₦airaland Forum

gracefulygrace:
I got admission into FPNO in Jan 2016, had a love affair and got pregnant ( I was 18) dad threw me out and his mum took me in ...he was an only son and his dad is late so she was happy.. I continued my education from their house ..
after a while he became abusive physically and verbally , I was shocked coz I never noticed such things in him before then ..I complained to he's mum and she said it was normal for men to be that way and that she endured same thing from his dad ...
I wasn't having it and I told her I'll leave if he continues that way .
I had my daughter in 2017 and I passed through epsotomy while giving birth, the doctor advised I stay away from sex for at least 3 months till I'm healed completely... of which my ex was aware ...3 days later the stitches reopened and I had to go back for another ( it was really painful ) ...3 weeks after he started asking for sex, I told him I wasn't healed yet ..
a month later he asked for it again and I said same thing ..
he accused me of having an affair with someone else and threw my things out, I called my mum and the next day my brothers came and took me home...that was Dec 2017 .. ( I was done with OND )
since then I never heard anything from him, his mum tried calling for sometime and locked up too ..
my mum took card of my daughter throughout 2018 , I got a job Jan 2019 and took over from my mum ...
it hasnt been easy actually but we are fine

Eze2000:
You were so lucky and in many ways. For one thing, if that kid had been a boy you would have had all kinds of problems by now.

Anyway, you were used and there are many like you

IyaTola:
How was she used?

ayteaz:
When you think you have the worst life experience then you read other people's stories you have no choice but to be grateful for yours.
My own journey to single motherhood is in my diary here,not completing for the money, there are other more deserving mothers who have written their story, although it can come in handy for Xmas sha
A thumps up to every woman who had the courage to say their story, what I use in consoling myself when I am stucked, sad or in a bad mood is that I have been through worse situations and I didnt die so this will also no kill me and that last last I go dey okay.

ehiblessing:
Don't know how all this pm work, cant even access my mail

loshybab:
Your diary is the first I'm reading through on this forum and I must say,you must be a very sassy person,full of life.
I enjoyed reading through your diary with its originality and articulate way of writing. Anyways, how are you twins doing? My warm regards to them all.

PS:Oh lord,I've always loved twin or multiple birth,pls grant my wish and let them be birth Hale and healthy and lemme and their unknown mum live long enough to reap our fruits....ameen

ayteaz:
Hiiiiiiiiiii
Thanks for the feedback I really appreciate,
I actually had to go check the meaning of sassy I may or may not be, depending on who I am dealing with.
My twins are doing great, thanks

Amen to your prayers, I have loved twins too right from secondary school, and sometimes I wonder how boring it will be for my child if it was a single child I had.
Merry Christmas.

Eze2000:
Open a new email and remove your number from Nairaland. If the number is connected to your social media and bank you will get hacked.

ehiblessing:
Have opened a new email already and have attached to my profile

Alooone:
Mine is more or less of betrayal and man's imminent wickedness...
I got married to my husband in 2013 at the age of 22, then I was still in school... We ttcd for 2years before I gave birth to my daughter in 2015... In 2017 I got pregnant for my son and we packed into our new house (that's where all my problem started).... We had this neighbour that for no reason at all just hated me,...right from day one her complain about me has always been "u too dey pose".....its either you are posing with your husband or you are posing with your child or even your belle..... We nearly packed out because of them.... Shortly before I gave birth I had a dream in which I saw a cat enter into our bedroom and disappeared into my leg... The first attack happened 2weeks after I gave birth to my son then my mum came for omugwo... She was the one that took me to the hospital.... The doctor diagnosed "puperuim psychosis"...after then it has been one attack to the other... When it got to the extent that I have started talking to myself in public unknowingly... I had to run for my dear life... I packed a few of my belongings and RAN with my kids to my parent's house... Now you could ask where was my husband when all this was happening... My people instead of my husband to quench the fire he was busy adding petrol to it... He told whoever that cares to know how I was MAD... According to him he feels "deceived" and "cheated" as he feels my parents knew about my "sickness "before we got married but nobody told him about it. .. It turned to full physical and verbal abuse as he felt saddled with such a liability like me...everyday he reminded me how I was a "regret " to him and told my children how he was going to marry a new mother that will take care of them and was looking for every way possible to frustrate me out of the marriage , because He practically saw it as an "opportunity "
I'm currently staying with my parents and my prayer every day is God should give me the heart to forgive my husband....but it's not easy... Someone we ttcd together and I went through a lot for... as for my neighbour am still praying for her, my God will fight for me... Sometimes I feel like going diabolical cos all these is unfair... I come from a Good,decent Catholic home and prayerful .....just payed for my daughter's school fees (she is an ace student) and saving for my Masters because when I remember all I have passed it further motivates me to aim higher..
Still love my husband though... Sometimes I'm filled with hate for him other times I love him... As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms are gone.
Single motherhood is not what I will wish on my enemy... If you like let it be 500percent the man's fault there will always be a stigma associated with a divorcee....



