Hmmmmmm!!!

Interesting episode of story story i must say that needed to be scripted and acted upon.But tradition can't be face off due to modernization trends and seeing that you guys are of the same family line is a enough reason to let her go. What you people share is fantasy of a youthful exuberance and not love which is not enough indices for a successful marriage.

You 2 have a great future ahead of you and an abominable marriage isn't one of them if you ask me.

franchasng:
Op, if your problem is the fear that if you leave her, she may never find a suitor like you, then you got no problem because I am scouting for a second wife, so if she is light skin, averagely tall, has very flat tummy, protruding buttocks and full straight legs, then you can PM for further discussion on this....its straight to marriage, so you can be rest assured that she is in safe hands, as for you the guy, you will always find better looking, better behaved, better packaged ladies whenever you are truly ready to marry.....but you must put things in order first. Respect your tradition, hook me up with her if she meets the above criteria and you will be richly rewarded too

Waiting for your PM, and please don't let MrCork see this thread

MorataFC:
even if that tradition is against God?

is this one against God? you

Parablesonmarble:


Please sir, this is not out of being rude or insensitive but more out of being curious. What do think happened to Albert Einstein, the greatest scientist of our time, on whose idea this phone and internet I'm communicating with u was fabricated? He married his first cousin after the end of his first marriage and heaven didn't fall. Was he given a special grace or was it just a case of love is where u find it? Not saying incest is good, just looking for more submissions to convince me man didn't evolve from lower animals. Thanks.

You are making reference to a Western way of life, this is Africa!!! If you guys must copy Western life and adopt it, then they should legalize Gay. Because it’s happening in the Western World doesn’t mean it should happen in Africa or we should accept it. It’s an abomination in Africa. It’s an abomination in Igbo land. So many things the Westerners do and accept doesn’t seem right to us in Africa. We shouldn’t copy everything we see and neglect or abandon our own Culture. Most times we even copy their Culture e.g is Halloween. We also have our Masquerade Carnival here in Nigeria but most hypocrites condemn and speak ill of it but will join the Western World in celebrating Halloween they don’t even know the history.


Ps: I’m not SIR e joor. Even my moniker shows I’m a Lady

My guy pls find a way to leave her.since its ur sister pls try not to hurt her and urself

ngwababe:


You don't need to speak big grammar for him, it's totally an abomination. Their children won't even survive. Happened to my cousin, I think the lady and her child are late now.

But then, the kinsmen will need to divide themselves to represent each of them.

My Dear imagine people here giving him advice to marry the girl and damn the “rubbish traditions”. He won’t know what hit him honestly. I have seen someone it happened to. She married her maternal cousin and everyone keep warning them. Nobody attended their wedding in Nassarawa. The marriage ended in tears. They are still seeking for solution to their problem till today. The guy went to Ondo and he was told to go and do some sanctifications or whatever, he refused. Today he’s like a vegetable and the wife is bedridden as well, no child tho. They are begging for the sacrifices or whatever to be done but it’s late according to her cousin.

They are not even Igbos. So it’s everywhere unless the State or Community doesn’t have traditions or Cultures.

Tradition is an important factor in marriages, that is why even Churches wait for couples to marry traditionally before the white wedding is done. One of the commandments says honour your father and mother, even Bible further warn parents that they will be answerable on how they brought up their children.

You have to be very careful with this matter of marrying her against your parents wish, you are still very young imagine buying your own missery at this early age, God forbid.

When you damn consequences, be ready to carry the crosses. I remember telling my dad that I will bring a woman of heart and not them chosen for me. He only adviced me to make the right decision and go for a woman with character and not beauty. Some decisions may be beneficial others may not, but you have to be careful. You know the extent of the lineage your father is talking about, if it has gone past the extended family level that still do things together you may go ahead and marry her.

Pray to God and put the village witchcraft away from your life.

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

A si ''onye n'eme enyi, ya mee enyi-onye o ga alunwu'' meaning ''if you want to do boyfriend or girlfriend with person, do it with someone you can marry in case you get stuck'' don't blame Igbo culture, it's there before and you failed to know it,

In my village, almost everyone knows the particular village we can't marry and it's not advisable dating someone from there,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fTAUq6G9apg

There are some things that we need to use our heads on.
Forget bible quotes bros. This thing be like fresh corper who is about passing out; you will see the person saying that he/she will get job after one month of passing out .lol! And when you tell the person to calm down and face reality next thing you will hear is “my case is different”

Hahahah! Ndi church! YOU SHALL NOT PUT THE LORD YOUR GOD IN TEST!!! Thou says the lord

Neroiam:


Last time i checked, the Holy Spirit is given to me to profit withal. God no talk to me, Him pikin, na to send you... So na u go talk to me when i go hear? Human beings sha...

