₦airaland Forum

Raalsalghul:
Yes, of course you know this already.

No I dont

From d look of things, ur GF seems like somebody who could easily fall 4 any temptation if care is not taken.its up to u to play ur cards right.if u still want her, then u hav 2 use every means possible 2 save ur relationship.

JustMe407:
Lol. Thank you. I will do as you said.

I really feel for you bro. After all you have expended on her.

Your ideal woman is supposed to complement you. Help each other grow and not just be a liability.

Trust me a man cannot stand all the time. There are periods you may be down and would need the support and encouragement of your woman and not drama and further punishment.

You are in that sensitive period where you feel a bit of pressure concerning modelling your future and you cannot even get support and proper 'vibes' from your girl. She cannot understand your needs at the moment because she is far too selfish in her attention craving personality. Yet the world does not revolve around her, and you cannot be there all the time to meet her needs.


Bro man up and make a wise decision. Either you keep on with the relationship due to some things you like about her - but know that you would be hurt and injured many times in the relationship because you cannot serve her needs all the time and her reactions at such times will wound your emotions and mental well being (Except she changes)


Or you take time out to end it and seek someone else who truly complements you and will help you at moments when you are down.



Still I think you should TALK to her. Talk it out with her. Let her know how her actions hurt you and may not be the best for your relationship. Also ask her to bare her mind and see if you can help her change and be better.

Dear Op,

Please spend all your life savings plus business capital on your girlfriend and when all funds are exhausted, you can then go on a borrowing binge to satisfy her.

By the time you are down and out, two things are bound to happen; she moves on to the next cash cow and you will be here alone trying to fathom what hit you.

Use your head my friend.

Why do i feel like i know this person?

Get you chair of her pussy and dump her

I don't know why we have abundance of simps, cucks and weaklings in recent times. What could be responsible, an absentee father or a non-charlatan father? I can't imagine having my son asking which is more important, building your life or taking care of some LovePeddler that doesn't give a damn about u?
#redpill#mgtow

Riele:
Then go sort it out .

Shey u know say na ur papa u dey talk to ba

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

Dump the babe immediately

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

My personal opinion is RUNNN! You're dealing with a loose cannon man. Especially if this is a cycle that keeps repeating itself!
I doubt she knows what she wants. Moreover, you've got better things to worry about in your life such as your hustle!

Ever since my ex told me she'd be okay with me if I were to go into "yahoo yahoo" so long as it doesn't involve blood......I lost all the love and care I had for her. Some girls are just there to keep us company at night and care for our sexual urge only....take those things away and you'll see you are dating a living mannequin.
She was just a trophy girlfriend my that made my friends envy me but deep down I wasn't happy. Someone that cannot support my business idea. All she wants is attention, money and sex. Though she isn't materialistic but she's just shallow. Ever since I dropped her and anything that has to do with relationship and focused on building myself and career...I have not regretted making such move

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

She started flirting with someone just because you were too tired to talk? That's a bad sign. A sign of someone who will cheat on you and even blame it on you

If you can kill the emotional part of you, you can handle any female perfectly well without experiencing any form of drama.

IAmStrange:
Hmmm!

I've always been an advocate of this method...
...

.......

As for the second issue... What your girlfriend did is a sign of what may happen or might have happened if the matter becomes more complicated than that.

Someone who easily gives in to seeking attention elsewhere when the two of you are not talking? That's dangerous.

I'm not saying that it will happen for sure but it's dangerous.

Have you not heard stories of women who had misunderstanding with their spouses and then they sought solace in another man until that other man capitalised on her emotional state and slept with her?

There were even cases where it did not happen once. The first time it happened, the woman began to enjoy the "company" of that other man and they ended up having sex several or many more times.

And in a marriage, misunderstandings will most likely happen every now and then. It's not something that can easily be avoided. So if it happens at a time when there's another man in the picture, only God knows where it'll eventually end.

It doesn't certainly define her but your girlfriend seems to have such weakness.

.... Will it be hasty generalization if I said all women had this attention issue? Cos now a days, just a little issue and there's already another guy person she's seeking "comfort and attention" from..

