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Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage - Romance (5) - Nairaland

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Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by dalass(f): 3:59pm On Feb 02, 2020
Divorce now and stop wasting our precious time to be reading long post


Yes, end it all....All the money and other resources you spent are not important and others who were there to witness your Union are unimportant....

Lastly. Do it quickly cos an angel with all great qualities is waiting just for you...

grin grin

3 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Thegoodone13(m): 3:59pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?
please, don't divorce her.give her time she will change. Within two years of marriage, this types of things do happen. She may be thinking, if she didn't marry you may be she could have find better husband. Her mind is not yet settle. Don't fight her

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by GerogeI(m): 3:59pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?


I think your inability to consider and act like equal partners is the problem.
You said you can’t allow your wife make important marriage decision. Bros who are you marrying, if your are not making decisions with your wife, then you are marrying yourself, all you need is a maid.

Allowing a women equal footing and say in a marriage does not make you less of a man, rather you start a process of fusion that will lead you through lives. Forget money, forget she is a student, forget all these achievements you have, the bottom line is that two heads are better than one, if two heads are not making the decisions, then it’s not two heads but one.

Do not let archaic mind set rub you of your marriage. First try to change, allow her to control things, especially things that do not affect your business or work. If it’s not working still, you can go for 3 months temporal seperation first.

4 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Spectrum22: 3:59pm On Feb 02, 2020
Abeg make una decide fast fast, we no wan hear say somebody kill somebody.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by cooooooks(m): 4:00pm On Feb 02, 2020
You can't marry wife and keep her at home just like that. Not anymore.

Share your life with her. She has to be involved in all decisions. You should humble yourself and propose a clean slate. Nobody should bring up any old strife again. Ever.

2 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Nobody: 4:02pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)...

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

Thanks for sharing

From what you shared here, it seems you have a certain expectation of what marriage SHOULD be.

Everyone is different, and you must understand that both you and your wife are FLAWED individuals; it's childish to keep playing the victim.

The final choice is yours and it will depend on how you've chosen define marriage: a Hollywood fairytale OR a lifelong COMMITMENT between 2 people who will grow together.

Have a sincere discussion with your wife on the commitments you both have to make to help both of you MATURE emotionally.

Cheers!
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by aminusodiq(m): 4:02pm On Feb 02, 2020
Get her pregnant nd marry someone else... She never loved u

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Nobody: 4:02pm On Feb 02, 2020
AshiraWealthy:



But Why?
Shey school dey commot person sense ni?
girls in school still wanna have fun and explore. Nysc too is also der to flex. Some also have dreams of working small before marriage

2 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by unekwu212: 4:02pm On Feb 02, 2020
Marriage is not a do or die thing, it's an agreement btw 2 persons. If ur wife is always making the claims that u forced her into marrying you it's not the best oooo and she doesn't even love u self because if she does whether mentally ready or not she will never complain rather enjoy the marriage.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Tpresh(f): 4:03pm On Feb 02, 2020
Doesn't sound like she's ready to make things work, infact you both are tired of the marriage...See a counselor and see what comes out of it first, God will make you guys find peace...Amen


The stuff I read here is even making marriage a scare zone.....

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by mechanics(m): 4:03pm On Feb 02, 2020
You don't have to think of divorce, just keep praying for her.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Ramos16(m): 4:04pm On Feb 02, 2020
Petyprincess:
The truth is your wife doesn't love you no more or never loved you!! Moreover why did you forced her into marriage with you? That's where the problem started.Nw the best way is to go your separate ways since the marriage is even early nd she's already gotten fed up with you,nw that you have no kids you still can still divorce nd let her continue her single life since that's what she always wanted!! If you dnt divorce she will keep on blaming you for forcing her into marriage when she wasn't ready.Its better divorcing that getting stalked in marriage that love isnt mutual!!


That's bullshit, how do you force someone into marriage

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Nobody: 4:05pm On Feb 02, 2020
lexy2014:


What is there to sit and discuss when u have already said that there was no love in d first place?

Should he just send her away? Like just get home and say, "hey! Pack your things and leave my house".
The should have a heart to heart talk at least for what the sake of what they've shared in the short time. Who knows, it may not even be what we are insinuating.

