and emotionally blackmailing her to accept his will without a challenge. She needs to decide if she wants to be in cuffs or free. I'm sure you're a Christian. There's a rule I apply in everything I do. Whatever I lose my liberty and expression I term it slavery. Automatically


He's not telling her not to work because he will or can provide. No. He's demoralising her so she won't see the need to have a life without him. IT'S A DELIBERATE PLOY

so u totally believed all wht d OP posted here. Kai. U never know women. Heat d man side of d story b4 writing this. I know if u understand women. OBINRIN. U wld nit have said this. Women will never say they are at fault in anything. Nah u d husband needs wisdom or else u go die. The woman's parents too understand their daughter than d husband. That's is d reason they gave that decision. A very rude girl will learn her lesson in her husband house.

Hizzy:

That's if your daughter is trust worthy

Don't go far. All sisters are working own their businesses. Their husband's even brag where we keep them is where we find them.


Go and develop psychologically. If a man can't marry a woman without wondering what's happening to her pussy anytime she's away, he's unfit for marriage. My inner fortitude isn't dependent on having my wife glued to me to be assured of her loyalty. It's my inner person development.


Go and read boy

Conceptman:
No vex na, let her share her views .

It's totally senseless!

I think a dislike button should be adopted on this forum.

healthserve:



Like he gave her life to determine her existence. Any human that forces force dependency on people is a destroyer. They want to strip people of their ability to exist without them. This one has issues. Better hustle up so you don't depend on destroying a wife to appear superior.

See no be say you win but I wan rest oh
Ogah incase you need home services halla me like Laundering thanks I wan sleep
Good night

Seriously 22yrs is too young to marry aha stay there o ma ruun ile when u get to 40 and u are still searching

imam07:
so u totally believed all wht d OP posted here. Kai. U never know women. Heat d man side of d story b4 writing this. I know if u understand women. OBINRIN. U wld nit have said this. Women will never say they are at fault in anything. Nah u d husband needs wisdom or else u go die. The woman's parents too understand their daughter than d husband. That's is d reason they gave that decision. A very rude girl will learn her lesson in her husband house.

Lol. It's an I am who embodifies the same tradition I'd rather not listen to

TonyeBarcanista:

Your position is neither here nor there.

22 is not too early to marry whether then or now. In fact, 18-26 is the best time for a female to marry as long as she found a man of her own that loves her.

And as for development, one can attain personal development with or without marriage and irrespective of age.

Your position is the one that was nowhere; you tried to compare the generation of yesteryear with that of now in order to justify your stance, when the two time periods are totally incompatible.

An 18 year old getting married in todays society is absolutely preposterous, full stop.

Like I said, 22 years is on the early side but still redeemable if the person is ready to juggle several balls at once. But still quite unnecessary.

I said that the type of personal development that OP is looking for would be better attained before marriage. I didnt say that personal development stops when one gets married so you dont have any point.

UyaiIncomparabl:


What is that supposed to mean? But be truthful, can you agree for a man not to allow your sister work? Will you be happy?

My sister's husband is the HEAD of his home, not me. My own is that he takes care of her and treats her well. If my sister want to work she can focus on her craft or business but not in a corporate setting as long as her husband kicks against going corporate.

Life is that simple! The most important is having a HAPPY HOME