alezzy13:


It's possible they have a history. And yes I've faced similar situation.

I dated a lady for about year, but due to some irreconcilable differences (as they call it) we broke up ( in good terms) and she later got married to another guy.. But she has the habit of asking me for money. Initially I used to give her, but later I stopped just as others have advised here.

The OP did not clarify if they have a history ,regardless i always feel people should live within their means.Giving is not a bad thing but for what purpose. On health grounds ,for food,shelter or very important needs its okay to assist .When the lady begins to ask for money for Brazilian hair or iPhone it becomes disgusting.

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?

Just tell her to send her husband account number and to discuss it with her husband. If the husband is a close friend as you said,you can also find out if he knows about it

MhizJoyce:

You are wicked o. Is that how you go about blocking people?

Lol Thats the advice i would give my brother o, people like to use others and Im sure she would throw him under the bus later on. Then OPs name will be spoilt

What is she doing going behind the husbands back asking for money without any explanation? Thats quite disrespectful.

Unless its like those Nkem Owoh movies where the guy is so stingy and the woman has to go about begging everywhere but until then she should be blocked, haba! Nobody needs to be dragged into your mess

becareful

alimaa:

Thanks, this is what I will do.

Any chat or call between the two of you while you are at this once for all move ensure you sound formal and be smart about it.
If it's oral conversation make sure you record it.
May God grant you Wisdom and boldness to do the right thing.

Kenoxman:
I only assist ppl financially once. Ask me again and I tell u I don't hav. Adopt this approach and u see a big difference in ur dealings with ppl especially Nigerians. I hav com to realize dat Nigerians will continue to ask u for financial favour so long as u keep giving them. Learn how to say "NO" from today and see urself free from unnecessary troubles. I learnt it not too long ago and I bet u, it's one of the biggest lessons of my life.

Very true. It is important to give something the first time they ask, even if it is much smaller than what they asked for. But after that, stand your ground say you no get.

But @ topic, some men's judgment on choosing a wife stinks to high heavens. Goodness. I know this kind of shameless women with zero principles, who are also undoubtedly promiscuous. How man go open eye marry this type of woman put for house? See as person wife dey disgrace am outside.

hazel01:
Uncle,send evidences of the request to your friend, and then tell the woman you would not be sending her money again, that you are not her husband.
She is a greedy and shameless person, and would continue to demand for money if you don't do this. Do not be weak if she is not ashamed to ask, don't be ashamed to say no!! Don't bother yourself about the repercussions, they will sort themselves out and if they don't that's their wahala, as long as they don't disturb you with their family ish....

Chaiii!! You harsh oo.

midnighter:


Lol Thats the advice i would give my brother o, people like to use others and Im sure she would throw him under the bus later on. Then OPs name will be spoilt

What is she doing going behind the husbands back asking for money without any explanation? Thats quite disrespectful.

Unless its like those Nkem Owoh movies where the guy is so stingy and the woman has to go about begging everywhere but until then she should be blocked, haba! Nobody needs to be dragged into your mess

Lol..I thought women love caring men na

Don't do anything further with her without d knowledge of d husband. I have a friend that I am so close to d wife, I dropped her off last month in camp for her NYSC seevice with her husband. I had wanted to raised some money for her but wouldn't kno what d hubby will think because I kno my friend was broke after so much spending. While with d hubby in d evening she called and she had a limited money with her, I had to inform her hubby that I wanted to give her some money but I forgot. He said Bar that would have been thoughtful of me because he gave her a little amount of money. He had to call her and informed her. I didn't send d money to her (even when I have her account details)untill we visited her in camp, right there I made d transfer, immediately she got d alert, she announced it to us and thank us. Never do anything with ur friend's wife without his knowledge, because however ur good intentions, ur friend may read some meanings to it. Diplomatically inform ur friend about it. Maybe while u both r away and she called d hubby, after d call, ask ur friend if that's d wife and asked how she's fairing, then tell him u even send some money to her d previous day or just tell d hubby that d wife called u and she needed money that u hope all is ok. The response of d hubby will direct u on what to do, either to send same or not. That again will bolster ur relationship with ur friend and will strengthen confidence between u both. Such things strengthen and or destroy relationships. My friends wife ones requested for money from me, I called d hubby immediately, I told him his wife to b just called she needed money I hope all is well, he told me u kno women wahala, if I have I should send that he's broke, I had to send same and told my friend we should seat out in d evening. After d seat out, I equally dropped some bar with him. Do not do anything with someone's wife behind d hubby irrespective of ur relationship, it breeds bad blood.

MhizJoyce:

But a man should be caring na

To a LIMITATION dear, we are HUMAN !

this is not good at all, the only way you can clear yourself is to explain everything to your friend, bring out your manhood and let him crosscheck to confirm you haven't slept with his wife. thanks

but not in public o!

