strungup79:


I'm already out of the house and out of town. I'm not lazy. I've put hands in odd jobs, low paying jobs and different types of business. I just need a little favour. I need the touch of God right now.

It would come, sooner than you expect, stay strong, keep praying and work hard, stuffs like this go both ways, my ex back then we both had nothing only our dreams, we prayed together, hustled together and worked hard together, I gave up a lot and supported him more than I even supported myself and he hit it, came home one day and said he needed space, that he needed to mix up with the same crowd he now rolls in, no sugar coated words but he gave me hot hot, I was crushed, I was battling with my weight and felt inadequate, but I moved on today if you see me you would not recognize me at all, God has restored in a million folds all that i felt i had lost, he came back begging i forgave him but couldn't stoop so low again this time he was truly not my level anymore, I took that pain and it propelled me, thankfully he was just a boyfriend and not a hubby, as in this case she is your wife, zone in on her good qualities and forgive her, tell her how much her attitude hurts you,, hopefully she changes, may God bless us all.

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Sad you are experiencing this. It doesn't look like one of those sit down and talk it out situations. Indeed money and power often shows who people truly are.

Even after years of marriage, someone can suddenly start acting up and showing unusual behavior. I guess nothing is certain.

Pls sit and reflect and you'll come to a good way out of this

Pls I'm a mechanical engineering graduate. I'm currently working in an oil and gas sector. Here is my no 08114521124

Classcaptain1:
To slap that your bald agbako head just dey hungry me.

I am in my house eating chicken.
Come and beat me

Gbam

Chikicaka:


It would come, sooner than you expect, stay strong, keep praying and work hard, stuffs like this go both ways, my ex back then we both had nothing only our dreams, we prayed together, hustled together and worked hard together, I gave up a lot and supported him more than I even supported myself and he hit it, came home one day and said he needed space, that he needed to mix up with the same crowd he now rolls in, no sugar coated words but he gave me hot hot, I was crushed, I was battling with my weight and felt inadequate, but I moved on today if you see me you would not recognize me at all, God has restored in a million folds all that i felt i had lost, he came back begging i forgave him but couldn't stoop so low again this time he was truly not my level anymore, I took that pain and it propelled me, thankfully he was just a boyfriend and not a hubby, as in this case she is your wife, zone in on her good qualities and forgive her, tell her how much her attitude hurts you,, hopefully she changes, may God bless us all.

pocohantas:


He hasn't recovered, he should be useful for now. Not for his wife, but his kids. I don't care what he does with his wife when he recovers, she probably doesn't care too and if all OP said is the truth, she has waited so long for this moment. Some women just need men for the marriage and (temporary) comfort men can provide. This is a model that is okay for the Nigerian man too, even though they always cry when it backfires.

Nigerian men only win bread, they don't know how to win any other thing- even the hearts and sympathy of their women. Always thinking everything is manee, manee, manee.

Lol...

You & Nigerian Men.

But most Nigerian Women don’t appreciate gifts like flowers & chocolates.

They rather have Cash, Cold Stone, Pizza & Chicken.

So entirely unfair to place the blame squarely on Nigerian Men.

Meanwhile Happy New Year,

May this year bring you and your family good tidings.

jesmond3945:
this is the nature of women, if you like marry angel.

lol


D guy dey talk like native doctor weh won promote him juju

You failed to mention how these men enslave their wives and kids when he is the brradwinner. The only reason they respect him is because of his ability to provide. You also failed to tell us how some of these men become just a mere figurehead in the house.

Would you in all sincerity marry a partner that does absolutely nothing in the house? A woman that does not have a job would at the barest minimum ensure the house is running smoothly. What would most egotistical men in that position do? Nothing!!! Having a penis is not an excuse for irresponsibility. A man has to be responsible in the home. If he cannot provide, he can at least find other ways to be responsible.

Many good women with good husbands will gladly have their husbands back when the chips are down. It is a given!

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

[quote author=LordKO post=85390702]If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

Here i am, 08114521124. I'm interested]

funmisticqueen:
when did I beg on this forum for a man?

