franchasng:
You have a point but not entirely true.
Financial freedom gives a guy confidence, and it is your level of confidence as a man that increases your sex appeal to ladies.

if you need money to be confident around women then, i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, you aint confident at all.

He needs his confidence to attract or win his desired lady or ladies as the case may be.

if you cant attract these same women without money then you are just on a long thing.

When we talk about a guy focusing on making money and improving his financial life first before going after ladies, it is not for him to have money to be spending and squandering on ladies no, it is for his own good, to give him enough confidence and self esteem to attract or pursued his desired lady.

if a lady is not attracted to you (without money), then whether you have money or not is irrelevant, this woman does NOT like you (aint attracted to you)....and no amount of money in the world can change that, confidence or not.

The op need to focus on improving his financial life so he can make good use of his little resources and abundant time to create wealth.

everybody on earth should improve their financial status, whether poor or wealthy.... but that has absolutely nothing to do with dating and seeking for a mate. if your confidence solely comes with making money, then something is seriously wrong with you.
look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you see, even if you are broke...

Logobenz:
Na with empty hand them dey use build depot?
Abi you go use your head buy am?
You big so,you never still get sense
Eeewww!!

Lol. Now I understand why u post food on that thread and get only 3 likes while ur mates are getting 29 likes. I'm sure u wanna get a nasty reaction from me but u know what nwaneni, not today, not tomorrow, not ever. Already made the mistake of reply that ur first mention, won't repeat itself. Don't ever mention me cos I will never reply you.

u dont need to be a billionaire or get a very good job before u can get a girl.if na woman be ur main issue then just go and talk to one nau.all those jobless men u see around with babes or those okada men,street barbers,gatemen wey dey control women about are they not human beings? if na money u feel say u go take get a woman u will get the woman quite alright with ur money but she will be using ur money to spend on another nigga and when money finish she go run .i dont want to believe that u dat ugly or repulsive that no girl wants to be with u.i have seen jobless guys that other girls collect money from their rich boyfriends and spend on them.i believe your main prority after school is getting a good job and not getting a gwenfwend cos girls boku everywia in naija but good jobs are scarce.

MrBrownJay1:


if you need money to be confident around women then, i am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, you aint confident at all.



if you cant attract these same women without money then you are just on a long thing.



if a lady is not attracted to you (without money), then whether you have money or not is irrelevant, this woman does NOT like you (aint attracted to you)....and no amount of money in the world can change that, confidence or not.



everybody on earth should improve their financial status, whether poor or wealthy.... but that has absolutely nothing to do with dating and seeking for a mate. if your confidence solely comes with making money, then something is seriously wrong with you.
look at yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you see, even if you are broke

Honestly you are getting it all wrong. The op narrated his life situation, he can't even provide basic amenities of life for himself, which is what money alone can provide, how can a man who cannot provide his basic amenities to survive have confidence, are you listening to yourself brother


He doesn't need the money to squander it on ladies or girls or women, he needs the money to take care of his basic needs which will give him the confidence as a man to even start looking happy, good and confident enough to attract his desired women.

Misery have no friend, haven't you heard of that Any man that is still struggling to take care of his basic needs doesn't need a girlfriend or wife in his life unless the girlfriend or wife will help him improve his life financially.

We live in a capitalist world today, everything you need to survive requires money, and if you don't have the money to feed yourself properly, clothe yourself adequately, provide a conducive accommodation for yourself and be able to take care of your other human basic needs, my brother I can tell you boldly that as a man, you won't have the confidence to approach any woman or accept to date any woman who won't help your life financially, you can take this to the bank and I am sure if you are in a tight financial situation that you don't even know where your next meal will be coming from or whether it will ever come for the day, and don't know how your future will be because you have no job, no hope of securing one after 2 years plus, the least thing that will be on your mind will be how to get a girlfriend, that's if the guy in question is sensible and reasonable enough to tell himself the truth, but if you insist, no problem then, preach on! lol




