My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup - Family (4)

My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 1:18am On Feb 06, 2020

bukatyne:
You can't understand more than your exposure.

You got allot to learn in life.. change your life ideology or it will come back to hurt you someday.

9 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Mathiasa(m): 4:52am On Feb 06, 2020

Go and check yourself woman. Becos of food and u are here writing rubbish.

7 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by lordizak(m): 5:09am On Feb 06, 2020*

From your story, there is every indication that you are a bad woman. You are just coming to the life on this man, yet you are dictating to hime how much the others that have been there all this life should spend in his house. Food na gold? I am 29 and I hate it, when I have food and have no one to share it.
My sister in-law is 17yrs older than myself, but I go to her fridge, pot and room... I definitely know my boundary without her having to spell it out to me.
You don't want to tell yourself the fact, you are a terrible human being. I hope none of your family member will need your help and you will still get the same husband of yours to consider your own family member.
It is true the house rent and the food is from your sweat and your husband's sweat, but that is life, your children will spend time with that their uncle, he might turn out from out of the blue and become the biggest star in the family by then you'll be regretting all this rubbish you are doing.
In my opinion, your husband is a very weak man. He let you to start having control over him even before marrying you. Do you have the faintest idea how much price family pays for us to go far in life? How much sweat of the young man that has helped your so called weak husband?
Please stop treating food like gold cuz it is no, of all the terrible things you will do in life, let it never be said that you were holding food from the needy ones, if worse comes to worst your husband should be selling him food stuffs and money. He can talk to him as his brother and let you the wicked wife remain in the house. if I was your brother-in-law I will never spend an hour with you people in the house, or if I was your husband I'll rent a place for my brother and spend a day or two with him at times.

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by blank(f): 6:26am On Feb 06, 2020

Normally I would have said you're being nitpicky but I have learnt not to dismiss people's hurt feelings.

Your BIL might feel very free and comfortable in your house and with you so he doesn't see it as a bug deal. You may want to bring it up in a joking kind of way like you all are getting to know each other, living together etc, you would like to be serving him his meals as you feel it's somehow for him to be dishing it himself/cooking. Make it seem like it's some sort of honour.

As for the other house chores, a lot of Nigerian men are wired to see it as the wife's duties, so that may take a lot of getting used to if he will even do them at all.

Greetings has caused people a lot of grief but I have no advice as I am usually guilty of forgetting to greet (cos I'm always distracted).

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by partnerbizn4(m): 7:08am On Feb 06, 2020

Charleys:
You are still another girlfriend to his brother and when your time comes you will leave.

Your husband needs to talk to him and tell him that you are a different person that you are not his other girlfriends that he brings to the house, maybe he still has that mentality.

I stayed in my brother's house for two years I no even behave like this. I dey look for how to impress make madam no vex influence brother (through sex) make him comot me for house

I saw ladies come and go but when this particular one came no be person tell me to behave. Now they're married. If I want to go stay there for two weeks they'll still beg me not to go home because my record there no one has broken. Not even her relatives.

So what was that you were doing?

Sweeping? cooking? hailing and praising the woman?

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by NoToPile: 7:27am On Feb 06, 2020

How hard is it for inlaws to avoid extended visits to a new couple.

Everybody should stay in their parents house.

3 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 7:45am On Feb 06, 2020*

olabrinks:
What you’re complaining about is really not a big deal. You’ll realise that marriage comes with much bigger problems along the line, this one is so inconsequential.
‘ he dips his hand inside my pot of food’
‘ I don’t like him entering my kitchen’
‘ he wants me to greet him first’

Humble yourself my darling. He is a part of your family, as long as he is not being totally disrespectful, you need to tolerate peoples personalities at least for peace to reign. If you’re cooking for everyone in the house, is it a necessity for him to ask you before he serves himself? Why do you want your brother in law to feel like a complete stranger in your house? You’re just creating unmeasurable headache for yourself.

