I quite understand you very much. I had such experience when my 3 year old daughter sleeps between me and my wife. This was so because I come home late almost every night (nature of my job) and this made her sleep on same bed with my wife.
I always sleep in d next room but anytime I feel like having it she gives me and in every corner I grab her and that makes her have memory when am away .
Try and refresh d love between u. Sometime d kids might be watching cartoon and u cuddle her to room for short sex or even ur kitchen if it's not exposed etc by such even when u r sleeping alone she will always come meet u without inviting her.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Quote of the year. "She will give you sex"

You see why I say Nigerians don't raise men anymore?

How can a small issue like this be brought to a forum filled with touts?

For crying out loud your wife is not denying you sex. She is trying her best to meet you half way even though her attachment to your kids is on a high bar.

The person up there who advised you to date your wife is not stupid. He/she knows how that will help to reenforce that bond and remind your wife that its you and her till death.

You think its easy being a mother? The whole pregnancy and motherhood affects the psychology of mothers differently.

If you agree to date your wife all over again, it is she who would start teaching your 8 year old daughter how to sleep alone sharp sharp. Even your 7 months old will join the sister sooner.

You made a mistake by moving your resting place to the other room. Oya, carry your pillow back to your room and do the needful.

My broda u don't have any choice than to join her where she sleep and do de necessary if I really know that konji is really disturbing u.

Now let's talk about people who have only one room and 4 to 5 children, have u ever asked ur sef how did dey continue to give birth or make love uptill having such amount of children?

My dear,the presence of the children around doesn't matter a lot. u guyz can do it codedly okay.

Women in the house, though you might say no man is worth giving full satisfaction. If your man is the caring type and possess all the qualities you want, depriving him will make him switch and never look at you again. Many marriages had gone through OP's stage without survival and it starts right from bedroom miscommunication.

The longevity of marriage starts from good bedroom communication and when that is threatening, walls of marriage begin to break.

See it from another angle. Don't always see it from your emotional angle.

Pussywar:
I

Jesus Christ. Breast you paid for? You see why Nigerian men are trash? You see why they are entitled, unromantic animals with over inflated egos? You see why 'bride price' is a barbaric practice? Dude, you're an uneducated person.

Stop taking everything personally jo

Vortex369:


Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Do you have to insult before you advise him?

Your advice is the cause of many women's woes. A man is telling you is weakness and you are there telling him to be a man. In case you don't know, love for sex, is part and parcel of a real man. Do you know the temptation he goes through everyday? Do you even know if a lady out there is willing to service him for the time being.


Here me correct ladies, NEVER let your children take the place of your HUSBAND. Children are the blessing attached to marriage....your spouse will be there till death do you apart. Learn to balance your attention. Don't let your husband look outside because all your attention has been diverted to children. A child should be able to leave in his room as from the age of 2. By then his brain is already developed.

Finelinks:


You modern girls are intrinsically stupid.

Inukwa ..
He should pamper her, buy gifts, date her etc so that:

"she will GIVE him sex"

Iranu..

Tufia

Don't mind some empty head girls. Their world is in their very own head.

koyyes:
You see why I say Nigerians don't raise men anymore?

How can a small issue like this be brought to a forum filled with touts?

For crying out loud your wife is not denying you sex. She is trying her best to meet you half way even though her attachment to your kids is on a high bar.

The person up there who advised you to date your wife is not stupid. He/she knows how that will help to reenforce that bond and remind your wife that its you and her till death.

You think its easy being a mother? The whole pregnancy and motherhood affects the psychology of mothers differently.

What is he dating her for! Why do you need to be "dated" before you will do the right thing?

When the man starts carrying idiot girls up and down she will still come here and open a thread to complain.

How can you bring up motherhood to defend this; so should she also follow the girl to school and to the bathroom under the guise of "motherhood"? Give me a break! She's suffocating her daughter.

The small babe will grow up, marry her own husband and enjoy her life while you mess your own marriage up and use her as an excuse smh

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

8years old still sleeping on the bed with her mum? That's not even healthy for the child.

As for your wife, she doesn't want to have sex with you and that's why you should be worried. If she wants you, she will clear the bed and create an enabling environment.

The fact that she's using the children as an excuse has an even deeper implication.

Enemyofpeace:
Your wife is getting laid by another man, probably your best friend, ex boyfriend, he boss or all of the above

Indeed you're an enemy of peace.

Op, Just say thank you..With this..your problem is solved

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Your wife is very busy at the moment and all she needs now is support and not rants about sex.
She has a 7 months baby to deal with, fvcking get that into your skull damn it.

She even manages to sneak into the other room for the sex after working hard to put the kids to bed while you probably sit and watch TV. Aren't you selfish? Damn, some men piss me off with this selfish mentality.

After reading your story,all I can say is simply understand with your wife,she is taking care of your own offsprings and need a all the support she can get. As for the sex u can get it by letting her know when u want it. Your wife loves you and please go back to the room where your wife n kids are.
Your a father plus husband play your role

RisenPhoenix:


Of course it does not. While one is giving birth and taking care of children, you concentrate on another one. Rinse and repeat ad infinitum.

Lol

[s]

Ladylite:


Your left over brain didn't tell you that child bearing affects the woman's hormones...

Monkey... Your selfishness is note worthy... So you should just have sex even if she is in the mood or not.

Pls sit in a grave

[/s]

midnighter:
WHAT is the 8 year old girl doing in your room! Bleep!

That is totally crazy! Let me go back and read the OP again because I seriously dont get it!

