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Help! My Marriage Is Giving Me Pain. / An American Woman With Two Husbands And Three Children Is Causing A Stir Online / Sex Is Causing Problems In My Marriage, Help Me Save My Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by CaptainMitch: 1:25am On Dec 18, 2019 |
I usually send gifts to my friends from vendors on Twitter, I wanted to send a hamper to anyone living in Lagos. UyaiIncomparabl: |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 1:26am On Dec 18, 2019 |
[quote author=Desric post=85006363][/quote] Tolerance in well doing and tolerance in dysfunctional toxic Union must be clearly defined and separated. One is suffering and smiling, the other is towards an improved welfare 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Desric(m): 1:27am On Dec 18, 2019 |
midnighter:OP will do well to find out why the husband is renegading in their agreement, because it's like a parent who promised a child of a toy only to observe that the toy will distract the child and affect him/her negatively, then the parent suspends the promise. So the man might have seen some negative traits from the wife which she will do well to find out first before getting worked up, this is my style of solving problems. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by djon78(m): 1:28am On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve: No they think its by gra gra. To get real sweetness is serious sense, gentility. Women are very easy to handle Women are like children, lead her by example. Show her you are worth her leadership, and she will be forever loyal. Even the very stubborn ones, can be easily managed But they think na gra gra, I am the man. Honestly many of our men need to get some sense 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 1:29am On Dec 18, 2019 |
djon78: We have more males fewer men 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 1:31am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Desric: Thats also what I advised her to do but the problem is that you are being a hypocrite. So a woman shouldnt start her stupid feminism after the wedding without informing the poor husband but the man is free to start imposing diktats and statutes without informing anybody? Did you see where the woman said the guy stopped eating her food? How can you stop eating food because somebody held you to an arrangement that you yourself agreed to? Even me I can see she has some kind of wrong attitude but putting the blame solely on her for his childish behaviour is nothing but hypocrisy. 3 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Enemyofpeace: 1:33am On Dec 18, 2019 |
I dey here o in case you wan leave am. I no mind remnant 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by doitforyou(f): 1:35am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Desric:Maybe the man should have defined his terms and married a woman with traditional values. There are lots of Nigerian women that would readily become a housewife if they’re presented that choice. Why did he marry a woman that decided she will only be a housewife for two years? That’s always the problem, some men don’t marry women that fit their values but after marriage want to force/subjugate/mold another breathing human being with emotions and aspirations into their idea of a model wife. Also, believe it or not there are feminists that are happily married to men that want their wives to be a partner. You’ll see those men happily show off the achievements of their wives. This world is huge and many men and women have different definitions of an ideal spouse. 17 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Nobody: 1:35am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Desric:Hogwash. The man just wants her to be dependent on him, hand and foot. Money gives you a choice, lots of choices and a voice. Any man who tries to hinder his woman from working is afraid of her having a voice and a range of choices so that she remains dependent on him to make him feel secure. A potentially abusive person. 10 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:36am On Dec 18, 2019 |
CaptainMitch: Which one you know say go suit your pocket, buy am. Thanks Piiko. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:37am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Crackhaus. Food don done for you. Oya, come bash the poor girl. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by CaptainMitch: 1:39am On Dec 18, 2019 |
I be Chief and na detty December we dey UyaiIncomparabl: |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 1:41am On Dec 18, 2019 |
1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Lifecanbeamazin: 1:41am On Dec 18, 2019 |
You married way too young and unfortunately your parents are not protecting you. How old is your husband? I believe he purposely married a 21 yr old and not a matured woman because that has always been his plan. He wants a wife that can be subdued and dictated to. My advise is to empower yourself by been financially dependent so yoy need to get a job. Go back to your parents and ask if their dream is to see you spend so much itime in university and now be a stay home wife with no means of earning money of your own. About your daughter, tell him you love your daughter just as he does and should support you in playing your role as her mom. Talk to a pastor or imam but first of all, make sure they share same belief as yours before asking them to speak to your man. May God help you. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Liposure: 1:49am On Dec 18, 2019 |
If ur husband is against u working.ask him to open a shop 4 u |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by CaptainMitch: 1:51am On Dec 18, 2019 |
UyaiIncomparabl:
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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Nisland(m): 2:09am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Madam please don't do anything.just call your husband at the night and beg him that you know that is right because man is the head of the family.. what you are saying is right sitting down at home is nothing.call one of the family that he can listen to.because married now are really broken and I don't want you to feel like God bless you. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by 2oby: 2:09am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker: Many people wt experience will read n not comment rather will choose to like comments. Don't b surprised that most people asking u to rebel against ur husband r single or unhappy in their marriages. SUBMISSIVENESS: submitting to ur husband can bring unexpected joy to u n ur family, n don't b surprised if it makes him change his mind too. Am sure ur husband disapproves ur METHOD of correction like I did wt my wife too wen our baby was much younger. Children r tender n can get easily misinformed. Tapping a baby's nose while telling her ur displeasure might be enough 4 her to get ur message at this tender age. Ur husband seems not to trust no 1 wt ur baby n u wouldn't blame him cos it is hard to trust this days. Pls appreciate d part of him trying to b a good father even as u r yet to achieve ur desire wt him wc I bliv u can get tru submission. Cheers ma |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Chomzy19(f): 2:19am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker: Before you got married at 21 didn't you hear stories like this one you are just telling us... or you thought it won't happen to you because?? I don't even know what to tell you my sister...women who get married at 21 usually end up as full or semi-full housewives because the power balance is just too off from the onset. That's just the life you choose. Doing anything contrary to what he has said now is an open challenge to him.. reinforcing his ideas about how submissive you'll be when you do start work. As a matter of fact, he may even be correct about how submissive you'll be when you first start work because you are still young and impressionable. You know it gets to everyone's head when they start making real money of their own. Difference is that most people have done it for sometime and calmed down before getting married. Advice: Leave the topic to rest for now and put it in prayer (nothing God cannot do). Try and get pregnant again so that you can be finishing your baby making job (assuming you guys plan to have more than one child). By the time your last child is a toddler, you can revisit the topic again, by then, I believe he wouldn't have much of a problem with it. Most importantly, you will be older and wiser on how to manage him. Meanwhile you can be doing small business by the side while making rearing your children. 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Lush100(m): 2:20am On Dec 18, 2019 |
ma'am, let me give u some honest advice. first truth: you will be dependent on your husband throughout life: his key decision will affect u, his leadership, his finance etc. Most faithful homely men would not want their wife to work at the early stage of their marriage. I have many good friends that do that. they want to enjoy that part. but this has a down side especially in his buhari- economy (that's the new slang now). but since your husband is feeling bouyant- you have to learn to negotiate with him start thinking of a skill u can learn (go for training for as long as u can and make sure it's close home so u can check ur baby). negotiate with him to put u on a kind of stipend, save and use that to build your financial base( make sure u show him true love and attend to his sexual needs so that he will continue to do more for u). invest in things related to the skill u are learning (I mean u practice so u can be perfect). so don't fight ;see the work in another perspective (i.e u are earning some money and u are developing a skill). I am saying all these because he will need u later(financial support) when the bills start rolling in later when guys have like 3 kids and they are growing age-wise. see ur self as a help-mate not his mate.(that's the Bible perspective). I feel he feels u are taking out ur frustration of his decision on your daughter hence his assertion on loving ur daughter. I wish u the best ma. |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by doitforyou(f): 2:21am On Dec 18, 2019 |
djon78: 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by cuteboy2: 2:22am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Ladylite: What kind of advice is this ? Everything you wrote was cool until the bolded. I almost threw up . Is incest that common where you come from? 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by ngwababe(f): 2:23am On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve: You've said it all. 1 Like |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by charleoj(m): 2:26am On Dec 18, 2019 |
E be like say na juju u take marry ur husband. Cos who plant beans and wants to reap yam? Abi 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Raalsalghul: 3:00am On Dec 18, 2019 |
imam07: |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by sonofanarchy(m): 3:36am On Dec 18, 2019 |
SBL28:Op Don't listen to this Jezebel.. she's advicing you what she can't do.this is the most evil advice I have ever seen.so you can't suggest the husband opening a business for her 2 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Liftme(f): 3:41am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Dear damilolacoker, I wish I can share my experience which is quite similar to yours... Some people commented that you married early, I married in my late 20s, started my career immediately after NYSC early 20s, and I was doing relatively okay... I dropped my job in the name of marriage( ex hubby insisted, said I will get another job after our 1st child is like 2 years) He lied, when it was time for me to start job hunting,he came with the ' women working usually aren't submissive' just like your hubby said. Then I discussed business with him, said maybe in 10-15 years , I became the maid gradually( he brought in 6 family members of his one at a time). All I do is cook for them, do dishes, and other house chores). I exhausted my savings, and had to start begging him to give money for ordinary sanitary pads( he'd tell me to go use clothe instead ) ,and when I politely ask for money to buy diaper for our baby, I get insults like ' lazy woman, you don't even know how to make money. ' Do you think it's easy to make this money' . Hmmm, the list is endless. The only difference is my parents never supported the sit at home wife, my dad especially, he insisted I get a job/ hubby funds a personal business for me ( he told hubby he didn't waste his money in sending me to school to be a full housewife. Yes ,he is my ex now, I am single mum, working now and catering well for I and my daughter. This isn't feminism like nairalanders do say, and I am not advising you to quit your marriage ( I had other issues with my ex ,not just the job/ working ). Read comments from healthserve and SBL28. A good husband should be willing to build an empire with you, share your dreams and aspirations. If you're submissive, and not rude to him, then he is wrong to assume you'd not be submissive when you start working. Oro pupo ko le kun agbon/plenty word can't full a basket (A word is enough for the wise) 9 Likes |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Saintmary(f): 3:47am On Dec 18, 2019 |
healthserve:O ga o
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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Mathiasa(m): 3:48am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker:If your parents think u are stubborn, then I think ur husband has a point, aside ur parents, ur husband should know u more. I don't think u are submissive, u are not telling us the whole story. Be submissive and ask him for anything, he will agree. 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by KingGBsky(m): 3:52am On Dec 18, 2019 |
SBL28: Why are some women so crazy and self centered. So your basic advice is for her to forget her husband and get a job. She should divorce him. If they check you out you still single. Nonsense. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by KingGBsky(m): 3:56am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Damilolacoker: Don’t listen to the fool |
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by VNOS(m): 4:12am On Dec 18, 2019 |
Excellently said Forward77: 1 Like |
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