On the part I put on bold in your comment, if you are too broke to even provide your basic needs as a young graduate after 2 years, I bet you, when you look yourself in the mirror, you will not like yourself to even think of being happy enough to approach ladies to woo them or attract one, please brother, try and be real, put yourself in the op's shoe....let's not comment just for commenting sake, not cool

lefulefu2:
u dont need to be a billionaire or get a very good job before u can get a girl.if na woman be ur main issue then just go and talk to one nau.all those jobless men u see around with babes or those okada men,street barbers,gatemen wey dey control women about are they not human beings? if na money u feel say u go take get a woman u will get the woman quite alright with ur money but she will be using ur money to spend on another nigga and when money finish she go run .i dont want to believe that u dat ugly or repulsive that no girl wants to be with u.i have seen jobless guys that other girls collect money from their rich boyfriends and spend on them.i believe your main prority after school is getting a good job and not getting a gwenfwend cos girls boku everywia in naija but good jobs are scarce.

Lefu, you guys are getting the op all wrong honestly....this is a graduate who spent years in school studying hard to have a good life, now its been 2 years since he passed out from NYSC and no job, no foreseable one coming, future looks bleak while I am sure some of his mates are making it well and building their dream life, and you think such a man if sensible enough won't be depressed and worried of how to get out of his tight and sorry financial situation first to even think of getting a girlfriend

Those Okada, artisans, etc you mentioned have their life to live, some already concluded to live a financially miserable life, so to them, their current condition is their best, so they are living their best life financially and otherwise, so their confidence is in tact to woo any girl they fancy, but the op's confidence is dead due to his unexpected situation which life unexpectedly threw at him opposite to his wishes and dream while studying. so his case is far far different from those artisans you mentioned.

Every man need confidence to attract or approach his desired woman, and most times, when your basic needs as a man is not met, your confidence will be zero, and that is the situation the op is in right now, and all he needs now is to focus on sorting himself out financially and not any girlfriend that will compound his life problems with unnecessary financial requests.

If he must date, let him go on foreign dating sites and look for foreign ladies who can help his financial situation while dating, that's my own opinion though.


The money a man needs is not to give to women but to solve his basic needs and make him develop confidence enough to attract or woo his desired women...

Though everybody differs, some men crave for alcohol, sex, and they chase women more when they are financially broke...that's when they become more sexually active, whereas some men dislike alcohol, women and sex whenever they are financially down....I think the op belongs to that group of men, and it is very normal...it is the trait of most men who dream high and aim high in life.


All those broke, vision-less guys that consume alcohol and pursue women around have poor dream in life, they are happy and fulfilled with their sorry financial situation, and so they are very confident and happy in their sorry financial situation, and they may remain so forever or for long if help doesn't come their way from somewhere....but most reasonable men I know focus on improving their lives first before chasing women around or procreating children without plans but hoping for one rich relative or uncle or friend to help them train their kids

YorubaKing:
Go brothel (Empire, Jolly friends etc..) go find ashana now... N500 - N1K would do the magic... Thank me later.

Brothel to do what?

SirLiquidGold:
its not about sex... There are certain things the BROTHEL can't offer

CsRockefeller:


Bros let's look at it objectively o.

What if this guy is a need, throughout out his youthful days, he spent his time reading. Got to the University, didn't chase girls, was so focused on his books, graduated with a good grade and at an early age.

After service, had high hopes of getting a decent job, searched, searched and couldn't find any. Even if he found, he found low paying jobs. When he got home frustrated, no one to talk to, no female voice to hear from, the pressures at home is too much, no place to relax or someone to relax with and just tell.him things will be fine.

Now, he's 29, his Finances haven't changed for the better, he's lonely and craves for a feminine touch, he's afraid he may die broke and lonely.

Statistically, he stands a better chance getting a lady than a job, so, he decides to go get a lady to make him happy, even if it's for a while.

Can we truly fault this guy sincerely?

Things are really bad in this country Bros. His Finances may never change and it shouldn't stop him from getting a shot at love, we all deserve someone.

Cool.

CsRockefeller:


Bros let's look at it objectively o.

What if this guy is a need, throughout out his youthful days, he spent his time reading. Got to the University, didn't chase girls, was so focused on his books, graduated with a good grade and at an early age.

After service, had high hopes of getting a decent job, searched, searched and couldn't find any. Even if he found, he found low paying jobs. When he got home frustrated, no one to talk to, no female voice to hear from, the pressures at home is too much, no place to relax or someone to relax with and just tell.him things will be fine.

