My dear, with time he will change. Please don't stop praying.
Engage him with more conversation and activities, my dad do come home 1am, 2am when we were still young, but today before 8pm he will b at home. Most men who go to bear palour are found of these habit, because u can't b in another man's house till 12am.
Time, environment and friends will play a major role in changing him for better.... God bless ur family

Why not tell him to invite his friends over and provide yafun yafun beer. Ur husband is about to be depressed too; y’all need to see a counselor. tEl m say, I said e no kill person, na job e never get yet

magkhan:
OP,

You don't know the internal battles he is facing as an unemployed person/father/husband. Allow him unwind as he see fit. He is an adult. You said he is caring, so let him be please.

Probably when he get's the job it might reduce.

Use the alone time to relax for the next day hustle.

Be at peace.

See a lady here being as reasonable as guys ought to be and some dude is calling the man very very irresponsible.

Besides, the woman never said he cheats as many are inferring but on the contrary he's "nice and caring". And who says the ones that stay home don't cheat?


I have a friend whose wife complains about same and like the OP's hobby, no job for now. She didn't tell me; he did and when I asked him why he does so and where he hangs around..he said a few of them night crawlers just sit around the neighborhood and gist till it's late and go home, no biggie. She also contributes to some extent.

I begged him to reduce the hours outside because we were childhood friends and lived together till we all got married and i know we didn't keep late nights.

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view

men are like that we love to hang out, that where the business is struck and new jobs found via contacts not sitting at home ....last year i made around Bleep millions via contacts i meet socialising at a top lounge ...he will stop ober time .....i hope he not a womansier sga

Just as I expected,he is jobless. Unless on weekends,no career man or professional or an average employee in Nigeria will go out daily only to return in the midnight. When you have to get up by 4am or less and had to leave by 5am or less?

Those of you supporting him, continue until he is arrested by police in the name of raiding. This days they raid, take your phone and send you to a different dungeon. Sometimes they even place gun on your chest and tag you thief. A man is not working, can't he look for something to engage himself? Are there no menial jobs? All I see is a lazy man who doesn't want the kids to know that he is lazy. Madam, press ignore button, stop talking to him about late night. Make it a habit to ignore. With time he will come to his senses. Why wouldn't he be lazy? You are providing for the family, he feels he has nothing to worry about. Assuming he knows you are jobless and there is no hope, I bet you he will be very busy searching for how to feed you guys.

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders, I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.
He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.
The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.
Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.
Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.
Please move to front page for wider view

From what I've noticed among friends and colleagues, night crawlers seldom change, they prefer being nocturnal. I know someone who would never lift a finger to work until 5-6PM; and will stay till 10PM. Thereafter, he hits the bar to wind down and closes with the bartender.

However, the difference here is that he doesn't have a job yet. Well, making out with friends could be giving him some relief of not having a job while he keeps searching...but watch it!

Its well.

omo ayee

Make sure he's not hanging out with wrong people.

a wife like d Op are difficult/ hardly to meet/find.God bless the womb dat gave birth to u.Sorrow is not ur portion. A jobless man that roam hang out till 1.00Am is a unserious fellow.Even if dey employ him tomorrow , he'll catwalk the street. Only God can touch his heart sha.Tell him Amotekun,Nig Police,kidnappers,cultist dey town

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

You sound like cool headed woman

Do you give him the attention he deserves?
And again he might not be comfortable being seen around the house maybe because the neighbours may look at him as a house husband.

Continue talking to him and also pray along side with him

There's nothing God cannot do

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12pm late? I remember back in naija, on groove nights na till dawn, l had a job back then though. That issue is a lifestyle and it will take drastic change to make him stop. Me I moved out.

RAMIREZ THE NIGHTCRAWLER

I would comment here
Brb

EVILFOREST:

U are not FAR from the TRUTH.
A MAN rarely runs away from an INTELLIGENT DISCUSSION.
Don't be shocked to hear that she competes with the same HUSBAND for T. V. REMOTE

Intelligent discussion such as bet9ja odds and football scores?
Only on Nairaland are all the men intelligent yet intellectually empty when pushed.
Just check the average thread some create and the illogical reasoning behind it and you will be shocked.

The husband is so intelligent that he is jobless and still keep late nights.

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

Be careful of the statements, you don't know maybe he is irresponsible or just embarrassed of depending on his wife, since he has no job to provide for his family and finds solace in staying out late than face her.

There are many ways to kill a rat.
Only you know the answers to ur problem.
Ignor him. When ever he comes home late, welcome him very well. Don't even bring issues up. Just pretend that all is well. Just be praying for him. Only him go get sense by him self swrs

magkhan:
OP,

You don't know the internal battles he is facing as an unemployed person/father/husband. Allow him unwind as he see fit. He is an adult. You said he is caring, so let him be please.

Probably when he get's the job it might reduce.

Use the alone time to relax for the next day hustle.

Be at peace.

wise words...

magkhan:
OP,

You don't know the internal battles he is facing as an unemployed person/father/husband. Allow him unwind as he see fit. He is an adult. You said he is caring, so let him be please.

Probably when he get's the job it might reduce.

Use the alone time to relax for the next day hustle.

Be at peace.

