peace0813:
I think what you should focus on doing now is to overcome masturbating before considering a relationship.

I'm telling you, most of the guys here saying s**t like go get a girl, go get a girl as if a girl is a candy u lick and suddenly feel alright. Or water that you'll drink and quench your thirst shaperly.
Op is obviously on a withdrawal syndrome from a long habitual act and I think rushing into a relationship based on this current hormonal surge would be a selfish decision( u do it just because u think it will make you feel good) and you will fail to see that the girl ni sef is human being that also will have needs and maybe more problems sef.
Thing is there is much much more to these social relationships (especially heterosexual) than sexual acts.
Getting is girl is one and having a healthy relationship(whether short or long term) with her is another. As it can be a fulfilling experience or a complete waste of time and money which can cause more regrets and maybe hate.

So to the op, well i will start by saying kudos to your efforts so far,but while quitting this act completely, I think you should work on your self esteem and social skills esp around the opposite sex(as that is where you seem to be lagging).
When you are more comfortable in your life and more confident around women socially, then you can talk of getting a girl.
Sometimes hormonal impulses esp during withdrawal periods from addictions can make u think u need something u really Don't. If there is one thing I know about relationships, it is not something you should rush into.

Perhaps you are burn again. I will advice you should go deeper in fasting & prayers. Probably go for a serious deliverance in if these churches like Mountain of fire after which you go and chose one of these girls and get marry. My dear, you must marry. When you marry, you must out this mess, trust God!

kecee99:
Op, were so much alike except for the fact am 21. Never had a girlfriend and zero female friends. I'm seriously tired and depressed
Although it might be because am fvcking cute and my stupid ego won't let me approach any babe

Who dash monkey Banana?

See this atutupoyoyo oh! Worwor pikin wey dey form handsome, clap for yourself, well-done

People dont know that when u over mastubate as a guy u tend not to have feelings for girls..it kills ur self esteem .u begin to imagine things once u see a girl on short skirt...the first thing that comes to ur mind is her ass if d lady is standing at ur front..u leave the girl rush home..enter ur room luck d door and u start seeing that same girl in ur mind that u raised her skirt.then u self service with soap...it continues like this everyday and befor u know its 8 years.psycholically u have changed ur mental state...some end up not marrying early or they become gays. Girls are not left out samething happens to girls they become lesbians or less attracted to men.its a serious prob and difficult to pull out.very bad

Iyiataata92:

He didn't quit. Everybody is at home now so he's not getting enough privacy for his daily session so he's on a short break.
Addictions like self service is one of the most difficult to control, not even quit. I'm not cursing him but I know he will surely go back to it.
BTW, his dick is presently getting the much needed rest after 8 turbulent years. It hasn't been rosy at all for little Mr Jon Thomas.
May God help that dick

Kingzizu:
Good day,

I've been masturbating at an average of twice a day for the past 8 years, I really can't explain how it got to that level but I was so addicted to it that I could self-service when I'm sick or even fasting.

So recently I decided to call it quit, it's been 1 month now and it seems I'm waking up to the reality of not being in a relationship all my life, I'm 26 BTW and I've never felt so much urge and desire to be in a relationship as I'm feeling right now. I'm always of the opinion that I don't need a girl now and would definitely get one when I'm ready to settle down but it seems very hard for me to approach a girl and the thought of being in a relationship scares me, I feel the relationship might not last, I might not be committed and the girl might get bored and leave.

Through out my stay in the university and my NYSC days I had no single female friend and presently I have no female friend. When I'm in the midst of people I don't give audience at all to any female and might not even speak to them but I have lots of male friends, I know I'm not gay but I just don't feel that need to talk to a girl or keep up with them, I don't even have a single female contact on my phone.

I'm working and fairly comfortable now but I'm beginning to worry that I might not be able to fall in love or even get to approach a lady for any meaningful relationship and the worst of it all is relapsing (start masturbating again). Please I need your advice.

No Advice for you because you are foolish human being at 26

Coronavirus1:

No Advice for you because you are foolish human being at 26

not his fault bro mastubatuon is a mental psychiatric prob...he alone can emancipate himself from this slavery.very difficult o

BonPatrick:
I disagree with him I masturbate too for 6 years and I still have girlfriends and I Bleep well.

You mean you still masturbated while you had girlfriends?

smith666999:
YOU DON'T HAVE FEMALE CONTACT ON YOUR PHONE?
THAT'S A BIG FAT LIE!

WHAT OF YOUR MOM, SISTERS, NIECES ETC,
YOU DON'T HAVE THEIR NUMBERS TOO?

DON'T BE A BLOODY LIAR ABEG!

