₦airaland Forum

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

humblemikel:
I feel you from here Op
But it's quite difficult loving a man you have no feelings for.
In short the situation is pathetic.
Reason why I'm still single
Guys I feel much attracted to hardly comes so easily
While the ones I feel absolutely nothing for grovels at my feet begging for attention.
It's really frustrating and I'm damn tired.

Eberechi24:
Being on this forum should teach you a lot. Many threads on this forum may be projected against women but there is bright side of it.

I recommend every woman to read Miseducation by Ubunjà esp the one's written for men and Dating drills by Harddoón You may not enjoy what you read but it's gonna help you guard yourself (heart)

Sometimes, you need read what you should know and not what you want to hear. Just like this thread. This thread is "undebateable" true.

Toks2008:
It did not click because you never wanted it to click.

How can you want to be with people no matter what they do to You? That is no longer feelings but foolishness.

And lastly, you can control your feelings and it will do you a whole lot of good if you start learning how to.

Omar09:
I don't know if you were actually conscious when you posted this. I mean you are asking women to reprogram themselves, and to do things for themselves. You are asking women to pause their emotions the thing they live and strive on, their skill? C'mon man, it's not possible. They'd rather die than do that. You don't tell a specie to not act on how nature built it. If you had asked men not to be emotional then I'd say you asked them to leave a terrain that's not theirs unto one which is theirs "logic".

Toks2008:
Have you ever heard these words from ladies?, "I know John truly wants me but i dont have any feelings for him but i have strong feelings for Jude yet he is treating me like trash"

Ladies are ruled by their feelings but unfortunately, many ladies have been sent to their early graves cos of this same feelings and many are down with mental illness and some are even locked up in psychiatry all in the name of feelings.

Now understand this; your feelings are very important but you also have the power to control it. Not every man who approaches you for romance really desires you and not every man who proposes marriage really wants you for the right reason so you need to really have a strong grip on your feelings and the first step to achieving this is to be self-sufficient in all ramifications to avoid hinging your feelings on the material things the guy can offer but rather on his true intent which is expressed in how he treats you.

Every lady has Phronesis(A type of wisdom or intelligence) that enables her know if a man sincerely wants her but she usually develops feelings for another who will most likely treat her like trash.

Your feelings can destroy you if channeled towards the wrong person so no matter how attractive that guy may look, no matter how sweet and smooth he sounds, no matter the material things he showers on you, no matter how good he is in bed, as vital as these qualities are, please always press the pause button on your feelings and observe him carefully for the right attributes. Yes people do change but a man who truly desires you will most likely always desire you regardless.

The movie Beauty and the beast is more than a fiction...one secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...this is a mystery... so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

I know this is extremely difficult for many ladies but it is the only way you can reduce the possibility of ending up in the wrong hands.

Hope this makes sense.

bukatyne:
I had to check to see I did not write this.

I don't expect any young lady on NL especially in the romance section to make certain mistakes in dating and choosing a mate.

His materials provide free resources for learning and self build up.

Kudos

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

franchasng:
Ladies listen to what he said. Don't be fooled by men claiming to love you, the saddest truth remains that men don't love, men are not created to love emotionally like women, they only lust for what they see, and like toks said, when that sexual attraction they saw in a lady and fell for her fades away, they carry on with tolerating her based on other good non-romantic and non-sexual qualities she has and this is what keeps married men going with their wives.

igboamakaaa:
I don't think you should generalise. I have mastered the act of control... everything just lies in your psychosis.
Well, I believe that no one is irreplaceable, and no matter how deep I have fallen with one, how intertwined we've grown into ourselves, or if it's been ages weve dated, it only takes two weeks for me to completely forget about the person and move on with my life.

This is one of the Gifts I thank God mostly for.
Possessing this skill has saved me from so many stupid distractions that would have veered me off course in life. I can't say so for many of my friends that have fallen victim to emotional and psychological trauma.

Toks2008:
You asked a question and you went ahead to answer

Well Men dont really love but they are only carried away by what they see and once that thing fades off they switch to tolerating that person.

If a man has 3 babes,no matter how sweet and good nature the three may be, he will always go for the one that is most sexually appealing to him.

samtoles:
Aunty, I pity for you o.

You strike me as the kind of lady who finds abusive guys appealing. Guys with good intentions who will treat you like a queen irritates you.

Dont worry, you won't have sense now. Your sense will come when you get married to someone who will make your life miserable and that stupid thing you call love will clear off your mumu eyes.