Now, he's 29, his Finances haven't changed for the better, he's lonely and craves for a feminine touch, he's afraid he may die broke and lonely.

Statistically, he stands a better chance getting a lady than a job, so, he decides to go get a lady to make him happy, even if it's for a while.

Can we truly fault this guy sincerely?

Things are really bad in this country Bros. His Finances may never change and it shouldn't stop him from getting a shot at love, we all deserve someone.

You’re right after all, but you know it’s almost impossible for a broke and jobless man to get a girlfriend. Today’s women are not as patient and considerate like our mothers who stayed with their men despite lack of finance. If the poster is even lucky to find a babe, she will end up frustrating his life if his lack of money persist. Indeed life is not fair to some.

Papertrail11:




Can we all cut it with this mentality and stop commercializing relationships it brings out the worst in people over time.

Men and women should create an avenue to get to know each other and build something.

Yes men and women should be able to have a relationship without commercializing it, but the reality of today is that women won’t stay with a broke man. Men are getting dumped due to a poor state of finance, It’s happening everywhere.

bukatyne:


Brothel to do what?

To preach the gospel.

SirLiquidGold:
I will go straight to the point. I'm 29years old and I have no girlfriend to call mine. Although when I was in school and during my NYSC some girls do give me attention but the moment we all did POP it was like the world changed for us all. I realized maybe I was too busy getting worried about the future than I should have had more time for women.

All along, my intention was to graduate, have a good job, then go into a serious relationship and get married but reality can be often disappointing.
It's rather unfortunate that no job is forthcoming since I finished service in December, 2017.

I'm very sure you would not believe it if tell you that I'm a virgin because I've never tasted sex all my live. Though i intend getting married at 30 and I've no job yet, I really feel like having a girl in my life now. I feel really lonely waking up alone everyday and hugging my pillow. It's as if nature is craving for what I ought to have had by now.

I need somebody that I can share my thought with, somebody I would be there for and also would be there for me. Guys I know you are wiser than I am, please advise me!!! Just yesterday night I came across a post on front page about "if money was delaying one from getting married and I am really worried

Yeye boy

U can't even afford a girlfriend now
Focus on getting a good job first then other things will follow

franchasng:
Lefu, you guys are getting the op all wrong honestly....this is a graduate who spent years in school studying hard to have a good life, now its been 2 years since he passed out from NYSC and no job, no foreseable one coming, future looks bleak while I am sure some of his mates are making it well and building their dream life, and you think such a man if sensible enough won't be depressed and worried of how to get out of his tight and sorry financial situation first to even think of getting a girlfriend

Those Okada, artisans, etc you mentioned have their life to live, some already concluded to live a financially miserable life, so to them, their current condition is their best, so they are living their best life financially and otherwise, so their confidence is in tact to woo any girl they fancy, but the op's confidence is dead due to his unexpected situation which life unexpectedly threw at him opposite to his wishes and dream while studying. so his case is far far different from those artisans you mentioned.

Every man need confidence to attract or approach his desired woman, and most times, when your basic needs as a man is not met, your confidence will be zero, and that is the situation the op is in right now, and all he needs now is to focus on sorting himself out financially and not any girlfriend that will compound his life problems with unnecessary financial requests.

If he must date, let him go on foreign dating sites and look for foreign ladies who can help his financial situation while dating, that's my own opinion though.


The money a man needs is not to give to women but to solve his basic needs and make him develop confidence enough to attract or woo his desired women...

Though everybody differs, some men crave for alcohol, sex, and they chase women more when they are financially broke...that's when they become more sexually active, whereas some men dislike alcohol, women and sex whenever they are financially down....I think the op belongs to that group of men, and it is very normal...it is the trait of most men who dream high and aim high in life.