2 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Nobody: 4:06pm On Feb 02, 2020
Uisce:
When a girl's not into you, she's not into you. If you want, empty your back account or go to the moon to get money for her, na you sabi.

are you implying that women chooses?? and not the other way round?
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by olajide8(m): 4:06pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

I can tell you, your wife's age range- she is between 26-28yrs marry a woman between that age you are in trouble marry a younger woman and only God would save the marriage by the time she gets to that age- if you want to have peace of mind 33-35yr old are best, they have dated all the sugar daddies and have been dumped by all those they felt was theirs, they have also swam the ocean and drilled for crude oil in the desert - they are the only ones that can be submissive any other Na just God dey pacify their hearts
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by alexola20(m): 4:07pm On Feb 02, 2020

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by difference5050: 4:08pm On Feb 02, 2020
If you want to live long divorce her as soon as possible and never you accept her apology because I know she will come back and ask you to forgive her.but if you want die young keep on begin her to love you okay look at what someone you just weded three months is ago is vomiting.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by alexola20(m): 4:08pm On Feb 02, 2020

2 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by emeshot: 4:08pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

You just have to be calm bro,do not take what she says that serious.she is a woman.never ever allow her behaviour affect your affection towards her.keep standing as a man in the house and also never ever share your challenges with any member of her family and yours.do your think,do your business and continue as a lovely husband.with time she will adjust and understand that she is a married woman.sont forget never ever allow her behaviour affect you.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by toye440: 4:09pm On Feb 02, 2020
Randy100:
Divorce is the surest thing now but since you don waste all your money on her get her pregnant so that you don't loose too much.
wrong advice, pls never make babies with pple u dont love, u r just going to put them through psychological and emotional trauma which is so unfair. They dont deserve it.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by juman(m): 4:11pm On Feb 02, 2020
Dont look towards divorce, but rather think about how to repair the marriage.
The issue in the marriage is not extraordinary.
Seek for resolving the issues and live a good life after.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by shineeye1: 4:12pm On Feb 02, 2020
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

The youths of today are all paying a HEAVY price for their fancied freedom from the laws of God. Una Neva see anything. Things will get real worse and chaotic until your "freedom" becomes complete bondage that you cannot manage.
No amount of counsel can save Op's marriage when the supposed wife neither believes nor agrees that the husband is her Lord who she must engage with reverence and submission in all matters. There is no hope for a godless nation who draw near God will their lips but their hearts are FAR and stubbornly unyielded to Him

3 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Misscongenialit: 4:13pm On Feb 02, 2020
Most couples experience this after the marriage, some maybe 6 months , some after a year.
The problem is usually the immature partner that doenst want to let go of previous life and settle down as a responsible married person.
If she wants space, please let her have as much as she wants, clearly you love her more and willing to make this work, but she will play on your love even more throughout this marriage , how you handle this issue goes a long way to determine how you will be treated in it.

Pls , give her the space she wants, you dont have kids yet so dont fret. If she greets you return in same tone , if she doenst eat with you eat alone, just act like you are not even bothered . Dont even check on her or monitor her, if you have a good sister or mum or good friends spend some time with them, avoid the temptation of another woman. Dress up look good and take a trip alone. If you are working or in business ,devote this time to these and you will be amazed at how the minds can sort itself.

If nothing changes in the next 12months, pls it's better to be single and alone than married and lonely

1 Like

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by eguarojeona: 4:13pm On Feb 02, 2020
AshiraWealthy:



But Why?
Shey school dey commot person sense ni?
Illegal sex is the sweetest sha.And moreover guys and girls cheat almost proportionally.Fact.
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by lexy2014: 4:15pm On Feb 02, 2020
AshiraWealthy:


Should he just send her away? Like just get home and say, "hey! Pack your things and leave my house".
The should have a heart to heart talk at least for what the sake of what they've shared in the short time. Who knows, it may not even be what we are insinuating.

These are your exact words. Its a contradiction of what u said above:

"You tot she loved you while she was only using you to aquire her education, and you being deceived decided to take it to next level even when that was not her mission (get married to you).
Who knows, prolly she has seen someone she plans to get married to after using you to complete her education. reason she was postponing the wedding".

With all u said here, what's d need to sit down and talk? How there be a "heart to heart" with this type of scenario u just painted?
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by ruffDiamond: 4:16pm On Feb 02, 2020
na naija girl she?u you are not just looking for trouble,you in it already!check my post on this mad-rriage ish so far..baby mama is bae!the day of good marriage,with loving,caring, understanding, contented ,(for better for worse) partner is history! actually our Father were very lucky indeed! they sticked together through thick and thin, weathered together,all the storm life could throw at em!and still raised good , conscientious kid! I'M ONE.I could have been a yahoo boy or something worse but I always remember my father beating!he never hesitated to grab the cane damn! but Las Las all of us is finally OK today.we get sense well well hehehe no bitches born of any woman can play me for maga orumu like the OP..I laugh at all these IGK,, they love to ty think they are wiser but are actually mostly stupid! like most things with this useless county, everything is going south,no sense,,no intelligence,no decorum no moral nothing!see this one wey spent 3m to a bitch that is now quoting law and forming feminist on top all your money.she must be from a poor background , since you sponsored her education,, I know their type,nigga why u go even sponsor any bitch to school wey be say no be ya sister?wetin she go give u wey pass kitten ? today marriage is useless I pity men, nearly all this bitches had inglorious history of many sexcapade' they will never tell u!if u are wise,get her pregnant, after childbirth, endure for a while ,collect your child (by any means necessary)and kick the olosho out of your life that's all,you are good to go.most men marry cos of having a child and NOTHING ELSE

5 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by showafrica(m): 4:16pm On Feb 02, 2020
iLegendd:
Weak men with money always think women are meant to be forced to marriage because they have money.