Aboguede:
I pray u are not a lady because if you are

Hahahha

You are heading to Shiloh or suicide loading

ornicus:
What a load of bullshit. Maybe oyibo ladies are ruled by feelings. But naija chicks are hard headed and pragmatic. In school, Enough fine boys were dumped by their chicks for less handsome toasters with jobs. The heck, when I was in school one chick no gree for me and was dating a gross looking older man.

This is just more of toks2008 patriarchal women are dumb BS.

Forget that nonsense. Women dumping their hot, good in bed , big Willy boy friends for stodgy 5 minute men who can provide is right in all our faces.

Is this really your opinion or you're just trying to impress that Poco babe?

I'm very well aware of your streak.

When will you pipe down on the asslicking ehn? When?

Ariza:
You are yet to make your point Sir.

humblemikel:
I feel you from here Op
But it's quite difficult loving a man you have no feelings for.
In short the situation is pathetic.
Reason why I'm still single
Guys I feel much attracted to hardly comes so easily
While the ones I feel absolutely nothing for grovels at my feet begging for attention.
It's really frustrating and I'm damn tired.

Ariza:
Oga Toks, simple question to you Sir. Can men learn to love? If so how do they do it? I have asked this question on ubunja's thread (No greenlight, No approach) once and even asked people offline but none has ever given me a satisfactory response. No one gave steps or guidelines to learning how to love. And I made this conclusion.

You can never learn to love, you can only learn to accept. There is a thin line between the two, a difference most people do not notice while some do. Loving someone comes naturally, it is an unintentional attachment to someone and unprepared attraction to a person.But accepting someone is an unnatural,intentional and prepared decision to take someone as a significant other. When you love someone,you want the best for him or her but when you accept someone,he or she is the best you think you can have. In Marriages/Relationships these days, people accept one another rather than love each other that is why it is so easy for them to question their decisions and flip over when a better person shows up. Unfortunately, your thread suggest this as the best way to relationship in the guise of loving who loves one which practically almost impossible to do.

But then I'm open to learning, maybe there's something I'm missing. So sir please answer my questions I typed earlier. I come in peace.

franchasng:
Quoting Toks2008.
A lady will know you don't treat her well, she sees the red flag but she is still madly in love with you, it's not their fault, it's how they are built by nature to be irrational and to be more of emotional beings acting based on their emotional feelings.
TOKS, what you wrote is easier for men to practice than for ladies cos ladies fall for a man based on emotional and irrational reasons while men fall for a lady most times based on sex appeal and during marriage they pick a spouse based on rational qualities not just sex appeal.

I don't know if you were actually conscious when you posted this. I mean you are asking women to reprogram themselves, and to do things for themselves. You are asking women to pause their emotions the thing they live and strive on, their skill? C'mon man, it's not possible. They'd rather die than do that. You don't tell a specie to not act on how nature built it. If you had asked men not to be emotional then I'd say you asked them to leave a terrain that's not theirs unto one which is theirs "logic".

humblemikel:
I feel you from here Op
But it's quite difficult loving a man you have no feelings for.
In short the situation is pathetic.
Reason why I'm still single
Guys I feel much attracted to hardly comes so easily
While the ones I feel absolutely nothing for grovels at my feet begging for attention.
It's really frustrating and I'm damn tired.

franchasng:
Quoting Toks2008.

Toks2008 you have said it all, don't add or remove.


Ladies listen to what he said. Don't be fooled by men claiming to love you, the saddest truth remains that men don't love, men are not created to love emotionally like women, they only lust for what they see, and like toks said, when that sexual attraction they saw in a lady and fell for her fades away, they carry on with tolerating her based on other good non-romantic and non-sexual qualities she has and this is what keeps married men going with their wives.



A lot of guys will come here to tell you how they love their girlfriend, how they love their wife, how they are different men, but the truth is they don't know who they are and they cannot even distinguish between love and lust and tolerance, e no concern me


Guys should never waste time or resources on a girl that proves stubborn for them. Once a girl says no to you, leave her, she doesn't naturally like u, she is trying hard to find a reason to accept u out of sympathy. Don't accept a sympathy relationship.


If a lady likes u, she will fall for you immediately. I speak from experience, no lady rejects a man of her dreams she has been fantasising about.


I am not proud of what I want to say, but to educate other guys, I will say it here.


I dated more than 100 girls (black, white, Asian, etc), both broke girls, poor girls, girls from rich family, working class earning big, just name it....and I learnt a lot in those period which helped to shape my understanding about women as a whole.

Women are irrational beings. They chose men to love, being caring and generous to a woman will never make her love u romantically, u are wasting your time. The guy she picks to love can be an armed robber, a drug addict, a killer, she will still love him and be working to help him change which never happens and reason lots of ladies get burnt a lot in dating and marriage trying to change the bad man they picked.

