₦airaland Forum

KingZaddy:
ladies are lovers of attention, how do you intend to compete?

Probably when you are the only one. When there is another guy, to pick your call or even chat with you go hard. Use that your attention to go buy shares. Nonsense and ingredients.

[quote author=dejolly post=88099646]With money there are lot of advantages but go broke you will hate why you were born[/quote]Convince me more to believe this

KingZaddy:
ladies are lovers of attention, how do you intend to compete?

That's another point. I wonder how long it will take to comprehend

Michelle55:
Not worth it... Just stick to one because one woman is enough problem already,why are you trying to die young by having massive heartaches?

PS: and if you must become polygamous, make it 3 instead of 2... Because when those two will gang up against you, the 3rd will snitch on them to become your top priority and favorite heard this secret from one baddest grandpa in my area

I have been saying it here too. Always marry an "odd" number of women, so that you can have peace of mind.

pocohantas:
Probably when you are the only one. When there is another guy, to pick your call or even chat with you go hard. Use that your attention to go buy shares. Nonsense and ingredients.

hmmm, lady you sound like a lady who would plan a quiet and hurtful revenge.


And if you were his favourite wife?


since you didnt object to him taking a second wife then you shouldnt have a second choice (side guy)

I will advise that man should stick to one woman , marrying more than 1 wife will make a short life shorter . I have never seen a polygamous home with absolute peace and love I even interviewed a woman in the north she told me they are pretending as it works , Marriage is a serious test and problem of any man . if possible it is better not to marry but it is better to marry than to be messing around

phemmyflexxy:
It baffles me how some educated folks behave as though they are not logical in their reasoning.
Our knowledge and perception of polygamy has been shaped by what we are being fed from childhood. :a polygamous home is a battle field. the problem of Christianity and Islam was as a result of polygamy. it makes women inferior, women in polygamous homes are 2nd citizens...etc.
I was born and brought up in a polygamous home. I am still living with my step mum and my half brothers and sisters since my father died.
I can categorically tell u that polygamy is not the problem, but our mindset and misinformation about it.
Mine is/was a peaceful and loving polygamous home not without challenges though.
Let me give a list of the reasons why my home is a successful polygamous home;
1. Our mothers never planted hatred for our siblings in our minds, and if anyone of them was doing that, then her children are definitely not listening.
2. Each one of us was paired with a half brother/sister to eat together and where possible be in the same class at school. e.g. Me and my half twin brother attended same school most times same class up till NYSC and PGD, our friends are always marveled at our bond.
3. Our mothers are all business women, so they can take care of their personal uncommon needs, at some time even have a fatter wallet than my father.
4. My father was a disciplinarian and takes no nonsense, he was feared, loved and respected by everyone. Even when there is a quarrel, ones he honks his car at the gate, its game over.
To mention a few.
For this reasons there was more bond amongst we the children.... and that is a the core pillar of a successful polygamous home. we are a family of 20... I.e. 16 children to 3 mothers ratio 6:6:4.
I am the 7th child and the 3rd son of the family. I believe I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't pass through this family. I have benefitted more from my half siblings than my mother's fruits. I can't say no to my half siblings request like I do to mine. This is because I don't want them to think I'm bias towards them.
personally I still believe polygamy is the future.
presently on my street are a minimum of 4 unmarried women who are in their 40s, more than 12 single mothers, 1 divorcee, 8 widows including my elder sister and excluding my mothers and over 20 ripe single ladies. The gender ratio is 3:1 ladies to men.
My widowed sister has 3 kids already, her husband died when she was 34. The question I ask is would she remain single for rest of her life, or get married again. what are the chances for her to get a single man as against a married man ready to get take her as second or 3rd wife. or she will just have to suit her emotional and sexual needs wt different men who won't marry her (which makes her a public property) as the case of many of them on my street.
This applies to all the aforementioned categories. I can tell u that its just as difficult to get a married man to marry as it is to get a single man.
Many of the arguments above capitalized on the economy. For God's sake, we are in the 21st century, where women work and even earn more than men. And even if she is an housewife, who says she can't make millions from her bedroom... thanks to the internet. and yes, men don't want liabilities.
So I believe rather than all these categories of women competing and causing unrest in the world over the scanty limited men, the world will learn to be more peaceful if we all make a peaceful polygamous home possible by unlearning what we have been brainwashed wt . Ladies, i will advice u to accept the offer if any responsible married man wants to marry you. Go into the polygamous home not wt a battle prepared mind but with peace is possible mindset to contribute our own quota.
Married ladies should help their sisters by allowing them to come into their homes as wives and not as mistresses.
The Bible says love ur neighbour as thyself. Prophet Muhammed (saw) also said u are not yet a true believer until u love for ur neighbour what u love for yourself.

