| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by casspersteve: 11:35pm On Mar 17, 2020 |
SEGLIZ:
you sure had the xp
yeah learnt my lesson. 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by kkins25(m): 11:56pm On Mar 17, 2020 |
Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.
Maybe.
2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.
Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.
Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.
Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.
Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.
Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.
Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.
I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.
Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…
Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).
Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.
Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.
Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.
Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.
Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action. Beautiful! I must confess, when i first glanced through the write up i wanted to skip it, but the sentence structure made me decide otherwise. Do know that i read every word, i like how you try to use your own experiences (from a psychological POV) to explain whats probably going on in the op's girlfriends head.. I cant help but guess you to be an introvert or someone that is very reserved. I say this because You have mediated on your thoughts, analysed the emotions that come with it and probably revisted decisions you made when you had the experiences.. Remarkable!!! Is the op learned enough to understand the wisdom up there? Another, person i can learn from has appeared. 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by chival(f): 12:39am On Mar 18, 2020 |
I strongly disagree with the person that opined that jealousy portrays love. It is simply not true. Jealousy is dangerous and jealous people are as impulsive as they are deadly. They are the sort of people who make headlines when they snap and go berserk, most times committing murder.
Please do not marry that girl. If you do, you will be in emotional bondage for the entire duration of the marriage. She will wear you down physically and mentally and reduce your productivity and general quality of life. She needs to work on her insecurities before committing to a relationship of any kind. Don't allow yourself be stifled unnecessarily and don't become a statistic. 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Rizzyreal: 12:39am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Quote author=Leezah post=87491898]Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.
Maybe.
2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.
Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.
Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.
Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.
Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.
Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.
Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.
I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.
Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…
Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).
Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.
Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.
Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.
Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.
Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.[/quote]
Lol, I can't stop laughing at people's comments about this writeup. But madam, no vex who offend you? Haba!.
Anyone that has the patient to read through without skipping can pass any patient test for life. 2 Likes |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by FeliciaClover: 1:33am On Mar 18, 2020 |
tunize:
The way u lay ur bed na so u go lie on top am. Bros u be man act like one nor let woman dey control u like remote
See that babe of urs will deprive u of all ur friends, including males very soon and she will do it in a way that u cant do without her like its only u and her in this whole world, even if she's misbehaving u won't have a sey and eventually she go live u for anoda guy. FeliciaClover |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by koladata(m): 4:52am On Mar 18, 2020 |
This is the reason your previous relationships never worked, men hate ladies that talks too much. Try to work on it, you will make a better sense if you learn to keep it simple Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.
Maybe.
2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.
Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.
Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.
Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.
Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.
Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.
Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.
I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.
Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…
Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).
Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.
Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.
Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.
Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.
Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action. 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by dnapstar(m): 5:22am On Mar 18, 2020 |
MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.
But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.
My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do! You prayed for a good girl and now you have one, your complaining. How do one satisfy humans? |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by hermesprogidy(m): 6:02am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Pussy arse niggar, get the heck outta here!!! You don't know what to do? Go sell your dick!! |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by CELEBRITIZ(m): 7:16am On Mar 18, 2020 |
FrLukas:
Lol.
Bolded sounds funny to me. The guy na small boy na. Wetin him want use woman for now if not sex |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by AkuOlisa: 7:54am On Mar 18, 2020 |
[color=#006600][/color] MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef   She is manipulating you. Soon she will stop you from talking to your male friends ( with an excuse that they are corrupting you) then she will separate you from your family members and siblings before you know it your world will revolve around her and only her. That is when you will understand the full meaning of woman wrapper |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Leezah(f): 8:23am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Ok Sir. koladata:
This is the reason your previous relationships never worked, men hate ladies that talks too much. Try to work on it, you will make a better sense if you learn to keep it simple
|
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Leezah(f): 8:36am On Mar 18, 2020 |
 kkins25:
Beautiful! I must confess, when i first glanced through the write up i wanted to skip it, but the sentence structure made me decide otherwise. Do know that i read every word, i like how you try to use your own experiences (from a psychological POV) to explain whats probably going on in the op's girlfriends head..
I cant help but guess you to be an introvert or someone that is very reserved. I say this because You have mediated on your thoughts, analysed the emotions that come with it and probably revisted decisions you made when you had the experiences..
Remarkable!!!
Is the op learned enough to understand the wisdom up there? Another, person i can learn from has appeared. Yes 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Leezah(f): 8:37am On Mar 18, 2020 |
I am working on something. Roman7:
U need to write a book 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Leezah(f): 8:44am On Mar 18, 2020 |
 X0012:
I wish I can give your post multiple likes because that is what it deserves
Thank you. 1 Like |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Leezah(f): 8:45am On Mar 18, 2020 |
2dice01:
Only 3
Are you a learner?