These things are a big deal to her, why she opened the thread. OP is who may feel like a complete stranger in her own home due to d BIL. No need discounting her feelings

ireneidiva:
Nobody is dragging the ownership of the grown man. He is now starting up his own nuclear family which comprises of him, his wife and kids. So any other person is a visitor to that home. It is not his house. It is the husband and wife's home.

My thoughts exactly. She's tried for accomodating his ways from prior to the marriage. No wrong in her attempting to fix the situation nw as it's bothering her this much

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by crackkhaus: 7:56am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
its not an assertion, he has sisters who cook in the house n everyone is being served once and for all. nobody does anything without the consent of their sister . so I didn't make that up

Lol, what an unlucky guy, your BIL.

You are commander-in-chief in your home with the intention of restricting his food intake, and his sister is commander-in-chief in his father's house already restricting his food intake for years.
Very unlucky guy indeed... all he just wants to do is eat freely. cheesy

Kai... See wetin ordinary food dey cause for some people. I blame Nigerian government for this angry

After that your BIL don blow and he hosts a party, he will probably look for a way to share puff-puff and chin-chin specifically for you and his sisters as repayment for the years of nutritional maltreatment while everyone else will be eating pounded yam and hot afang soup with assorted meat.

7 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 8:01am On Feb 06, 2020

NoToPile:
How hard is it for inlaws to avoid extended visits to a new couple.

Everybody should stay in their parents house.

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by AmaHopeOn: 8:03am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
Sorry that there then why is he doing it in my place here

Madam, you really do not want peace. And the way you talk about your brother in law is condescending and sound like you are very disrespectful. (Respect is two sided. Age, status is not what makes you deserving of respect, but how you treat others, you get it back. It is reciprocative)

A one room flat is really not a place to accommodate family, expecially when you are newly married. But hey, things happen, there could be a situation that warrants one.

All of the things you complained about, are inconsequential to any man trying to provide for the family, only come home and be listening to, he is dipping hand in my pot, he spoilt my spoon, he wants me to greet him first. Like seriously.

Well youve been a hell of a pretender, and youv just trapped a good man. Even with you narrating what happened, you are all shades of wrong. If we ask your brother in law of his side, plenty of your unaccomodating attitude will scorn.

You came for validation. Aunty, go an turn a new leave and stop whining about food, spoon and waiting for greetings. You should turn him to houseboy too, cos he is staying with you.

Do that thing in your mind. This story you posted here won't make your husband be on your side. Concort more lies and paint him bad. Get him out of your house and your pot. So you can atleast have the peace you seek. That is the only solution.

14 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by sonofanarchy(m): 8:13am On Feb 06, 2020

be nice to him, suprise him with gift if possible take him out that way you can tell him in a playful way

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Femsyn(m): 8:47am On Feb 06, 2020

We don't have to always have an opinion on every topic. Topics I don't understand fully or have an experience in, I don't comment.

This is strictly for married folks who have had to deal with this issue at one point or another. Please if you're unmarried or haven't experienced what the OP is saying as a married person, please flee from this discuss, so you don't confuse people.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by greatme2good(f): 8:58am On Feb 06, 2020

Don't you have freezer? If it's soup, share them into smaller quantities and keep in the freezer so anyone can take one when they are hungry to avoid the feeling he's dishing food by himself.
You can do same with stew, then if it's rice you can actually devise a means of taking care of it. You can lock the freezer ( that's if you are the mean type) but then you can politely speak to him without being rude or kuku let it slide.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by donbenz(m): 10:24am On Feb 06, 2020

and so what? angry

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Flier: 10:26am On Feb 06, 2020

laborious:
Be tolerant don't make me abuse you ooo

Its very obvious she’s not a good wife
She doesn’t know how they were brought up and now she want to take him away from his brothers
I wonder why she couldn’t cook and serve them before they started searching the kitchen for food

3 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 10:28am On Feb 06, 2020

Madam chop ur husband but when problem starts remember to stay alone.
I couldn't even read past me and my husband rubbish.

I knew my family before knowing you, so because I know you my family is not welcomed in my house.

