Why would you force a woman into marriage I will only advice you to give her a divorce if that's what she want.

Petyprincess:
The truth is your wife doesn't love you no more or never loved you!! Moreover why did you forced her into marriage with you? That's where the problem started.Nw the best way is to go your separate ways since the marriage is even early nd she's already gotten fed up with you,nw that you have no kids you still can still divorce nd let her continue her single life since that's what she always wanted!! If you dnt divorce she will keep on blaming you for forcing her into marriage when she wasn't ready.Its better divorcing that getting stalked in marriage that love isnt mutual!!

Chill out.

How can a guy force a girl into marriage..

The guy says by January we.musy marry. It's up.to you to say no. If e no join then let.him go

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

. Remembrance of Biliaminu Sands is the beginning of wisdom.....You dated for 5 years yet no love between you.It appears there will be no love between you .It is painful u are married now.Only God can still help in your marriage

hybrid77:



Im a medical doctor

Brother mi,the foundation for solid relationship/marriage is LOVE.
once there is no love being mutual forget it cos it will not work.
Truth is she loved ur money and not u and never wanted settling with u
for her to say u forced her,her mind had been off u
If u feel letting her go won't bother u base on the expense u did on the wedding go ahead if not find a way get ur money back and move on.
I spent just 1.2m both trad and white and mine is waxing stronger with love and two lovely kids for 4 years now.
u deserve the best, move on.

is like once in a while they bring this kind of story to this forum to make it lively

as you can see, the page don hit 10

i doubt if this is real life story

CsRockefeller:


Rubbish!! Gibberish!! An inexcusable attitude for display of bad behaviour.

God didn't create a monster, I refuse to believe this narrative.

Any woman who tries that in my house should be ready to leave. Imagine the excuse for terrible behaviour!!

And she probably wants her man to not cheat yet is excusing bad behavior because she is a woman. If she was with her boss or her pastor or another male leader besides her spouse, she will probably display her best behavior. I never believed that too. Both men and women can use words to destroy and such persons need to work on their attitude. If I can discipline myself not to cheat I expect her to discipline her tongue too.

Your marriage won’t work until you drop the boss mentality and treat her like your partner.
You won’t “allow” her make decisions in your marriage. You insisted the wedding be at your own time instead of coming to a compromise.


In my opinion, you are the primary problem and your next marriage if you divorce from this one is likely to have issues too.

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

.

Now I really thank God believing I Dodge a bullet.

This the first time I'm sharing this online a girl I dated for 3years n did anything and everything for.... Once in a while she keeps saying I'm manipulative. I forced her into a relationship bla bla bla...

Funny enough I proposed last year before traveling she said yes twice we were even chatting and she told me how much she can't wait for me to get back...

All of a sudden after Shiloh 2019 she said God spoke to her clearly that she must be a pastor's wife and since I'm not ready to go into ministry she broke up with me that same month started dating another guy who proposed she agreed and my life for 3years gone.

I was dazed stunned lol confused and all but even though I feel like I'm still dreaming at times I thank God...

Bro you in you in try work it out that's life it sucks

77up:
#3million naira marriage in 3months going down like this



God know why I forbid spending blindly and stupidly on marriage, I know many slow nigga won't like this .


You are at fault in anyway guy.

girls here will tag u broke ass guy

some one is laying nnpc pipe in her. argue with your forefathers

bonnyhope:


girls here will tag u broke ass guy

I don't care about what they think .

I'm sure she has someone outside she wanted to marry, spend 3m on a wedding and you misbehave, you must vomit my money

bonnyhope:


girls here will tag u broke ass guy

That why u will always fail cos u live ur life to impress women.

liverpool72:
That why u will always fail cos u live ur life to impress women.

i meant girls on this forum will call you broke guy

i didnt say i myself

u understand me abi?

Uisce:
When a girl's not into you, she's not into you. If you want, empty your bank account or go to the moon to get money for her, na you sabi.

