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Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain - Family (8) - Nairaland

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My Husband Is Too Jealous / Sex Is Causing Problems In My Marriage, Help Me Save My Marriage / My Husband Is Very Jealous Because I’m Beautiful – 16-year-old Housewife (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Hizzy(m): 12:24am On Dec 18, 2019
healthserve:



Don't go far. All sisters are working own their businesses. Their husband's even brag where we keep them is where we find them.


Go and develop psychologically. If a man can't marry a woman without wondering what's happening to her pussy anytime she's away, he's unfit for marriage. My inner fortitude isn't dependent on having my wife glued to me to be assured of her loyalty. It's my inner person development.


Go and read boy
In my place we don't offer our wife like cola nut to visitors
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by NaijaRoyalty(m): 12:25am On Dec 18, 2019
SBL28:


Shut up there, chairwoman of the suffering and smiling club. The same Bible asked men to love their wives like Christ loved the church. What the OP's husband is doing to her, is that an embodiment of love. Or the poster told you she has not discussed it with him calmly? Why should a man even want to control his wife. Is that what the Bible preaches
So being submissive is letting a man ruin your life and then you wake up at 50, children have left the house and you have absolutely nothing to show Radarada.

Go get your head examined , you've lost it completely .

You must be a very bitter woman , single and frustrated .

You obviously wants to destroy the young woman's marriage with your useless advice but God no go gree for you. Nonsense

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 12:25am On Dec 18, 2019
Hizzy:

In my place we don't offer our wife like cola nut to visitors


All our daughters married their first or second sutior and none had another lover. By the way our daughters handle big money projects, contracts positions in churches etc and even men in the community look up to them as a moral Compass..its not just about woman but the quality we breed
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Conceptman: 12:27am On Dec 18, 2019
imam07:
so u totally believed all wht d OP posted here. Kai. U never know women. Heat d man side of d story b4 writing this. I know if u understand women. OBINRIN. U wld nit have said this. Women will never say they are at fault in anything. Nah u d husband needs wisdom or else u go die. The woman's parents too understand their daughter than d husband. That's is d reason they gave that decision. A very rude girl will learn her lesson in her husband house.
imam sa la ma le ku, exactly my thoughts the parents know their daughter and if she lose her mum, this kind parent will not welcome her in their house.
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 12:27am On Dec 18, 2019
irynterri:
after reading the first two pages I had given up on nlders till I came across your comments and it renewed my hopes that Alas, not everyone here is myopic and stupid. thanks a lot. O.p pls follow his advice


wink

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Forward77(m): 12:27am On Dec 18, 2019
Fountainofyouth:



Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people, I cannot waste my energy and time to reply you logically.



Smart people make contributions, while empty brained dumbos seek unnecessary attention and make loud noise.

Look closely and you’ll find yourself in either of those categories.

Have a great night.

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Desric(m): 12:28am On Dec 18, 2019
djon78:


Dude most of you are backward and acheic simple. How can you tell your wife not to work. Its barbaric simple.
I am a very exposed traditional African man but telling your wife not to work is evil.

And like I said, men with this kind of thinking are those that lived loose life as singles, they think every woman is loose.

I have married sisters, beautiful, smart, intelligent, classy. My parents brought them up in traditional African way, they run homes perfectly But all there husbands allow them to work.

I am from Anambra State that has produced pace setting women, married and still submissive to there husbands; late Dora Akunyili, Oby Ezekwwsili, Chimanda Adichie etc

Do you know Dora all the time she was in NAFDAC/ Minister, she cooks the food her husband eats. Nobody does it for her.

See we raise our daughters be submissive, but don't give up on your dreams. And when the men comes to marry our daughters we tell them, that you can't stop there careers.

That's what my Dad told all the men that came to marry his daughters; they have been raised perfectly for you, marry them well, and the girls don't disappoint.

See there are quality women of sound stock out there. But not every man deserve them. They are meant for men who know value, not backward and acheic kind of men










Your choice must not be another man's choice, that's the reality of life and that's why we have options as humans, it's your right to choose the option that best fits your ambition.
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 12:28am On Dec 18, 2019
Hizzy:

Once she attain the age of doing business without being deceived her husband will give her go ahead

Im sorry to insult you like this but you must be crazy.