Sisi men don dey plenty for town for Toto wet dem don dey price for market

3 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by hush15: 10:28am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

Too long but which pot of soup?

Is it this pot of soup or that pot of soup?

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by ikwedim(m): 10:28am On Feb 06, 2020

Na dem oooo. She don d gather things to make the two brothers hate themselves. Fear women oooo. I pass through the same but thank God today, she d respect me

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Mariangeles(f): 10:29am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

The bolded turned out to be true.
Why were you not honest from the start?
You pretended so you could complete your mission.
You said it yourself that you hate bottling up issues inside, but you bottle up when it's not convenient for you to say your mind right?

3 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Neoteny(m): 10:29am On Feb 06, 2020

Cook some soup in a small pot, poison it, and wait....

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by olaarie(m): 10:31am On Feb 06, 2020

This long story because of pot of soup?

Shallow minded wife.. Mtchew

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

3 Likes

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Scaryface: 10:32am On Feb 06, 2020

1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......

Guy na only you talk sense sinceeeeee. its such a small issue asin. sometin dt can easily be overlooked.

1 Like

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by okine4real: 10:32am On Feb 06, 2020

Hello sister, I am a man as well. I have being in your own shoes also, but I really can't explain certain things here. But I will put mine mail address here send me your phone no and I will explain certain this to you. They are certain precursion you have to take, otherwise your marriage will be messed up. When I mean messed up it will be messed up. I have being able to ssurvive this for more than 8 years now and i have 3 beautiful kids. I will like to give you some heads up. If you are not careful all the husbands family will be against you. Thread carefully. Okine4real@yahoo.com

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Sarah20A(f): 10:33am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
like I said before I spent the yuletide season in their family house and never will he do that. i m very positive about that . how comes he is doing this now??

this is still happening because you kept quiet when you were supposed to speak out

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by joyandfaith: 10:33am On Feb 06, 2020

Iwantpeace:
I Need Advice About My Brother Inlaw Attitude

Hello good morning Nairalanders. I have been a guest and a member of this forum for quite some time now. I have equally seen and learnt from the inputs of many issues brought here especially family one. So I decided to create this new account.

I am a new married woman, my marriage is barely 3 months. Before we got married I and my husband agreed that visitors will not stay longer than 2 weeks in our home. Although he begged me that his immediate younger brother whom has been staying with him will stay for a while or comes to stay with us anytime he is on holidays.

I reluctantly agreed just for peace to reign. He shuttles between our home and my SIL homes for now. To cut the long story short, prior to when we got married that I go visit my then fiancé, anytime I cook this guy is fond of dipping his hands into my pot of soup or food without asking me and this is what I am not comfortable with and I really don't like it. I have sister in law too and I have sisters too anytime I go visiting I don't dip my hands into their pot of food without their consent I see it as something disrespectful.

Again, I couldn't talk then because I feel he may say 'ha dem never marry her she dun de get attitude', now he's continued the same attitude. Yesterday, I made food for the house, dished his own, he ate and slept off when he woke up late in the night he went to my pot again and spoilt my dishing spoon in the process. meanwhile I have not dished out my husband's meal.

Coincidentally, my husband came in from work at that moment and I was going to the kitchen to serve him his meal when I saw him doing what I don't like. When he saw me he said 'this spoon dun spoil '. I kept quiet. I later discussed with my husband, told him that I am not happy with the way his brother is entering my kitchen anyhow n because I am someone that don't like keeping things in my mind I like saying it out to free myself. When I told my husband he said we will talk in the morning.

This morning, the first thing this brother in law of mine was to go straight to the kitchen to look for something to eat. This is someone that will eat and keep the dishes, whenever he is around I don't stay in the living room anymore, my room and my phone is my companion because we stay in a one bedroom flat for now. He's giving me this attitude of it's my brother's house so I can do as I please, when he comes back he expects me to greet him first. I am not saying he cannot stay but my main issue is that he is tempering with my kitchen and trying to flex muscles with me.

Pls how do I handle this issue with my husband amicably because up till now he hasn't said anything and it's bothering me?

