funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Did u even read what he wrote?

LegendaryLover:


in this situation where he's losing control and she's getting tired of him, finding such text msg or chats may even give her reasons for a divorce.


She's already turning the children against him for f.u. c.k.'s sake. and u r here talking about "game".


making her see bogus charts to make her jealous. Yes, it's game. But only early in r/ship or marriage. Not something that will trip a woman after 13yrs of marriage. It'll only enrage her. "So he got talking with some other woman up to such a point?"


WHAT THEY F.U. CKING NEED IS COUNSELLING OR SEPERATION.

you are legendary

strungup79:


It would have been understandable to me if I was a wicked husband or used to bully her.

The first prayer every man should pray in life is God may I not get to the level in life where my wife is now the breadwinner of the house.
Because if you get there, but God forbid, you will discover that among 1000 women, less than one are truly loyal.

funmisticqueen:
I know I have issues. I still do me in spite of them. I seek counselling once in a while

Good.. Self realization is the first step to healing/redemption..

May whatever you believe in help you.

strungup79:


I'm already out of the house and out of town. I'm not lazy. I've put hands in odd jobs, low paying jobs and different types of business. I just need a little favour. I need the touh of God right now.

dnt mind him.God will.see you tru just be playful and be closer to God

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

These kind of comments make me fear this marriage thing more since there’s no money to run the package. This is another year & i am feeling fearful again.

When will money come ooo because I can’t be dealing with a Nigerian woman without money.

Maybe na life bachelor I go be ooo unless I can leave this country.

Everybody is just terrible & heartless. If someone as ugly as this Funministique can be this wicked & materialistic, how will beautiful Nigeria girls be?

strungup79:


You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

99% women will do same thing. Ignore her and focus on getting back on your feet. If you don't have money just forget a woman's respect, including many mothers

Kendumazy:
I guess you didn't pray about your relationship or you didn't get to do spiritual consultation about the kind of person your wife is. See, when it comes to two people coming together to get married. There are a lot of things involved. A wife star might superceed that of the husband and atimes it could be the other way round. These are parts of what parents sees that make them stand their ground that their son or daughter won't get married to a particular person. Not that the person is bad but it's just that, we all have the star we carry. You don't need to fight your wife. You just need some prayer or spiritual journey to see what could be the cause of your downfall or you can try and leave the home for like a month and watch any changes.

See them o
Another local computer guru has arrived

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

the Good thing about this issue is that you will definitely come back to shape and become auspicious even more than before, just keep pushing and keep praying

funmisticqueen:
you are legendary

lol you...all this your gra gra na social media, when realise hits you, you'll still find yourself under a man... go to linda ikejis page, shes not posting on how she wishes to be someones bride... someone that was all for women power and not minding men... you do pass linda ikeji then ?

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

mumu big toto

LINTUNE:
have heard u but I want to ask u a question,if ur elder bro was to be in the OP shoe,what would ur take be..what would be ur reaction when u went to visit ur bro,and saw him washing is wife's clothes ,and doing other chores such as ,cooking and sweeping the compound, simply becos he recently lost his job,and his wife is providing for the mean time...I need a honest answer

honestly its somehow sha make i nor lie. I guess there is this unwritten rule of it being a taboo for men to b domesticated .

Brightgem:
I love you. I love so much. Lolz! No homo! Why? Cuz this is an almost identical experience, we share.

I'm certainly on my way to surpassing him in all he stands for.

You go girl, one piece of advice, as much as you use whatever pain he may have caused to propel your hustle, never let "peppering" him be your major driving force, because revenge is for the Lord, karma would catch up with him herself and when you finally get to the point you dream of you may have no more ginger because getting back at him was the sole purpose for your intense hustle, for example in my case my driving force was my parents esp my sweet mama, I needed her to enjoy and my future kids I needed them to know mama is no push over but a boss chick...

My dear, it not suprising because most women are guilty of that. It takes a God fearing woman and the one who understands that marriage is all about love and sacrifices especially if you have been the one holding on all these while.

A man who has been up and suddenly found himself down, it just a matter of time before he eventually gets back on it feet, as long as he is determined to.

You will bounce back and when you do, just remember that the only family you have are your children and your children alone.

Until then, just be patient and continue to do your thing.

Peace.

mascot87:


I use you fear woman more o

Bros person go end up marrying this one. Jesus save men.

U c y women can't rule this country, just small family power she z already misbehaving. Odiegwu o. God help us all

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Divorce?

LegendaryLover:


in this situation where he's losing control and she's getting tired of him, finding such text msg or chats may even give her reasons for a divorce.


She's already turning the children against him for f.u. c.k.'s sake. and u r here talking about "game".


making her see bogus charts to make her jealous. Yes, it's game. But only early in r/ship or marriage. Not something that will trip a woman after 13yrs of marriage. It'll only enrage her. "So he got talking with some other woman up to such a point?"


WHAT THEY F.U. CKING NEED IS COUNSELLING OR SEPERATION.

After reading what u wrote, I just laugh, I keep saying it, men protect ur wealth, protect ur source of income, don't be deceived by the word love, it doesn't exist,

The day u run short of that cash in ur bank account, u are finish, money is the only language women understand, beat them, abuse them, in as much u pay the bills later, give them what they can't afford, they will worship u.

The day that money finish, u go fear that woman.... The next thing u will hear is seperation

I agree with all you say, but I am not a feminist

DuxofMen:


But then, a lot of your hardline posts, especially when it concerns men, tells me, there's need for some "healing" here and there?