Same thing, if a man is not into you, if you like give him all the sex positions in the karma sutra, or even invent new ones; cook and clean, shine his house sef, he would still fvck the hell out of you and at the end, na you sabi.

ruffDiamond:
na naija girl she?u you are not just looking for trouble,you in it already!check my post on this mad-rriage ish so far..baby mama is bae!the day of good marriage,with loving,caring, understanding, contented ,(for better for worse) partner is history! actually our Father were very lucky indeed! they sticked together through thick and thin, weathered together,all the storm life could throw at em!and still raised good , conscientious kid! I'M ONE.I could have been a yahoo boy or something worse but I always remember my father beating!he never hesitated to grab the cane damn! but Las Las all of us is finally OK today.we get sense well well hehehe no bitches born of any woman can play me for maga orumu like the OP..I laugh at all these IGK,, they love to ty think they are wiser but are actually mostly stupid! like most things with this useless county, everything is going south,no sense,,no intelligence,no decorum no moral nothing!see this one wey spent 3m to a bitch that is now quoting law and forming feminist on top all your money.she must be from a poor background , since you sponsored her education,, I know their type,nigga why u go even sponsor any bitch to school wey be say no be ya sister?wetin she go give u wey pass kitten ? today marriage is useless I pity men, nearly all this bitches had inglorious history of many sexcapade' they will never tell u!if u are wise,get her pregnant, after childbirth, endure for a while ,collect your child (by any means necessary)and kick the olosho out of your life that's all,you are good to go.most men marry cos of having a child and NOTHING ELSE

My brother from another mother wey sabi well well. You never cease to make me proud of you. God bless you and me and other guys whom their eyes and brain have opened.

femalecobra:
But in summary one thing I know
1. You are married to a lady who wants a friend and companion in a man not a bossy person. Someone who can allow her think n reason with u. You bring your idea and she brings hers and u reason together n male a logical conclusion.
Imposing yourself won’t work and that’s just the truth.
I am that type of lady too. “You can’t tell me to always DO your decision” you have to bring d logical analysis that led to ur idea...I may have mine and suggest and if after you advised and I do mine having considered both options ....I need you to respect my choice as a “human” not a compelled slave called “wife” that must do what you want” . After all, I would respect your choices so I expect you respect mine when the sometimes differ from yours.

But when I know it’s what u want that must work out, Then I feel I am dealing “with a bossy man” and I can’t stand it...hell cant...I would be miserable.
Why would I choose that for the rest of my life?
“Why would I want to choose submitting” to a man Dt “compels” submission for the rest of my life when I can choose to date a man that is a friend in a husband?

So if u wanna keep bossing ....as per I am the man!!!!...you must do as I say.....from the message I think there would be a problem....
Cus your kind woman no go gree

That cost me a relationship but I walked out of it. I cried. I loved him. But I couldn’t think of forever with a man that wants to “lord” “rule” “question my friendships or even cut my normal ties with male colleagues” simply because they are males etc on top of “marriage”. He too was in a haste like you that we married. But having seen people’s experience in life, I Was of the opinion we get to know each other....and I greatfull for that that I over stood my grounds on that.
I cried n wept but I know it’s the best choice of my life!!!

2. You love her more than she loves u. Why it’s true it’s good for a man to love a woman very well and sometimes they say even more than she loves him....you must be sure she at least has 70% of what u feel for her....else she would treat you anyhow ooo....except over time and experience she gets to see that u are a good guy and begin to value u.

3. No doubt she is quite rude. So sorry to say. Because that tone is not even one that would bring peace. Even if you are bossy to her...it’s not by her being bossy in addressing the issue that would solve it.
Her tone is not one of love....that is crying desperately for a bossy husband to stop as she can’t stand it anymore and would likely quit if he doesn’t.

How did u guys date for 5 years and not get to be friends
Or fully understand each other
Was it 5 years or 5 months?

I don’t know the solution ...what I can identify here though is the problem�

Well my solution is that if you want the marriage to work you would need to sacrifice more as it’s obvious you are the one that loves her more for you to have said the marriage be rushed.
Just ignore her rudeness, do what you are to do, play your role, Love and gentleness in most time calms a lady....our conscience tells us to act better as we get to know it’s only a man that loves us that has come so low to take our bullshit and we just get to know that we just have to treat him right over time.

But if you keep fighting same way with a loud mouthed lady...you won’t make progress...
Resentment would only just Set in deeper and deeper!!!

So the ball is in your court,
Is the marriage worth fighting for?

Just ignore her rudeness, do what you are to do, play your role, Love and gentleness in most time calms a lady.... (That is a fact that has been proven)

our conscience tells us to act better as we get to know it’s only a man that loves us that has come so low to take our bullshit and we just get to know that we just have to treat him right over time.....( That's the selfish part of the female folks, have u considered that vice versa)


U have really analysed the topic....Kudos to you.


The guy has lost...."Stop nursing a lady"....It is an investment with no returns...

The lady has someone else in mind for her to say that she was forced and her mother was the spokesperson for the guy tells that...

Just a bitter experience, he will learn from and teach others...