Nevertheless, not everyone can lead or be part of a polygamous setting. This has to do with your maturity, financial status, temperament and leadership skills.

Talking about advantages or disadvantages depends on which position you stand in the family... Husband/father, wife/mother or child...

As a father/husband...
Does your faith/belief allow you to? If yes, you have a better option than committing adultery. If no, stick to your belief system.
Can your financial status cope? If yes, you would be investing on children who may take care of your old age and help each instead of wasting it on oloshos and side chicks. If no, pls marry a working/business woman or stick to one.
Do you have the emotional intelligence to deal with women palava? If yes like my dad... You will build a big loving family like mine. If no pls don't marry at all

As a wife/mother
Does your faith/belief allow you to? If yes, you have a better option than committing fornication or being a side chick/public property.
Do you have a source of sustainance and can cater for your kids? If yes, go ahead and save yourself from depression and societal pressure, if no marry a wealthy man.
Do you have the emotional intelligence to deal with your fellow women as mates/rivals? If yes, you have an helper and save yourself a lot of burden, plus your children have spare mother's like me. If no, pls leave those who can to live in peace.

As a child.
It is not your choice to make but if you find your self in one....
You have spare mother's to care for you and possibly a bigger number of siblings to cater for or care for you. If you are lucky they are well to do... You have a better chance at it too.

Haven said all these, there is nothing wrong with polygamy except our attitude and mindset towards it. Same applies to monogamy. What baffles me is how we detest polygamy and endorse cheating husband's and baby mamas and mistresses.

Peace out...

Ode, keep on deceiving yourself, there's everything wrong with polygamy and its Because of stupid fools like you that think its mindset making some polygamy not peaceful.
The problem is jealousy, envy and natural human/African wickedness. I know people that are not marrying the same husband, yet out of jealousy one would destroy one. They are mere friends o, because her friend pass more than her, she turned her to enemy and destroyed her. 90% of human beings is like this, and that's why polygamy is a battle field, because its natural with the children of Adam. Go to federal government offices, and see how people do bad things to one another out of hate, spite, and jealousy. Especially in Federal universities and polytechnics, is it mindset that made these people to harm each other? Some professors do not even want PhD students to earn their PhD degree, likewise many supervisors without any prior offences.
Keep on deceiving yourself ehn, and enter into polygamy, you will hate your existence.
Its better to remain single and unmarried than to be in a polygamy, because its synonymous to heart attack. In this age that everyone is trying to grow, you will be arguing in stupid thing with a stupid fool abi. .
I'm in support of polygamy for some special cases though but personally I won't advise anyone because it's a death sentence

