₦airaland Forum

There's a difference between polite words like mum, what you are doing is wrong with "straight face" and screaming at your mother. Try and understand the differences in future.

The good book says honour your dad and mum so that....Just complete the quotation. If u don't know it, just Google it. I don't care about the religion that u practice... it's meant for everyone.

As for the girl.. give her the assurance that you are there for her and that u will always be. That if she got any questions, she should ask you. That she is your younger sister and that's how she will remain... Also let her know that she's beautiful the way she is try your best to make it belivable.. but whenever you want to do some exercise, try and include her. Let her do what kids can do even if it's jumping ropes.

As for the last born in your family, call him aside, let him know that the situation the young girl is going through now, she didn't ask for it but it happened to her.. that he too can't predict what might happen tomorrow. I believe he's old enough to understand that..

I wish you a very wonderful wife in future buddy.. u got me emotional..I can't stand where such things were done..

aeion:
You absolutely did the right thing to caution your mom. Her physical, verbal and emotional abuse of the girl will do a number to the girl's self-esteem/mental health if she doesn't stop. Please continue to stand up for the girl!

I don't understand how anyone can hate a child! It takes a cold-hearted, evil person to treat a child like this.

most naija women RE like that,,I don see them taya,,any body wey em mama dey alive should thank God,,,to go live any body wey no be ur mama ehn,,, ur body go hear am

It is well...I just get so weak these days when I hear some sad stories.

Richy4:
There's a difference between polite words like mum, what you are doing is wrong with "straight face" and screaming at your mother. Try and understand the differences in future.


As for the girl.. give her the assurance that you are there for her and that u will always be. That if she got any questions, she should ask you. That she is your younger sister and that's how she will remain... Also let her know that she's beautiful the way she is try your best to make it belivable.. but whenever you want to do some exercise, try and include her. Let her do what kids can do even if it's jumping ropes.

As for the last born in your family, call him aside, let him know that the situation the young girl is going through now, she didn't ask for it but it happened to her.. that he too can't predict what might happen tomorrow. I believe he's old enough to understand that..
..

In addition, reduce her sugar intake. Exercise shouldn't make her cry if it is moderate and gentle. And fun.

I'm not one for boarding school but it will help in this situation. Do keep in touch with her and continue to talk to your mum and brother about treating your sister right.

She's a child now but will grow up. You must ensure that she has good memories of life in your home so she doesn't walk away and refuse to have anything to do with your family when she gets her opportunity.

She is blessed. She has someone to speak up for her.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister(her father is late), she's just 10years of age and i really don't like my moms attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom has has many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which i really cant give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty(younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.
She started living with us june last year and i noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home, was thinking its was because we were very nice to her that's why not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home. Several occasions ive seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would made my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her. the saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today i lost my cool and reacted and truth is i'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother(we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always return home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug, my mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.
Out of annoyance i got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that its becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. Im honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but im no longer keeping my calm, there was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persist.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother whos taking after my mom
3, me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but ill love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it..

No matter how bad the place her mother is living, other parents lives there with their children and they are still living and training their children at that same bad place

Your dad will help by taking that child back to her mum and still play the role of adopted father

Your dad can look for accommodation and relocate her sister so that she will go and meet the mum and get her something doing if she has nothing doing

At secondary level, your dad can send her to boarding home school and that will help the whole family, but these involves money

I don't want to talk about your mother, she is just being jealous to a child that could be an angel to the family, leave her to her conscience

Mama na Mama forget the behavior you don't like and move on. She is not your mate

[color=#] 2544988[/color]

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

You did well..

I dont

start dealing with your mother now before she gets used to it...always cover up for the gal no matter what when your mother starts all those kinda talks and try shutting her up before it gets worst

hoygift:
Mama na Mama forget the behavior you don't like and move on. She is not your mate

mummy's boy talking...na your type ur mama de choose wife for

Your only mistake is cautioning your mum in the presense of the little girl, you disrespect her

Disown her

Family matters

Davash222:
To caution your mom is not disrespect. She's your mom doesn't mean she can't be cautioned. Don't feel guilty about that.

.

U this guy, after bashing women non stop, one would think u amount to something.

Surprised seeing u desperately begging for crumbs at poco's giveaway.

You varnished into thin air afterwards to salvage what's left of ur bruised ego, only to resurface later thinking the heat has died down.

Omó alé.!!
Pitiable crumbie.

Cc; pocohantas

Some women are just too evil. Many women maltreat kids from their husband's family. Witnessed it alot growing up. Evil creatures

Most women are naturally like that.

There's nothing you can do to absolutely stop it.

Funny thing is, if this your dear little sister adopts in the future, she'll most likely treat the child like (or worse than) she's been treated.



It's in their biology.

