₦airaland Forum

RuudVanNisteroy:
Our country is the world's poverty capital and nothing works. We have no right to criticize black Americans, when we don't even have 24 hour electricity. And when Nigerian youths are risking their lives through the Sahara Desert and the Mediterrean Sea to get to Europe.

TrippleEEE:
Check most of the animals , it is a natural instinct of the female species to Take Care of the Family especially the children But Humans want to change it because it's "male dominance ". Bittered and lazy set of women! I pray they get that equality they are looking for- alongside the curse it brings.


Bro. Nice write-up ! I learnt slot

anonymous1759:
...

You can't eat your cake and have it. That's the Summary of the entire write up. On the other hand never let anyone use you as a plan B. If you don't accept me for who I'm today, don't expect me to accept you when I become the man of your dreams tomorrow it's that simple.

If there's one thing I cherish from a lady is loyalty any foreigner who treats Me like a brother or boyfriend is my bae, any Nigerian girl that treats me like a stranger she's automatically a stranger if you don't show me love done expect me to reciprocate it.

Religion, ethnicity, race, nationality etc.. Are all tools to divide us, what really matters is the individual's soul, so don't over look someone that gave you all the love when you're in need and give a modafuckers a second chance because you share the ethnicity or Nationality.

fatymore:
Any abroad base looking for wife in Nigeria?

Come and marry me

WeRblessed:
First of all, the most friendliest people to ever come across on American campuses are Nigerians.

It's a blatant lie that they didn't want to associate with you because you're 'fresh out off boat'.

Everything you said is quite a huge lie and exaggerated.

You will not judge other Nigerians based on your experience with perhaps a small community college somewhere in America.

I have a lot of Nigeria friends. In fact, had quite a lot of them when I was still in college, even at medical school. They had great experiences in American college campuses. They had boyfriends of which some of them are married to their boyfriends today. Not all Nigerian college student come from a rich and influential family. Just to oppose what you said.

Another big fat freaking lie is where you said by the time they are 25 the guys they rejected at 22 are now making 7 figures. Where exactly in America are graduates with three years experience making 6 figures talkless of 7 figures? Are you insane? Even most surgeons with 20 years experience don't even make 6 figures talkless of a fresh graduate. If you are able to make $35,000 a year for at least three years just thank God.

I don't know who you are and what you are trying to achieve by writing this. Your write ups are totally exaggerated lies. Please do your research on Nigerian international students in America. Conduct your study and research from at least ten campuses and cities about Nigerian students-life in America before making your conclusive statements that is based on your own personal experience.

Nigerian students are not lonely. You are in college to study and work if you are available to work off campus or work-study on campus. It's not a Nigerian campus or college where some people's aim of going to college is to make boyfriends and hang around sugar daddies.

American college is real! What you write is what you get. No one has time to fool around after huge financial aid one took to study. No time to sleep around on campus when majority of them are studying and working part time or fulltime while maintaining their good GPAs.

If you got into American college with the mindset of making boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, talkless of marriage you are the biggest joker of the century. Do that sh#t in Nigeria.

Average American college student graduates at the age of 22 or 23. They get a job and start a career before talking about marriage. Some might want to go to graduate school or medical school, but Americans dont waste their money chasing a master degree or PhD while they dont have a good paying job first. They dont even give a hute about masters or PhD. Only Nigerians do care about them without first getting a job experience and skills. I finished my four year degree at the age of 21.

My point is that Nigerian students in America should focus on their studies. But they are not lonely.

Decryptor:
@bolded, well said! Don't mind the OP trying to massage the ego of Nigerian women on his post! I will travel abroad and see a Caucasian woman who will cook and drive miles away to come give it to me and ignore her for a Nigerian hag who is b*tchy and giving me attitude because i want to retain the Nigerian spirit and "honor our women"...Mtchewwww!!!

femijck:
I was a bit shocked with the 7 figures though......maybe it's about time I leave NZ for US ahhahahah

fatymore:
But wait...were you hurt and your resources taken away...cos I don't understand this bitterness from you

broadally2:
Nice writeup but I'm wondering why I didn't spot words like, gonna, wanna, ain't in the piece. Are u sure u are in America abi na Amerika you dey school?

Crispels:
ON A FINAL NOTE:

Dating abroad is totally different from dating in Nigeria. There are lots of cultural differences and you must really understand these differences before shooting any shot - otherwise: you will make terrible mistakes that may ruin your reputation, mental health and growth. You may even be hated and ghosted by certain people. In America for instance, dating apps is a big deal and things happen so fast - compared to Nigeria where on the average, things take longer.

If you are a Nigerian guy and you think it is the sole responsibility of your girlfriend(wife) to cook and take care of the family - then your stupi**d patriarchy mentality will fail you big time abroad.
Most Nigerian - American girls dislike some Nigerian guys (particularly those who grew up in Nigeria) due to this kind of patriarchy and “male dominance” mentality. Many Nigerian - American girls as a result of strong upbringing by their families can cook really well(even our egusi and other Naija food) but they will hate you if you make it look like it’s their responsibility to cook for you all the time. You must also get to the kitchen - do the dishes, wash the meat, clean the tables and even cook some food as well! Everything is 50-50 in America!!! Your wife(or even girlfriend) is not your slave and it’s high time most Nigerian guys(even those based in Ibadan, Uyo, Kano and Enugu) start realizing this.

WE NEED TO TREAT OUR WOMEN LIKE QUEENS, JEWELS AND SUPPORT THEM IN THE KITCHEN, THEIR CAREERS AND IN EVERY OTHER AREA.

tydi:
My own is that I'm setting down with a white woman and nothing is stopping me.