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone. that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

hmmmm, pls introduce me to your business. that's more important. My contact is on my signature

NarnieSnyper:
Ever since my ex told me she'd be okay with me if I were to go into "yahoo yahoo" so long as it doesn't involve blood......I lost all the love and care I had for her. Some girls are just there to keep us company at night and care for our sexual urge only....take those things away and you'll see you are dating a living mannequin.
She was just a trophy girlfriend my that made my friends envy me but deep down I wasn't happy. Someone that cannot support my business idea. All she wants is attention, money and sex. Though she isn't materialistic but she's just shallow. Ever since I dropped her and anything that has to do with relationship and focused on building myself and career...I have not regretted making such move

Pls bros, I need a biz to join and build my self too. I'm desperate

aytuns:
I have same issue with my girlfriend.... Will it be hasty generalization if I said all women had this attention issue? Cos now a days, just a little issue and there's already another guy person she's seeking "comfort and attention" from..

I don't know why. Maybe, it's because of the too much love movies and stories they watch and read...

Maybe they've been influenced to think relationships are only all about spending time and experiencing romance and "loving" with your spouse.

This our generation ehn...

HRHQueenPhil:
and it will do you a lot of good to comment and stop quoting me! u are very entitled to ur own opinion..he is old enof to choose which advise he tinks its best..pls respect urself and stay away from me

Lady, without due respect, I'll quote whomever and whenever I want if their comment(s) contradicts logical reasoning.

You think the dude doesn't know what to do before coming here to seek advice? He already know what to do but his balls... his balls... shitty. Likewise, you don't do any good to his conditions with your arbitrary advice. I'll avoid giving these kind of advice if I were to be the custodian of your device.

The op is 10 months,he is lucky!!! Relationship these days can be a headache especially if it is from a demanding lady.....

Abeg build your business so that you would be like the guy that is using the small money he is getting from his uber work on his girlfriend while she is thinking of dating doctors,engineers etc(source:Why are guys scared of dating students)

Ariza:
With the recent outrageous increase in the numbers of "Help/Rant" threads opened by guys on this section, I am moved to give my Nigerian sisters a standing ovation, a thunderous applaud and a heartfelt doff. They do wonders .


However, I wonder on what type of Men society breed these days.Cry babies? Hypocrites? or confused lots? I wonder!

Say what you will about the OP being weak and whiny. But it also takes a man with a strong character to put aside his ego and seek advice. Although society suggests that we bottle up our emotions and "act like men". We all know that such attitude could even be fatal under certain circumstances.

I find it a bit of a bad development, that less and less of our females are sharing their burdens, considering how much more they're in need of emotional support. It could be for a host of reasons. I do know for a fact that our girls could be quite proud, and egoistic enough not to admit their mistakes nor take responsibility for their actions. Somehow it's always the man's fault. While many fear being stigmatized, of which there's some reasonable proof. Nonetheless, it's not encouraging

I cringe at the ignorance of people who completely deride others for bringing their problems "online", as if the online community were only filled with hapless morons. But amongst the fodder lie absolute gems from brilliant minds,in spite of the undeniable fall in standard of this forum.

If he ends up making the right decision at the expense of satiating his ego, then it's still a win. So keep quiet and let men speak.

youngchopper:
Listen youngman! You don't need a damn drama in your life! Let me tell u lil story of mine!
Yesterday been 20th of December 2019 my gal friend who have been dating for just 2 months asked me on chat for money for Christmas hair 20k! I can afford it but what made me mad was I told her if she knew that 20k is somebody's salary and the fool replied " na poor person salary be that" since 24 hrs she has been calling have decided to snub her for a very long period of time! Just a galfriend what if I have her type like 5? Do u know the amount of prayer my sweet monther will pray for my head if I wire her 20k? Use your head youngman, your happiness is not tied around her!

That's a terrible personality you got there. Lock her out of your life forever! Damn!

hmmm

JustMe407:
Dear nairalanders, I need you honest advice on what to do. I am still a young man and any mistake now will have a grave effect on my future. So please, help a brother.

Be objective and consise please. It is a long narrative.

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for up to 10 months now. She has all the qualities of wife, friend and a partner. I mean, she prays for me, supports me and do many things that places her above average.

I've two issues that are bugging me;

First is, I just graduated from the University and started to follow the road map I designed for my life. I am hardworking, so I started doing business immediately after my defense. Interstate exports of perishables. While I was in school, I made a lot of money doing designs for students; I am a UI/UX designer. The problem here is that I can't account for all those monies I made. A lot of expenses especially for my girlfriend. Even till now, I am supposed to send her some money but will I continue like this? I need stability in my business and need to save more and need capital for the last mile logistics company I want to set up next year.

Second issue is; I recently returned from an event I attended in Lagos some days ago, I came back very late and was grossly tired. While we were chatting, she asked me some questions which I told her I was very tired and eventually, I slept off. My phone beside me till the next morning. Fast forward to yesterday, I told her of my intentions to concentrate more in building for the future - it doesn't mean our relationship would be off. She started asking questions like "do you need some space?" "Am I bugging you?" She also said I don't "speak her language enough" language here is bonding, intimacy and closure. I was surprised at her response.