Can't you use your sense at all ? Must everything be spelt black & white to you.

Kingzizu:
Good day,

I've been masturbating at an average of twice a day for the past 8 years, I really can't explain how it got to that level but I was so addicted to it that I could self-service when I'm sick or even fasting.

So recently I decided to call it quit, it's been 1 month now and it seems I'm waking up to the reality of not being in a relationship all my life, I'm 26 BTW and I've never felt so much urge and desire to be in a relationship as I'm feeling right now. I'm always of the opinion that I don't need a girl now and would definitely get one when I'm ready to settle down but it seems very hard for me to approach a girl and the thought of being in a relationship scares me, I feel the relationship might not last, I might not be committed and the girl might get bored and leave.

Through out my stay in the university and my NYSC days I had no single female friend and presently I have no female friend. When I'm in the midst of people I don't give audience at all to any female and might not even speak to them but I have lots of male friends, I know I'm not gay but I just don't feel that need to talk to a girl or keep up with them, I don't even have a single female contact on my phone.

I'm working and fairly comfortable now but I'm beginning to worry that I might not be able to fall in love or even get to approach a lady for any meaningful relationship and the worst of it all is relapsing (start masturbating again). Please I need your advice.

One month is too small to start celebrating. I went 552 days without masturbating but still went on to relapse last month cauz of this lockdown shit. Masturbation is far addictive than anything else in this world.Though I've sworn never to do it again even though it's gonna cost me my dick or my life.
Advice to non masturbators: Don't indulged into masturbation bcauz once you're in, its almost impossible to get out. Masturbation leaves you with nothing but immense depression, weakness, low self esteem, loss of appetite to everything... The list is endless.

kecee99:
One month is too small to start celebrating. I went 552 days without masturbating but still went on to relapsed last week cauz of this lockdown shit. Masturbation is far addictive than anything else in this world.Though I've sworn never to do it again even though it's gonna cost me my dick or my life.
Advice to non masturbators: Don't indulged into masturbation bcauz once you're in, its almost impossible to get out. Masturbation leaves you with nothing but immense depression, weakness, low self esteem, loss of appetite to everything... The list is endless.

How did you count the days? And were there periods you had nocturnal emission?

lebete3000:


Who dash monkey Banana?

See this atutupoyoyo oh! Worwor pikin wey dey form handsome, clap for yourself, well-done

Bros, I didn't quote ur jealous ass o

Abeg if ur mama born you ugly it aren't my fault. Pls, pack ur ugly ass at the bus stop biko

Kingzizu:
Good day,

I've been masturbating at an average of twice a day for the past 8 years, I really can't explain how it got to that level but I was so addicted to it that I could self-service when I'm sick or even fasting.

So recently I decided to call it quit, it's been 1 month now and it seems I'm waking up to the reality of not being in a relationship all my life, I'm 26 BTW and I've never felt so much urge and desire to be in a relationship as I'm feeling right now. I'm always of the opinion that I don't need a girl now and would definitely get one when I'm ready to settle down but it seems very hard for me to approach a girl and the thought of being in a relationship scares me, I feel the relationship might not last, I might not be committed and the girl might get bored and leave.

I'm working and fairly comfortable now but I'm beginning to worry that I might not be able to fall in love or even get to approach a lady for any meaningful relationship and the worst of it all is relapsing (start masturbating again). Please I need your advice.

WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT?

U said u are addicted to mastubation..u are trying to stop...in fact you are one month mastubation free now. But now you need a relationship with a girl.

It is like an addicted cigarette smoker quitting cigarette only to pick up *weed*. Does *weed* stop him from smoking? NO.

The only advantage of relationship is that it might lead to marriage hence you won't be alone. Its like having a new room mate..u can't just pull out ur stuff and start mastubating any time u want plus u have more responsibility (busy busy). So mastubation REDUCES (not stop, it will take a while to stop..if u want it to) drastically.
But not all relationship leads to marriage.. so u c my point. Ordinary relationship doesn't stop an addict from mastubation.. in fact it encourages him. And not all girls u meet will be willing to pull down their pants for u on a daily basis..knowing fully well that they themselves are not yet married.

I can keep on going like this but enough talk, lemi point out some mistakes I think you are making n possible solutions.

U think mastubation is the reason you avoid girls the way u said u have:

News flash: You are wrong... a lot of people have like PHD in mastubation and go around interacting with girls of all kinds.

From your explanations, I think your problem is shyness accompanied with the fact that u don't engage yourself in activities.

Likely solutions:Girls are not just going to start raining down on your roof. If u want to make female friends.. u have to go out to look for them.