Stop deluding yourself

Stfu, you begged for men

internationalman:


you also need game otherwise another broke guy will teach your wife how the game is played

in this situation where he's losing control and she's getting tired of him, finding such text msg or chats may even give her reasons for a divorce.


She's already turning the children against him for f.u. c.k.'s sake. and u r here talking about "game".


making her see bogus charts to make her jealous. Yes, it's game. But only early in r/ship or marriage. Not something that will trip a woman after 13yrs of marriage. It'll only enrage her. "So he got talking with some other woman up to such a point?"


WHAT THEY F.U. CKING NEED IS COUNSELLING OR SEPERATION.

Zeewirld:
..That doesn't change anything.If she was doing it when the man was financially capable, I don't see what should stop her from doing it now, worst case scenario, she could employ a maid for that purpose.

It is not when your partner is down that you trash them,you are meant to cover their unclothedness at that point.

Money is an enabler. I don't know how the man treated his family, most especially the wife when he was the breadwinner because this might be part of the reasons why she is behaving that one.Women are generally very loyal.

Where do we get these kind of people? Which women are loyal?

I think you suck up to women so you may get laid or something. Women are not loyal, at alllll—especially Nigerian women. I fear them a lot.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

your reply shows how mean and egoistic you are. if you think marriage is about competition of the wealthier then you have lost a nut. in as much as money is a powerful tool in all marriages, it's should be used to foster love and not the other way round.

when a woman becomes head of household, the ugly part of her comes out,
thats how they do

funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

Your brain is in your big lips

Cheer up brother!Same thing happened to me.In my own case,she didn't only maltrmaltreat me but also pack out n since den,I ve put my hope in God.

zoghys:


your reply shows how mean and egoistic you are. if you think marriage is about competition of the wealthier then you have lost a nut. in as much as money is a powerful tool in all marriages, it's should be used to foster love and not the other way round.

Yeah, poverty has made money top priority for everyone in this shameless nation.

One ship
One captain

that's all ,

I am the head of my family/home
and no amount of billions
can change that.


Man,
know thy self.

Martinez39:
yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past.

Wonderful!

Just thank God that this is happening to you. I have experienced this before.Note that before a promotion comes, one needs to pass through exams.This is your exams period for your elevation.

Sit your wife down and have a heart talk with her. Let her know the implications of her attitude towards your health and how much you love her and the children.

If she fails to change, you may have no option than to leave the house for a while and you continue to hustle for better future. If you remain in the house this may affect your health and ability to think correctly.

She will repent and look out for you except she has bad advisers, a substitute man somewhere or another father for the children.

BiggyB242:


Reason why "wise" a man stick to the woman who was with him when he had nothing. Most women love you for your money but thank God not all, that's why I impress a woman with my personality rather than the comfort she thinks I can afford her.

Las las Na woman when go give us peace of mind naim we need, is neither beauty nor profession, but there are some ladies who come with the whole package though.

That whole package is rare. It's like 1 in 100.

Few minutes ago, I was saying to myself, some men will say their wife is different since they are well off.

But these men need to start asking questions like: if I am broke, will this woman still stand by me?

Realhommie:
Now it's pretty much obvious to me you've got issues.. You may wanna deny it outrightly or even feign ignorance but i pray you get healing, you need it..

Happy New Year, best wishes.

I know I have issues. I still do me in spite of them. I seek counselling once in a while

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Ewu

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

I pray you stay single


You're a poison to the society with this terrible thought you had.

zoghys:


your reply shows how mean and egoistic you are. if you think marriage is about competition of the wealthier then you have lost a nut. in as much as money is a powerful tool in all marriages, it's should be used to foster love and not the other way round.

i have replied this already.

I hate repeating myself.

DNSPro:


That whole package is rare. It's like 1 in 100.

Few minutes ago, I was saying to myself, some men will say their wife is different since they are well off.