..

TGM2015:
Are you sure, it is not the same spiritual attack on you that is affecting your husband? Or better still making both of you hated each other?

To your sickness, I will advise you to check on the link below and take note of the "Who is most likely to get postpartum psychosis?" section of the link.
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/postpartum-psychosis

If it turns out that the sickness is natural and possibly with family history, your husband may be right by his outburst. My only issue with him is, it is either he is not mature enough to handle martial challenges or he didn't have enough knowledge and understanding about your condition. But his main issue is the feeling of collaborative betrayal by you and your entire family, though he may be wrong.

Now the solutions is for you to know the real cause of your sickness. It is historical (family related) or not. Can it be spiritual attack or some previous disorder. Either way, help your husband to recover from your his feelings of being betrayed (which may have been intentional or not). If you feel, in all honesty you had the hint that such can happen, then you need to ask for his forgiveness. If you think your family could have known, apologised on their behalf and give him time to heal.

If after all efforts and pleading that are done in all humbleness and sincerity fail, please move on. Additional information which is not to scare you is that you can hardly find a man/family that will accept you with that condition except they are kept in dark. Unfortunately, you have a higher risk of goings through the same condition on your next birth except it is an attack.

God be with you and guide you to overcome your life and marital challenges.

PerfectMatchNG:
Is she married?

TGM2015:
Are you sure, it is not the same spiritual attack on you that is affecting your husband? Or better still making both of you hated each other?

To your sickness, I will advise you to check on the link below and take note of the "Who is most likely to get postpartum psychosis?" section of the link.
https://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mental-health/problems-disorders/postpartum-psychosis

If it turns out that the sickness is natural and possibly with family history, your husband may be right by his outburst. My only issue with him is, it is either he is not mature enough to handle martial challenges or he didn't have enough knowledge and understanding about your condition. But his main issue is the feeling of collaborative betrayal by you and your entire family, though he may be wrong.

Now the solutions is for you to know the real cause of your sickness. Is it historical (family related) or not. Can it be spiritual attack or some previous disorder. Either way, help your husband to recover from his feelings of being betrayed (which may have been intentional or not). If you feel, in all honesty, you had the hint that such can happen, then you need to ask for his forgiveness. If you think your family could have known, apologised on their behalf and give him time to heal.

If after all efforts and pleading that are done in all humbleness and sincerity fail, please move on. Additional information which is not to scare you is that you can hardly find a man/family that will accept you with that condition except they are keep in dark. Unfortunately, you have a higher risk of goings through the same condition on your next birth except it is an attack.

God be with you and guide you to overcome your life and marital challenges.

Alooone:
None of my siblings has this disorder, and I had my first child Hale and hearty without any problem....my only consolation is that ALL the symptoms have stopped....

SteveOfu:
My dad refused me getting married to the love of my life then saying he is too old( 34yrs) and much exposed for my age .He was a personal assistant to Abia state Governor then. I was only 16 and felt I have arrived been fiancé to such person.He cherished me. Truthfully,he never touched me.

Few weeks after,,he traveled for business promising to convince my dad on his return. My father's refusal made me stubborn, I didn't want be around my home cos their over Christian life was making them see everything in another view,i cannot confide in my late mum without getting this look of you must be like a rev in this home. so i ran to my girlfriend's house. She was about 4yrs older than I was then but my body structure made us look like age mates. She convinced me to follow her to PH for her birthday party. Didn't know I was been arranged for her boyfriend's brother.
I was drunk ,first time anyways and he took advantage of me. By morning he was apologizing and professing love and wanting to date me... begged me to take him to my home I refused. I was confused,the love of my life is coming home the next week.how will I face him. I went home,my parents were angry with me but still didn't care to know how I feel, what I wanted but happy I came home alive.

Two weeks later I noticed I was pregnant,i opened up to my man and he said"mummy,do not ever ever tell anyone what happened,this child is mine and it's going to be reason your dad will let me marry you." We hide the pregnancy till it was 6 months,then he came again but my dad stubbornly turned him down again claiming my people don't give out a pregnant woman in marriage till I deliver.