Engage yourselves in some activities..it could be a dance class, a sporting activity, church activities, educational activities etc. Just make sure it is not activies dominated by males (e.g football). Go there with intension of making friends and improving yourself not otherwise.

NOTE: This does not stop you from mastubating..stopping mastubation is a systematic process. Addictions are gradually developed over time..so trying to stop it all at once is mostly impossible except by the grace of God. Its like a car running 100 miles per hour. You don't just hold the break at once...its gradually. I would have like to give u more details but mehn! am tired of typing.


Take care bro..remember Jesus loves you. You don't need to carry your burden alone..talk to him.

Iyiataata92:
You've been masturbating at an average of 2 times a day for 8 years. Average in the sense that anyday you miss your session, you go on 4 times the next day to cover the missed count.
If that's true bro, then you need to apologise to your Jon Thomas for 8 rough years misappropriation and maladministration.
That dick won't be proud of you as the owner

......Is dat ur own piece of advice?

kecee99:
Bro, I didn't quote ur jealous ass o

Abeg pack ur ugly ass at the bus stop biko

You already know what you gotta do, that is: "go fvck yourself"

Wanksta...

Kingzizu:
Good day,

I've been masturbating at an average of twice a day for the past 8 years, I really can't explain how it got to that level but I was so addicted to it that I could self-service when I'm sick or even fasting.

So recently I decided to call it quit, it's been 1 month now and it seems I'm waking up to the reality of not being in a relationship all my life, I'm 26 BTW and I've never felt so much urge and desire to be in a relationship as I'm feeling right now. I'm always of the opinion that I don't need a girl now and would definitely get one when I'm ready to settle down but it seems very hard for me to approach a girl and the thought of being in a relationship scares me, I feel the relationship might not last, I might not be committed and the girl might get bored and leave.

Through out my stay in the university and my NYSC days I had no single female friend and presently I have no female friend. When I'm in the midst of people I don't give audience at all to any female and might not even speak to them but I have lots of male friends, I know I'm not gay but I just don't feel that need to talk to a girl or keep up with them, I don't even have a single female contact on my phone.

I'm working and fairly comfortable now but I'm beginning to worry that I might not be able to fall in love or even get to approach a lady for any meaningful relationship and the worst of it all is relapsing (start masturbating again). Please I need your advice.

Brother, the problem is not even masturbating or anything you're thinking, it's just that we're in 2020.
Have you thought about it this way? Why didn't any girl try to have sex with you? I'm very sure if a girl texted you and she told you she was interested in you, all these wouldn't have gone down this way. Why didn't a girl make a move on you when it's not that you're a goat? Even ugly girls! Don't they get hoorrrnnyy? Open your mind!

NIGERIAN WOMEN are the problem. Most Nigerian women/ young girls' pussssays are so dried out from poverty or the fear of it. You probably tried to hit on one or two girls subtly but they didn't give a rats ass to follow up because you're either not rich enough or wearing fake balanciaga to please their dirty retarded taste.

Leave your life bro. Make money. A lot of it! And travel out. White girls will love you for just being able to smile but for now jerk off if you wanna but make sure you're working really really hard and getting rich at the same time. Love? Love doesn't exist in Nigeria lmao. Girls would have loved you for being you if it really existed. What Nigerian girls love the most is security and I don't blame them! Their forefathers are poverty stricken from years of Obasanjo looting... so just do you... literally. And enjoy your life!

frozen70:


Your worries and fear will gulp you if you don't summons courage to all to a girl

You never had time for women because you can masturbate and easy yourself

Good a thing you had tried to drop it and the real sex urge becomes more intense and no female friend

How could you not have a girl friend, they you stop masturbating, why not stop the hormones that poops the sex urge

Your case is like a mother that wants to ween her child from breast milk yet she did not provide provision to caution the effect of hunger in tgat child

Pls be bold enough to approach a middle class or even low class lady, left for me start from the average

Stop being scared of going into a relationship, no body has the sweetest and the best relationships on eare

If you continue your solo life, even at 45yrs you will be like that

Ask your fellow guys to spark the liefor you and you will learn how to approach a woman

Nature has given you the power to do that, Thats why you are a man

Good one.

Kingzizu:
Good day,

I've been masturbating at an average of twice a day for the past 8 years, I really can't explain how it got to that level but I was so addicted to it that I could self-service when I'm sick or even fasting.

So recently I decided to call it quit, it's been 1 month now and it seems I'm waking up to the reality of not being in a relationship all my life, I'm 26 BTW and I've never felt so much urge and desire to be in a relationship as I'm feeling right now. I'm always of the opinion that I don't need a girl now and would definitely get one when I'm ready to settle down but it seems very hard for me to approach a girl and the thought of being in a relationship scares me, I feel the relationship might not last, I might not be committed and the girl might get bored and leave.