Call me a bush woman but which book did she get the "attachment parenting" from? Attatchment ko, Weave-on ni

INSANITY! How can your wife be advocating for growing her first daughter into a weakling

WHEN is she going to go and sleep in her room OMGOSH. Im screaming

SO you havent had your wife to yourself at night for 8 GOOD YEARS! I cant stop screaming

If i could have liked this post more than once, I would have.

eni4real:
Stop taking everything personally jo

Keep the same energy when a white person calls you a nigga. Misogyny is always minor. Rubbish.

bukatyne:


And of course living the life.

Men are living the life in polygamy: Women would fight to cook for you, fight for your attention, fight to sleep with you, fight to even care for you

Lol

RisenPhoenix:
Just do as our elders did and marry another wife.

Problem solved.

That is what he wanted ooo
He is now saying shit hear
If he want to marry a second wife, he should marry and let his wife know about it

Abi which one is story by sunlight now

Niorte:


Do you have to insult before you advise him?

Your advice is the cause of many women's woes. A man is telling you is weakness and you are there telling him to be a man. In case you don't know, love for sex, is part and parcel of a real man. Do you know the temptation he goes through everyday? Do you even know if a lady out there is willing to service him for the time being.


Here me correct ladies, NEVER let your children take the place of your HUSBAND. Children are the blessing attached to marriage....your spouse will be there till death do you apart. Learn to balance your attention. Don't let your husband look outside because all your attention has been diverted to children. A child should be able to leave in his room as from the age of 2. By then his brain is already developed.

You are thinking with your dick. Some of you think the world begins and ends with sex because you do not even know the purpose of life and why you were born.

When you realize your Life mission, you will not build your life around sex and madness.

Winneygirl:

How long does this attachment parenting last for?
I don't subscribe to it.
Your kids will be too attached and dependent on the parent. Their personalities are forming now.
Your 8 year old is not too far from secondary school o.

Exactly. The 8 year old could even be on Nairaland reading this and laughing

Sad truth.You're not sexy enough for your woman, that you're in marriage doesn't mean you'll have to develop belly pot and eat your to fatness, if my wife gets fat she should just forget about sex

TheExecutioner:
You actually consider this to be a problem?

the thing tire me o. His wife even suggested they have sex in the other room when the children are asleep. I see no problem here.

unmask:
he doesn't need to do all these if he gets a disposable side chick

How inhumane can you be again... Disposable? Someone's daughter. Choi

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

Abegi!

You ladies are annoying with all these yeye advice y'all give when topics like these come up

I am even surprised you didn't specifically add "Help her in the kitchen, help her cook, bla bla bla".

All these just because of sex to someone that married you with his hard earned money o. No wonder many married men cheat. Also no wonder most guy these days run away when ladies tell them "No sex until marriage" because they know their hard work of waiting to have sex with them will not pay off. Mstcheeeeeeeeew!

midnighter:


Is it not what they use as comedy in American tv drama? Those backward families in the rural areas where incest is common and people dont have good boundaries..the running joke is that the grown children sleep in their parents bed and end up developing some strange character

Thats the problem with fake "woke" people in this country... instead of evaluating an idea sensibly, you try to be more American than the Americans and end up getting it all wrong

Some people here are actually defending the wife and insulting the OP, Im shocked.

Don't know if u have any clue on how stressful it is to breastfeed and babysit a child.....This woman there is being overworked and bombarded with home chores...Yes,She should be complaining but she's not...Which time she won get to take think of sex and romance when all OP wants is another Stress upon suffer.

Greystone:


If i could have liked this post more than once, I would have.

Hahaha Im in shock.

If people who cant afford more than one room crave for space...If in developed countries, the government will try to give poor families a house with enough room to give the children some privacy...what then do we call this?

Answer: Insanity.

Ladylite:
This is a real question that many singles have not begun to consider or discuss before marriage.

I hope you know that your wife loves you, but the sacrifice you have to make is beyond sleep, it also involves sex... Now that there is a 7month old blessed baby with you, simply DATE your wife.....

By date I mean, treat her well, do things for her and be very nice to her as expected, buy her gifts, pamper her... She will give you sex.. I assure you.

Your wife is going through a major phase and you need to understand it and be there for her.

I hope this is clear

You are irredeemably foolish!!!

While some reasonable women are making sensible comments, you are here talking about buying gifts like a runs girl.

Hm! OP, all this wailing na on top sex?
They are your children o. No go begin pepper body give innocent children wen God give you o.

Imagin that little baby of 7months na him you dey drag breast and cuddling with. Between both of you, who needs the cuddling most? Not baby? Abeg chilax for the children. She even suggested you have it elsewhere, you're still hellbent on dragging bed with kids. Are you a kiddo?

If she wasn't nursing a baby, I'll say ok, let her adjust but with 7 months baby? Nor let me call you agba....

Make una sha nor wound the woman.

If any Nairalander mention me for nonsense ehn.....

midnighter:


What is he dating her for! Why do you need to be "dated" before you will do the right thing?

When the man starts carrying idiot girls up and down she will still come here and open a thread to complain.

How can you bring up motherhood to defend this; so should she also follow the girl to school and to the bathroom under the guise of "motherhood"? Give me a break! She's suffocating her daughter.

The small babe will grow up, marry her own husband and enjoy her life while you mess your own marriage up and use her as an excuse smh

Did you read the part where he said she doesn't deny him sex? Or are you just hell bent on using the vices of selfish, uncultured, indisciplined males to threaten a young marriage?

And there is nothing wrong with him dating her. She is his wife. They can do whatever they want to spice it up and solve his little issue.

I have left adultery out of my epistle to show it should never be an option for a responsible man who wants to enjoy marital bliss.