My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise - Family (2)

My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by philip0906(m): 3:14pm On Jan 06, 2020

Amanee:
Wasted my three seconds thinking you'll finally say something sensible, alas...

His posts are actually sensible grin

His posts are laced with sarcasm to drive home his point and he makes very interesting points when you read beyond the surface. He is a very intelligent writer.

13 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by asahnwaKC: 3:16pm On Jan 06, 2020

iHart:
MIL- Mother in-law
DIL - Daughter in-law

Thnx ohhh....bn trying to figure out those abbreviation sad

.
.....made ne not to read the story finish....

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by snazzy5050(m): 3:16pm On Jan 06, 2020

iHart:
MIL- Mother in-law
DIL - Daughter in-law

Thanks on behalf of alot of persons that would have had headache trying to understand that part grin

2 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by TheRedpillguy: 3:16pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

Doesn't it bother you that you are leaving your kid with a stranger? The time kids are little are times you teach them about your core values but you let sombody else put ideas in your kids head. U know its by desigh for the mother to rase the kid. Oh sorry I forgot. The work is too much.

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by awoo47: 3:17pm On Jan 06, 2020

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by asahnwaKC: 3:17pm On Jan 06, 2020

iHart:
MIL- Mother in-law
DIL - Daughter in-law

Thnx ohhh....bn trying to figure out those abbreviation sad

.
.....made ne not to read the story finish.... undecided

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by matinos28(m): 3:18pm On Jan 06, 2020

No be only MIL, na MILF

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Bellgal: 3:18pm On Jan 06, 2020

NwaAmaikpe:

I was almost starting to think you were selfish about your decision to keep her but reading further it became clearer that you have a genuine bond with her, are empathetic to her plight and wants just the best for her.

But this is a very tricky issue and you would never know the lenght it will go when the tales are spurn in the neighborhood about how you housed a cast-away to spite her husband's people.
I will feel bad if I were her husband and even worse if I am her mother-in-law.

Life is easy.
This lady is extremely good to your kids and is a perfect fit in your house.
Your kids see her as family too.
Your husband is willing to house her despite knowing her husband is just a breadth away.

Most importantly, you see the good in her that not even her husband who married her and her mother-in-law who lives with her sees.
You apparently have concluded that this lady is indispensable to the life of your kids and the bliss of your family.

Hanty, there is only one way to keep her without hurting both yourself and her mother-in-law.
Just tell your husband to marry her, that way she will become you people's property and you will not feel so bad when your husband starts screwing her.

Because definitely, water must find it's level this one that Broda wants her sleeping under his roof.

Over to Lalast.iclala and the other elders.

..... .well said!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by nams77: 3:20pm On Jan 06, 2020

baby124:
Who got the job for her? Did she come to you for the job herself or did MIL approach you for the job? You should not have gone begging psychos, it’s a waste of time, just wait for them to do their worst and stay out of it. Shebi their worst is that they don’t want her as wife anymore? Ok! But she is your employee. Her private business should not be your concern.

It’s strictly business and your kids come first. Ask her if she wants to go back to the village... if she doesn’t, try to rent her a room in another neighborhood where she will be coming to work from. If they ask you questions, tell them she came back by herself and she begged for her job back. Also, as it’s difficult to get help, your kids have refused to cooperate with anyone but her. So you had to rehire her. Besides you don’t want to get involved in her private affair. Shikena.

Best advice. Op take this

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by TinyHacker: 3:20pm On Jan 06, 2020

Humphrizy:
In order not to bring in much worries..... Try and get yourself another nanny... From your story, One can deduce that you have good sense of humor and am not in support of you bringing her in permanently/temporarily to stay with you.... I no go give you that kinda advise.

nairaland peeps sef, they will just read something they don't know the meaning of and start using it, like how i saw one person shouting IQ everywhere before for the wrong reasons

3 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by udumosam23(m): 3:21pm On Jan 06, 2020

Pls let her leave. Try get someone else amongst your extended family members or relations. The world is not safe don't complicate issues for yourself.

Your neighbors will accuse you of conspiracy and blame you for ruining their home later on.

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by midehi2(f): 3:22pm On Jan 06, 2020

NwaAmaikpe:

I was almost starting to think you were selfish about your decision to keep her but reading further it became clearer that you have a genuine bond with her, are empathetic to her plight and wants just the best for her.

But this is a very tricky issue and you would never know the lenght it will go when the tales are spurn in the neighborhood about how you housed a cast-away to spite her husband's people.
I will feel bad if I were her husband and even worse if I am her mother-in-law.

Life is easy.
This lady is extremely good to your kids and is a perfect fit in your house.
Your kids see her as family too.
Your husband is willing to house her despite knowing her husband is just a breadth away.

Most importantly, you see the good in her that not even her husband who married her and her mother-in-law who lives with her sees.
You apparently have concluded that this lady is indispensable to the life of your kids and the bliss of your family.

Hanty, there is only one way to keep her without hurting both yourself and her mother-in-law.
Just tell your husband to marry her, that way she will become you people's property and you will not feel so bad when your husband starts screwing her.

