₦airaland Forum

You have not said to us why you are sterile but I want to assure you that if you had sex with her( without protection), chances are that the child could be yours. In medicine, the rule is never say never.

Uh, you're wrong for not having told her about your issue. Anyone who will stay with you will stay. Anyhow sha, the deed has been done. Come out clean with her, tell her subtly about your predicament, do not fight with her. Let her know you didn't want to lose her and are truly sorry for keeping it away from her, if you think you can bear to be with her and the child till death splits you both without being mean to the unborn child then tell her you'd want her to still keep it and will marry her, if the reverse is the case, then let her go. Que sera, sera (what will be, will be). Ire o, BTW if you both end up splitting, be honest with the next woman. Mix up with people and date again, if woman go stay, she go stay and if she go dey loyal, she go dey loyal.

Omo, see gist o.

Sanchez01:
Whatever your reasons are for not telling her holds no water. You established the relationship on a lie and deceit and it is somewhat hilarious that you are not sure whether or not you are getting the same treatment right now.

While I don't want to authoritatively assert that she cheated, I feel your best chance right now is to wait after nine months and run a DNA test on the child, albeit secretly (for your sake and hers).

On a lighter note, you probably should get sewing threads of different colours, say five, tie them simultaneously around a long broom or a long nail. Rub it against the dirt or sand to make it look dirty a bit and cook up a story about some practice in your parent's lineage. Ask her to confirm you own the pregnancy over the jargon you made, but not without warning her of the grave consequences. Your truth will come out.

Last, last, you both are truly meant for each other.

Agba



you cheated on her with lies and she cheated on you with the Pussy, I was about contributing when I read the post of this Baba



no more comments

-This is a tough one. You haven't even fully get married she had scored a goal outside.Anyway for the sake of the unborn child don't tell her anything I won't want a situation were your Karmic punishment would be increased because she might go and flush the baby out. Just calm down and do a little CIA investigation on her phone and find out who the biological father is. Raise the child as yours but keep tap of the biological father....But if you know you can't take the heat jejeli tell her after delivery to return the child to her father...but consider lilyheaven advise below.

How do we start now

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

Fake news

You are good to be happy, said he!
Correct guy.
You see, life is too short.
Enjoy it

PrimadonnaO:
Oga, do you realize that if you had wedded her without disclosing your sterility, you’d have simply wasted your money, because such a marriage is automatically null and void?

People are really funny!

This is a legal issue. Failure to disclose this issue nullifies (voids) the marriage. You better tell her now. It will just be all you need to get her to voice out who the father of the child is. So the earlier you confirm from your doctor about the status of improvement so far made as per your sperm the better you will be so as to avoid bearing responsibility for a child that will later be claimed by someone after all your expenditures. If you fail to tell her now, you sure will regret it later. Save yourself the stress and call off the marriage till you are sure about your self and who the father of the child is.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

I'll advice you let her give birth and do a DNA test.

All these secrets will one day explode like an atomic bomb and it is the child that you with and has called you father with that will suffer.

If she cheated, she will suffer the consequences of her cheating actions alone. If she had been fateful, you would have taken 100% of the blame.

In fact, tell her now. It is better she doesn't bring that child into the world and you both go your separate ways.

You don't know the harm you are about to cause by keeping more secrets.

The child will suffer the most.

Both of you are already wicked and secretive. That child is innocent. Protect it.

You building ur foundation with ordinary sand. It wouldn't stand the test of time. The foundation is faulty. Do a DNA test before u start blaming her based on assumptions. Na wah oo

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Simple truth.. Tell her ur status and let her no u re not responsible for d pregnancy after DAT..if u wish to ..good luck and if u don't..goodluck..it is nt more a secret..ur cousin is aware..so let her no..cause ur cousin might or may not b a threat..

Bro not Naw..d future matter most..

Romangalactic:
It's not everytime the truth sets people free. I thought about this as well but there too may things at play.
I have always felt the treatment may not have positive results fast enough and will take many trials, so accepting responsibility for this child is a good way to save us the embarrassment of our families wondering why we have not had a child after marriage and it also ensures she won't be trying to get pregnant for the next three to four years, which gives me more time to sort myself out.

I know this is selfish of me, thanks a lot for your suggestions.