I already hate that wife of yours.
She doesn't deserve you as the witch she is.
If she wanted it Easter this year we are talking about few weeks from now. So if by now she is still claiming not to be mentally ready then she is a scam.
If she wants a divorce let her be the one to divorce you and bear the sin that goes with it.
Talk to a lawyer and see what can apply as regards refunds.

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

Pattypatt:
I'm sure she has someone outside she wanted to marry, spend 3m on a wedding and you misbehave, you must vomit my money

U said the fact about the issue....She has someone else she wants to marry not that guy....

Randy100:
so tell the Op on how he can recover his money.

To start with i think the op is the architect of his problem. His naivity led him here, how can u consent to a marriage based on condition and not love. Op even up till now can not differentiate btw infactuation and love.
Love they say is blind, but marriage na eye opener. I dont need to be told the lady in question is btw the age range of 20-24 at most. I seriously would like to strike a balance here, i think it would be fair to hear the wife's side of the story. But seriously op how on earth do u expect to get reasonable advice from bachelor generals from NL, some of them still live with their parents or squating.
My candid advice to op is simply call ur wife and try to work things out, cos u need to fight for ur marriage. But if it does'nt work then try call a meeting btw the two family elders, now if it fails dont divorce her just send her back to her parents. las las, she go come beg when they bad mouth her.

Marriage suppose to a mutual agreement between the two party, i don't think you married her at gun point, so i won't urge u to divorce her ,though you have been trapped in a loveless marriage, continue to show her love and treat her kindly as you would treat yourself. As the head of the house continue to pray so that God can touched her, she may have change of heart, Never dealt treacherously with the wife of your youth.

IranianSea:

I don't know what the Bleep wrong with some dumb guys or men nowadays. The fact is that.. those guys who don't spend on girls, they like, love and get marry to. Take your time to check out carefully.. those who don't spend dime on girls, they love. No girl will ever love you dearly deep down her heart when you spend on her. I repeat check it carefully... A girl who don't take a thing from you really do love you and it's from the bottom of her heart. The moment you start to spend on girl, the love she has for you starts to depreciate till she totally have no love for you. Only kid still believe money tie any girl down. Got two girls on my neck now wants me for marriage. One, a graduate the other one is a 400L students. I spend Chichi on them, they are the one sends me card to call them. In fact the moment a girl tell me she love me, I start to hate her. I'm sorry ok

Women operate in the reverse different from what they tell you. Ubunja makes constant reference to this, always doing what a woman says you shouldn't do (which most often, turns out to be what they like). The best and loyal of ladies around me today are the ones I have deliberately not given a penny, and even when they do, I slut shame them and they get pissed. After a week, they are texting me again teasing me and I'll tell them to come around to suck my cóck.

The ones I spent on in my early years often treated me with disdain.

Women are crazy set of folks and the best way to be successful with them is to watch and act the way they do, not follow what they say.

For the OP requesting for advice, he shot himself in the foot forcing himself on a girl in her "hoe" phase. The problem is not that the lady is seeking adventure but the dude seem to be these type of men that have no experience with women but rush to spend money thinking it would get women to love them. Meanwhile, women would only love his money and not him. I wouldn't be surprised that the lady has a broke, lowlife boyfriend (who knows what's up with women) fûcking her on the low and manipulating her at will. Lol

Some marriage are like that at the early stage . Just give her space to adjust it will be alright .All she need is space.

The thing called marriage scares the hell out of me , don't know if all is same but pray God give you guys understand .

Listen man, you lack something which is flexibility. Money is not everything a woman needs , never have that mindset, and if you have friends who got that mindset changed then. Had a bit of flare to your marriage .Device another means , to tackle the whole issue .Women will always own the house , believe me , you just a bread winner (paying the bills, pareventure you have kids ,yours is to make your presence felt Incase they misbehave). Make her smile , give her more fun , because is so obvious you are too serious and women hate toooooo serious minded men (she sees you has a rigid person). Believe me bro , when you are flexible , caring and sweet her factory settings will gradually come back . Your wife she still a student , of course she trending ,or maybe she see so many trending , flexible guys on campus , has she dreaming she has that kind of man has a husband. Why did you force her initially, marriage is more of a me a mental stuff than finance . Na woman she be you can make her change her ways towards you by just been flexible. Dress well , go out , take her out ,know what she likes and use that to your advantage, in no distance time she will never let you go .....money is good , but flexibility and money is BAE .Be styled man !!!!

A consequence of marrying these young ladies that still want to live their flirty lives while considering their options....