After the delivery of my son whose birthday is today too ,my dad said he is free to marry me but without the boy. He made some underground plan to send us to his mum abroad if after talking to my dad with some relations and it didn't work out. He traveled to his village(Item) to get an uncle to help talk to my dad only for him to come back poisoned,he died two days after 6 months after,i got admission for a preliminary course in fedpoly campus. My parents took my child and I went back to school.avoided men like plague,finished my study then proceeded for my OND. After my OND finals, I went home for my aunty's burial,there I met my daughter's father. He tried everything for us to date and I refused then went ahead to tell him my story. He felt pity on me (so I thought Sha). He started visiting me in school more often, giving me listening ears and all that I lack from home.
I decided to give him a chance.

One month into the relationship, I took in, told him and he asked me to get an abortion because he is from my late aunty's compound,I ran to my cousin who is also his cousin and he called for a meeting. This guy who has been pestering me, traveling all the way from Abuja to Oko to see had the guts to tell everyone present that i am a good girl but he has a fiancé he wants to marry.
When asked the way forward, he said he will do what my people call "agbachaa afo ime"(no English na for it but a kinda way of he has nothing to do with the child and the amount for that was 20k then). I didn't know if I should start crying. I cursed him in tears.
My mum said her pain was she nursed this boy in question while babysitting her elder sister's children in that compound, his own mother pleaded with him to take me as his wife but he was adamant. My dad rejected the money,we left. He warned him never to smell our compound.

I had my daughter 29th January 2004 ,her dad had accident that day, shop burnt, container lost in the sea, the girl left him one month later for his friend then he ran back to me. Begged for marriage but no, not for me, all I did was lift the curse, out of joy he said he will never get married till I do and he kept the promise. My mum started pestering me to accept a suitor, to please her I did in 2013 and by 2016 the marriage ended.
So now,i am happily single.I don't ever want to get married.

This is how I became a single mum of 2 champions,though I will never let anyone I know go through it..

okikiosibodu:
You are a fighter. Pls don't give up
Just hang on a lil longer. There is always light at the end of the tunnel

pocohantas:
I don't know why some NL guys like acting stupid. You saw a pick-me post and you ran to send PM. Typical fish brained Naija guy. Be very pro-men and he will think he has found a wife.

Isn't it Iyatolà you sent that PM?

Same person that runs Steveôfu, Lilyval, Hamachî and a host of monikers. A guy hiding behind female monikers to pîmp. Someone that has been busted in sexuality section, before running to Romance section, the section for low IQed non-thinking pseudo-alfa males.

One day they will cut off you guys head for ritual. As una no fit keep prick one place. Let me see if it is feminist you will call to save you.

CHoccolaTE:
I just read through a thread and a number of female monikers were accused of being males and some of those same monikers are on this thread claiming to be single mothers because there is giveaway involved.

And to think I was sympathizing with some of them.
This is the thread,

https://www.nairaland.com/5610049/average-nigeria-girl-olosho-heres#85431594

In the thread these posters revealed that some people claiming single mother have been outed as men on other sections on nairaland.
Hamachi, Iyatola,steveofu are some of them.




I don't know how true this is but anyone who intends to send money to these single moms should get concrete proof like video call or something. Don't let yourself get scammed.

Pluto11:
Hi,

I checked your profile and did not find a WhatsApp number so went on to Facebook and joined your group instead. I believe i may still need your help directly though.

I'm, a guy, 39 and very bothered about my inability to find a woman of my choice for a wife. I'm not a retired playboy or anything, in fact I'm the religious kind and hope to be a pastor one day, it's just that financial issues and family problems delayed me in life. It has not been easy.

Another reason for this delay is my choice in women. I have a thing for curvy, big sized women and this kind get take young. Reading through this thread, though, it suddenly occurred to me that some of these nice ladies are actually used and dumped, ending up single mothers. Very insightful was the story of the first woman to comment on this thread, the one who at 16 was matured enough in 'body structure', as she put it, to attract a 34 year-old but sadly ended up a single mom of 2. (@SteveOfu I duff my hat in salute to your courage)

@PerfectMatchNG In all honesty, sir, I don't mind marrying a single mom.

Would be very grateful if you could chat with me on whatsapps.... 0703-1833-557

pocohantas:
I don't know why some NL guys like acting stupid. You saw a pick-me post and you ran to send PM. Typical fish brained Naija guy. Be very pro-men and he will think he has found a wife.