phemmyflexxy:
It baffles me how some educated folks behave as though they are not logical in their reasoning.
Our knowledge and perception of polygamy has been shaped by what we are being fed from childhood. :a polygamous home is a battle field. the problem of Christianity and Islam was as a result of polygamy. it makes women inferior, women in polygamous homes are 2nd citizens...etc.
I was born and brought up in a polygamous home. I am still living with my step mum and my half brothers and sisters since my father died.
I can categorically tell u that polygamy is not the problem, but our mindset and misinformation about it.
Mine is/was a peaceful and loving polygamous home not without challenges though.
Let me give a list of the reasons why my home is a successful polygamous home;
1. Our mothers never planted hatred for our siblings in our minds, and if anyone of them was doing that, then her children are definitely not listening.
2. Each one of us was paired with a half brother/sister to eat together and where possible be in the same class at school. e.g. Me and my half twin brother attended same school most times same class up till NYSC and PGD, our friends are always marveled at our bond.
3. Our mothers are all business women, so they can take care of their personal uncommon needs, at some time even have a fatter wallet than my father.
4. My father was a disciplinarian and takes no nonsense, he was feared, loved and respected by everyone. Even when there is a quarrel, ones he honks his car at the gate, its game over.
To mention a few.
For this reasons there was more bond amongst we the children.... and that is a the core pillar of a successful polygamous home. we are a family of 20... I.e. 16 children to 3 mothers ratio 6:6:4.
I am the 7th child and the 3rd son of the family. I believe I wouldn't be who I am today if I didn't pass through this family. I have benefitted more from my half siblings than my mother's fruits. I can't say no to my half siblings request like I do to mine. This is because I don't want them to think I'm bias towards them.
personally I still believe polygamy is the future.
presently on my street are a minimum of 4 unmarried women who are in their 40s, more than 12 single mothers, 1 divorcee, 8 widows including my elder sister and excluding my mothers and over 20 ripe single ladies. The gender ratio is 3:1 ladies to men.
My widowed sister has 3 kids already, her husband died when she was 34. The question I ask is would she remain single for rest of her life, or get married again. what are the chances for her to get a single man as against a married man ready to get take her as second or 3rd wife. or she will just have to suit her emotional and sexual needs wt different men who won't marry her (which makes her a public property) as the case of many of them on my street.
This applies to all the aforementioned categories. I can tell u that its just as difficult to get a married man to marry as it is to get a single man.
Many of the arguments above capitalized on the economy. For God's sake, we are in the 21st century, where women work and even earn more than men. And even if she is an housewife, who says she can't make millions from her bedroom... thanks to the internet. and yes, men don't want liabilities.
So I believe rather than all these categories of women competing and causing unrest in the world over the scanty limited men, the world will learn to be more peaceful if we all make a peaceful polygamous home possible by unlearning what we have been brainwashed wt . Ladies, i will advice u to accept the offer if any responsible married man wants to marry you. Go into the polygamous home not wt a battle prepared mind but with peace is possible mindset to contribute our own quota.
Married ladies should help their sisters by allowing them to come into their homes as wives and not as mistresses.
The Bible says love ur neighbour as thyself. Prophet Muhammed (saw) also said u are not yet a true believer until u love for ur neighbour what u love for yourself.

Nevertheless, not everyone can lead or be part of a polygamous setting. This has to do with your maturity, financial status, temperament and leadership skills.

Talking about advantages or disadvantages depends on which position you stand in the family... Husband/father, wife/mother or child...

As a father/husband...
Does your faith/belief allow you to? If yes, you have a better option than committing adultery. If no, stick to your belief system.
Can your financial status cope? If yes, you would be investing on children who may take care of your old age and help each instead of wasting it on oloshos and side chicks. If no, pls marry a working/business woman or stick to one.
Do you have the emotional intelligence to deal with women palava? If yes like my dad... You will build a big loving family like mine. If no pls don't marry at all

As a wife/mother
Does your faith/belief allow you to? If yes, you have a better option than committing fornication or being a side chick/public property.
Do you have a source of sustainance and can cater for your kids? If yes, go ahead and save yourself from depression and societal pressure, if no marry a wealthy man.
Do you have the emotional intelligence to deal with your fellow women as mates/rivals? If yes, you have an helper and save yourself a lot of burden, plus your children have spare mother's like me. If no, pls leave those who can to live in peace.

As a child.
It is not your choice to make but if you find your self in one....
You have spare mother's to care for you and possibly a bigger number of siblings to cater for or care for you. If you are lucky they are well to do... You have a better chance at it too.

Haven said all these, there is nothing wrong with polygamy except our attitude and mindset towards it. Same applies to monogamy. What baffles me is how we detest polygamy and endorse cheating husband's and baby mamas and mistresses.

Peace out...

