Marriage is not for everybody

Understanding The Basics. A lot of people only want the obvious things in the marriage, and pay attention to them, not the Basic elements of mariage

Tolerance,

ElvisPresley:
I don't think I'll be getting married...Marriage ain't shit to me.. My kids are my life...i love and respect my baby mama's too... I'll keep on banging different coochie till I leave this earth.

You have a keen sense of ownership and the looseness of the female folks has clearly made your idealogy of marriage warped.

The hardest part of marriage is understanding.
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Its important that we know
1) our common values,
2) we make it interesting,
3) we value our children, for me that is important,
4) We make sex interesting
5) We have our purpose in life that keeps us passionate and optimistic, it may be humanitarian, it could be scientific or charity, or community related.
6) That we are gentle and respect each other
7) And we have an understanding that we are not perfect
I think it is also important to build good memories together and remember them.

Too much boredom ......most married ppl are just living together cus of the kids.....that's why I love the western world....once its boring...everybody go their separate ways and look for fresh excitement

EmekaBlue:
ur wife spreading her pants all around d room and bath

i cant and i wont take this.

Constantly seeing more beautiful women every day. Some will even give u correct green light but u are stocked with one babe for ever. Its depressing :

Kelvin30286063:
Staying faithful for men and staying happy for women.

This is what makes women in marriage happy in the first place. If the man is faithful forget the financial aspects, we'll be happy and satisfied with what ever our man give us

neutrotoba:


Having a roommate for life out of obligation would be the hardest for me. I don't do well with having to share my space

boss let her have own room na. Then you guys can play home and away depending on who match they hungry pass.

Most of this problems na money kill everything last last. Some people have to use intercom to call their wife and kids in the same house cos house to big and rooms too many.

Na God go help us

bigpicture001:
Financial compatibility....

This does not mean being rich by the guy,instead it means being able to share na be of help financially in marriage..,.

Women are non not to be supportive in this aspect nd that see it as their right....

This is a silent home breaker especially for the middle income spouses.


A guy I know divorced his wife straight after sh delivered of their first child... He saved for the D- day..but still fell short of 95k cuz there was complication of deliverering that no one expected.....

While he run from pillar to post to his friends seeking a soft loan pending wen he is paid..the wife still held at the hospital sent her younger sis,who stays with them to secretly go to the house go nd to her matrimonial room nd collect the 65k sh kept in her bag b4 d hubby mistakenly sees it

Unfortunately for her the hubby went home nd met his teenage in law with 65k cash....sh TLD him her elder sis instruction....


He was shocked...nd told the gal to go ahead nd deposit d money to d wife's bank as sh was instructed by her. He continued his nuzzle nd two days later he got them out of the hospital paying 126k additional from the first delivery cost...

Sh came back home nd can't look him in the eyes...quarell after quarelk ensued DT led to divorce exactly one month later....

Gals of this days are too stingy nd mny of them take d Character into marriages.....never ever Marry a lady DT will not b supportive..as a guy,u can't solve all them financial problems in marriage...

This is a big p,no one talks abt

Some fake pastors preach that the man's money is for the family while the woman's money is for her own use.

The hardest part is staying with someone who has cheated countless times all in the name of forgiveness! There's no punishment greater than that.

eddyvilla:



I doubt if this person is married

eddyvilla:



I doubt if this person is married

This tread was for married people and never meant for those in BF and GF r/sh.

It not only that, its meant for those who are currently managing their marriage and enduring all in every way and with every possible respect.

I also believe this tread was prompted by a single person who see persons who has been in marriage for a very long lime like 30-40 years and respects them alot, knowing that relationship is one thing and marriage is WORK WORK AND WORK.