Bro....I suggest you find out from the husband if he's going through any financial difficulties. Maybe he is.... and the wife suggested he ask you for assistance but pride would not let him... so she does. If you ask... then he is more likely to disclose.
Other side of the coin.... maybe the wife wants to live above their means or is involved in something else behind her husband's back. Is somebody hlackmailing her? Maybe? If she is asking you for money for her personal use... then no doubt she has already decided to sleep with you if you so desire. Is it only you she is asking? Is she cheating on her husband? Can't say what you don't know. If he is going thru a rough time... direct the money to him. If he is not... you should let him know his wife asked for financial help and leave it at that. Sooner or later he will find out.... do you really think you can then explain?

[quote author=alimaa post=85270674]Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her what husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?
Op my question to you is how will you feel if you found out your friend is sending money to your wife.

Send us her picture, and I shall advice you accordingly.

Well said, but before you take any preventive measures, call her and ask her if her husband knows about all these her request.
if yes, tell her you will like to call him and have a word with him. from there you will talk to the husband you don't like his attitude of sending her her to make financial request from you, rather he should be the one calling for the request.
But, if she says no, then tell her you won't continue this kind of giving as it will someday back fire. so tell her u ve stopped giving her since the husband does not know about it.

that's my opinion as all you are trying to do is to save yourself from any unknown though you have a good heart of giving.

MhizJoyce:


Lol..I thought women love caring men na

Exactly! Let her face her husband and squeeze the "caring" out of him instead of implicating an innocent soul

and u never chop clean mouth/? please pass her number to me let me help her

Tell her to stop requesting for the dough.

Tell her to tell her husband to be making the request directly to you.

That way, everybody is fine.

mamajj17:


To a LIMITATION dear, we are HUMAN !

Lol..I'm surprised women are saying this. Lol So women know that it is not so cool to ask for money? Lol

bluefilm:
Tell her to stop requesting for the dough.

Tell her to tell her husband to be making the request directly to you.

That way, everybody is fine.

Lol..I'm surprised women are saying this. Lol So women know that it is not so cool to ask for money? Lol

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?

Are yuu a bank? Must you have money all the time ? Can’t you just curve her that you don’t have money atm(at the moment?) since you don’t want to hurt her feelings saying no.

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?

tell your friend. you should have even told him before sending the first one you did.

Let her husband beware of this before sending her money to avoid stories later.

Send the money thru her husband if u wanna help

alimaa:
Please I need a piece of advice on how to handle this situation.

I have a very close friend and his wife has asked for financial assistance severally and I obliged. The problem I have here is what will my friend think if he should be seeing a bank alert from me on his wife's phone?

The woman has been calling my line since the beginning of this month which I have continued to ignore. She would later send text asking for financial help and this kind of situation is very confusing because you might report to her husband and they will both turn the whole thing against you.

Please what should I do?

My brother, you are guilty of something here and if u are not careful, u may land into a trouble.
In Igbo language, they will use this figuratively and ask: Gini ka ana ebe eji bebiri aka. Literally meaning, what were you cutting to warrant cutting of ur fingers.

So, in this case, I ask you what you were cutting that caused the cutting of ur fingers? What kind of closeness did u get into with the woman that will warrant her constant request of financial assistance which u have bn obliging to?

I see the woman as a loose wife and probably, you may have allowed urslf to fall into her looseness. Now, you brain is gradually getting reset, the consequence and danger of what u are doing has started making sense to you and u are scared.

If you have actually done anything with the woman, guy wait and receive the reward as soon as ur friend (the husband) comes to know of this.
If you have not done...glory to God. Tell the woman next time she asks for that help that you will help her stylishly tell her husband to make sure he gives her enough money so as to avoid her falling into any temptation. She won't allow u to do that for her and she may stop asking from u.
Pray your "philanthropic" gesture won't land u into problem.

I don talk finish oo. Count your teeth with ur tongue.

Similar thing is happening to me . I have this married lady always begging me for almost everything. I have decided to stop assisting her .But I always avoid her to stop her from begging me.

Oblongata:
Send the money to her husband.

Abeg com collect fried meat from my plate

Honestly, there are many sides to this...

If you genuinely understand the financial situation of your friend and you have the means, support them via his wife is a noble thing as your friend may be shy to always run to you for assistance.

However tho, if the wife is making advances towards you, or you are beginning to think of her in another way, especially if they are yet to have a child, then I'd say you stop it abruptly and inform the husband.

MhizJoyce:

Lol..I'm surprised women are saying this. Lol So women know that it is not so cool to ask for money? Lol

My dear not all Women, some Women are born to RULE

mamajj17:


My dear not all Women, some Women are born to RULE

Lol...I'm learning a lot already.. Lol

obiekunie2:


bros if them leave u ba?

u go climb that woman!



if not for your long throat on the woman she wouldn't be asking you for money!



she was aking you for money bc she has seen u hav interest in her.


tell urself the truth.

You too funny. Lol