Apart from mindset, polygamous family has its side effects. You forgot to tell us the negative effects on your part except you want to tell me there's none which i will find it hard to concur.
Before you will want to quote me, let me categorically tell u that I'm from a polygamous family too. There are some issues i can't even tell the closest person to me because of the fear of the unknown.

KingZaddy:
hmmm, lady you sound like a lady who would plan a quiet and hurtful revenge.


And if you were his favourite wife?


since you didnt object to him taking a second wife then you shouldnt have a second choice (side guy)

Oh, you are very discerning. I can’t be the favourite wife of a polygamist. I have no time and energy to object to a cheating Nigerian man. He should do what he wants to do and prepare for consequences.

listen to me and nobody else
advantages of polygamy
1.if you sell your eyes to educate your children, if their mother is your only wife, the first money they make, they take to their mother till shes satisfied
but in polygamy, they compete to have you love their mother first. you get 20% from this wife's children and 25% from that. making 50%
2.you have less urge for fornication unless you are doomed
3.there's competition between wives even when you dont drop money, they still beg you to eat their food
4. at old age, when your children are grown-ups, the house is usually in disarray. don't believe all you see on tvs. why, you want to stand your authority and they want to defend their mother. that's when the other wives children come in handy. they want to defend their father so long its not against their mother
5.if your wife dies suddenly, your children are all in hell unless you already have a 2nd wife who now sees them as hers
6.you are bound to quickly build a house as demand warrants
7.you learn to be just
8.this is the most important. look, unless your wife is very GOD-fearing, every single wife commits adultery. you only don't know. even as am typing, if you aren't with your wife, she's most probably doing something now. watch her. but in polygamy, they spie and watch over each other.
i could go on and on

pocohantas:
Oh, you are very discerning. I can’t be the favourite wife of a polygamist. I have no time and energy to object to a cheating Nigerian man. He should do what he wants to do and prepare for consequences.

funny enough i got a female friend quite similar to the way you talk on issues like this, she loves being called malificent.

still dont know why

1StopRudeness:
sure.....bet why would u wanna be happy and poor when you can be happy and be a billionaire at the same time....

U don't even know me, so why assume dt I'm poor? Our reasoning&approach to life differ. I know more to life than u think and I can confidently say dt I'm extremely satisfied & getting more satisfaction daily. Thanks.

drmikeadams:
[center][/center]

... and is that an ideal family?

barnny:
Does Marrying More Than One Wife In Anyway Has Advantage?

Please let's discuss and learn from different ethnic background if marrying more than a wife in anyway has advantage, disadvantage or either ways. I'm sure people from polygamous family might have learnt one or two lessons that will/might make them conclude that marrying more than a wife is a no no for them. While some believe there are still benefits in marrying more than one wife.

Note: this discussion is open for both Christians and Muslims including the atheist as far as we are here to learn, unlearn and relearn

I'm from a polygamous home. There are no benefits. Make the best of your one wife. Marriage to one person has enough problems and you stupidly now add an extra, do you think it will become easier? There will always be jealousy and resentment between the wives no matter how much we try and deceive ourselves.

Then, there's this issue of adultery. Many of these women cheat as the husbands can't satisfy them all.

It is only old age amongst the women that can tone things down. If one woman isn't enough for you, it is better you cheat than to bring another woman home.

Also, the financial burden is also there. It is killing. Things may be good when you marry the 2nd or 3rd wife but you may fall on hard times later. How do you cope? I know the challenges my dad faced. It wasn't easy at all. If my dad had been devoted to my mum and listened to her, he would have owned about 4 properties in Lagos alone.

We are a close-knit family. My father made sure we children all knew ourselves when young so that has erased animosity. There's however a small cold war smoldering between the 2nd and 3rd wives kids, all engineered by the 3rd wife over a disagreement she had with the 2nd.

How do you make sure you treat the children of all wives equally? Any perceived cheating may backfire in your old age. They may not pay you the deserved attention then since they may feel you neglected them.

grandstar:
I'm from a polygamous home. There are no benefits. Make the best of your one wife. Marriage to one person isn't has enough problems and you stupidly now add an extra, do you think it will become easier? There will always be jealousy and resentment between the wives no matter how much we try and deceive ourselves.

