₦airaland Forum

Davash222:
After the day's toil, a married man needs the wife's cuddle and touches at night. It's essential in every young marriage. Coming back home at night to behold your sexy wife alone with lingerie at your wide bed gives joy and also elongates life's span. Wives should stop depriving their husbands this privilege.
One of the reasons for having children bedrooms is to create provisions for these things.


OP, I understand how you feel. Imagine a 7 month old baby dragging your breast with you.. Breast that you paid for. I know you dont have access to that breast again. Nawao

Abeg help me ask him how much he paid the breast.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Hehehehhehe iron lady...i really like the way u gave reasons for ur answer.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

I support u 100 percent

Davash222:
After the day's toil, a married man needs the wife's cuddle and touches at night. It's essential in every young marriage. Coming back home at night to behold your sexy wife alone with lingerie at your wide bed gives joy and also elongates life's span. Wives should stop depriving their husbands this privilege.
One of the reasons for having children bedrooms is to create provisions for these things.


OP, I understand how you feel. Imagine a 7 month old baby dragging your breast with you.. Breast that you paid for. I know you dont have access to that breast again. Nawao

D write up is fiction

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

get a side chick, she'll understand. I hate nonsense.

NoToPile:
Whats the problem here?

Lets do the do in the other room after the kids are asleep, is this an issue?

You most likely cant have sex until your 7months old is sleeping or highly distracted .

I think the wife’s just giving the guy an excuse, I think she’s tired of him emotionally and not sexually moved towards him, things like this destroy marriages.

Sorry Sir but you are not sounding matured for marriage. Why coming here to ask for us view or thought when your wife has already proposed that you guys can have it in the other room? Please go and apologize to your wife and stop creating irrelevant scene where there is none.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

Its good to see many of u trying to enhance ur fiction writing skills

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

There is nothing wrong with what you are asking for. In fact it's needed and it's important for wives to be able to satisfy both the kids and husband. But many of us allow the kids distract us and take all our attention.

I was warned seriously about this in counselling and from older ones. So I trained my child to sleep in her bed right from the hospital. I used to get up from bed to pick her up from her bed to breastfeed her. I only co-slept occasionally when she needed extra attention. And once she's fine and asleep, she's back in her bed. It made her get used to her bed.Once a mother starts co-sleeping especially for the sake of breastfeeding, it's hard to stop.

Most times it's the excuse of waking up to breastfeed that causes this. I did exclusive for over 4 months but we didn't co-sleep.

Instead of moving out of the room, you should have spoken to her about what you think about the whole arrangement. I understand you well, because I like to cuddle-sleep. And having a child there will spoil it.

And please don't let anyone think you don't love your kids because you want them to give you and your wife space and privacy in your bed. You both need it.

Wow

daddytime:
Are you in a competition with your kids for mummy's attention.

Something has got to give with kids in the mix, and that is sacrifice.

The kids can sleep in their bed. They should be trained to do so. Couples need their space and privacy in their bed.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

I don't comment on certain issues for some reasons but this comment of yours makes no sense. It isn't like they are fighting or something. The problem is lack of creativity and insensitivity and you you find it convenient to say he should court and date her to have her open up.

Like someone said, some of you modern girls ehn, God help you all.

bukatyne:
@Oga Prosper:

I don't know your 8yr old daughter sleeps in your room.

The poster below said it: You leave all parenting decisions to your wife.



You don't like the kids in your matrimonial bed? Tell her and set up the guest room for the 8yr old and the crib for the 7mths old in your room.

If your wife is worried about the safety of the 8yr old (I don.t know why she could be), you both check on her once at night.

Also learn to communicate: You feel your daughter should sleep independently: Tell your wife, she is not a witch.

Your sex life is dwindling? Tell her.

Stop feeling things or wondering how to tell her; create a cool atomsphere for discussion (probably after food) and raise your concerns.

And please do not reward bad behaviour: You do not need to 'date' your wife before she has sex with you or do her other duties.

Please note I am not saying you both shouldn't date/ court yourselves; I am saying do not do it to cajole her to do what she needs to do.

Do it as recreation; all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Goodluck.

Nice one dearie

Dey there dey speak english....person talk wetin dey chook an for liver, u dey yarn another thing.

U feel its a useless rant, but u can't deny your hormones and physiology.

Many marriages have gone down d drain on top this matter.

......imagine there was an immediate option and self control is on the low low..

quote author=Vortex369 post=86045981]

Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.[/quote]

Brooke60:
You need to join her in the parenting.

The reason for leaving the room is flimsy.

When both of you start the parenting together, you will start enjoying your marriage.

The guy is not thinking straight, he said he's sex starved..

Baba communicate with your wife..