Decryptor:
@bolded, well said! Don't mind the OP trying to massage the ego of Nigerian women on his post! I will travel abroad and see a Caucasian woman who will cook and drive miles away to come give it to me and ignore her for a Nigerian hag who is b*tchy and giving me attitude because i want to retain the Nigerian spirit and "honor our women"...Mtchewwww!!!

HeavenlyCherub:
Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

HeavenlyCherub:
Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

femijck:
I was a bit shocked with the 7 figures though......maybe it's about time I leave NZ for US ahhahahah

Crispels:
Lol. No vex. I’m only trying to share my experience. I know a lot of people will find it helpful. I also found the previous threads helpful - so I decided to also add to the conversation.

Laghima:
Well,

Most women are hypergamous in nature which means: they naturally gravitate towards a male better than 'em(all round or in whatever they deem necessary), and this makes sense because they need to ensure they give birth to solid kids who can fight and win over the world and eventually protect 'em when they're old and too weak to fight - this might be on a subconscious level though.

More so, the guys they set for themselves are usually high value males and just like everything of high value in this world, are a scarce commodity.

The thing is: most people go to the abroad to better their lives(male and female included), therefore our males would want to wed a woman who can foster their life and career prospect while our females would also want to do same, but a woman only gets more unlucky with love and the opposite sex with more turn-downs unlike a man due to...(reason in my last paragraph).

The only thing that stands as a favour to men and detriment to women is age. Men age like wine while women age like milk. The older a man gets, the more his chances of becoming more successful due to his many trials and errors in life and also due to his life experiences and the more successful a man is(regardless of age) the more his chances and prospects with women while, the older a woman gets the lower her chances with men(with the exception of gigolo's who are the male version of prostitutes).

Amalekki:
Much ado about nothing.

One point that I find interesting about us is the way we complain about the attitude of Nigerians abroad. This is just a reminder that shoe get different sizes. You live in Lagos, Abuja, Port Harcourt, Enugu, Ibadan etc dey show people from your remote village pepper say you be city man or woman with serious oppression but when you enter the foreign end you start preaching. You get back to Nigeria after 4 weeks vacation and you won't let people hear word with coded oppressive attitude about your better exposure

HeavenlyCherub:
Honestly I think you have good points in your paragraphs. I agree that as women we shouldn’t single out every man who isn’t walking in their purpose at that given time. However I would never advise anyone to settle.

Some of the financially challenged/student men who come to the US, a very large percentage have taken advantage of good women all in the name of love. I can only use myself as an example. I have dated guys who weren’t stable financially so I can only try help my fellow sisters.


Man 1: Yoruba guy - I dated him for 5 years. Great guy however refused to self improve. He did yahoo. I found out about it and tried to make him stop and do legit as I wouldn’t want our foundation built on potential blood money. He refused a legit job and informed me he knew “the life he wanted for himself and 9 to 5 was not it.” This is because he was consumed by lifestyle and driving range rovers and a Porsche’s. I stuck with him for love but I refused to marry him or his proposal as he didn’t believe in taking care of a woman. He was very selfish (during the course of a 5 year relationship this man never gave me any assistance for upkeep - mind you I didn’t need his money as I do very well for myself but every woman wants their man to be able to support and provide in small ways. This shows me you’re stable and can support our family should we hit hard times. He would always ask me why I need money and what I do with the money I earn. $10 to buy a panty he could not even do, but he stayed embellished in Gucci, LV and Prada. He also had a baby on me and begged me to raise the child with him if it was his after dna...I was scared toput myself in that position as a time when I have to depend on him will come and he would not man up as he should so I broke it off. He proposed I said no. . No way I can submit to a man like that?..

Man 2: was an international student, the devil himself in human form, they say respect them, support them and let them reach goals.. this guy I supported financially for months, paved a way for him to get his paperwork.. loved and supported. He was nice at first but when we started dating he started changing. Abusing me for not giving 5k usd and not wanting to marry him for green card... I thank God for protecting me from that one chance. He is the biggest regret and bad mistake I ever made in my life. So disheartening you support someone and they physically, verbally abuse you and blame you for the wrong going on in their life... read my story on my profile from 2 years ago for more context Note: I myself am not perfect and I’m constantly working on self improving and strengthening my bond with Christ. I’m big on giving advice to others so they won’t repeat the same mistakes I have made.

My aunt always told me never to date down. Never settle and I did. All the women waiting...wait for Gods time don’t force or rush things because you want to get married. You will end up with someone who puts baggage on you and breaks you emotionally, physically, financially etc. Let Go and Let God. If it’s his will for your life it will be. Don’t leave worse off then you started.

I also have a friend she married someone coming straight from naija. They lived as man and wife 3 years. He got his green card and went back to Nigeria to marry his real girlfriend.

I truly dislike when men put down women like this post. Marriage is not an accomplishment. It will be nice to find a compatible companion but sister- you are enough as you are. Don’t let anyone rush you. Some are happy but many more want to get out of the marriage you are rushing to. Be wise and Let God lead.

Pray for God to give you discernment. Marriage is life and that’s a long journey. Don’t end up with the wrong person because of societal pressure and advice from OP above. I have said my own

safarigirl:
Funny how most of the points here, are also reflected in the Nigerian society in Nigeria

I can't wait to go abroad and be avoided by all the Nigerians. I think I've had enough of them, even from here

Gerrard59:
Pansophist: Don't tell me you created a different account?

anonymous1759:
I don't support that kitchen aspect. We can't do the cooking 50/50. I can support but it's not my responsibility to cook as a man . I stand with my African culture.