So her husband has the right to age her like wine?

He wants to waste her and mess her up in the house until he thinks nobody will come near her before he allows her to get a life or what?

4 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:29am On Dec 18, 2019
TonyeBarcanista:

My sister's husband is the HEAD of his home, not me. My own is that he takes care of her and treats her well. If my sister want to work she can focus on her craft or business but not in a corporate setting as long as her husband kicks against going corporate.

Life is that simple! The most important is having a HAPPY HOME
grin

2 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Lexusgs430: 12:30am On Dec 18, 2019
Damilolacoker:
Hello everyone I'm 24 years old and I have been married for three years. last year we had our first baby . Prior to our wedding, I and my husband decided I'll be allowed to work once our baby is old enough to attend day Care. Now our daughter is almost 2 years and he has refused to let me work. We've had countless arguments about this and it always ends with him saying women who work are not always submissive. I cannot be a full house wife , I am educated and cannot sit at home all say.

He recently told my parents I was being rude to him and they're all saying I should do whatever my husband wants. I love him but on this issue, I refuse to agree with him.

The other part here is he doesn't like me correcting our daughter. She's almost 2 and it irritates him whenever I try to potty train her or scold her. He insists I go to check up on Her at school during break hours. I understand that she's quite young but as her mother, I want the best for her.

Now he's changed towards me, he doesn't care or pamper me like he used to , sometimes he refuses to eat at home and when I try to speak with him, he's always very cold. Please help me, I don't know what to do anymore.


Why would a man in 2019, not want to allow his wife take up paid employment?


Answer = He is a bully and a control freak. He thinks he owns you, and can control you.....

The battle is yours to fight............

10 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by TonyeBarcanista(m): 12:31am On Dec 18, 2019
midnighter:


Your position is the one that was nowhere; you tried to compare the generation of yesteryear with that of now in order to justify your stance, when the two time periods are totally incompatible.

An 18 year old getting married in todays society is absolutely preposterous, full stop.

Like I said, 22 years is on the early side but still redeemable if the person is ready to juggle several balls at once. But still quite unnecessary.

I said that the type of personal development that OP is looking for would be better attained before marriage. I didnt say that personal development stops when one gets married so you dont have any point.
You sound funny Honestly!

World over, INCLUDING developed countries, 18-21 year olds do get married. Nigeria of course is no different.

I don't even know the generation crap you are saying but it doesn't make sense honestly.

Anyway, my point is, 22 year old is not too young for marriage.

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Forward77(m): 12:31am On Dec 18, 2019
Chi59:

Oh I'm a feminist because I denounced your blind beliefs?
You tell me, so you think you're a big baby, possessive and throwing tantrums at your age. I'm sure you have white hairs on your balls, yet you think you're a baby.
Come lemme breastfeed you.
Shame.


Yet you have no solution to her problem.

Smart people make contributions, while empty brained dumbos seek unnecessary attention and make loud noise.

Look closely and you’ll find yourself in either of those categories.

Have a great life.
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Hizzy(m): 12:31am On Dec 18, 2019
healthserve:



Don't go far. All sisters are working own their businesses. Their husband's even brag where we keep them is where we find them.


Go and develop psychologically. If a man can't marry a woman without wondering what's happening to her pussy anytime she's away, he's unfit for marriage. My inner fortitude isn't dependent on having my wife glued to me to be assured of her loyalty. It's my inner person development.


Go and read boy
Read I'm reading every minute but
Those that said that they are educated are the problems we have in this world especially Nigeria
Too much book de confuse brain
Now look at where the educated one kept Nigeria
Who and who is handling our Economy a professor in actually sense he suppose show us his educational quality through his policies but things are hard
Look most of this Agbero boys will do better than PHD holders.
Dem no de study wisdom for school
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:34am On Dec 18, 2019
BravoDe:
Damilolacoker

U married too early
22yo and you're married, hmm

What do you mean she married too early? Is there a particular age for getting married? undecided
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 12:34am On Dec 18, 2019
Hizzy:

Read I'm reading every minute but
Those that said that they are educated are the problems we have in this world especially Nigeria
Too much book de confuse brain
Now look at where the educated one kept Nigeria
Who and who is handling our Economy a professor in actually sense he suppose show us his educational quality through his policies but things are hard
Look most of this Agbero boys will do better than PHD holders.
Dem no de study wisdom for school


Educated. Embarked on over 300 person Al projects. At the moment working on my startup. Company 20 workers. Commander in chief of an entire clan where even married men take notes when I talk. Education isn't attending a school but of the development of the mind, soul, character by values and experiences learnt through the process. Education without refinement amounts to waste of opportunity. Education isn't schooling. Many go to school, few come out educated.


Top 2.5% my entire educational career. Worked across 23 fields of life. Education has done me good. Even my peers see me, come down from their cars and take a bow

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by TonyeBarcanista(m): 12:34am On Dec 18, 2019
UyaiIncomparabl:
When you get married we can discuss further grin

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by demarc001: 12:35am On Dec 18, 2019
Forward77:
Take my advise.

Men are big babies and you know babies are possessive and stubborn.

You have to understand that he’s your husband and not just anyone else.

He said clearly that women who work are not submissive.
He’s right about that.

Don’t argue with him. Show him that you are not going to be rebellious.

Don’t nag at him Learn to negotiate with your husband. Treat him you will treat yourself, because you won’t nag at yourself, but you’ll rather negotiate.

Don’t destroy your marriage now It’s obvious that he’s no more comfortable being around you; you have to make him feel comfortable. To have him with you because if you start to loose him, small girls with big gODS with snap him up.

Marriage is not always easy There’re no perfect marriages, so learn to compromise and always apply negotiation to avoid having a destroyed home.

From my understanding, there’s something you’re doing that is making him take such a decision and others things he does.

We know you’re a graduate and want to work and all that, but lower your standards and remember that you’re married.

The secret weapon is NEGOTIATION

I wish you good luck

God bless you, you practically pointed out the causes of problems in marriages today. When most women gets settled in relationships they become to self centered and loose submisiveness. What they won't argue with their child or outsiders they start arguing with the husband
Respect they give outsiders they won't give their man yet they want to be treated like queens. How is that attainable

Rule of marriage:
Man love your wife, woman submit to your husband
If any party is not accepting this then he/she is destroying the union

Love births submission and submission fuels the love a man has for the wife.

A man approaching a lady must show love for her to accept him, she submits to him that is why he could take his money to go *pay* her bride price (who pays to get trouble if she didn't show submissiveness)

Now the problem starts when after marriage one of them ignores his/her function in the rule

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Hizzy(m): 12:35am On Dec 18, 2019
midnighter:


Im sorry to insult you like this but you must be crazy.

So her husband has the right to age her like wine?

He wants to waste her and mess her up in the house until he thinks nobody will come near her before he allows her to get a life or what?
Thanks but according to you he wants to mess her before allowing her to go get life
Chai
She should choose between getting life or having peaceful home
Chikina
If na now wah shen marry wah she wan enjoy she should do as it pleases her
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by djon78(m): 12:35am On Dec 18, 2019
healthserve:



My brother God bless you. How I wish I knew one of your single sisters earlier.... cheesy


God forbid I give my daughter to any man who stops them from living their dreams. Men that turn doctors to tailors. grin Rather than destroy the woman, it's their selves they should fixand build up. Stupeed tins they are.



Like I said its barbaric men that behave like that. Work makes a woman into a better person.

My mum retired as a top director in her profession. But we were raised up excellently.
See women not married should shine there eyes when dating. Find out the kind of man you are tying yourself to.
A lot are dream killers.
Every human being created by God comes to this world with a dream.

If you are a man, ensure your wife pursues her dream, support her, don't let it affect the home stead, learn how to balance it. And you will have a happy, fulfilled woman in your home

Most men only think because they are young now, you will get old. And when you do, then you will know that your children will be more inclined to there mothers, and if you made her life miserable, pay back time is coming.

Love your wife
Make her happy and fulfilled
And you will know that you are laying a good seed you will reap in the future.


But most times we are now raising very wicked, mean and callous men, who think its only now forgetting the future.