If not soapy comes to rescue

My 2 month old son sleeps beside his mother on her bed in her room so he can suck all the breast he needs, my 2 year old son sleeps beside me on my bed, d guy na kungfu guy he can slap u and kick while sleeping so had to be separated from his little brother b4 he blow am for eye. If time for knacking reach, after the kids don sleep, d bedmatics go sort out himself. This thing no be big deal bros. Na your wife, not your aunty or your Grandma.

Some people commenting here dont know what the function and psychology of a "room" is and what it entails.

The children should sleep in your room until theyre 18 years old, wonderful

Please, let me come and blend my pepper in your living room and sleep in your bathroom...nonsense

Anybody above the age of 3 years should carry their tiny bumbum to their room biko. You can even put their cot in their room with a baby monitor

Talk Talk Talk it over with your wife.



2 yrs old shouldn't sleep with you and wify let alone 8 years. I guess being an only child for too long caused it.

Let your big baby start sleeping in her room. To achieve that, your wife should lay with her there once she is fast asleep wify should return to your bedroom.

7 months old should be put to sleep in his crib. At 7 months the baby won't wake more than once if fed well before bedtime.


Talk it over with your wife.

This may come late but still an advice. I took time to read your story to analyse your complaints. Here are my observations.

1. Your level of sexual combat is high which you are accustomed with your wife but the new situation looks alien to you. You were not prepared nor have foresight your sexual life can hit the rock owing to your wife's less sexual attention. The blame could stem from your constant intimacy in your dating and early marital period. It's a good thing but sometimes we create space to overcome the temptation of constant sex and cuddling. You need to give her time to recover from her emotional state of child bearing. She is now a mother of two and her level of thinking might not what it use to be. Make her feel special and chase her like you just met her. The more women grows, the more they want their husbands to spoil them. Doing this without noticeable change, ignore her advances when she needs it the most.

2. You should place restriction to the children sleeping between you and your wife. Be in control and sternly inform your wife to put the children at their bed cart or you will leave the house for both of them. How can an eight year old not bold enough to have her room to herself?

Marriage to me is like a business, if not taken with care and commitment with sacrifice, it will fail....

Op, most of the ladies advising you on this thread are sex prude ladies. They do not see sex as pleasure and life reliever. They only see it as biological process for birth. Do not follow them. I repeat, do not follow them.

Lack of sex can make a marriage break.
Lack of sex can make stress increase.
Lack of good sex makes marriages break.
Lack of good sex increases stress level.

First, communication.
Remind your wife the benefits of sex to a man. To her.
Re arrange your alone time with her to be when the 8 year old isn't home, if possible.
When both of the kids are sleeping and you get Hot, drag your wife to another room and knack.
Do not listen to women advising you not to bother about sex. I repeat. Do not. That's how their husband will complain to other friends that they are starving them of sex, one day.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

My thoughts exactly...But Ma/Sir whoever u are please can u kindly be my Sensei(Teacher)?!I want to be like u aswear.

Ladylite:
... simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

This is ridiculous! The OP has not displayed any act of irresponsibility whatsoever. If it would require additional pampering for the wife to do the needful, the woman is giving direct invitation to extramarital sexual relationships.


I rest my case.

I think that situation cus u to stay long before getting the second child. We'll u just need to be patient n consider your family. Sex goes a long way in marriage but don't let that to weak the love u av for wife. Always talk to your wife abt it n get a possible solution to solve the sax starving

An 8 year old still sleeps with the Mother? The 7 month old,I can understand that but the 8 year old?

bukatyne:
You have no inkling about what marriage is.

By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids.

If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue.

that aside the rudeness was not necessary. I find it disturbing someone can't give an advice without calling you names first.

The guy has got sex offer from his wife and yet complaining just because he feels its like an appointment? He ain't putting the children and wife interest before his sadly. It should be a mutual decision they both make though

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Seriously, you guys won't understand. I am a woman and I have a child but I understand him quite well. Even when children start coming, couples MUST endeavour to maintain their own bond and relationship too. And it's not rocket science. I don't like my daughter sleeping in my bed because I want to be able to roll over, occupy my space and cuddle-sleep with my husband. Having her there would be uncomfortable.

We trained her to sleep in her crib from when she was born. Because this kind of things cause couples to become distant and disconnected. It's something we were warned about in marriage counselling...to try to maintain our love relationship when the kids start coming.

Op is not stupid or silly or mad. He's a man who loves his wife and misses her. Some men will keep quiet and get their satisfaction outside and let the wives concentrate on the children.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

You are a selfish man,you made it look like your wife turned down sex completely,she is willing but you aren't cool with the new and temporary arrangements,so what do we say to this?
ọga accept the new arrangements for now until your children are old enough to sleep all alone

sisisioge:
Haaa! You should have put your feet down when it started! An eight year old girl sleeping with you! Na wa o. Biko let everyone go back to their rooms now.

sisisi, come here. Why do all your posts start with exclamation? Haaaa, oooh, wow, eww! Oya answer me fast