I noticed she'd be online for a long time and won't reply me on time, so I asked her who she was chatting with and she replied someone. I ignored her. This morning she called, while we got talking I asked her about the person she was chatting with. She told me the guys name. And asked if I will forgive her of anything, I said yes. She now said, she was introduced to the guy and they got flirting from the day I came back from my journey and told her I was tired and needed to rest. Her excuse was that, I pushed her to and she just wanted someone to speak/talk to.

Now, my question is, Should I move on with my business and focus, or, should I continue with the relationship? I don't want to be with someone that gives up on me easily.

P.S I love her so much. And she does too. We've through a lot together.

Please moderators, help move this to front page for more contributions.

she is online and not replying you..lol..My type will call her after 5min and do talking instead...then ask her to go offline

if she refuses Na pack and go..The kind pack and go that they dnt talk Na say u go dey see am...no be person go tell u to go Ur way

ua too soft,.and she will cheat on you with even you friends and family when time comes..no long explanation

JustMe407:
We both just graduated lol. She finished top of her class with distinctions. We always talk about marriage though. 2023 is the goal.

I'm sorry but I doubt this your story of her finishing top of her Class with distinctions.

The defining quality of scholars is Focus.
The ability to focus on one thing and see it through to the end.
Focus is possible only through discipline.

From what you have described about her, she does not have the ability to focus.

There was a slight miscommunication and misunderstanding in your relationship and she is already finding solace in another man.

Nope. Doesn't align.

You also said that this is a girl that loves attention way too much.

That factor alone makes it impossible for her to graduate top of her class when she is following boys except she is a Genius.

Anyway. Assuming it is not fried dodo that you are feeding us here.

These two factors that I mentioned about in Bolded is all the red flag you need in this world.

If you proceed with this girl you will regret it.

This is a guarantee. The biggest guarantee that I a stranger that you do not know can give you.

youngchopper:
Have given her more than that in terms of gift and birth day celebration but that reply got me thinking! Is this the type of low life woman have been going out with

You are buying her love which will evaporize once there's no money to give.

Besides does she work? Relationship is not a job description that is entitled to salaries.

Na una dey cause am. Next thing you say girls are whores.

Na that love go kill you if you no becareful.
Amid all things,you no fit account for your hustle with the girl and you still no know say na time to ja paaa.
Ode o shi

SirMichael1:
Lady, without due respect, I'll quote whomever and whenever I want if their comment(s) contradicts logical reasoning.

You think the dude doesn't know what to do before coming here to seek advice? He already know what to do but his balls... his balls... shitty. Likewise, you don't do any good to his conditions with your arbitrary advice. I'll avoid giving these kind of advice if I were to be the custodian of your device.

Mr man, learn to mind ur business.. It will help u so much in d new year.. #Disgusting

[s]

JastSiryin:
Say what you will about the OP being weak and whiny. But it also takes a man with a strong character to put aside his ego and seek advice. Although society suggests that we bottle up our emotions and "act like men". We all know that such attitude could even be fatal under certain circumstances.

I find it a bit of a bad development, that less and less of our females are sharing their burdens, considering how much more they're in need of emotional support. It could be for a host of reasons. I do know for a fact that our girls could be quite proud, and egoistic enough not to admit their mistakes nor take responsibility for their actions. Somehow it's always the man's fault. While many fear being stigmatized, of which there's some reasonable proof. Nonetheless, it's not encouraging

I cringe at the ignorance of people who completely deride others for bringing their problems "online", as if the online community were only filled with hapless morons. But amongst the fodder lie absolute gems from brilliant minds,in spite of the undeniable fall in standard of this forum.

If he ends up making the right decision at the expense of satiating his ego, then it's still a win. So keep quiet and let men speak. [/s]

Never give a woman emotional advantage over you. The only reason you should spend on a woman beyond what you can throw away is when she's your wife or betrothed.

deltateam:
You are buying her love which will evaporize once there's no money to give.

Besides does she work? Relationship is not a job description that is entitled to salaries.

Na una dey cause am. Next thing you say girls are whores.

Point or correction nobody is a LovePeddler here!
Every gal loves money including you as a man
If u get babe and u dont treat her fine bet u she is cheating on u! "Definitely" maybe u reside in space? My anger with her is to refer 20k as a poor man salary pere!