Why would you allow her to make decision for the family and why would you force her to marry? Marriage is not about one but about two people coming together. if the both are avoiding each other, don't force any discussion with her for awhile, time will heal the hiccups between the 2

What do you mean woman own the house? A weaker man bend for the woman in the house but a captain controls the ship. You just a weak Ass man

Mairice125:
Listen man, you lack something which is flexibility. Money is not everything a woman needs , never have that mindset, and if you have friends who got that mindset changed then. Had a bit of flare to your marriage .Device another means , to tackle the whole issue .Women will always own the house , believe me , you just a bread winner (paying the bills, pareventure you have kids ,yours is to make your presence felt Incase they misbehave). Make her smile , give her more fun , because is so obvious you are too serious and women hate toooooo serious minded men (she sees you has a rigid person). Believe me bro , when you are flexible , caring and sweet her factory settings will gradually come back . Your wife she still a student , of course she trending ,or maybe she see so many trending , flexible guys on campus , has she dreaming she has that kind of man has a husband. Why did you force her initially, marriage is more of a me a mental stuff than finance . Na woman she be you can make her change her ways towards you by just been flexible. Dress well , go out , take her out ,know what she likes and use that to your advantage, in no distance time she will never let you go .....money is good , but flexibility and money is BAE .Be styled man !!!!

How can you refuse an IMPORTANT decision that your wife wants to make in the marriage? Guy, you sure say you well so? Why then is it important?

I laugh at you .What do you by “weak man”[the You think the Bible verse which says “women should be submissive to their husband works n this modern Generation? . Except you are dating or you married a dummy has a girlfriend/wife quote author=johnad3 post=86328821]
What do you mean woman own the house? A weaker man bend for the woman in the house but a captain controls the ship. You just a weak Ass man

[/quote]

First, for a man to see a lady through school, he must have loved her enough to invest in her. However, the lady must have seen his bossy nature but refuses to act because at that stage, the relationship is profiting her.

Secondly, for the guy to propose and want to be with her is enough sign of love. The lady on the other hand is a complete manipulator and smart. She knew from onset that she wasn't going to love the guy even in courtship. She only married the dude out of pity and considering that her parents liked the guy.

Thirdly, if your story is true about the lady. She hasn't shown/done anything to prove she wants the marriage. Women are go-getters and their instinct is top notch when it comes to protecting their marriage. If she's not willing to work things out then consider a divorce.

Fourth, a divorce should not be seen as a bad thing if it's the only option left after exhausting all options. Life is too precious, think about it.

Poster, kindly consider yourself a scholarship for her education and let her go. You were used...

hybrid77:
Pls i need a sincere advice here.

Im 3 months old in marriage and im so unhappy about the set up (my wife too)

My wife is a student and she tried everything to shift the marriage until easter this year but i refused due to many projects for the year. so we got married 3 months ago.

I took care of her bills since she got admission and we dated for 5 years

But she is so disrespectful and want to make important decisions in marriage which ive refused to allow.

Now, she claims i forced her into marriage and she is not mentally ready because i asked her to change to my family's name.

She has been good then bad then worse..And i think her words about forcing her into marriage has irreparably hurt me.

I spent over 3m of my cash to give her the wedding she wanted (Without any support from her family) against my wish for a 1m wedding.

And despite getting the big wedding she wants before consenting to marry last year, she claims she is not mentally ready and was forced into marriage.

she has repeated this over and over and its making me go crazy..in fact im tired already

Right now she wants more time to be a wife..but im beginning to feel there is a love issue here..I feel she does not love me as she always claims

Though weve settled but we dont talk as usual..we dont even want to hear from each other...

it seems i nolonger love her like i used to..And worst still, continuing with the marriage when she claims she was forced is degrading and disreputable.

My question is, at what point should anyone seriously consider a divorce?

That is what happens when some people always feel their lives will end if they do not marry a particular girl they consider waooo she is just too beautiful, young and may be taken by someone else especially now that she has admission let me do everything possible to make sure she is mine and then they begin to blow cash around to impress her and her family. Really unfortunate. You mean you courted for 5 solid years and you are just realising who the girl actually is? What manner of man are you? If you are a true Christian then no divorce o you don enter am u don enter.. why would you be with someone for five years and still don't know who she is or how she takes you until after you get married to the person. She was actually compelled by you and her family to get married to you. She preferred to keep you as a sponsor than husband. She is frustrated right now. I will return with suggestions tomorrow BC for now am feeling sleepy