Guy, sleep.. Night don cover.

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

I understand you very well because there are some villages within you area you can't marry from

They are migrant from your village and settled to another village

They promise not to inter marry because of the blood relationship

Though there are certain traditional things done to wave it off

But the best option is to cut it off

You have to handle it gently with her and if possible find out from her family if its through you guys can't marry so that she too will be aware that its not your fault

If eventually it's true, gradually start withdrawing, with time she will understand

Love and marriage is sweet with out obstacles

Neroiam:


Madam color color.

I, O T, have no scared traditions i respect and uphold. If I'm from your place, I still will not respect any sacred traditions. Yes! I stubborn like that.
Starting from the foods people forbid because of tradition, I dey chop anything and everything.. My people know me...
The other day i dey chop dried snake meat wey sweet pass turkey seff, my guy dey say dia people dey forbid am say na their juju, you eat you die.. Taaaa. What nonsense

See eh, anything that isn't found on God's word is trash. Kick it.

God said, my people are destroyed for lack of knowledge... Hosea 4:6a

Oga I take an exception to that last statement, nobody is perishing or lacking any knowledge here.

Now back to the topic at hand. Whatever that works for you may not work for another person, always take note of that before making references. You are not from his community or know how dangerous that act is in his place so don’t compare yourself with him.

When you give advice based on what is happening in your life, did you take a minute to ponder if that advice when applied to another person’s relationship, will it work for them??

Whatever that rocks your boat may sink their Ship! That you don’t respect or uphold the Sacred traditions of your Town doesn’t mean others should! That you go against them doesn’t mean I should just because yours isn’t effective, that’s a wrong notion.

A couple I know way back in Nassarawa are bedridden today because the Lady married her maternal cousin, they are not even Igbos. These things happen, and they are real.

Never you marry against your parent's wish if you don't want to regret your actions in the future.

Scottallen:
[left][/left]

Lies

Alright bro.

nollywood script.
So these things dey happen for real life.
igbo pple enle o.

priscaoge:


My Dear imagine people here giving him advice to marry the girl and damn the “rubbish traditions”. He won’t know what hit him honestly. I have seen someone it happened to. She married her maternal cousin and everyone keep warning them. Nobody attended their wedding in Nassarawa. The marriage ended in tears. They are still seeking for solution to their problem till today. The guy went to Ondo and he was told to go and do some sanctifications or whatever, he refused. Today he’s like a vegetable and the wife is bedridden as well, no child tho. They are begging for the sacrifices or whatever to be done but it’s late according to her cousin.

They are not even Igbos. So it’s everywhere unless the State or Community doesn’t have traditions or Cultures.

Their main problem was that they believed it when they were told dt was the cause of their problem.

if u don't believe these fetish stuff it cant hurt You. fear is the power behind it, nothing else.

Some of you don’t know anything.... for example i am from Opoji in Edo state Eguare to be precise, so if i meet a lady from Eguare, she’s either my sister or cousin because in Eguare we are just one big family from the same bloodline...

72Morale:
No matter how stubborn and wise you think you are; Don't ever go against tradition and against your family wishes once it has to do with marriage.

Love isn't even one of the top 5 things to consider in marriage because it's just a self-deceptive word that does not contribute anything to a marriage.

Which yeye tradition is that? I believe they are from the same clan, that tradition has been abolished in village for over 30years now.

kunkelhanspeter:

Which tradition is against God ?
Even in bible dey said don’t have sexual relationship with your close family

How's somebody that's merely from your village, close family?

Jews practice cousin marriage

Bratking:


in every village/town in igboland, there are tiny villages known as clans.

families belonging to a common clan have a common ancestor and so are kith and kin.

the girl is his kith and kin and so therefore is related to him by blood.

marrying her will be an abominable.

maybe where you come from it's acceptable to marry your relations but in igboland it's a taboo.