Once you start having your kids, preferential treatment will set in.

One day when you both are arguing, you will insult her with it. You better open up now.

Life sha

lilyheaven:
You are going through what my husband went through, he knew he was sterile but didn't tell me, I insisted we do semen count, he refused , after much pressure he went with me, the result came out negative.
Two weeks after, I realized I was pregnant, I was very happy, but when I told him about it, his character changed, he told me he wasn't responsible. Three days to our wedding we went for pregnancy test, lol! I was negative
I became more confused. Oga was just looking at me like one fool, because I have already informed church I was pregnant.
After our wedding, I went for scan, thank Goodness, there was fetal heart beat.
His mood changed again, I saw hell.
Finally, I gave birth to a baby boy, this boy looks like my husband vomited him ( resemble ), he even has the same birth mark as his.
That was how everything went back to normal. His love increased, he even gifted me a car.

Please, I think you should calm down, wait till delivery. Don't be quick to anger.
We have another baby now.

dis ur story get k leg..Neva d less.God sees d hart..

Save urself the heartbreak .. go for a semen analysis to know ur current fertility status , then go for a prenatal DNA test if u still want to marry her with the pregnancy or wait till the baby comes and do a post natal DNA test before getting married to her , love turns to hate rapidly brother , be wise and patient

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

Olodo. Being sterile without a biological child is not the end of the world. You should have told the woman...

But now you're about to cement conjugal ties to a hardcore deceiver, someone who would poison you to death within a hearbeat with nary a twinge of their conscience....

Congratulations, senior mugu

The worst thing you can do is tell her the truth. I’d say delay the wedding until the baby is here, then run a paternity test.

Perhaps your cousin is betraying u and pretends to hate ur wife while they are haza haza Hama haza haahaa

Sanchez01:
On what grounds? Lol.

she's right. dunno why you're laughing. It's a ground for annulment of the marriage. she needn't seek a divorce, why ? he deliberately tricked her into the marriage. Knowing he cannot consummate the marriage.

As a married man, this is the best advice I have for you. Do not confront her. You have no proof she cheated. Who told you that you are sterile? The Nigerian healthcare system? We know how unreliable they are.

Here's the thing. You may break up with her. But wait. Go ahead with the wedding. After she gives birth, run a DNA test. If the child is not yours then you can confront her. That way, you can keep the secret of your sterility hidden. It may not remain hidden much longer though, you've already informed your cousin.

Don't make the mistake of chasing her out now. That child may actually be yours.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

PLS KEEP UR ORDER STRAIGHT. DO U KNOW GOD PERSONALLY? WHO IS ENDOCRINOLOGIST TO BE EMPHATIC. PLS DONT SUSPECT HER EITHER TO HV CHEATED ON U. THERE IS NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO. BETWEEN UR LAST STERILE RESULT AND NOW, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN MY BROTHER. NO MATTER HOW BAD UR CONDITION WAS. LET THE ALMIGHTY REIGN,PLS. DON'T HURT HER NOR URSELF.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

I have learnt one thing in life it is: "Dont assume that you can hold pain for long instead go treat yourself and get the pressure off."

You have to confront her and make sure you record every conversation with her so you could replay it later to understand her responses.

By the time you confront her, you do not have to beat around the bush; tell her plainly that you are sterile and do not have the capability to father a child. Keep your cool and hear her talk.

She will definitely cry, lie, walk out of you or say the truth. Whatever her reaction is, brother, you wouldn't have to take the situation as you are taking it. She will feel guilt but you will feel relief.

I could help you if you really need my help.

We all have our dirty underwear we don't want others to see. It ain't easy but you need to tell her about the ailment and seek her forgiveness and she needs to seek yours too. Forgive each hold on to your relationship if you both can and move forward. Let God be the rock of your relationship.

Romangalactic:
I'll try to keep my predicament short. I registered a new account for this purpose but I'm sure many of you will understand that sterility is not something to be announced which is exactly how I got myself in this situation. I am 35 and engaged to a beautiful woman who completes me in every way. As much as it hurts me to say this, I have not been totally honest with her about everything.
Just yesterday while we were home together, she told me that she is pregnant . I asked her how sure she is, she said she had done the pee test and that she knows how she is feeling. The issue here is that I am sterile but I have not told her this before so it is impossible that I am responsible.