Yes |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by 2dice01: 8:54am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Leezah:
Yes Good
You need to go for some classes |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Nobody: 8:57am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Are you honestly sure that you haven't been giving her cogent reasons to be very possessive of you?
The problem with many young men is that they can't see beyond their noses. You may have this female friend who poses a threat to your girlfriend, of which you are oblivious of.
That's why I hate all these "female /male bestie" as an opposite sex. Especially when you're in a relationship, watch your interaction with girls. Some of your female friends begin to draw closer only because you're no longer single. They see you as a challenge, a prize to be won, after all, having you will be like having what other girls desire.
Above all, stop being childish. If you can't cope, walk away. Them no gum your nyash there. 3 Likes |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Nobody: 9:00am On Mar 18, 2020 |
koladata:
This is the reason your previous relationships never worked, men hate ladies that talks too much. Try to work on it, you will make a better sense if you learn to keep it simple
This is the reason why you'll never learn and tomorrow, you'll get a new moniker to rant about your girlfriend /wife. Rubbish! |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Arckeen: 9:13am On Mar 18, 2020 |
How old are you bro ? Be sincere |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Nobody: 9:24am On Mar 18, 2020 |
CELEBRITIZ:
I'm an Exco in redeemer Corper Lodge Abuja, second in command after the Papa(president). I started dating the LOML two months ago and she exhibit the same traits as your girl friend. The reason why she acts this way Is because she is madly and crazily in love with you and she is scared of loosing you. I have assured my girl billion of times, she goes through my messages why I sometimes she doesn't allow me do the same. Yours is even okay, she hate when I laugh with ladies in the lodge. We have fought countless of times and I have begged her billions of times. We just have to carry our cross. She said she is scared those ladies will steal me away or I'll fall in love with them that's why she is killing every little move so it will never happen under her watch. That's the reason why she is acting that way. Same thing with your girl too. But you are still young and still in school though She goes through your messages but doesn't allow you to do same with her.... Man you'll be shocked one day.... I have been through a lots with devilish over possessive women. I have a lots of stories to tell later in life which i do compose each every day about women |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by kkins25(m): 9:55am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Leezah:
Yes followed on twitter too, although i saw two accounts with a similar name. |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by kkins25(m): 9:59am On Mar 18, 2020 |
koladata:
This is the reason your previous relationships never worked, men hate ladies that talks too much. Try to work on it, you will make a better sense if you learn to keep it simple
what are you saying? Men dont love women that talk too much. Yes but pls complete the statement, Men dont love women that talk too much nonsense.. What leevah wrote up there was constructive and engaging, smart too. Its this type of ladies that i find hard to resist. |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by sleekone: 10:28am On Mar 18, 2020 |
MiVida:
my love for her isn't that deep to get to such ridiculous extents you're portraying bro. MBA! Your love for her is not that deep but she's all you want in a woman. You have even introduced her to your family. Guy, I'm confused.  It's obvious there's a trust issue here. Maybe she's had bad experiences. If that's the case, it will take a lot for you to reassure her you're different. Abi you be woman wrapper? |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by ssegs5(m): 10:42am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Bruh u need to see yourself as a complete man, let dis girl know dat u are a man indeed. If u ar not careful na dis girl go send you to ur early grave, she go use jealous finish you.
Contact me for your construction work and ur legit landed properties. |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by CELEBRITIZ(m): 11:36am On Mar 18, 2020 |
Kristofferson:
She goes through your messages but doesn't allow you to do same with her.... Man you'll be shocked one day.... I have been through a lots with devilish over possessive women. I have a lots of stories to tell later in life which i do compose each every day about women she is possessive. She want me for herself only. It's like I'm a toy |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by cRobo: 12:42am On Mar 19, 2020 |
Jonathan:
How often do you fûck her?
Are you a good fuckēr? No brain |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by drucci: 3:08am On Mar 19, 2020 |
24kmagic:
I thank God I didn't read this book cos e for pain me well well You don't need a PhD to learn how to quote long texts on NL |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by Rhymer2020(m): 4:42am On Mar 19, 2020 |
this is the reason why we don't have ripe graduates |
| Re: She's Making Life Difficult For Me! by uthlaw: 8:51am On Mar 19, 2020 |
My broda she go still Bleep anoda dick....make ena wise up! |