You'll live long

He probably leaves home in the evenings right? And he’s probably hanging out with other guys that don’t usually work a 9 to 5. Let him be, as hard as it may be. He’s trying to figure out a way forward for himself. Coupled with the probability that right now, he doesn’t want to seat in one place alone feeling sorry for himself for not being able to provide as he would like for his family. Just let him be, he’ll change as soon as things pick up for him in the job department. U might not be nagging him, but ur body language speaks volumes because u think u know how he should be behaving right now. Believe me, u have no idea what that man is going thru @ the moment.

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

What you just did is plain wicked and insensitive. Words are seeds, you shouldn't throw them around just because you can. I don't support her husband coming home late, but that doesn't mean you jump into conclusions of infidelity. From the conversation she painted, he doesn't come home drunk, and she hasn't had cause to suspect any foul play. She is just worried about him coming home late. If you can't proffer a solution, you could have just read comments and not said anything. Don't destroy a marriage based on assumptions. Not all men cheat

Go on your knees in place of fervent prayers before the Lord to calm him down by disengaging him from those negative friends that make him stay late and ask God to give him a job. Our God is ever faithful to answer you.

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

An 8 years marriage looking for advice from folks with less than 8 months relationship, shameless bastard.

Let him be and stop listening or watching too much Africa magic.

Ouchbabe:
Pls my fellow Nairalanders,

I have been married for 8years now. My husband is nice and caring but I don't like the fact that he likes moving at night. He comes home as late as 12am.

He is currently looking for a job now and most times his reason for coming home late is because he is hanging out with friends. I have discussed this issue with him severally and expressed that I don't like his night movement. On such occasions he will promise not to come home late but the promise is never kept. I have told him the dangers of moving late in a city like Lagos.

The annoying part is that he is not coming home late from work rather because he i s with friends. Most times our young children will stay up late hoping to see him before going to bed but they will wait in vain as he will not be home before they will sleep off.

Note: Even though I'm working, I make sure the house is clean and food ready before he comes home. I don't nag and I'm good looking.

Pls I need suggestions on how to make him stop this night waka.

Please move to front page for wider view

Organise area boys to rough him up, on his late waka waka........

Tim16:
You are working, but he doesn't have any job yet. He comes home late everyday at 12am. You clean the house and provide food for the family, upon that you don't nag, and you are good looking.

Madam you married a very very irresponsible man, and people like him always engage in careless sexual activities with random girls/prostitutes. Most times he could probably be in one brothel having fun. I just pray he shouldn't someday infect you with HIV. same thing happened to my aunty, her husband was living this kind of life and infected her with HIV and both of them died of AIDS living their 4 young kids miserable. It will only take a Divine intervention by the Almighty to change such a man and make him live responsibly... I pray God to come to your aid and touch your husband's heart to become responsible and respect his marriage. I will advice you to become a prayer warrior because of this for there is nothing God can not do. You don't only talk to him you also back it up with fervent prayer I bet you you will see result. May God bless your home. AMEN

Be careful of your statements, some people actually take random advice too seriously, you don't know maybe he is irresponsible or just embarrassed of depending on his wife, since he has no job to provide for his family and finds solace in staying out late than sitting at home feeling useless.

I will tell Op what my people will say:
Its your cross, carry it
You are a woman, talk to your husband

What more can I say that will change your husband. Husband of Lagos with many singles ladies hurting for jobless men with good service. Well well kindly get close to him. Know is problem or what’s keeping him late at night. He could be enjoying conversation with friends and green bottle. Or other side of it.

Your happiness lies with you, nobody is responsible for your happiness. Make this your watch word and live your life like he doesn't exist.once he notice you don't care anymore he would advise himself.

Madam, you just said you married a good man,but the only issue you have is the fact that he is not always there and the reason is not even good enough.

You are too young to become a widow and you should explain this to him in this manner. Hold a mature discussion with him, calmly, without sounding authoritative or like his mother.

Your husband is in a very difficult position right now. A man's joy is in his ability to provide atleast the basics for his family. The triple Fs this brings him is what feeds his emotions and keeps him sane. Hence those smile you see on his face. When last did your man smile genuinely without soundly grumpy , looking lost and glumy?

Your hubby is passing through a psychological phase due to his inability to provide for his family.

Perhaps his plans are not working, he is tired of seeing you return from work while he stays at home all day. He still has his ego and that what keeps him going.

So he leaves when you are about to return from work,and stays out till its late, so he can atleast avoid the possibility of friction.

Help him. Just make him happy on any given day. If he likes to sex, give him the best of sex. If he likes food, prepare him something nice and massage what is left of his ego.

See if you can help him get a job. I beleive that's what he would do if he were in your shoe. He needs a sense of direction. He is at his cross roads. You can also discuss his options with him. Perhaps the next phase is to start a business.

Just give him the triple Fs and discuss his options with him as the caring and loving wife that you are.

Moreover, him bringing in some cash and been useful to his family will lessen your stress and alos put some smile on your face.

Help his ability to feed and cater for his family which includes his queen and not feed the family.

Walk him back to himself and not judge him. He is lost and needs you now more than ever. Go bring your man home.

Show me a depressed man, and I might show you a man who is angry with himself cos he can't provide for his family.