Men are rational beings especially when they want to marry, they gravitate towards ladies that value them when they want to marry, they don't wait till they feel butterflies, they marry the lady with the best rational qualities they want but not same with ladies unless they are too old, unattractive and marrying out of fear or pressure to escape menopause.


A lady will know you don't treat her well, she sees the red flag but she is still madly in love with you, it's not their fault, it's how they are built by nature to be irrational and to be more of emotional beings acting based on their emotional feelings.


TOKS, what you wrote is easier for men to practice than for ladies cos ladies fall for a man based on emotional and irrational reasons while men fall for a lady most times based on sex appeal and during marriage they pick a spouse based on rational qualities not just sex appeal.

One secret ladies don't know is that they can develop feelings for any guy who truly desires them and treats them like a queen even if that guy is totally opposite of what they want in terms of physical looks...it is a mystery so put your feelings on hold and observe keenly then give your feelings to a guy that is deserving of it.

@ the bolded is not true cos ive tried severally to develop feelings for one or two good guys I felt would make a perfect spouse but it just didn't click. And it took me years trying to see if there's a way I can build the love for these guys, or feel something for them but same same.
You can't really force this feelings or develop it yourself, it won't work. This things happen naturally and if it not there, it not there. That is why most marriages are having problems today because you have people advising you saying, " you can build love, love grows in marriage, just marry the man first and love will come later" jaggons. If it actually works like that, then it would have happened for me when I tried forcing it for those guys I talked about earlier.

Feeling is something you can't control. That is why when you feel something for someone, you can't control how fast it grows until it reaches a peak where it becomes a threat. Likewise you dont have the power to control your feelings and make it grow for someone it doesn't click with. It's a natural phenomenon beyond every living being.

Please let not be misguided.
I believe in true love with genuine feelings and that is what covers all sins. As in no matter what the person does to you, you still want to be with them.

It took me 4 years after my ex to fall in love again. And this new guy is a Nairalander. Yes! And this happened within a few weeks. But we had a little misunderstanding and I was heartbroken to which I confided in a guy here about how I felt. So he asked me, how long have I dated this new guy that the love hurts so badly. I told him just a few weeks and he went wow! Like is it not too early to love so deeply?
Now I didn't realized that my feelings had grown so fast and so deep for this guy until he mentioned it and I paused to think but realized its not my fault! Its how nature works and we can't control these things.

franchasng:
Quoting Toks2008.

Toks2008 you have said it all, don't add or remove.


Ladies listen to what he said. Don't be fooled by men claiming to love you, the saddest truth remains that men don't love, men are not created to love emotionally like women, they only lust for what they see, and like toks said, when that sexual attraction they saw in a lady and fell for her fades away, they carry on with tolerating her based on other good non-romantic and non-sexual qualities she has and this is what keeps married men going with their wives.



A lot of guys will come here to tell you how they love their girlfriend, how they love their wife, how they are different men, but the truth is they don't know who they are and they cannot even distinguish between love and lust and tolerance, e no concern me


Guys should never waste time or resources on a girl that proves stubborn for them. Once a girl says no to you, leave her, she doesn't naturally like u, she is trying hard to find a reason to accept u out of sympathy. Don't accept a sympathy relationship.


If a lady likes u, she will fall for you immediately. I speak from experience, no lady rejects a man of her dreams she has been fantasising about.


I am not proud of what I want to say, but to educate other guys, I will say it here.


I dated more than 100 girls (black, white, Asian, etc), both broke girls, poor girls, girls from rich family, working class earning big, just name it....and I learnt a lot in those period which helped to shape my understanding about women as a whole.

Women are irrational beings. They chose men to love, being caring and generous to a woman will never make her love u romantically, u are wasting your time. The guy she picks to love can be an armed robber, a drug addict, a killer, she will still love him and be working to help him change which never happens and reason lots of ladies get burnt a lot in dating and marriage trying to change the bad man they picked.

Men are rational beings especially when they want to marry, they gravitate towards ladies that value them when they want to marry, they don't wait till they feel butterflies, they marry the lady with the best rational qualities they want but not same with ladies unless they are too old, unattractive and marrying out of fear or pressure to escape menopause.


A lady will know you don't treat her well, she sees the red flag but she is still madly in love with you, it's not their fault, it's how they are built by nature to be irrational and to be more of emotional beings acting based on their emotional feelings.


TOKS, what you wrote is easier for men to practice than for ladies cos ladies fall for a man based on emotional and irrational reasons while men fall for a lady most times based on sex appeal and during marriage they pick a spouse based on rational qualities not just sex appeal.

AfroKnight:
Auntie, I didn’t mention that in my comment. Where you see am?

Toks2008:
Insightful