Mistake made during courtship
Now just tell him Br James i do not like how you used to dip hands in soup. It has to stop.
Wait for his response. If he wants to turn to fight, stop cooking until your husnand resolves it.

Would you not asking him to stop smoking marijuana in your house if he is doing that?

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bilulu(m): 10:34am On Feb 06, 2020

1StopRudeness:
Mehn these are shallow, infinitesimal issues I personally feel if u ain’t the the classic “me and my husband alone kinda woman” this isn’t worth loosing ur peace over let alone creating a thread to rant

He went to the kitchen he ddnt tell me, ordinary food, did he eat everything and not leave any for u and ur husband??

he put the spoon somehow, the spoon is bend, it’s broken..... Spoon... as in ordinary 100naira spoon!!!

He wants me to greet him first..did he say so??...oh please! This is the lamest one...
what’s the big deal about saying hello and chatting when u see a person.

see, don’t get me wrong, I know we have different tolerance and organizing style as humans...and sometimes it sort of bothers some people more than normal when outsiders invade their space.....but these issues are so unimportant people will just say u are not accommodating at the end of the day.....

Madam let it go....a little accommodating spirit will make the issues u raised unimportant to you

Unless it’s really not about the spoons and pot of soup...if it’s probably because the guy isn’t allowing u moan as loud as u want or feel free in ur house with short skimpy clothes...just tell ur husband... I trust my guy.......

You can imagine what a lady is complaining of, that your brother in law serves himself in your house. Will she complain same anytime her brother visits? Na this kind girl you go marry and will turn your eyes away from ur family. Imagine telling the guy they wont be having visitors (relatives) around. I bet her husband is in for a long thing. And she even have the animal boldness to come showcase her witchcraft character online. I pray your brother's wife treat ur family same. God forbid such wife

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nicoddemus(m): 10:35am On Feb 06, 2020

Too uptight for my liking. Ordinary food huh

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by bilulu(m): 10:36am On Feb 06, 2020

Flier:
Its very obvious she’s not a good wife
She doesn’t know how they were brought up and now she want to take him away from his brothers
I wonder why she couldn’t cook and serve them before they started searching the kitchen for food

Don't mind her, her type of ladies re even supporting her. God forbid such evil wives

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by suko2003: 10:37am On Feb 06, 2020

You better be careful and not to send yourself out of your marriage, madam food is nothing and don't make it look like a big deal. My younger brother cook for us whenever he comes around and I am also married, All I see is here is you want to rule your home

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Nobody: 10:38am On Feb 06, 2020

If you visit my elder sister and you can't go to the kitchen and dish your food yourself after she finished cooking, you will go hungry. She said because you are all my son's and daughters being you in-law or her blood. Her children dish their food themselves. God bless her for us.

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Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by xtianchris(m): 10:39am On Feb 06, 2020

Madam don’t like that guy coming around . Simple truth . What’s there after cooking dish his food and tell him the remaining is for you and your husband ....
Newly married women don’t like their in-laws coming around .What if he was your younger brother does he wait for you to come home or cal you on phone to take permission to eat. Like someone said earlier Get a work and stop sitting at home monitoring when he will dip his hand in your pot soup

Re: My Brother-In-Law Dips His Hands Inside My Pot Of Soup by Restructure9ja(m): 10:39am On Feb 06, 2020

First of all...your brother in-law is wrong in what he's doing...but it is an attitude he picked up b4 u became the woman of the house so the changes might be difficult for him for now.
However, your husband has to take responsibility to talk to his brother or you can start serving food and then lock up the pot in your kitchen cabinet if theres one in order to pass the message to him indirectly cuz since you ve told your husband abt it, it wont be wise for u to confront your inlaw urself...just give ur husband the time to do so.
But find an alternative like locking up the pot in the cabinet or your room so that the boy will get the message but serve his food well o.
Remember that it will stare up some resentment in him towards you but dont let it bother you cuz even if his family hears it...they wont be happy with him. It is wrong for any extended body to enter a woman's pot.

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