₦airaland Forum

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired m to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

I can't reconcile leaving my lovely family fr sexual adventure. Bro it doesn't worth it. U need deliverance.

What you are about to do is very wrong, a good friend won't advice you to go ahead with your evil plan, remember marriage is for better for worse, do you discuss this issue with her during courtship, if no, then I blame you for that, if yes, then think of what she told you, where you comfortable with that, then remind her of what she said that marriage vows should not be broken, please rethink and stop that now, your wife won't be happy you are cheating on her, by the way sex is not everything in a marriage, some over do and you know the end result.

Hmmmm, please you lots should try and do more of advising than bashing. When someone is seeking for an advice it means he's in a dilemma.

Having said that, I'll advice u stick to ur wife who has been there for you all these years. That new babe is probably just enjoying the moment with you, whatever both of you feel for each other is temporal and all these paparazzi will soon fade away.
Trust me, it'll on end in heart break and you'd have lost a lot by then. You won't want to have your heart broken by this lady after having a broken home, an embittered wife and children who probably won't forgive you for leaving them and their mum for a lady you meet at work.

Think.

vanvickie:
Hmmmm, please you lots should try and do more of advising than bashing. When someone is seeking for an advice it means he's in a dilemma.

Having said that, I'll advice u stick to ur wife who has been there for you all these years. That new babe is probably just enjoying the moment with you, whatever both of you feel for each other is temporal and all these paparazzi will soon fade away.
Trust me, it'll on end in heart break and you'd have lost a lot by then. You won't want to have your heart broken by this lady after having a broken home, an embittered wife and children who probably won't forgive you for leaving them and their mum for a lady you meet at work.

Think.

True talk, nice one.

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

and you claim to love your wife.... Onye aru ala
That your girlfriend will be the death of you.

I understand how you feel bro but, trust me you're doing a wrong thing...

You have not really mention anything bad about your wife expect the decline in sex drive which i believe is something you guys can really work on most especially you. Yes! i mean you. your inability to makes things work was not there because of your so call girlfriend. Please cut the hell relationship off and focuses on your wife make her happy, take out for dinner,cinemas, marriage seminars etc i bet you she will be the one begging for sex.

I see devil trying to destroy your home with this called your sex drive. Wake up bro and stop be childish..

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

My elder sister married at 21 and her hubby was 22 years. They've been married for 29years now. So marrying at that age doesn't make the story fake. Maybe they also had difficulties conceiving. Things happen.

donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

A sage has spoken

donstan18:
We so much cherish and value new things more than old ones thinking they are the best, forgetting that the new ones will still turn old.

Bruv, don't ever leave your good wife for a side chick because of sex. Sex is something any lady can offer, but not all ladies possesses wifely attributes.

Kindly keep your wife and do whatever that will bring you sexual happiness in a reasonable way without hurting your wife and family.

Don't mind him. When the side chick comes now. He will find out she have only sex to offer. Something that won't last up to 30mins. After that she's useless. These are the kind of men disgracing us up and down

drmikeadams:
. Na so una prick go dey cause problems for una. So u go impregnate am,come marry am later ,,,begin create problems for ur kids

Na so e dey start. The children go get rivals then unnecessary enmity go start

My landlord of 76 years of age warned me - never marry two wives. He spoke from experience

Mr man ,you need Jesus.

Tell her disregard for your sexual needs is making someone else attractive to you.

Wat ever suit him

TheGoodJoe:
How can you give such dirty advice?

He can not have it both ways. papaejima20199 should be a man and face the consequences of his actions. The truth has its way of coming out and I tell you it will be far worse.

I have seen wonderful people that grew from broken homes. The cheating will cause him to act improper no matter how he lies and pretends.

Anyone not ready to keep and open communication with his partner is not ready for a relationship, let alone a marriage.

APCNig:
Girlfriends are just there to put spice into your sex life, nothing more. Just fucck for some months and move on to the next victim. Despite the fact that adultery is bad, very very bad, but the reality of life is that men get bored of their wives and want to spice up their sex drive once in a while, that is what side chick are there for. Never ever marry a side chick. If you do the mistake of marrying her, after few years, you will get tired of her and look for another girl to spice up your sexual appeal. A side chick should remain a side chick until you are do ne with her and move to the next.