This case isn't that of same kith n kin. In majority of Igboland, a community (town) is made up of aggregate villages having same ancestral origin and therefore, bear a singular name to unite them. While one may marry from another village within the same town, girls from his own village are out of bound for him. I've heard of this from a couple of my friends but doesn't exist in my own town. Everyone knows you can't marry from you kith and kin(kindred=umunna). I can marry from my village but surely not from my kindred in my village. There are other kindreds in my village. But some Igbo communities have it that you can't marry from your village as everyone is seeing as a kindred.
Now to OP, it seems your community is one of such. Since she's from your village, why not ask her to consult her family and ask them if she's permitted to marry someone she loves from the same village. I expect her to return with the same answer. If that's the case, then they may not support the marriage even if you're willing to damn all consequences leaving you with only one option- eloping. If you're bouyant enough and is willing to risk all for this, then go on with it. As far as I see it, the divergence is so long now to warrant any biological problems. As long as she's not from your umunna, you're good to go. Eventually, you'll be a reference point to open up the way for others in your town. It is our unwillingness to challenge some traditions in Africa that has held us down. We're not evolving at all. You're certainly doing nothing wrong here despite what anyone wants to say. People are just scared not to ruffle the feathers of tradition. I believe that if you have some enlightened persons in your family, they'll support you. As long as she's not from your umunna and not maternally related to you(your mother and grandmother's family) you're good to go.

Frankyboy1:
Now listen! No body here can tell you what to do, the answer lies within,and would speak tru your convictions, there re marriages family disapproved of and succeeded and there re marriages families supported and failed, don't let no one define happiness for you, it is an old and archaic tradition still practised in my place, a village comprising of over two hundred kindred generations ago are still considered siblings, what rubbish! Then we all are brothers and sisters from the genealogy of Adam and eve! Check out those villages,most of them re codedly blowing themselves secretly,both knowingly and unknowingly, but hypocrisy says you can blow codedly but can't marry! My large village in an Igbo speaking area in delta state have that tradition, but guess what! Anytime I go home and feel funky, I blow them chicks indiscriminately, and when you done d girl tells you do you know bla bla bla bla bla, I just keep quiet, deep my mouth into d booby,and then blow again and again and again generously, what you don't believe can't harm you, fear is the mother of all evil, defeat it and rise above the stars!/oneove bro

I wish the OP will read ur post, and ur advice.

priscaoge:
When they tell Youths of this generation to know their root, Cultures and traditions they will insult you and call you archaic/ancient. My Dear incest is NEVER accepted anywhere even in the Bible. Trust me you won’t be able to handle the consequences. If truly you both are related by blood, don’t go ahead with that plan of yours because it will backfire.


People on this NL who doesn’t understand how related you both are or what your traditions are will tell you to damn the tradition and marry her. Remember they won’t be there tomorrow to bear the consequences with you. They have their sacred traditions they respect and uphold but will quickly thrash yours just to sound woke


There’s a huge difference between CIVILIZATION and TRADITIONS. Some cultures and traditions are still powerful no matter how civilized or how religious the World is. Listen to the WORDS OF WISDOM, Listen to the WORDS OF THE ELDERS

Who told you that it incest? I'm Igbo and we marry from the same village. People should look into this tradition abolish it, it is not healthy at all.

Makavelli25:
Same shit happening to me. Am in love with my stepsis
We are planning to run away

She is your sister none the less.

You better leave her now for your good bro.

Stevecovey:


Their main problem was that they believed it when they were told dt was the cause of their problem.

if u don't believe these fetish stuff it cant hurt You. fear is the power behind it, nothing else.

Did you just say fetish? Let me tell you the truth, God honours any agreement or oath binding among a people so this one is no difference.

priscaoge:
When they tell Youths of this generation to know their root, Cultures and traditions they will insult you and call you archaic/ancient. My Dear incest is NEVER accepted anywhere even in the Bible. Trust me you won’t be able to handle the consequences. If truly you both are related by blood, don’t go ahead with that plan of yours because it will backfire.


People on this NL who doesn’t understand how related you both are or what your traditions are will tell you to damn the tradition and marry her. Remember they won’t be there tomorrow to bear the consequences with you. They have their sacred traditions they respect and uphold but will quickly thrash yours just to sound woke


There’s a huge difference between CIVILIZATION and TRADITIONS. Some cultures and traditions are still powerful no matter how civilized or how religious the World is. Listen to the WORDS OF WISDOM, Listen to the WORDS OF THE ELDERS

hausas marry their cousin... Sarah was related to Abraham... Its just the culture of igbos... I was once in his position, at the end of the day I thought about the consequences on our children was it really worth it.. Cutting them of their roots just for our selfish reasons... How they'll be treated by our ummunna and all, at the end of the day it wasn't worth it.. You don't know why that culture was set that way...