Through out my stay in the university and my NYSC days I had no single female friend and presently I have no female friend. When I'm in the midst of people I don't give audience at all to any female and might not even speak to them but I have lots of male friends, I know I'm not gay but I just don't feel that need to talk to a girl or keep up with them, I don't even have a single female contact on my phone.

I'm working and fairly comfortable now but I'm beginning to worry that I might not be able to fall in love or even get to approach a lady for any meaningful relationship and the worst of it all is relapsing (start masturbating again). Please I need your advice.

I’m also having this problem too... I don’t see any positive vibes about ladie.

Iyiataata92:
You've been masturbating at an average of 2 times a day for 8 years. Average in the sense that anyday you miss your session, you go on 4 times the next day to cover the missed count.
If that's true bro, then you need to apologise to your Jon Thomas for 8 rough years misappropriation and maladministration.
That dick won't be proud of you as the owner

Na wa o for you o bro

enemyofprogress:
The way some nairaland babes go rush you especially SharonLoveth , na you go tire

He no go tire

kalufelix:
Follow the urge ..how long do you intend to be on celibacy...learn with olosho na human beings them be ..it should be easier for you .... (i am not talking about the shagging part) from there you will see yourself interacting with the opp sex ...One month is too delicate to start celebrating...If you ever relapse you'd wish you never stopped...wanking is just a pseudo sex...the only true remedy is the real sex which is an exchange of energy rather than a waste of energy...

You're a true king!! I told him pretty much the same thing.

There are quite a number of ways to stop masturbation...I like to call this method the 'RESET' and it will take a long time say 90 days minimum, i mean is already a habit and to stop any habit takes time and devotion, lots of brain work too but its worth d time...boost of self confident,productivity and lots of em

ezra1990:
......Is dat ur own piece of advice?

There's nothing you can advise a self-service addict.

lebete3000:


You already know what you gotta do, that is: "com fvck me"

Exwanksta...

Gay

lebete3000:


How did you count the days? And were there periods you had nocturnal emission?

With Abacus
Yes wanksta

They are all addictions, mind you if you are a young man trying to get his finances in order. Leave naija girls alone na money sucking liabilities most of them be. Because you don’t want to masturbate now fall In a naija girls trap. NA FROM FRYING PAN TO FIRE � BE THAT.

See the post below this one on the home page. See as the gf treat am, na their normal way.

If ever this is a true story,please do not listen to pple advising you to go for sex.Remember that there are bad advisers and blind leaders of the blind...For you to be free...Remember,it's not just about the solutions for now,it's d solution that will be established...The following may be hard but u will b free from the demon of it if you
-Stop watching immoral films
-Fast continual
-Pray and desire God to set you free
-Dont read posts,look at nude pictures or cleavages..In short,be careful of what you see
And if it seems you are about to fall into the pit,DON'T EVER GIVE UP OF CRYING FOR THE SALVATION OF YOUR SOUL.JESUS SAVES AND LOVES YOU BROTHER AND I DO.
And lastly,do away from friends who love such.They are even on this nairaland platform

My advice is actually 4rm a book I was reading not too long ago.
The individual caught up in an out-of-control sexual behav￾ior generally feels deeply isolated and shameful. This keeps what
is broken in the soul sequestered in the darkness—out of the
light of relationship with God and others, where there can be
neither help nor resolution. His sexuality takes on a life of its
own, unreal and fantasy-driven.
And let me conclude with this, it is not a battle for your will. Sayings such as " I will never do this again" is actually pitting you against a boundryless part of your will.. Forget self-help it doesn't work. Best u can do now is find another person to be accountable to.

tsmith:


Register for classes or fun sessions that will bring you in regular and close contact with the opposite sex. Salsa or a dance class comes to.mind.... you'd be learning something new and getting interactive sessions with women which can help you build up your confidence, ad get you comfortable with women. Depending on where you live there are salsa classes almost every night in places like the island, surulere and ikeja

What? Lmao! What in the world are you even talking about!! You're probably a denying masturbator who thinks the world works like in the movies and hopes he'll one day wake up, and like magic be dramatic but eventually join a dance class and Bleep all the dance girls. Lmao!

GeoOla25:

Break it down

First he stopped masturbating, then he started seeing through walls and diagnosing people with organ conditions. Not too long after he started jumping superhumanly high and a week later he flew. Flying became a normal thing thereafter. I’ve not seen him since. Last I heard he’s in a Middle Eastern country fighting terrorists.