All those broke, vision-less guys that consume alcohol and pursue women around have poor dream in life, they are happy and fulfilled with their sorry financial situation, and so they are very confident and happy in their sorry financial situation, and they may remain so forever or for long if help doesn't come their way from somewhere....but most reasonable men I know focus on improving their lives first before chasing women around or procreating children without plans but hoping for one rich relative or uncle or friend to help them train their kids

see ehn i would understand if the main issue racking his heart is about not being able to get a good job after all his struggle in school and his nysc...not girlfriend or sex.it just like some guys who come on nairaland to moan that they cant get a girl because they dont own a car or dont ride a particular brand or own a duplex .my guy if the only way u can talk to a girl is only when u have a fat account so what happens God forbid if u now lose that job and u now sell ur car to survive.so that means u will now go back to ur timid mode .Yes money is important but your personality to money because money comes and goes.u see all those mumu men dat rent duplex and take pay flight tickets for girls just to impress the girl or make d girl fall in love with him..but then the girls still cheat on them.if u cant relate with the opposite sex when broke then u will still have a problem even when u wealthy.they will just be eating ur money and spending it on other men they fancy.no be naija babes again .

franchasng:




If he must date, let him go on foreign dating sites and look for foreign ladies who can help his financial situation while dating, that's my own opinion though.

i agree to this..he can relate with a foreign lady on a foreign dating site though most foreign dating sites are filled with yahoo boys.lets say he was outside the country then most foreign ladies wont really be that concerned u riding a big car or live in a big house but be more concerned about ur personality.its only in naija we use car,house and big money for account to rate ourselves before we talk to a girl .sometimes its partly to do with inferiority complex.

lefulefu2:
see ehn i would understand if the main issue racking his heart is about not being able to get a good job after all his struggle in school and his nysc...not girlfriend or sex.it just like some guys who come on nairaland to moan that they cant get a girl because they dont own a car or dont ride a particular brand or own a duplex .my guy if the only way u can talk to a girl is only when u have a fat account so what happens God forbid if u now lose that job and u now sell ur car to survive.so that means u will now go back to ur timid mode .Yes money is important but your personality to money because money comes and goes.u see all those mumu men dat rent duplex and take pay flight tickets for girls just to impress the girl or make d girl fall in love with him..but then the girls still cheat on them.if u cant relate with the opposite sex when broke then u will still have a problem even when u wealthy.they will just be eating ur money and spending it on other men they fancy.no be naija babes again .

The op didn't mention buying a bicycle to even talk of car.

The guy clearly stated without pretence that his is broke, no job since he finished NYSC in 2017 which is 2 years ago, and I am sure he is surviving from family stipends and saved income from NYSC.

So you weren't even supposed to think towards any guy saying he cannot get a girlfriend because he doesn't own a car or a fat account.

The op clearly stated that due to his inability to secure a job since he passed out from NYSC, that he is broke and doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't even have the confidence, he made it clear.

The best advice to him now if you or we truly care is to tell him to focus squarely on sorting his financial situation out so he can be able to get his confidence back as a man when he can be able to foot his own bills and provide his own basic needs without relying on family and friends. Once this is sorted out, he will be confident enough to woo the kind of girls he fancy and not lower his desire out of his current financial status only to ditch the innocent girl when things turns out better for him just because the girl he got wasn't his taste but he had to lie to himself just so he can get laid temporarily, which is a disaster and reason many marriages are in a mess today.

Forget the guys that said or say a guy need big money or luxury cars to get girls in Nigeria, those are oxymoron or let me say exaggeration of course.


In fact guys that don't even own cars get fresher girls in Nigeria than guys that drive cars who end up with packaged runz girls, that's if the guy without car dresses well and have his confidence in place.


You know why They enter public transport buses which is the easiest and commonest place to get refined local Nigerian girls that are not out to hook up with rich dudes but just going about her normal business.

I speak because I once experienced this, met a wonderful girl one day I boarded a public bus to Apapa Tincan because the road was totally blocked that year, low and behold, I met this angel girl sitting beside me, in fact they were too many cute girls in the bus that got me confused and if I wasn't seriously hooked, I would have ended up dating that girl, though she still communicates with me once in a while not knowing I am hooked cos I don't want to tell her and I don't show her seriousness.


So in conclusion, the op need financial liberation first before ladies or sex.