Please before anyone tells me I deserve this for not opening up to her, I have been undergoing treatment secretly and they say I will be able to father children when it's done so of course, I am hopeful and have not bothered to inform her about any of this. I can't stand losing her for any reason. My issue right now is that I asked my endocrinologist this morning if it's possible that the treatment is already working and he said we have not gone far enough to see any results yet. This means I am definitely not the father of the child she is carrying.

Only one other person in this world knows about my health challenge and that is my cousin. I told him and he told me to break up with my fiancée, someone I have already done introduction with and families are involved. I told him I cannot and that he must take the secret to the grave, he thinks I am making the biggest mistake of my life.
Well I told him my plan is to accept the pregnancy and continue to make her think I don't know she cheated on me. I am doing this with the hope that after we get married, my treatment will be completed and everything will be back to normal. But at the same time, I still can't shake the feeling that I am about to marry someone who cheated and is passing off another man's child as mine, I feel cheated and it hurts.

Can anyone else please tell me what to do about this situation I have found myself? Please I just need to hear from other people besides my cousin. Another thing, he has never really liked my fiancée so I feel that also may be his motivation.
I need neutral opinions please

fof1:
PLS KEEP UR ORDER STRAIGHT. DO U KNOW GOD PERSONALLY? WHO IS ENDOCRINOLOGIST TO BE EMPHATIC. PLS DONT SUSPECT HER EITHER TO HV CHEATED ON U. THERE IS NOTHING GOD CANNOT DO. BETWEEN UR LAST STERILE RESULT AND NOW, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN MY BROTHER. NO MATTER HOW BAD UR CONDITION WAS. LET THE ALMIGHTY REIGN,PLS. DON'T HURT HER NOR URSELF.

Taaaaaaaa


He is sterile.
God can change any situation.

But yet, she could have cheated with the cousin or maybe someone else.


Talk to me original poster if you need a direct help.

EVERYBODY SAYING GOD CAN CHANGE EVERY SITUATION... AND I'M WONDERING IF THEY'VE ELECTED A NEW GOD.

Romangalactic

1. Don't reveal the secret
2. Just pay the bride price/traditional.No white or court marriage yet.
3. Wait till she out to bed
4. Run a secret DNA test.
Find your truth then confront her.


At this point,you decide if you want to continue if the child isn't yours.But if I were in your shoes I will forgive and continue with her,knowing fully well of my own deceit.

Bro.... how on earth do you know you are sterile? Don't be too trusting of these specialists. If you are sterile.... then he must give reason. Then find out if it is reversible under those circumstances... what are the treatments and how long it takes. Google is your friend. Can your fiancee be cheating? Possible. What if she is not and you eventually find out the pregnancy is yours?.. do you really think you can explain to a woman scorned? Why does your cousin not like her?... maybe he knows more about women than you do? ...that you jumped to her because she is pretty? Nothing at this point is for sure. I would advise you keep your secret to yourself.... avoid abortion... and get a DNA test after birth. Only then would the truths come out....who is/is not a cheater.... who is the father... who is not sterile... who is a liar.

Thewriter2018:
I have learnt one thing in life it is: "Dont assume that you can hold pain for long instead go treat yourself and get the pressure off."

You have to confront her and make sure you record every conversation with her so you could replay it later to understand her responses.

By the time you confront her, you do not have to beat around the bush; tell her plainly that you are sterile and do not have the capability to father a child. Keep your cool and hear her talk.

She will definitely cry, lie, walk out of you or say the truth. Whatever her reaction is, brother, you wouldn't have to take the situation as you are taking it. She will feel guilt but you will feel relief.

I could help you if you really need my help.

Oga what if that child is his? See if he confronts her and she goes with the baby only to find out she is innocent what then happens?If I am the father of the girl he will never have access to that baby again.

Best is to be calm first until the child is born and DNA conducted.

PrimadonnaO:
Oga, do you realize that if you had wedded her without disclosing your sterility, you’d have simply wasted your money, because such a marriage is automatically null and void?

People are really funny!

Not necessarily.

An anullment such as I think you are referring to is for non consumation ( inability to have sex) not for sterility.