Isn't it Iyatolà you sent that PM?

Same person that runs Steveôfu, Lilyval, Hamachî and a host of monikers. A guy hiding behind female monikers to pîmp. Someone that has been busted in sexuality section, before running to Romance section, the section for low IQed non-thinking pseudo-alfa males.

One day they will cut off you guys head for ritual. As una no fit keep prick one place. Let me see if it is feminist you will call to save you.

Alooone:
Mine is more or less of betrayal and man's imminent wickedness...
I got married to my husband in 2013 at the age of 22, then I was still in school... We ttcd for 2years before I gave birth to my daughter in 2015... In 2017 I got pregnant for my son and we packed into our new house (that's where all my problem started).... We had this neighbour that for no reason at all just hated me,...right from day one her complain about me has always been "u too dey pose".....its either you are posing with your husband or you are posing with your child or even your belle..... We nearly packed out because of them.... Shortly before I gave birth I had a dream in which I saw a cat enter into our bedroom and disappeared into my leg... The first attack happened 2weeks after I gave birth to my son then my mum came for omugwo... She was the one that took me to the hospital.... The doctor diagnosed "puperuim psychosis"...after then it has been one attack to the other... When it got to the extent that I have started talking to myself in public unknowingly... I had to run for my dear life... I packed a few of my belongings and RAN with my kids to my parent's house... Now you could ask where was my husband when all this was happening... My people instead of my husband to quench the fire he was busy adding petrol to it... He told whoever that cares to know how I was MAD... According to him he feels "deceived" and "cheated" as he feels my parents knew about my "sickness "before we got married but nobody told him about it. .. It turned to full physical and verbal abuse as he felt saddled with such a liability like me...everyday he reminded me how I was a "regret " to him and told my children how he was going to marry a new mother that will take care of them and was looking for every way possible to frustrate me out of the marriage , because He practically saw it as an "opportunity "
I'm currently staying with my parents and my prayer every day is God should give me the heart to forgive my husband....but it's not easy... Someone we ttcd together and I went through a lot for... as for my neighbour am still praying for her, my God will fight for me... Sometimes I feel like going diabolical cos all these is unfair... I come from a Good,decent Catholic home and prayerful .....just payed for my daughter's school fees (she is an ace student) and saving for my Masters because when I remember all I have passed it further motivates me to aim higher..
Still love my husband though... Sometimes I'm filled with hate for him other times I love him... As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms are gone.
Single motherhood is not what I will wish on my enemy... If you like let it be 500percent the man's fault there will always be a stigma associated with a divorcee...

baby124:
Wow... this guy should be used for ritual. Useless and cursed guy. His life will always be damaged and it shall never be well with him. Unbelievable the length theee scammers will go. They are obviously mentally deranged cause no normal person will go this length. I hope Thorpido saw your post. My goodness!

pocohantas:
@Choccolate, I am just seeing this thread for the first time. Those monikers are being run by a man. I only see it in Romance section, so I look the other way. Never knew he reaches here.

baby124:
Somewhere within me I knew he would not be a good partner, maybe a good father. As he never had a good father figure(be very careful of these types). Having both qualities in a man is very important, please ask questions, observe and get to know his family... it is for your own good!

Even your psychopathic female friends will tell you that you are too uptight and, should loosen up that it’s love. Even your sibling can give funny advice, but stand firm. A child deserves to be loved and brought into a world where there is love. Be watchful and careful, know what you want and who you imagine you can spend the rest of your life with in peace! Peace of mind trumps all. The one for you who you feel at peace with will find you!

CHoccolaTE:
I just read through a thread and a number of female monikers were accused of being males and some of those same monikers are on this thread claiming to be single mothers because there is giveaway involved.

And to think I was sympathizing with some of them.
This is the thread,

https://www.nairaland.com/5610049/average-nigeria-girl-olosho-heres#85431594

In the thread these posters revealed that some people claiming single mother have been outed as men on other sections on nairaland.
Hamachi, Iyatola,steveofu are some of them.




I don't know how true this is but anyone who intends to send money to these single moms should get concrete proof like video call or something. Don't let yourself get scammed.

CHoccolaTE:
Na wa o, just look at the level of madness being displayed by these Nairaland men

And the same person told three different stories with all three of his alternate monikers about how he is a single mother.

Can you post the link to where he was exposed? Thanks