Then, there's this issue of adultery. Many of these women cheat as the husbands can't satisfy them all.

It is only old age amongst the women that can tone things down. If one woman isn't enough for you, it is better you cheat than to bring another woman home.

Also, the financial burden is also there. It is killing. Things may be good when you marry the 2nd or 3rd wife but you may fall on hard times later. How do you cope? I know the challenges my dad faced. It wasn't easy at all. If my dad had been devoted to my mum and listened to her, he would have owned about 4 properties in Lagos alone.

We are a close-knit family. My father made sure we children all knew ourselves when young so that has erased animosity. There's however a small cold war smoldering between the 2nd and 3rd wives kids, all engineered by the 3rd wife over a disagreement she had with the 2nd.

How do you make sure you treat the children of all wives equally? Any perceived cheating may backfire in your old age. They may not pay you the deserved attention then since they may feel you neglected them.

. U have said it all ,,person wey get ear make e hear,,, thread closed for

Mizwisdom:
Ned is not clean, but won't go further. I pray we will witness what will happen in his household when he departs. You're joking with polygamy? if you're a Christian, I hope you realize that it's the reason Islam was formed. Today, how is the world enjoying our Muslim brethren existence?(I mean the extremists amongst them)

Today is Saturday, Please, Bikonu, Dalu Give us gist!

Michelle55:
Not worth it... Just stick to one because one woman is enough problem already,why are you trying to die young by having massive heartaches?

PS: and if you must become polygamous, make it 3 instead of 2... Because when those two will gang up against you, the 3rd will snitch on them to become your top priority and favorite heard this secret from one baddest grandpa in my area

LooL, now that's top notch Information

mignone:
U don't even know me, so why assume dt I'm poor? Our reasoning&approach to life differ. I know more to life than u think and I can confidently say dt I'm extremely satisfied & getting more satisfaction daily. Thanks.

Geez!! You are about entering overdrive...Incase you haven’t noticed this is all fun ma’am...u are getting PMS and personal about an unserious matter...
I guess it’s hard to decipher tone and sarcasm in a written text....and u are right, I don’t know you, lets leave it that way....thanks for indulging me since morning anyways ..peace

1StopRudeness:
Geez!! You are about entering overdrive...Incase you haven’t noticed this is all fun ma’am...u are getting PMS and personal about an unserious matter...
I guess it’s hard to decipher tone and sarcasm in a written text....and u are right, I don’t know you, lets leave it that way....thanks for indulging me since morning anyways ..peace

Wow! U can so assume. It's fine though. Bye

mu2sa2:
Ironically, many will think you got "expatiate" (pronounced ix- pei-shi - et) wrong, but that is the correct form of the misspelled "expantiate". There is no word in english "expantiate". If not sure of how to use expatiate, why don't people use familiar words like explain or clarify and save themselves the embarrassment of using a non-existing "big" word with a wrong pronunciation 'ex-PAN-shi-et'.

Who ask you?

How many wives you get?

mu2sa2:
Ironically, many will think you got "expatiate" (pronounced ix- pei-shi - et) wrong, but that is the correct form of the misspelled "expantiate". There is no word in english "expantiate". If not sure of how to use expatiate, why don't people use familiar words like explain or clarify and save themselves the embarrassment of using a non-existing "big" word with a wrong pronunciation 'ex-PAN-shi-et'.

Who ask you?
You just write JAMB?
How many wives you get?

grandstar:
I'm from a polygamous home. There are no benefits. Make the best of your one wife. Marriage to one person has enough problems and you stupidly now add an extra, do you think it will become easier? There will always be jealousy and resentment between the wives no matter how much we try and deceive ourselves.

Then, there's this issue of adultery. Many of these women cheat as the husbands can't satisfy them all.

It is only old age amongst the women that can tone things down. If one woman isn't enough for you, it is better you cheat than to bring another woman home.

Also, the financial burden is also there. It is killing. Things may be good when you marry the 2nd or 3rd wife but you may fall on hard times later. How do you cope? I know the challenges my dad faced. It wasn't easy at all. If my dad had been devoted to my mum and listened to her, he would have owned about 4 properties in Lagos alone.

