Make I laugh first why you dey lament Nor be you go find babe you still knee down toast am o now she wan kill you.... What happened to always and forever biko

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

Bro!!! Run o.

You are in a deep shit. I was in a case like this last year, from February to August.

I went through hell, she was manipulative. the girl limited my movement, couldn't make calls, broken my phone so I wouldn't chat.

But she would call her bf in my front for hours, it was as if I was hypnotized. I lost my reputation in the lodge.

Everyone deserted my ass, some called my woman wrapper. After long vacation, I went back to school, taking all her property out of my room. Stopped talking to her and made sure she never comes into my room, she noticed my attitude and gave me space.

After Xmas break, I came back became flirtatious with her one day and she thought I was back. The next day she came into the room, I snubbed her ass she left and never came back.

Fast forward, before our first semester exam recently concluded, around 1am midnight she came knocking in my room I opened and she hugged me crying that she has missed me ad telling me I have become so cold to her. I let her sleep in my room that night, the next morning she left and I continued my way.

well now, I'm something else now. I'm zero down when it comes to emotions. Bro given her run, him no tie your placenta to her.

Biggie225:
she loves and care about you so much . Op endure and move on with her. ,with time you will get used her antics. Never you lose that girl .
I've had similar experience before and I regret my stupid actions..

I had one side chic too, my fiancee now was in other state then. I told this babe na just friend I want o, come and see wahala though she don't monitor me because I'm someone you can't even monitored even if your papa Na Buhari but she used hot love spoil me. this girl if I tell her to sell her father's properties and give it to me I swear she won't hesitate to do that


I fought her just let her go but she refuse not until I use one of my lady friend to pursue her. my own fiance doesn't have that kind of time but I love a lady with that kind of feelings they make relationship worth it


Op should just know how to manage her emotions, you both will be alright

Listen to me Mr. MiVida.

She's going to kill you one day.

Her jealousy will push her into it for sure.

You better run now with your life.

Tell her you are gay or something... and escape with your life now you still have the time.

Before It becomes too late.

I don talk my own be dat o.

SEGLIZ:

this was my experience back then I can quite well relate with it.
put an end to it or it would ruin your purpose in that school.
advice from someone that has had same experience.
they would always be nice to a fault but domineering, just overbearing, to possessive and choking.
at the end she would call it quit.

see wise man here...I only pity that o.p...I passed through same in school...thought I've seen a wife material... My whole family knew her,,in fact she did worst than what that babe is doing to him.she monitored my ass to the extent that I couldn't keep any female friends,the little ones I had then,their names were stored with daddy1,daddy2,daddy3,daddy4..omohh...na when she do me gbas-gbos my eyes clear....

[s]

FrLukas:


You do know that if the two of you get married, that kinda girl can stab you to death in your sleep over some perceived infidelity on your part.

If you have never given her any reason to doubt your faithfulness, then she's got OCD. She's insecure...and she gon kill you.

That was what made the Ibadan husband killer stab her husband in the neck killing him instantly.

Talk to her and show her you love her...or run for your life.

[/s]

[s]

FrLukas:


Lol.

Bolded sounds funny to me.

[/s]

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

Are you telling me that you don't know how to handle such girl tgat wants to choke your life

If by a chance she gets pregnant, do you think she will let you go off it

Be bold, sit her down and tell her that for sometime, you have been unpleasant with her attitude and you will appreciate if you guys can go on break

In that break, don't always call her and if she calls, do not pick all the times

Don't visit her and if she does, let it be brief and don't give her all the attention you always give her

With time, she will correct herself and be a better girl

If after the break she has not changed, it's either you accept her that way or you end the relationship at the earliest stage

Some ladies are like that, a man needs freedom no matter what he wants to do with his freedom, the most important thing is for him to place his woman above other women he may have

Monitoring a man's movement is nit necessary, they are like beds that must fly, pearch and still come back home

Fisher007:


Hmm focus more on yourself my brother. You might end up not being with her after school.

Work more on your grades, have as much female friends as possible. Don't limit yourself to a self centered and jealous being. At the end of the day all is still based on your success.

Although meeting the parent is too fast. And there is no unicorn out there. I can see you placed her on a pedalstone and you will eventually suffer for it over time.

Work on yourself, more my brother. She can leave if she decides too. Don't enclose your life because of her, cause she won't do the same for you. Simple.

Good advice. I like this.

Ishitinyourlife:
If you can't sit her down and tell her you don't like how she's choking you then you're not fit to have a relationship

i can do that to your mother

Leezah:
whats wrong with it?!

aunty ogun go kill you

One man food they say is another's poison

nappy760:
did your parents send you to school to find a wife?...just curious

Well, that is what the Indomie general would rather concentration on. Watch how his kind come after you.

One of my guys once had a gf like this; pretty, jealous and possessive. She'd tell my guy not to interact with any other girl besides her, she must not see any girl's photo in his gallery and so on. And my guy being a fool in love yielded to all her demands. Unfortunately for my boy, it turned out that while he was steadily following the rules set by the girl, she was busy doing her own thing, and my boy was just a deputy bf. I no fit laff!

cfree14:

Haba hanty! Fear God na. U fit use dis ur comment create new thread

I didn't even read it, I was like kilode, are you the lady sef

MiVida:
my love for her isn't that deep to get to such ridiculous extents you're portraying bro. MBA!

Because you dey see her every day, you come dey think say your love is not that deep, abi?