I have told men there are three things they need to master before marriage, else they will regret.

1. Handle women skill
2. Make money skill
3. Manage money skill

You probably have skill 2 and 3, but you lack skill 1 and trust me, any man who lacks skill 1 will live a life of regrets.

Allow her to go. The mistake is 100% from you, not her.

Though, if she goes, she'll come back in the future pleading. If she doesn't go, she'll cheat behind your back whether you like it or not.

So, choose what you want. Letting her go is the better option.

Yea, master woman/dating skills guys no wan hear. The girl still dey her hoe stage and my man think say money can solve the problem. That girl wan club, fuxk different pricks, mingle, adventure before retirement. The best thing my man to do now is to allow her go, go look for matured young girl wey wan settle down marry. How can you even spend 3m on wedding..? Some guys are just nonessential.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by abbey621(m): 4:17pm On Feb 02, 2020
Misscongenialit:
Most couples experience this after the marriage, some maybe 6 months , some after a year.
The problem is usually the immature partner that doenst want to let go of previous life and settle down as a responsible married person.
If she wants space, please let her have as much as she wants, clearly you love her more and willing to make this work, but she will play on your love even more throughout this marriage , how you handle this issue goes a long way to determine how you will be treated in it.

Pls , give her the space she wants, you dont have kids yet so dont fret. If she greets you return in same tone , if she doenst eat with you eat alone, just act like you are not even bothered . Dont even check on her or monitor her, if you have a good sister or mum or good friends spend some time with them, avoid the temptation of another woman. Dress up look good and take a trip alone. If you are working or in business ,devote this time to these and you will be amazed at how the minds can sort itself.

If nothing changes in the next 12months, pls it's better to be single and alone than married and lonely

Sorry but your advice is like seeing smoke coming from your house and laughing, saying it's only smoke and not fire....lol. The best thing this guy can do is to dissolve the marriage quickly and move on, it is clear the girl is not ready for marriage but the bigger issue here is that she has no RESPECT for her husband or her mother. Such a girl cannot make a good wife, cannot make a good partner, cannot be trusted to raise good kids and most certainly is not worth the energy and sanity of a good man!

3 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by lexy2014: 4:17pm On Feb 02, 2020
juman:
Dont look towards divorce, but rather think about how to repair the marriage.
The issue in the marriage is not extraordinary.
Seek for resolving the issues and live a good life after.

D guys marriage is a done deal. Its dead. All this grammar won't change anything. It will only make things worse. No man can live with a scorned woman.

3 Likes

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Amumaigwe: 4:19pm On Feb 02, 2020
sisisioge:
Wow! But you forced her nau? The poor girl categorically stated that she wasn't mentally ready but you and her folks kept pushing! Na wa o...it is well.

But she was mentally ready when she was manipulating the guy to sponsor her education and when she insisted on a 3 million naira wedding?

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Meenabee(f): 4:20pm On Feb 02, 2020
Well your marriage is young but you two are to blame, stop reporting her to others and on her part she needs to submit to you. I don't believe you forced her into marriage cos you love each other. You need to sit her down and ask her if she really wants to be with you cos you two are stuck together only adultery can lead to divorce.
Most people prepare for wedding but are never prepared for marriage. So work things out and pray for your marriage also erase the notion of you not being happy in your marriage.
hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?
Re: Im Thinking Of Divorce Just Few Months Into Marriage by Nobody: 4:21pm On Feb 02, 2020
lexy2014:


These are your exact words. Its a contradiction of what u said above:

"You tot she loved you while she was only using you to aquire her education, and you being deceived decided to take it to next level even when that was not her mission (get married to you).
Who knows, prolly she has seen someone she plans to get married to after using you to complete her education. reason she was postponing the wedding".

With all u said here, what's d need to sit down and talk? How there be a "heart to heart" with this type of scenario u just painted?

Those are mere speculations, bro. I didn't say it as matter of factly. Ok? Which was why I used words like prolly ( probably).

My last statement is simply advising you to give room for hearing to be exactly sure before finally taking a decision.

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