We are a close-knit family. My father made sure we children all knew ourselves when young so that has erased animosity. There's however a small cold war smoldering between the 2nd and 3rd wives kids, all engineered by the 3rd wife over a disagreement she had with the 2nd.

How do you make sure you treat the children of all wives equally? Any perceived cheating may backfire in your old age. They may not pay you the deserved . then since they may feel you neglected them.

Even if you marry one wife they will still cheat.
Women even cheat more than men and many men are raising other people's children
The question of benefits is

Benefits for whom?

The man, the wives,the children or society?

Sometimes a man may decide not to divorce even though the marriage is dead because of what people would say,the children etc and he still needs love,intimacy etc .what should he do
Imagine when the wife closes the gate to the Promised Land permanently.
What is a man supposed to do?

In fact one can ask is there benefit in marriage at all even to one wife?

If you are poor polygamy is not a great idea but if you have money why not.
Some practice serial monogamy. Marry,divorce and remarry every so often but only one woman at a timeeg Obasa jo ,each to his own
Atiku seems quite happy

ARE YOU SAYING THAT POLYGAMISTS DON'T FLIRT AROUND OR HAVE SIDE CHICKS\BABA MAMAS? I KNOW QUITE A LOT OF THEM.

MrBrownJay1:
advantages:
its best to have all your kids under one roof than scattered everywhere and them not knowing one another
its best to have all your wives under one roof so you can control and sort any issue on the spot
its best to be honest about who you are and be who you desire to be....especially if you want to fukc every sexy single women out there


so you believe its ok to cheat on your wife with unilag olosho...?

EJanni:
Polygamy is worse than covid-19. When contracted, it breeds jealousy, hatred, diabolism, killing etc. I have never seen any polygamous man who's actually happy. It doesn't worth anything.

Lai EJanni Muhammed

tete7000:
What can you make of this passage of Matthew 16:

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
Matthew 19:4‭-‬6 NIV

Abi you know more than Christ, the Son of God?


Please note the bolded :
1.Singular male and female
2.Two, not three not four, not five
3.a man (singular) united to his wife (singular), not wives (plural)

But what about the Bible verse where it stated that 7 women will be ready to marry a man.

gaskiyamagana:
But what about the Bible verse where it stated that 7 women will be ready to marry a man.

You talk of Isaiah 4:1. That verse prophesies a doom for daughters of Zion for abandoning God and sinning. It Is actually the continuation of Isaiah 3 and cannot be read in isolation. I will help you, from Isaiah 3 we read,

The Lord says, “The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, strutting along with swaying hips, with ornaments jingling on their ankles. Therefore the Lord will bring sores on the heads of the women of Zion; the Lord will make their scalps bald.” In that day the Lord will snatch away their finery: the bangles and headbands and crescent necklaces, the headdresses and anklets and sashes, the perfume bottles and charms, Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well-dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding. Your men will fall by the sword, your warriors in battle. The gates of Zion will lament and mourn; destitute, she will sit on the ground.
Isaiah 3:16‭-‬18‭, ‬20‭, ‬24‭-‬26

This continues in Isaiah 4 thus, remember the men have fallen by swords in 3 so they are in short supply:

In that day seven women will take hold of one man and say, “We will eat our own food and provide our own clothes; only let us be called by your name. Take away our disgrace!”
Isaiah 4:1 NIV
https://isaiah.bible/isaiah-4-1

0m0nnakoda:
Who ask you?
You just write JAMB?
How many wives you get?

If you have nothing to do must you come and do it here?

gaskiyamagana:
Lai EJanni Muhammed

Lol, it's the fact

The second one should be a non career woman

femi4:
And if the second wife is pursuing career too nko

1StopRudeness:
u watch too much Africa magic....what u just painted happens in movies....cos I just called Dangote, Atiku and Ned Nwoko, they all said all their wives don’t gang up...even the new one Regina Daniels behaves.....and all three of them are over 65years old...So where did U get the dying young part from??

Then how old is Ned?