Sad same with women ,they also get bored with one particular D...K ,but the money and the Comfort keeps them glued.they also want to spice up their sex life once in a while.thats why when the money finish they jappa ,moveing on to spice up their sex life and get the good life.so never be fooled that is only a man that get bored,it swings both ways

Firstcitizen:
Na so e dey start. The children go get rivals then unnecessary enmity go start

. I swear. I be think say men dis generation no. go dey complicate issues like our fathers,,but d reverse is becoming d case

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

You are smart.. My type of woman.. Chop kiss.

yvelchstores:
Stupid fake story. U supposedly married at 24 and your wife at 20. Then you have twins, age 1.
If u have been childless for 11 years, one year is too quick to kill all your joy from father hood to embrace cheating.

I am suspecting nl now hires ppl to post captivating but FAKE stories cos the kind of stories I see these days, are playing with my intelligence.

You are smart.. My type of woman.. Chop kiss.

Sexual life is very important in every marriage...he really needs to talk to the wife on what he’s going through and they should fix it together

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

This is what happens when boys get married, obviously you got married at 24 while your wife was 20 years old.
Last last you will regret either you marry 2 wives or you pursue one, I just sorry for your old age.

Cos of SEX Pls after sex , what will d side chick offer again After dropping a diamond for stone I think your eyes will open ...

WAYOUT : Take her out , buy her special gift that will turn you on " sexy lingerie " , make her feel special anytime you wanna make love . , watch porn together
Ladies are moved with what they hear if na lie or truth e no concern them .

Dont be a stewpid fada ooooo , woman dt fit gimme twins will enjoy the rest of her life

nwaimoroseyaho:
You have been with your wife for 12years with children. A great wife according to you but no adventure and boring sex life.

You equally have a girlfriend, less than a year relationship with great sex and adventure.
But you want to leave your wife with all the good qualities and joint your girlfriend.

What other qualities did you mention about this your girlfriend apart from sex.

When your eyes fully open, I pray it will not be too late.

the girl is probably also using the guy to satisfy her sex starved pussy

Two people desperately in need of sex jam each other

Keep doing your thing codedly if e dey sweet you but don't leave your wife for the sake of the children.

Just talk to her about your feelings...divorcing your wife for a 22yrs Lady ain't the best.. Something might be the reason for her cold attitude towards loving making...And secondly put it in prayer,they is nothing the Good lord cannot handle


#zylan7

Tell your wife to join extraordinary mum and single ladies group on Facebook and also their sex class

this is what You get when you let ur dick control ur Brain and life, ur wife is making soo many sacrifices for you and ur kids ur are talking trash. if you eventually marry the soo called new girl at some point sex will become boring again then u leave that one again to another one. keep letting ur Village people and ur dick control ur life. you will only receive sense when You have lost all you have built with ur wife all this years

if u ar a Muslim.. y not marry ur girlfriend instead of committing adultery...... and how sure are u dat wen u marry her she will not end up like ur wife Wen u guys start having kids

The feeling you have is common with most married couple and especially after child birth.

After child birth, the is alot of stress involved for women and their maternal instinct kicks in, making them less desiring of sex.

Sometimes helping out and playing with the kids with the wife involved and aware brings her drive back to speed. Also encourage her by holding at night and telling her those sweet words you used to say in the early period

Also be very aware that The devil is in every guise of sin to destroy you and ruin your destiny through sex, and so pls also be conscious of this :
Adultery opens a big gateway for the devil to attack your family and beautiful innocent kids.

If you love your kids enough, pls place them above your sexual desires.

I will also encourage you to avoid watching pornography and other such material as this fuels the fire of infidelity and adultery, rather pick up a Christian material or bible and take time to pray to God about your weakness.

God always provides strength when we ask of him.

Lastly, please repent of this sin in prayer and ask God for his forgiveness as you make conscious efforts to correct your ways to please God.
The blood of Jesus washes away all sins.

I wish you success in your challenge as you overcome your desires in Jesus holy name
Amen

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

If you love your wife you would go at any length to rekindle the sex flame.

If I knew your wife, I would advise her to leave you, your very ungrateful, because of sex? Sex?
1 hr enjoyment, your wife has stayed with you for 12 years, tolerated your excesses, given you children, and you want to leave her because of sex. Guy u funny die, lmaoooo.
That side chick will dump you like hot potato when the going gets tough.
My advise is to communicate more with your wife, tell her what is missing in the marriage, read more books, and also pray you will see a tremendous improvement.
I used to tell women dont be too nice to these men, they hardly misbehave to a woman that get werey for head, ur wife is soooooo nice that's why. Lmaooo

They are calling you. please don't pick their calls. Respect yourself and fear God.

Wot do u mean? I be bn with me wife going to 10yrs n no fling....what's ur point exactly?

Foodqueen:
You've been with your wife for 12yrs and your kids are 1.
Two years ago, u started having fling
I don't understand, I really don't

Was it that you waited for 11yrs or what
Address the main issue gan-gan.