I also think we should be understanding, marriage is hard, when you are tied to one person, so we should learn to appreciate each other, and build ourselves up, and enjoy the process of building the product of marriage, i.e children, we should find activities that bring excitement to all and enriches our mind. For men, sex is very important, So its good to remain physically fit and healthy.

olasaad:


This is what makes women in marriage happy in the first place. If the man is faithful forget the financial aspects, we'll be happy and satisfied with what ever our man give us

its either you are not married,
You have never tasted lack(I envy you) or you just dey give us bobo juice madam.

The Subject Title is confusing

For me, the hardest part is being utterly and completely comfortable around your partner especially during the silent moments.

Again, it is extremely necessary to avoid as much as possible the notion that gender roles must be strictly adhered to. Women can be bread winners and men can help look after the kids etc.

Kids are huge stressors too. As much as we pray for them, they are almost always the major source of marital disharmony.

tripplephi:
Well, I do not know what you mean by LOVE in your own language, BUT LET ME BE BRUTALLY HONEST....

The dreadful part where ALL BUTTERFLIES HAVE EITHER DIED OR FLOWN AWAY and HORNnINESS is now a memory AND THE PRESENCE of your spouse feels like a burden cos singleness become so so attractive again like a LIFE GOAL, yet you have to just KEEP FAKING IT AND DOING EVERYTHING when you know it is no longer how it felt like in the beginning.

its Haaaarrrd

It’s sad but this is truly the truth. I hope when it’s my time I find someone that can make it tolerable, and I make hers tolerable too.

Davash222:

See what Funmi settled for

What da hell is wrong with you? Who damaged you like this?

srclark:
no insults intended but you can never say ,even the people you least expect to cheat do it .Some even cheat for no reason .What i have learnt so far do not vouch for anyone

You kinda right though. People become unfaithful for several reasons. Majority do cheat because of lack of real intimacy or some come from a family full of miserable relationships and/or have a long history of miserable relationships, so to them, it’s not even miserable, it’s just normal. So the possibility of someone (who's parents are faithful to each other) to be unfaithful is low. Just my opinion.
Yes U can't vouch for anyone, but people who are faithful exist. Yes we do. lol. Been unfaithful as a man is expensive sef

Godsfavour78:
its either you are not married,
You have never tasted lack(I envy you) or you just dey give us bobo juice madam.

I am married. My own problem is infidelity. I can cope with any other problem God forbid shaa.

I think friendship matters because I've learned a lot from my parents. Those guys can gist till midnight without getting tired

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=al3ndf_GAGg

pinkhill:
I am not married but the hardest part in my head is not being able to walk away freely.

When push comes to shove, the way I'll walk majestically away will shock people, so fret not my dear, don't allow people's experience or narrative scare you, it is very easy.

staying truthful and faithful

Jaubdu:
For me I feel staying in love is so much more difficult than falling in love....Every reasonable opinions counts.

There are many ingredients that build up a successful marriage such as love, commitment, friends, understanding, agreement, collaboration etc. Many people go with the illusion that love is enough in a marriage but forget that things like agreement, companionship, understanding etc all strengthen love itself. The major ingredient to staying in love is to develop the mindset of being of service to one's partner, the minute self-service sets in, it's conflict all the way.

Truth is marriage is just an unnecessary burden

Lamanii22:
Staying faithful.... I respect my mom on that part... She's so faithful to my dad, truss me some other women would have left since or cheated.. I wanna be like her...

my mom also, the only woman I trust

martins18:
I think friendship matters because I've learned a lot from my parents. Those guys can gist till midnight without getting tired

This is on point

SassyGem101:


Are you any better? Is funmisticqueen any better herself? Seeing how you both go about talking recklessly on this forum, you both are no different.

Its obvious the gentle man is already tired and the mere thoughts of marriage with her is giving him the chills cos hes probably seen some red flags that the lady may not have what it takes to keep a man longer in marriage hence the question. And what he needs now is sincere advice and contributions before he makes the mistake of his life.
From what I've read here, that lady is toxic! Jokes apart. Forget the initial niceties. When ladies need something, they act all nice especially if they see their mates getting married and they are being left behind. But once in, they reveal their true self.

Good one