₦airaland Forum

casspersteve:
Bro!!! Run o.

You are in a deep shit. I was in a case like this last year, from February to August.

I went through hell, she was manipulative. the girl limited my movement, couldn't make calls, broken my phone so I wouldn't chat.

But she would call her bf in my front for hours, it was as if I was hypnotized. I lost my reputation in the lodge.

Everyone deserted my ass, some called my woman wrapper. After long vacation, I went back to school, taking all her property out of my room. Stopped talking to her and made sure she never comes into my room, she noticed my attitude and gave me space.

After Xmas break, I came back became flirtatious with her one day and she thought I was back. The next day she came into the room, I snubbed her ass she left and never came back.

Fast forward, before our first semester exam recently concluded, around 1am midnight she came knocking in my room I opened and she hugged me crying that she has missed me ad telling me I have become so cold to her. I let her sleep in my room that night, the next morning she left and I continued my way.

well now, I'm something else now. I'm zero down when it comes to emotions. Bro given her run, him no tie your placenta to her.

2Odds101:
I balmed myself too ooh..Man don suffer for life..
The problem with mine is that...even after four years of the whole sh*t,,I still can't keep a girlfriend..I feel insecure around girls,,I don't trust anything in feminine form... That sh*t really messed up my whole life ,,I now see all girls as the same people.... Up till this moment love seem scammy to me...

MiVida:
She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

cfree14:
Haba hanty! Fear God na. U fit use dis ur comment create new thread

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.

Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.

Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.

Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

USAPhoneNumber7:
You're a complete slowpoke. Las Las that girl will stab you to hell.

That's how stupid people end up. Leave girls and focus on your studies

Ibfpleasant:
you talk too much over another person matter

tunize:
The way u lay ur bed na so u go lie on top am. Bros u be man act like one nor let woman dey control u like remote
See that babe of urs will deprive u of all ur friends, including males very soon and she will do it in a way that u cant do without her like its only u and her in this whole world, even if she's misbehaving u won't have a sey and eventually she go live u for anoda guy. I pity u shall

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.

Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.

Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.

Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

larryking540:
And last last last ,she go still break up with am ,,,

Na 1 out of 100 girls day marry their University mate ,
Op better not trash his friendship just because of a pussy lady oo

MiVida:
I had to lie at a time in order for us not to see eachother for days and even at that time, she got data and couldn't stop texting me on WhatsApp or calling my line... I'm just tired! She went for lectures now, that's why I have room to type this sef

tunize:
I'm telling u bro the guy jst need use im head more than e heart.

larryking540:
I graduated from school 3-4 years back ,yes I kw say I still flirt o
But I kw let woman control me ,my last babe for school ,I personally tell her make she kw come my graduation party ,she surprise

Even the babes way they style for me back then ,no be say na brag I day brag ,we kw even be mate right now ,,,

Yes definitely while they day school one graduate go day ask them out , every bottle get e size ,but there is time for everything

You as guy graduate with poor grade na gate man u fit end up
If babe graduate with that same poor grade na her pussy and less brain she go use win contracts

tunize:
I'm telling u bro the guy jst need use im head more than e heart.

tunize:
Bros u correct finish na brain brain be everything.

erons22:
The op should run from that girl, that girl will only destroy him.

My own den after the girl don destroy my life for school, she broke up with me..

SHE make me stay away from my friends i had to quarrel with my close friends all because of her, i foolishly abide to her because i was in love then..

Then My300l 2nd semester result my GPA drop

I THANK GOD MY FRIENDS WAS REASONABLE I HAD TO BEG THEM LATER..

THE OP SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON HIS STUDIES, IF NOT.....

I just hate girls now

larryking540:
Make guys read and study more o

Na ur education first oo

Most of you dat are still in University go soon day hear say ur course mate mostly the females don day marry the moment una drop una graduation pen ,,,not even nysc yet oo, just gradution pen ,,,,then I pray reality doesn hit u hard to know say it will take most 9ja guys 3-6years to be fully okay for a serious relationship

erons22:
The op should run from that girl, that girl will only destroy him.

My own den after the girl don destroy my life for school, she broke up with me..

SHE make me stay away from my friends i had to quarrel with my close friends all because of her, i foolishly abide to her because i was in love then..

Then My300l 2nd semester result my GPA drop

I THANK GOD MY FRIENDS WAS REASONABLE I HAD TO BEG THEM LATER..

THE OP SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON HIS STUDIES, IF NOT.....

I just hate girls now

larryking540:
Bro make I tell u something ...

Na only pussy woman day offer person with pikin ,I tell guys no waste ur card they call who wan frustrate you ,,this life is big and hold a lot of good people way go change your life ,life doesn't end in Nigeria ,

Some guys Sha ,u send girl Money ,every day u go day ring her phone ,boss hustle no even look her face ,na she go run come back day imagine which kin person be dis ,,,but even when she comes back no still send ,if na fuvk she want give her the fuvk ,,still continue your hustle
Because all that matters in this life last last na your children to have the best

nappy760:
did your parents send you to school to find a wife?...just curious

2Odds101:
O.p I only sorry for you...all this things we don see am,,in fact my time i had to save my female friends number with daddy1,daddy2,daddy3 and mummy,grandma ,big Bros,elder sister and so on .....See,,, the day she go meet one guy wey go sweep her off her feet,,she go give you gbas-gbos...she go bullsh*it your f*cking ass..

Forget all this parent things paparazzi,,my whole family knew her.When my little bro came to visit me in school,he stayed with her all through...but she dumped me when it was time for her.by then her first boyfriend was well to do,,the dude only upgraded her to a level of single mumship.......
Be wise...na word from experience I yan you sooo...focus on your books....when she dump you come back to quote me because the assurance of she dumping you when its time no get odds atall...
Girls are the most useless thing on earth.........

the last sentence got me ...ah!!! Ghen!!!