If he is in so much pressure that he can no longer bear, let him masturbate (many great men do it, that's what most scientists and busy men do), it will save him so much stress and worries about girlfriend and its wahala.

lefulefu2:
i agree to this..he can relate with a foreign lady on a foreign dating site though most foreign dating sites are filled with yahoo boys.lets say he was outside the country then most foreign ladies wont really be that concerned u riding a big car or live in a big house but be more concerned about ur personality.its only in naija we use car,house and big money for account to rate ourselves before we talk to a girl .sometimes its partly to do with inferiority complex.

lol, u and this your big car and big house eh lol, it must have been so long you visited Nigeria. Me I am in town currently and everywhere is bubbling lol, its not as bad as we paint it here most times

franchasng:
lol, u and this your big car and big house eh lol, it must have been so long you visited Nigeria. Me I am in town currently and everywhere is bubbling lol, its not as bad as we paint it here most times

haba its just august i left and me talking abaout big car and big house is just re echoing what some nairalanders say in here about getting a partner .in some threads some guys moan that no girl is looking their way because the job they are doing is not lucrative enough or they are not earning six figure salaries while others moan they cant get a girlfriend because the car they riding is not the latest brand .the thing just dey wow me cos in dat same naija i see okada men having wives plus side chics to boot and dem no get the latest brand of car and the house dem dey stay na face-me-i-face-u.how dem dey do am?

lefulefu2:
haba its just august i left and me talking abaout big car and big house is just re echoing what some nairalanders say in here about getting a partner .in some threads some guys moan that no girl is looking their way because the job they are doing is not lucrative enough or they are not earning six figure salaries while others moan they cant get a girlfriend because the car they riding is not the latest brand .the thing just dey wow me cos in dat same naija i see okada men having wives plus side chics to boot and dem no get the latest brand of car and the house dem dey stay na face-me-i-face-u.how dem dey do am?

Your case na special center case

I used to feel this way man. In my 5th year in uni i was very broke. I live on 500# a week u can't belive this and my gf quit because i couldn't pay her 5k allowance a month. I was hustling on fiverr earning 50$ month and like that i lived for a long time. I stayed this way for a year just school and back i don't talk to anybody but i was improving. Fastforward to now i am out of school and i have a job. Same side hustle is paying 1000$ a month and a woman Hmmmm

franchasng:





In fact guys that don't even own cars get fresher girls in Nigeria than guys that drive cars who end up with packaged runz girls, that's if the guy without car dresses well and have his confidence in .

gbam! and also to add that guys with rides whose main intention is to use such a car to woe a girl end up as uber drivers to such girls that at the end of the day they end up wasting precious gas.u can imagine the girl calling u on phone to come pick her at the market or carry her to the hair saloon or come pick her at church .u don turn automatic driver to her..some wicked ones if their friends ask them whose that guy she will say na my personal driver be dat ..God forbid .

franchasng:
Your case na special center case

op should be more concerned about getting a good job for now not girlfriend o

lefulefu2:
gbam! and also to add that guys with rides whose main intention is to use such a car to woe a girl end up as uber drivers to such girls that at the end of the day they end up wasting precious gas.u can imagine the girl calling u on phone to come pick her at the market or carry her to the hair saloon or come pick her at church .u don turn automatic driver to her..some wicked ones if their friends ask them whose that guy she will say na my personal driver be dat ..God forbid .

all these ones Na lies oh lol, no girl does that in Nigeria, kai

franchasng:
all these ones Na lies oh lol, no girl does that in Nigeria, kai

smart ones dey do am .they automatically turn the guy into a driver .the dude will be using own car to be running errands for the girl and he wont mind though since im own na to impress the girl.at the end of the day fuel finish no money to buy fuel he will now be disurbing his paddy to borrow him money to buy fuel .suffer wey some car owners dey go through just to impress a babe .

lefulefu2:
smart ones dey do am .they automatically turn the guy into a driver .the dude will be using own car to be running errands for the girl and he wont mind though since im own na to impress the girl.at the end of the day fuel finish no money to buy fuel he will now be disurbing his paddy to borrow him money to buy fuel .suffer wey some car owners dey go through just to impress a babe .

lol, this can only happen to student boys who drive car in school

YorubaKing:
Go brothel (Empire, Jolly friends etc..) go find ashana now... N500 - N1K would do the magic... Thank me later.