No woman can control a man that's not in love. This your complain here won't be a problem if your love is not deep.

agarawu23:
what else does he wants in a lady that frustrate his life even when dey never marry?

i asked him a question, which was, would he like it if she kept male friends? let us say he answers, yes. i would then suggest 1. he reduces the amount of time he spends with his female friends, 2. distance himself a bit from his female friends, 3. do not to be in a situation with a female that could put her trust in him in doubt. (My suggestion seems extreme, but bro, do you want to pretend that some of this so called female friends are not trying to seduce him. Do you know that naturally once a guy is taken his attractiveness to other females goes up? they start flirting with a guy who ordinarily they may not have flirted with)

on the other hand if his answer is no, he would not like if she kept male friends. Then i would suggest he takes the lead dump and/or distance himself from his female friends.

if u finally got married to her just know dat ur six feet is sure

And how can you live without the opposite sex? Not ur girl.

I wish I can give your post multiple likes because that is what it deserves

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

.

You don't need this, it's unhealthy. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you get to loose yourself or friends.
Take a stand against it now

angelfallz:


i asked him a question, which was, would he like it if she kept male friends? let us say he answers, yes. i would then suggest 1. he reduces the amount of time he spends with his female friends, 2. distance himself a bit from his female friends, 3. do not to be in a situation with a female that could put her trust in him in doubt. (My suggestion seems extreme, but bro, do you want to pretend that some of this so called female friends are not trying to seduce him. Do you know that naturally once a guy is taken his attractiveness to other females goes up? they start flirting with a guy who ordinarily they may not have flirted with)

on the other hand if his answer is no, he would not like if she kept male friends. Then i would suggest he takes the lead dump and/or distance himself from his female friends.

You're a man, your oil won't ever run dry.

To me that's not an issue, except you want to have a side chick.

I'm sorry it sounds like she's obsessive


The bad thing is that people like her sees their partner as their property.

You need to make sure it's stopped or that behaviour will ruin you

Niggah, when I say ruin you, I meant that

So tread carefully.

Give her the assurance and everything, if she can't change then it's time to move on.

Don't be trapped with her appearance and sh1t cos that behaviour can see the end of you.

Be patient though, but if she can't change, Niggah, time to jet

Beware of any partner that tries to confine and control your life, they are always violent, manipulating , self centered , wicked and promiscuous.

cfree14:

Haba hanty! Fear God na. U fit use dis ur comment create new thread

as in ehn, the comment/advice long pass river Nile

Las Las she go still break up with you on a serious note. Women like this don't last long with a man.
They make you feel like they can't survive without you but all na still nonsense, the next thing is a break-up (not a prophet of doom but just to keep you in check with reality).
Make your studies your priority for now pls. Keep a girlfriend if you want to, keep females friends too but never at the cost of your career plans or pursuits.

Leezah:

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.
Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.
Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.
Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.
Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.
Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.
Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.
I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.
Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…
Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).
Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.
Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.
Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.
Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.
Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

OMG wow I love how short and concise your book (i mean post) is. But next time please try to use more words, ok? OMFG

2Odds101:
see wise man here...I only pity that o.p...I passed through same in school...thought I've seen a wife material... My whole family knew her,,in fact she did worst than what that babe is doing to him.she monitored my ass to the extent that I couldn't keep any female friends,the little ones I had then,their names were stored with daddy1,daddy2,daddy3,daddy4..omohh...na when she do me gbas-gbos my eyes clear....

brother the experience was and is still traumatic experience though married I keep regretting that relationship, all in the name securing wife.
though I don't blame I blame myself for been foolish. my girlfriend abi na wife to be I go call ham, will hug male friends in my presence but I no fit relate with female friends on or off school.
my girlfriend went visit a male classmate who is married, she returned narrating how was doting over her in the presence of his wife. you could see and feel the joy in not minding the trauma she and useless guy gave the pregnant lady.
very self centered creature they are always want all to themselves.

5thAngel:

I am the female version of you. Although I'm still in the relationship, I have little or no freedom. I cannot interact with a male friend or acquaintance without answering to a barrage of questions. Cuz of this, i only have one female friend who is close to him also, no male friends. I cant go out on my own volition, and if I do, he'll think i've slept with every male in town. What im getting at is, if there's no trust from the get go, then it's not worth it. love still keeps me here, and i feel if i let him go, i'll be alone as I dont have anyone i can call a close friend.

This one touch me. I had to comment.
My sister remember that you're also a human being like him. Don't surrender any significant portion of your person to another human being's whim. Even your parents. We are all fickle beings. Some are just more confident than others.

You are being isolated and you have begun accepting it. Please don't. If he leaves you today who or what do you have as a support system? Please leave and create your identity apart from a relationship. God bless you (I hope you are a good person).

Scratch the above paragraphs if he is very very rich compared to you. Or if you are very very poor compared to him. Then it's not a crime to not want to fucck up your source of income.

SEGLIZ:

brother the experience was and is still traumatic experience though married I keep regretting that relationship, all in the name securing wife.
though I don't blame I blame myself for been foolish. my girlfriend abi na wife to be I go call ham, will hug male friends in my presence but I no fit relate with female friends on or off school.
my girlfriend went visit a male classmate who is married, she returned narrating how was doting over her in the presence of his wife. you could see and feel the joy in not minding the trauma she and useless guy gave the pregnant lady.
very self centered creature they are always want all to themselves.

I balmed myself too ooh..Man don suffer for life..
The problem with mine is that...even after four years of the whole sh*t,,I still can't keep a girlfriend..I feel insecure around girls,,I don't trust anything in feminine form... That sh*t really messed up my whole life ,,I now see all girls as the same people.... Up till this moment love seem scammy to me...