MiVida:
I recently met a girl in school, she's all I want in a woman, she's too beautiful well mannered BUT, she is making life in school hard for me! I've taken her to my parents already and hers are trying to get to know me which is cool.

But the rate at which this girl monitors me in school is embarrassing! I don't have any female friends cos of her. I had to call a good friend of mine (a girl) this afternoon in front of her to tell the girl to keep her space just because my girlfriend saw me give her a hug! I didn't initiate the hug, the girl called out my name and opened her arms and to avoid being rude, you can't decline a hug and that was why it happened.

My girlfriend insists I don't keep female friends, in fact, she prefers I stay alone in school. I'm getting tired, I getting fed up, she's always monitoring me everywhere and I have a reputation to maintain in school. Now I can't laugh over a girl's joke cos I have a girlfriend and it's not like I have time for her in school as that's the only time I have my little freedom, cos outside school she's always at my place and it's suffocating enough...now she brings this attitude to school... I'm tired and don't know what to do!

Leezah:
Choose. Your girlfriend has reason to feel the way she does and you know it.

Maybe.

2 out of 2 times I have ever been jealous of an ex boyfriend's friend (not with every ex boyfriend was this an issue) it was found out later that the female friend was indeed crushing on my boyfriend. Women unlike men tend to “read” people well, especially other women. When in love a woman's intuition especially tends to intensify. Then again so does her jealousy so this can be a tricky situation that requires some reflection and honesty with yourself and openness with your girlfriend.

Some of what made me feel jealous in these times was intuition, but some things I just simply understand by being a female myself and having many female friends. I knew certain subtle things females do when they like a guy and saw it. Even personally I crushed on guy friends before and some never suspected it. So it's definitely possible your girlfriend sees something you don't.

Anyways, aside from intuition and certain gestures i saw, I noticed that these 2 boyfriends would run to the female friend with all the problems we had as though she was his “refuge”. This is growing intimacy with your friend instead of your girlfriend and a BIG NO-NO. It would have been better that they went to an older and wiser man for counsel than to her.

Although you may go to your female friend for advice with other problems you should never ever come to her with relationship problems. Friends of the opposite shouldn't know all the intimate details of your relationship. As soon as you have a girlfriend this is the most immediate way in which your friendship to your friend should change. By you coming to her you are now showing her what sort of romantic partner you are and how “romantically compatible” you now are with her.

Women are weird. As soon as you deeply open up about these conditions of your heart, etc, we cant help but to at least wonder if we are romantically compatible especially since we come out the womb being relationship/love oriented. Unless you want your female friend trying to now question secretively if you and her are compatible its best you leave her in the dark about this “intimate” side of you or only expose this side of you when you are single. Also don't break up with your girlfriend and the next day run to your female about the issues. Especially in young love people break up then 2 months later are back together.

Overall allowing a female friend to see these aspects of you should be when you are single (via the title of being single and via emotionally being untied to anyone). Then and only then you should share your romantic/relationship characteristics with your opposite sexed friend and even then just know you are opening the strong possibility that this friend will now start qualifying and disqualifying you as a romantic partner. If you want female advice then ask older women but maybe not your mom or those who would have too much bias and too easily take your side. Maybe Nairaland could be good however take every answer with a grain of salt including my own.

Honestly relationships and determining what is acceptable and not acceptable is personal and takes personal reflection. You can't just take advice for everything.

I especially think in today's world with so many boys raised without fathers its not good to get all your relationship do's and don't from females. You shouldn't think like a female when dating a female. You should think like a man. For the most part men have to be more patient and giving in certain areas of relationships and women should be more patient in other areas.

Learning intimate relationships is not like learning to be politically correct or learning what's publicly proper. Although I do recommend reading relationship books from people who share your same vision of intimate relationships dating someone is the foundation in an intimate world you are creating and everyone is different in what they can accept or what they prefer. People's preferences in love ranges from the most traditional to the grotesque…

Meditate on what you want. Overall if this is a woman who fits every aspect of your vision of an intimate relationship than her opinion does matter. At the end of a day you and HER will be the main creators of a world between your walls and conforming to her in all aspects that's reasonably possible and vice versa is key in making a lasting relationship (keyword:reasonable).

Overall there are many questions you have to ask before you seek to end your friendship. In my own situation both of these boyfriends much later “confessed” that they deeply knew the female friend liked them since I first mentioned my jealousy but they thought it wasn't a big deal unless they fed into it.

Personally I felt these were feeding into it (again men don't tend to know the world of female emotion as well). Can you honestly and I mean SINCERELY look at all the encounters with your female friend say that beyond a shadow of a doubt this friend has absolutely, and I mean absolutely has no crush on you? Honestly not even her having a boyfriend matters. Having a boyfriend doesn't stop one from having basic human desires towards another. In divorce courts we see this clearly, so of course in simply dating we can't deny this simple fact of life.

Anywho, despite my own experiences, at the end of the day I would not say it's the best solution to always cut off the female friend just because your girlfriend is jealous especially without considering these things I mentioned.

Many times we date just to date and practice a long term commitment.

Look at everything mentioned here, reflect, keep intimate problems away from opposite sexed friend, and determine your motivation in dating the woman you're with. Is she practice or is she the one?
Is she seeing something you don't or is it jealous?
Is it every female friend and interaction that makes her jealous or is it just this one friend?
Is not conforming to her in this way worth risking a lifetime of not having her by your side?
Many questions to ask before you take any action.