Look at one very powerful rich senator them from oguta in IMO state. I won't call his name. He never valued women.
Today he is sick, a vegetable, can't move again. With all his money, no woman is with him, wife's, children all abandoned him.
There is payback tomorrow, as long as there is God in heaven

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by CaptainMitch: 12:36am On Dec 18, 2019
Yes 13 years
UyaiIncomparabl:


What do you mean she married too early? Is there a particular age for getting married? undecided
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 12:36am On Dec 18, 2019
TonyeBarcanista:

You sound funny Honestly!

World over, INCLUDING developed countries, 18-21 year olds do get married. Nigeria of course is no different.

I don't even know the generation crap you are saying but it doesn't make sense honestly.

Anyway, my point is, 22 year old is not too young for marriage.

Hahaha cheesy the generation crap I am saying ? You are the one who started that crap by mentioning our mothers so you must be confused

I didnt say 18 year olds dont get married, cant you read? I said that an 18 year old getting married is a stupid idea when the expectations of and for an adult in todays society are totally different to those of previous generations.

A 22 year old is probably too young for marriage, all things considered. That was my own point, before you start making things up again.

3 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Hizzy(m): 12:37am On Dec 18, 2019
healthserve:



Educated. Embarked on over 300 person Al projects. At the moment working on my startup. Company 20 workers. Commander in chief of an entire clan where even married men take notes when I talk. Education isn't attending a school but of the development of the mind, soul, character by values and experiences learnt through the process. Education without refinement amounts to waste of opportunity. Education isn't schooling. Many go to school, few come out educated.


Top 2.5% my entire educational career. Worked across 23 fields of life. Education has done me good. Even my peers see me, come down from their cars and take a bow
But you said I should go and read
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 12:37am On Dec 18, 2019
djon78:




Like I said its barbaric men that behave like that. Work makes a woman into a better person.

My mum retired as a top director in her profession. But we were raised up excellently.
See women not married should shine there eyes when dating. Find out the kind of man you are tying yourself to.
A lot are dream killers.
Every human being created by God comes to this world with a dream.

If you are a man, ensure your wife pursues her dream, support her, don't let it affect the home stead, learn how to balance it. And you will have a happy, fulfilled woman in your home

Most men only think because they are young now, you will get old. And when you do, then you will know that your children will be more inclined to there mothers, and if you made her life miserable, pay back time is coming.

Love your wife
Make her happy and fulfilled
And you will know that you are laying a good seed you will reap in the future.


But most times we are now raising very wicked, mean and callous men, who think its only now forgetting the future.

Look at one very powerful rich senator them from oguta in IMO state. I won't call his name. He never valued women.
Today he is sick, a vegetable, can't move again. With all his money, no woman is with him, wife's, children all abandoned him.
There is payback tomorrow, as long as there is God in heaven



Marriage should Improve a woman not destroy her. The amount of dysfunctional males we have in the society is sickening. In a military era, I could have all these guys cuffed up and kept in a psyche ward for total mental overhaul. Damn it. No wonder the nation is stuck in average.

The mere assumption that an educated woman is a slut or won't be submissive is sickening.


The competition is against mediocrity and not women, their supporters and cheerleaders.ittle wonder one can hardly see a married woman wearing a happy face outside of church attendance and societal events attendance. Chai


How I wish single ladies will read your comment a thousand times and more. These guys are serious destiny killers

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Desric(m): 12:38am On Dec 18, 2019
healthserve:



Educated. Embarked on over 300 person Al projects. At the moment working on my startup. Company 20 workers. Commander in chief of an entire clan where even married men take notes when I talk. Education isn't attending a school but of the development of the mind, soul, character by values and experiences learnt through the process. Education without refinement amounts to waste of opportunity. Education isn't schooling. Many go to school, few come out educated.


Top 2.5% my entire educational career. Worked across 23 fields of life. Education has done me good. Even my peers see me, come down from their cars and take a bow
If you are all these, you won't be too quick dispel the man for not allowing his wife to work just yet, instead you'd have advised the wife to find out what the man's reasons are for not wanting her to work before you can give a sound advice on a way forward.