There's nothing wrong with being a feminist. It depends on your definition of feminism. One of my colleagues like to announce that she's the most submissive feminist in the world. We all know her, she's hard as nails, very tough, very uncompromising but doesn't joke with her husband. In fact it's a common joke in our office, when she's being obstinate, that we'll call Mr A. to talk to her. She's a deaconness in church and I've heard her say many times, that many of those who propagate feminism, don't know what true feminism is all about. For instance, being a submissive wife is true feminism rather than looking for equality.

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

There will be a turn around after you have learnt all d lessons God is trying to reach you with this downturn. Your business will bounce back and you will emerge stronger and better. God is trying to open your eyes to certain thing and people. I have been there and God made everything perfect after d storm. But be resolute as to what you will not have a third party in form of in-laws do in your house, fight their intrusion to a standstill. Be rude to them if they don't want to respect your boundaries.

[color=#006600][/color]

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Women of this generation,I guess u didnt read through the lines properly.

Ladycewhy:
honestly its somehow sha make i nor lie. I guess there is this unwritten rule of it being a taboo for men to b domesticated .

but u were saying something else,that's one thing about we humans, we are just too selfish, u advising a man to do demeaning home chores cos he lost his job recently and his wife just started providing,now u are saying u wouldnt want that for ur bro,even if he is in the OP's shoe,how selfish of u.pukes!

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

I lot of my my instead of our that the first problem in your marriage. I love the fact you are even doing some odd jobs to assist in the home financially. However someone has take over your position. Why not join your wife in the business. Take this New Year as opportunity. Make her understand it's not a competition together you can do better. My husband is also a my my person. I so hate that attitude.

Having a rich or wealthy wife is not a ticket to having a blissful marriage. Except where love reigns supreme, some wealthy wives are pain in the neck of their husbands.

Acidosis:

This marriage thing can be confusing sometimes ehn. Can't your wife give (or loan) you like #2m to get your business moving again? I don't understand how and why couples allow money cause a division in the home. Even if she's too wicked or stingy to set you up, can't you get some loan from her and take charge of your home again? Or could it be that all you do with money fails? Or perhaps, she doesn't even have enough to lend with all the inflated ego?

If you have a rich or wealthy wife, you have no excuse to fail. As far as she's willing to give you an interest-free loan, she's done her best. You take the money, utilize it well and take charge! You can't continue to waste all she gives or sit down and do nothing, and expect her to respect you. She's human, not a stone!

Sincerely I'm just pained by this story. These days, it has become something almost impossible to find a partner that truly knows and understands what marriage and true love is all about, I really feel for this generation of ours .

strungup79:
I'm 42 years old and married with 3 children (2 boys and a girl). I got married to this beatiful lady 13 years ago and everything was bliss until three years ago when my business experienced a serious down turn.

My wife on the other hand witnessed an upturn in fortunes and practically became the bread winner in the home.

Her good financial fortune had me focussed on trying to get myself back on track. I tried getting a job, but it was not forth coming.

My business continued to dwindle and then I resorted to doing small odd jobs just so I could contribute to the family upkeep.

My wife's upturn in fortune however brought out the ugliness in her. She started trying to assume control of the home. She stopped consulting me on decisions concerning our home, rather consulting her parents. She practically turned my kids against me as she painted me as irresponsible.

We initially had assess to each other's account, but now she has accounts hidden from me. I just found out she bought land somewhere, though she doesn't know I have that knowledge.

She has become rude and disrespectful and her parents and siblings have taken over my home. I am so pained because all I ever did was show her love and respect.

She didn't like the fact i tried to have order in my home and that seems to be my sin. I have never hit her or been wicked to her.

Right now, I'm pained and confused. I don't know what to do. Someone please help.

Don't look for sympathisers from this platform, even if you get one, that's not what you need.

You've said it yourself, certain revelations won't happen till certain situations show up.

Unfortunately, she couldn't handle her new status. Meanwhile, it's for a temporary period. You'll soon go beyond this bend in the journey of your marriage.

It is also a period of self-examination, so, don't miss it. Critically look deep into yourself.

However, don't get pained about her behaviour, she's just reflecting her level of maturity, she needs to grow up!

On her siblings and parents, just take your cool. Keep watching all of them, without being bitter towards anyone, remember, everyone is being given opportunity to show who they are at this junction of your life.

Let your job search continue, or look towards alternative of starting a business, you never can tell, God may be setting you up for something bigger than a paid job.

Above all, call her for a heart2heart discussion without anyone's interference. Just the two of you. Explain your observation and let her show her innocence or arrogance about your observation. This will allow you to remind her when things turn around, for it will surely turn around.

Remain positive and loving. Ask of her opinions about the situation of things and what she thinks you need to do better or about upping your game.

Just remain yourself, hard, but possible.

I urged all the men, both married and single, to come to this thread as as a matter of urgency.

cc : ubunja, Martinez39, pansophist and others.

Something I Just want to reiterate is that" women have no Love to give".

The ordeal which this guy narrated here happened to my uncle. He was a big man, a director. About 4 years ago, 2015, he lost his stands and was unable to regain his footing. his wife took the reign and start directing the affairs of the house. Everybody thought this is a good woman. Months later, this woman bought her cold attitude and started dishing insults to the man all because he could not provide. just last year, the man died- depression.

Women are tool good only to be bleeped and discard. If you're a man forming love, you're to be blamed

There is always another side of the coin.. Shit has happened now is damage control.. Stop those odd/menial job give yourself some heads up and give your family a standard respect then pray to God for favour.. Women are never stable especially when taking care of their needs themselves

Continue the hustle and be faithful to your family.

Remember that no condition is permanent. This is a test of life.

Please do not be bitter in your heart so as not to fail the test and lose the final reward of your steadfastness.

Watch and pray and it shall be well with you.