Alternator:


A si ''onye n'eme enyi, ya mee enyi-onye o ga alunwu'' meaning ''if you want to do boyfriend or girlfriend with person, do it with someone you can marry in case you get stuck'' don't blame Igbo culture, it's there before and you failed to know it,

In my village, almost everyone knows the particular village we can't marry and it's not advisable dating someone from there,

Your last paragraph talks about a village you can't marry from. If I may ask; why not? Certainly, not because you're blood relations. Some of these traditions have outstayed their relevance. Yes, some of them have.
As far as I'm concerned, areas that should be off limits for a man is his umunna and his maternal families(both his mother and grandmother) up to 2 generations.

You must be from one village in Ngor Okpala in Imo state. My course mate that year was also from there. He told me they were not allowed to even date someone from the same village. But mehn the guy bleeped so many of his village "sisters".

Fact is, na your culture. If you can go against it and stay away no p. But there will be consequences. So be ready for them. And by consequences I don't mean spiritual. Everybody go shun you is 1.

Mandem12:
I don't know about that. Just that they said we're siblings since we're from the same village.

Bro follow nnaeyes6 advice. Seek to know more about yours and her IKWU. I have asked some elders here and their suggestions tallies with what nnaeyes6 has stated above. Best wishes.

My marry her

mabea:
Who told you that it incest? I'm Igbo and we marry from the same village. People should look into this tradition abolish it, it is not healthy at all.

Lol! This is funny. That they are from the same village doesn’t mean they won’t marry. They are bloodily related or there’s a big reason why they won’t get married. In my own place, I can marry from my village or even my community gan gan as long as we do not have any blood relation. Coming from the same Village isn’t the only reason why they won’t marry, let the OP spill everything his father and the elders told him and you will have a different view.

There’s more to his story!

dont mess up with marital blessing it secures the future & such blessing can only come from ur parent,if they say dont, pls dont !,forget that thing u call love is just a deceptive scale over ur eyes & once it falls off, ur eyes go open & sense will return,that is when ur foolishness will be revealed to u

Mandem12:
I had to open a new account for this, pardon me for Punctuation errors. I have to go straight to the point so as not to bore you... My story goes thus

I'm a young man of 25. I met this very beautiful girl, aged 23 now, we've dated 4 years now. She's so humble, the love grew out of nowhere. She does everything a woman would do for a man and I do everything a man will do for a woman.

I found myself not doing anything without her and she cannot do anything without involving me, we actually love each other very much.

She started pestering me to have a blood oath with her because she was scared I would leave her. I laughed it off cos I knew I wouldn't cheat on her, she is everything I wanted in a woman.

Trouble started when I brought her home to meet my parents, I was actually happy that I had found my wife...

When she left, my father asked me where she was from, and I told him and my father told me I can't marry her because she was from the same village with me and thereby related by blood thereby marrying her is an abomination that she was my sister so to say and said our kinsmen would not be Involved if I insist on marrying her... I felt my world crumbling down like a pack of cards...

I told my girl and she was like, it's an old tradition and nobody will dictate to her who she would marry and she loves me and there was no going back...

As a man, I thought about it and wanted to let her go because I wouldn't want the stigma to be on us and my unborn kids... I showed her some attitude to make her hate me but she didn't, rather she would rather beg me not to leave her even when I'm at fault. I feel bad anytime I do anything to hurt her feelings...

Now, I actually want to get her pregnant and damn the consequences, do a court wedding if the need arises and relocate with her out from our state and start a new life elsewhere...

Another mind is telling me to let her go so we can move on with our lives, or even be a fugitive for her... I however know she will hurt herself if I leave her... I'm very confused about everything, I seriously need help... Why is Igbo tradition this way? I found love with this girl, now everything is about to be stripped away from me, just like that... I seriously need an advice please...

I love this girl so much and she make me happy


Please move this to front page so I can hear from others please...

From your story, it simply means every woman married in your family is from another village. Given the situation, you are not the only one affected because the girls parents won't give their consent to the marriage too.
I think it's better you have a real and solid conversation with your family.