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by midnighter(f): 12:39am On Dec 18, 2019
Hizzy:

Thanks but according to you he wants to mess her before allowing her to go get life
Chai
She should choose between getting life or having peaceful home
Chikina
If na now wah shen marry wah she wan enjoy she should do as it pleases her

She shouldnt have to choose between those two. Your house shouldnt be a prison

1 Like

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by jimmyLd101: 12:39am On Dec 18, 2019
Damilolacoker:
Hello everyone I'm 24 years old and I have been married for three years. last year we had our first baby . Prior to our wedding, I and my husband decided I'll be allowed to work once our baby is old enough to attend day Care. Now our daughter is almost 2 years and he has refused to let me work. We've had countless arguments about this and it always ends with him saying women who work are not always submissive. I cannot be a full house wife , I am educated and cannot sit at home all say.

He recently told my parents I was being rude to him and they're all saying I should do whatever my husband wants. I love him but on this issue, I refuse to agree with him.

The other part here is he doesn't like me correcting our daughter. She's almost 2 and it irritates him whenever I try to potty train her or scold her. He insists I go to check up on Her at school during break hours. I understand that she's quite young but as her mother, I want the best for her.

Now he's changed towards me, he doesn't care or pamper me like he used to , sometimes he refuses to eat at home and when I try to speak with him, he's always very cold. Please help me, I don't know what to do anymore.
Whatever your case may be cost men drama. Nothing capture human interest like human tragedy
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by healthserve(m): 12:40am On Dec 18, 2019
Desric:
If you are all these, you won't be too quick dispel the man for not allowing his wife to work just yet, instead you'd have advised the wife to find out what the man's reasons are for not wanting her to work before you can give a sound advice on a way forward.


I didn't dispel. I'm not the only one speaking. Weare speaking cause we have see. His kinds million times before now. A lot. I mean alot. I've had women close to me who died in their marriages sef. So I'm experienced a enough to all a bluff a bluff when I see it. It's his head and ego that needs the fixing not the woman.

2 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Philpham: 12:43am On Dec 18, 2019
Nigerian men are so evil

3 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Hizzy(m): 12:43am On Dec 18, 2019
midnighter:


She shouldnt have to choose between those two. Your house shouldnt be a prison
Nagging is not good it destroys homes
She's nagging
And that's the problem
Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 12:44am On Dec 18, 2019
I swear, I'm tired of this marriage bullocks! I fear for this thing called marriage seriously. Everywhere, rules and regulations just to keep these sets of overgrown urchins called 'men'. In the end, we're not favored.

Ehn, be submissive, watch war room, don't let his food go stale, always be punctual to make a hot bath for him, I've been in marriage for 47 years and I served my husband all through. Wo! I don't like what I hate o! grin

This attitude of insecurity, immaturity, insensitivity and a seeming need to be controlling from the male folks is seriously nauseating. Imagine that one who said men are big babies, and should be pampered. Chai, I no fit laugh. Thunder from above! grin

9 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Josade4(m): 12:45am On Dec 18, 2019
You're a wise woman.
I love u.

SBL28:
You have to take some hard decisions. Your parents failed you by not fighting for you, it is now left to you to save yourself.

You should be doing something meaningful with your life. Why did he not marry a stark illiterate instead of imprisoning someone's daughter.

Go and start looking for a job and avoid getting pregnant at this period (that is what some men use to pin down their wives). If he wants to break the marriage because of that, let him. You can't just be sitting on your hands waiting for him to feed you for the rest of your life.


Edited to add for the slow pokes here yarning dust under my comment:

No sensible man will divorce his wife because she got a job. She can't be crying about not being able to do a job when she does not even have one in the first place. For how long will she continue to nurture her husband's insecurities?? She should look for a job that won't be too far, somewhere she won't have to close late so he won't have more ammunition to use against her.

Many older women today regret not standing up for themselves on time. The earlier the issue is trashed out the better.

2 Likes

Re: Help, My Husband Is Causing Me Pain by Dannonye(f): 12:46am On Dec 18, 2019
Contact a marriage counsellor there may be more to this Try not to ask total strangers abt personal issues oo

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