Because definitely, water must find it's level this one that Broda wants her sleeping under his roof.

Over to Lalast.iclala and the other elders.

You were making sense until.... sense lost

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by TobyeCole: 3:24pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

I'm interested in talking with you about this but if only I have your singular attention.

Can we talk more about this one on one?

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by rapid101(m): 3:27pm On Jan 06, 2020

Amanee:
Wasted my three seconds thinking you'll finally say something sensible, alas...

as in eh
his always senseless with his quote

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Jobminister: 3:30pm On Jan 06, 2020

Something I don't understand here;

You are a land lady in the estate.
Your nanny MIL is a land lady in the same estate.

Now how come she is working for you as a nanny?
Did they bring her to serve as a nanny or as a house wife to the MIL son?

Did she start doing nanny for you after the quarrel with her MIL.

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by bluefilm: 3:32pm On Jan 06, 2020*

Are you saying that should the nanny drop dead today, that you cannot find any other nanny in the whole world?

Nonsense. undecided

The damn nanny may be good to you but so horrible in her own home or don't you know some people are like that?

2 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Areaboy2(m): 3:33pm On Jan 06, 2020

Expand before using abbreviations (EBUA)

Think EBUA every time you write and need to abbreviate so as not to leave your readers frustrated. (see what i did there? grin

)

I had to stop. scroll down and found the meaning of MIL and DIL before coming back to your story.

3 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by EasternPrince: 3:37pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

Lemme break it down. Your househelp is being used as a modern slave by her in laws. Basically she has no right to her life.

You need a human rights activist if you really wanna help.

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by blank(f): 3:43pm On Jan 06, 2020*

If i were in your shoes, i would let her go. Tell that she has been good but you don't want her personal life interfering with here work. Whenever she has it sorted out then she can come back. Then look for another person. It might look like she is irreplaceable but you will find another good fit and will wonder why you were so worried. It might take a lot of trial and error but if you are diligent and intuitive, you will get another. Don't look for someone that is exactly like her, you will not find. Look for someone that is honest, friendly, hardworking and loves kids.

I was once in your shoes. I took a week off work because i was almost going out of my mind with worry. However, after several tries, I got someone that stayed with me for almost 5 years before she had to further her studies of which i am still in touch with her.

Let her go.

4 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by D1zion: 3:44pm On Jan 06, 2020

Amanee:
Wasted my three seconds thinking you'll finally say something sensible, alas...

honestly, I don't know why some people thinks from their anus.is just to say he contributed. Very useless comments even a deranged baby cannot say that.

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by UjuJoan2: 3:45pm On Jan 06, 2020

NwaAmaikpe:

Your husband is willing to house her despite knowing her husband is just a breadth away.

Most importantly, you see the good in her that not even her husband who married her and her mother-in-law who lives with her sees.
You apparently have concluded that this lady is indispensable to the life of your kids and the bliss of your family.

Hanty, there is only one way to keep her without hurting both yourself and her mother-in-law.
Just tell your husband to marry her, that way she will become you people's property and you will not feel so bad when your husband starts screwing her.

Because definitely, water must find it's level this one that Broda wants her sleeping under his roof.

Over to Lalast.iclala and the other elders.

And you started out so well . . . I thought you were actually going to make sense for once undecided

6 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by anselm791(m): 3:45pm On Jan 06, 2020

Neddstark:
Your abbreviations bored me off

I stopped reading right there.
The assumption that I know what it meant turned me off especially in an even lengthy post.

2 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by D1zion: 3:48pm On Jan 06, 2020

vincentjk:
Please what's MIL and DIL?

MIL mother in-LAW
DIL Daughter in-law

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by UjuJoan2: 3:48pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.
Ignore my typos pls

I know you think you want to help her, but you should prioritize yourself and your family first. She has too much baggage, and in trying to help her you could cause more problems for yourself.

Do you have a family member or friend that need the services of a Nanny? You could recommend her.

Also, nobody should be indispensable in your home except you. You will find someone else and you and your kids will adjust!

3 Likes

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Vloml222(f): 3:50pm On Jan 06, 2020

[/quote][quote author=omonikiba post=85539729]This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

I will advice you to let her go and do not interfere with her private life,as to protect you and your family...evil everywhere....wish the story were different ,like the said MIL n HUBBY isnt your co-landlords,you could have retained her n given her an accommodation..but dear your hands are tied here,you cant do other wise..just let go of her n prolly just financially help her ,as to sustain herself when she gets to the village till she is stable to get something doing.
Like its said ,wisdom is profitable to direct.