But these men need to start asking questions like: if I am broke, will this woman still stand by me?

if a woman was barren, will a man stand by her. Humans always look out for thier best interests

Chikicaka:


It would come, sooner than you expect, stay strong, keep praying and work hard, stuffs like this go both ways, my ex back then we both had nothing only our dreams, we prayed together, hustled together and worked hard together, I gave up a lot and supported him more than I even supported myself and he hit it, came home one day and said he needed space, that he needed to mix up with the same crowd he now rolls in, no sugar coated words but he gave me hot hot, I was crushed, I was battling with my weight and felt inadequate, but I moved on today if you see me you would not recognize me at all, God has restored in a million folds all that i felt i had lost, he came back begging i forgave him but couldn't stoop so low again this time he was truly not my level anymore, I took that pain and it propelled me, thankfully he was just a boyfriend and not a hubby, as in this case she is your wife, zone in on her good qualities and forgive her, tell her how much her attitude hurts you,, hopefully she changes, may God bless us all.

I love you. I love so much. Lolz! No homo! Why? Cuz this is an almost identical experience, we share.

I'm certainly on my way to surpassing him in all he stands for.

True, lack of communication is their problem, simple

kanada:
Just thank God that this is happening to you. I have experienced this before.Note that before a promotion comes, one needs to pass through exams.This is your exams period for your elevation.

Sit your wife down and have a heart talk with her. Let her know the implications of her attitude towards your health and how much you love her and the children.

If she fails to change, you may have no option than to leave the house for a while and you continue to hustle for better future. If you remain in the house this may affect your health and ability to think correctly.

She will repent and look out for you except she has bad advisers, a substitute man somewhere or another father for the children.

funmisticqueen:
I appreciate this, 2019 taught me to value people a lot.

But then, a lot of your hardline posts, especially when it concerns men, tells me, there's need for some "healing" here and there?

There's nothing wrong with being a feminist. It depends on your definition of feminism. One of my colleagues like to announce that she's the most submissive feminist in the world. We all know her, she's hard as nails, very tough, very uncompromising but doesn't joke with her husband. In fact it's a common joke in our office, when she's being obstinate, that we'll call Mr A. to talk to her. She's a deaconness in church and I've heard her say many times, that many of those who propagate feminism, don't know what true feminism is all about. For instance, being a submissive wife is true feminism rather than looking for equality.

funmisticqueen:
It wasn't the women who changed, it was simply a role reversal. And men do not like the experience being in a woman's shoes. So they cry and wail that they are being emasculated because they can't take what they mete out to womem

Didnt you see where he said he didnt control her or bully her when he was rich, i think thats what is paining him
He prolly feels betrayed at this, this is prolly one of those lovey dovey, soft kind of man
I feel bad for him and at the same time there is some truth to what they are saying.
U need to become a realist and stop your victim mentality
There are many men where the man doesnt contribute as much as the wife and everything is in order, and nobody will know, because the man is in charge and the wife accepts it like that.

My advice is always simple as always no matter what some pple will say

Dont ever marry a woman you cant control
Be 100% sure you are the one dictating or setting the pace of the relationship and that she accepts it and is comfortable with it!
You should be the one to provide day to day need s and wants considering ur oncome and savings too
I suspect you were never really in control buh she tolerated you cos you had money to provide comforts
She was the one that decided the level of your family expenditure and comfort or standard of living before now which shouldnt be so.

Ladycewhy:
why cant he ? That is where i think the issue is coming from.You people talk about how westerners are different but fail to take a que from them. A white man will not have a problem supporting his wife with house chores especially now that he is out of job but you Nigerian men and your egotistic self will not. she will go to work while he stays home all day and still expects her to do the duties of a full time house wife when she returns while he lifts his leg up and watch the news .

have heard u but I want to ask u a question,if ur elder bro was to be in the OP shoe,what would ur take be..what would be ur reaction when u went to visit ur bro,and saw him washing is wife's clothes ,and doing other chores such as ,cooking and sweeping the compound, simply becos he recently lost his job,and his wife is providing for the mean time...I need a honest answer