Bad advice.

franchasng:
lol, this can only happen to student boys who drive car in school

not only students guys...even working class dudes who are anxious to impress a girl .u see ehn when ur personality is hooked to ur car the girl go just use u wash ground ..same with dudes who think the only way to say hello to a girl is when u have 30 million in ur akant

franchasng:
The op didn't mention buying a bicycle to even talk of car.

The guy clearly stated without pretence that his is broke, no job since he finished NYSC in 2017 which is 2 years ago, and I am sure he is surviving from family stipends and saved income from NYSC.

So you weren't even supposed to think towards any guy saying he cannot get a girlfriend because he doesn't own a car or a fat account.

The op clearly stated that due to his inability to secure a job since he passed out from NYSC, that he is broke and doesn't have a girlfriend because he doesn't even have the confidence, he made it clear.

The best advice to him now if you or we truly care is to tell him to focus squarely on sorting his financial situation out so he can be able to get his confidence back as a man when he can be able to foot his own bills and provide his own basic needs without relying on family and friends. Once this is sorted out, he will be confident enough to woo the kind of girls he fancy and not lower his desire out of his current financial status only to ditch the innocent girl when things turns out better for him just because the girl he got wasn't his taste but he had to lie to himself just so he can get laid temporarily, which is a disaster and reason many marriages are in a mess today.

Forget the guys that said or say a guy need big money or luxury cars to get girls in Nigeria, those are oxymoron or let me say exaggeration of course.


In fact guys that don't even own cars get fresher girls in Nigeria than guys that drive cars who end up with packaged runz girls, that's if the guy without car dresses well and have his confidence in place.


You know why They enter public transport buses which is the easiest and commonest place to get refined local Nigerian girls that are not out to hook up with rich dudes but just going about her normal business.

I speak because I once experienced this, met a wonderful girl one day I boarded a public bus to Apapa Tincan because the road was totally blocked that year, low and behold, I met this angel girl sitting beside me, in fact they were too many cute girls in the bus that got me confused and if I wasn't seriously hooked, I would have ended up dating that girl, though she still communicates with me once in a while not knowing I am hooked cos I don't want to tell her and I don't show her seriousness.


So in conclusion, the op need financial liberation first before ladies or sex.

If he is in so much pressure that he can no longer bear, let him masturbate (many great men do it, that's what most scientists and busy men do), it will save him so much stress and worries about girlfriend and its wahala.

You just got me cracked up

I'm trying to imagine an Albert Einstein or a Leonardo da Vinci masturbating.

You speak the language for today brother man!

A compromise I'm reminded of everyday...

@op you are just a lame ass guy

When women plenty everywhere to bang and forget Dem you are here crying for a girlfriend I pity you na naija gals you wan keep na die oo don't ever trust any of Dem unless na cry you go de

The woman that is gonna be ur future wife may not yet be born you are here worrying about these used worn out olosho attitude naija gals haaaa and again u no get bar ..join oga go get small bar and come n book gals n bang u may even bang someone galfriend self na so we de do am for naija

Life is in phases. It'll soon be over

SirLiquidGold:
I will go straight to the point. I'm 29years old and I have no girlfriend to call mine. Although when I was in school and during my NYSC some girls do give me attention but the moment we all did POP it was like the world changed for us all. I realized maybe I was too busy getting worried about the future than I should have had more time for women.

All along, my intention was to graduate, have a good job, then go into a serious relationship and get married but reality can be often disappointing.
It's rather unfortunate that no job is forthcoming since I finished service in December, 2017.

I'm very sure you would not believe it if tell you that I'm a virgin because I've never tasted sex all my live. Though i intend getting married at 30 and I've no job yet, I really feel like having a girl in my life now. I feel really lonely waking up alone everyday and hugging my pillow. It's as if nature is craving for what I ought to have had by now.

I need somebody that I can share my thought with, somebody I would be there for and also would be there for me. Guys I know you are wiser than I am, please advise me!!! Just yesterday night I came across a post on front page about "if money was delaying one from getting married and I am really worried

Let’s not worry about why u don’t have a gal, let’s worry about why u don’t have a job 1st.

Ideally u shud find a gal or love even without money or a job bt in Nigeria of today my bro. It wud be pretty hard unless offcourse u meet her in the church like an angel sent ur way. Lol