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by frozen70(f): 3:52pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

Very simple thing to do

Let her go as the husband family doesn't want her again

If she Reay goes back to her fathers family, take a trip, visit her there and make your intentions know to her family that you need her service as you have lived with her and like her

Tell them you will be paying her whatever you agree with them but you will rather open account for her, pay the salary to her account so that she will have money to start a new lease of life when it's big enough

Once they agree, take her back, go yo court swear an affidavits of fact with her and go with you both passport pictures

She will swear an affidavits if loyalty while working with you and you will swear an affidavits of trust to keep paying her as at when due

Look forget about what people will talk, don't expect every one to like what you do

As for her mother in law and husband, you didn't collect her from them this time around, you did from her family

If you guys are doing estate meeting and the matter gets to the meeting, defend yourself with prove of court affidavits

She us an adult not a minor so she has her senses intact and not that you are deceiving her

Her husband family wants to frustrate her because they feel she doesn't have any body or can't do anything

You are her messiah so help her out

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by D1zion: 3:53pm On Jan 06, 2020

Amstupid:
no nid to blow grammer on u ,,, just want to say dis

God bless you abeg,look for the thunder make e kee am set.nonesence fool.
I thought I was the only one that saw his nonesence.

1 Like

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by TobyeCole: 3:54pm On Jan 06, 2020

omonikiba:
This is so urgent now.

This woman is so nice to us, my kids love her and am heart broken she's leaving today.

I have being trying to manage her marriage, she has issues with the MIL and hubby, they don't want to see her around. Her husband wants to take her back to the village, we've done all our best, I knelt down with other elderly people to beg but the MIL insist she's rude and want her to leave.

I will really be hurt to see her go, who else can I trust my kids with? I leave my rooms open with no fear, she doesn't steal and obey all instructions to the letter. In fact, am soooo free with her around my kids.

I have two vacant rooms around, we don't mind housing her, my husband want her to stay with us but I said no, I thought about it carefully and so said no. My reasons are;

* I don't want to have issues with the MIL, we are both house owners, not just tenants that will depart sooner or latter so I don't want any issue with a fellow landlady.

* She is way older than me, I call her mama. So I hate to hurt an elderly person. Taking her DIL in will surely hurt her. And she might think so instigated the DIL against her.

* I don't want other landlords to see me as a bad person.

* What if something happens to this girl or what of if she starts to misbehave?

*My sister and older relations advise against it.

* Her MIL will do everything possible to tarnish my image in our estate.

This girl isn't a bad girl, she is this village girls that if you manage well, you'll get the best out of them but her MIL n hubby are phycos. Very difficult to be with. She's highly unforgiving. She insist this girl must go because she doesn't fit her status. But they saw the kind of person she is before marrying her.

Enough of too much talk.

What do I do to keep her without hurting her MIL.

If she leaves, the stress will be too much for me and I don't think I'll get someone else due to trust.

I need help.

Ignore my typos pls

Look at how you came over to the Internet calling me a psycho lieing and twisting information Mummy Lekan

Since when did the girl become your nanny or who handed her over to you as a nanny

Oma a se o

Look at how you depicted my family as a dysfunctional family for no just case and you came to the world boldly calling us unprintable names because a girl we picked from the street became reblious and after over 5 years of trying to correct her to the best of our love and care, we called her dad to have him take her because she wasn't responding to disciplinary measures.

Look at how you came to the view of the whole world because we asked a girl who we once in a her ask her to pay you a visit and help with your home care go home.

So because my family saw a girls loyalty was questionable and poses a risk to the family and asked the family. Come pick her up we have become pyscho

Why not say the truth. Am I your brother in law or is my mother related to you in anyway

As a married woman you call yourself who hardly make out time for kids we asked this girl after school to help you out while at the same time you help her with her assignment because you dmwont have that free hand to do your house work while you roam around town you dare call ym family psychos painting lies to look for validations.

All of this is because we open our home and family to you not knowing we were opening ourselves up to a blackmailer and a false chirsitain who would turn out to be a betrayer.

Yes you know who's typing. Well done Mummy Lekan. God will surely judge all humankind with genuine righteousness and not with one sided stories people tell to appear nice

Yes God will judge you

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Yankee101: 3:57pm On Jan 06, 2020

She's an adult. Ask her if she wants to stay with you, if yes, get a court affidavit to that effect saying she's staying of her own free will

If she's an adult she can stay

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by Diego1989(m): 3:57pm On Jan 06, 2020

A305:
To be honest I didn't read op's story but I know if her nanny is leave, she should let her leave. Hire a new one or take your kids to day care and get that CHEAP 09 corrolla on my page to make your morning runs easier.

Hey Oga! Take time with this ur Corolla wahalla o. How much u go sale am last ?

Re: My Kids Nanny Is Leaving - Urgent Advise by BarristerAlarig: 3:57pm On Jan 06, 2020

AfonjaBoston:
You are typical selfish, egocentric, proud, talkative, busybody and foolish naija woman who really don't care about her kids.

She is a good nanny liked by your kids but you are full of BULLCRAP about what her family will say about a nanny doing a good job.

She is not a criminal or ex-con so why would you be worried about what the neighbours or landlord association will say?

You are really foolish and If I was your husband na beating I go use reset your brain

Too bad we have poor security in our Psychiatric Hospitals, else, why would you be able to escape?

4 Likes

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