₦airaland Forum

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner.

If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe quora could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own. Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything. I especially think in todays world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in othe areas. Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it. Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment. Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one? Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous? Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend? Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side? Many questions to ask before you take any action.

Chaii see Epistle longer than river Nile


This is kinda Grandma you don't wanna offend
The lamentation go pass the ones in the Bible


Back to the Topic

That kinda relationship kills faster than Corona virus

Sit your girl down and talk sense into her

Rubbish talks from a potential victim of paternity fraud in the future.
Always let your woman know that a man fuccking another woman is not cheating even if you don't plan to do it just inculcate that line of reasoning into her from the beginning

Biggie225:
she loves and care about you so much . Op endure and move on with her. ,with time you will get used her antics. Never you lose that girl .
I've had similar experience before and I regret my stupid actions..

you should be happy she didn't successfully isolate you by now you would have been a 100% puppet

Don't be surprise when you realize this girl still cheats on you after all this her monitoring wahala. Don't be manipulated.

Most girls nowadays have three boyfriends..

1. Minister of finance..
2. Minister of Internal affairs...
3. Minister of Happiness.

Any need for debate ?

2dice01:
Chaii see Epistle longer than river Nile


This is kinda Grandma you don't wanna offend
The lamentation go pass the ones in the Bible


Back to the Topic

That kinda relationship kills faster than Corona virus

Sit your girl down and talk sense into her

You need a little dose of the red pill...Why not start off with Ubunja's miseducation...

cfree14:
Haba hanty! Fear God na. U fit use dis ur comment create new thread

Hahahahahahahahah na wa oooooo

Face your studies

M@c@y en€-r-gy

15% c@pit-@l every 2. We-eks

c@pit-@l p@id b@ck in the 1Oth we-ek

Free her & find your match

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

Lol seems you are lucky

tunize:
The way u lay ur bed na so u go lie on top am. Bros u be man act like one nor let woman dey control u like remote
See that babe of urs will deprive u of all ur friends, including males very soon and she will do it in a way that u cant do without her like its only u and her in this whole world, even if she's misbehaving u won't have a sey and eventually she go live u for anoda guy. I pity u shall

accurate

Read the writings on the wall and safe yourself...

H

fatymore:
Face your studies

I did this and regretting

Who knows If Facebook Adbreaks is now Eligible in Nigeria

Biggie225:
she loves and care about you so much . Op endure and move on with her. ,with time you will get used her antics. Never you lose that girl .
I've had similar experience before and I regret my stupid actions..

Oga diz one na dangerous jealousy. So the guy no go talk 2 d opposite sex again jst bcoz e dey date u. She too no dey talk 2 men. Evry mallam wit e kettle sha

Story story when you de enjoy her, you tell us?

The funny thing is dat she will still dump ur sorry ass in the end

Walk away while you still can.

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

U can use her busy time to schedule anything u wanna do, she’s just overprotective of her relationship and she might have been in a wrong relationship b4

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MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

Would you like it if she kept male friends?

I thought you guys advise yourselves to date women who LOVE you more? Women who will fight for you all?

What exactly is the issue?

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

And that's someone you wanna spend the rest of your life with?

I can guarantee you, she'll stab you dead in the future out of jealousy.

Who is this weak person please.

Here to read comments

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

Bros..., read up Othello syndrome also know as pathologic jealousy. This ur story sounds like it. Just read it and see that u r gradually going in with a sick woman. The question u should ask in rhetoric is are u ready??...
All the best bro..

Lol,

Doesnt she have friends?

When does she hang out with her friends?

Fire her Mehn, before you die of HBP