Just the way the caring mother hen dangerously peck any chick that doesn't belong to her.

Reason with your younger brother, he'll change!

o.p is a good man. And am proud of you.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

don't feel bad of cautioning your mum, in fact, children are the best people to caution their parents because wise parents take their counsel seriously.


But I want to suggest something different, do it and watch your mum change her ways of maltreating the girl.


Call your mom aside one day when there is no quarel or fight or tensed environment. Tell her mom I want to talk to you in private.

Tell her that you had a dream, in that dream, someone you don't know took you around and showed you lots of sick and dead people, and then told you that anybody can be like those people anytime any day without prior sickness or warning. That the person then warned you that you should talk to your mother to stop maltreating any child around her to avoid attracting negative spirit to her own children and even her own life. And that you wake up.


Tell her that mom, what if something happens to you or dad tomorrow, have you ever thought of what our future will be How others will treat us Tell her that mom, it doesn't take you anything to love this little girl like we your children, its just a matter of determination to love her despite any fault she may have. Remember, she didn't create herself, she didn't chose to be a child that lost her dad at tender age, nature chose all these for her, mummy pity this girl.


Stop there. Try this and observe your moms attitude towards her will change automatically.


I forgot to tell you that I am so proud of you. Keep it up. This is why men remain the pillar all over the world, and no matter how much feminists fight to become equal to men or have equal opportunities with men, they can never be close to what men are anywhere in the world because most men are compassionate in nature, not just to their bloods, but to all.

I'm proud of You bro.

Just keep talking to Your mum bout her behavior towards d lill girl .

Parents need advices too some times.

majamajic:
It's normal if a woman treats another woman's children a different way from hers, cos maybe she was not in support of the adoption .

There's nothing u can do here , than continue the love and accommodate the girl , as time goes on everything will be ok

Just keep up the good work , things will be perfect as time goes on , thank God she is a girl

Are you ok

Manage and correct her, she is still your mother.

I browsed read Ur story. But l strongly feel Ur mum wl never change and treat that kid in a good way except something drastic happen or something fearful makes Ur mum change. I know that once woman hate you, mehn! It takes grace for them to like you back. So forget your mum changing.
First, secretly talk to d girl to always endure, encourage her that you and Ur dad is happy she's living with you and she shd hold dt instead of holding d way Ur mum treats her.
Secondly, talk to Ur brother that's misbehaving to stop. Let him see reasons why his action is bad.
They say change wat u can change and leave wat u cannot change.

just talk to ur mum heart to heart

sisisioge:
It is well...I just get so weak these days when I hear some sad stories.

sometimes I wonder if the all good sounding ladies we have on Nairaland are different from all the evil, wicked women we have all over Nigerian homes, abi una de turn good women only online ni

Your mum has every reason to love the little girl. For crying out loud she's a daughter figure since your mum doesn't have a girl child. Unfortunately, at this rate, I don't see your mum changing especially as the girl grows older. Best bet: send her to another relative where she'll be accepted. The little girl shouldn't grow up with so much acrimony around her.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

You have a very good heart. Unfortunately, a good heart is not enough.

My suggestion: tell the girl that you love her. Tell her that her mother is a good person and treated you well. Tell the family no more exercises. Talk to your brothers. Tell your mother that you do not want to be cursed because of her actions towards an orphan.

Most women naturally maltreat other people's children. It's just their nature and this is bad.

Don't be angry with your mom
Ask her why she's treating the little girl in that manner. Hear her out first.
We human beings have ego and pride. And we always want to feel important.
Just make her understand one thing which is; what if you are in position of that little girl and you are being treated the way your mother is doing now, will she be happy? Will she pray that her children should be treated the way she's treating that little girl?
Ask her..
Don't make mistake by condemning or judging her, that will worsen the situation.
I bet it with you, if she can allow the love of that little to fill her heart, she will have peace of mind. And great things will follow.
I pray you find this helpful.

Dganji:
More than ever am not happy with my mom.

I have this younger sister who was adopted by my dad from his younger sister (her father is late), she's just 10 years of age and I really don't like my mom's attitude towards that little girl. In the past when i was much younger, my mom had many quarrels with the mother of my adopted sister which I really can't give accurate count on who's right or wrong, but for the record my aunty (younger sis mom) is very troublesome no doubt.

She started living with us June last year and I noticed she's always very happy when me or my dad comes home. I was thinking it was because we were very nice to her, not knowing the kind of pressure she was going through at home.

Several occasions I have seen my mom saying too many harsh words to that little girl which I am not comfortable with but I've had to keep my calm. I feel reacting would make my mom hate her more as she might feel the little girl has turned her children against her.

The saddest part of it is that our last born who's 15 years is taking the same part with my mom in frustrating that little girl. Today Ilost my cool and reacted and truth is I'm not willing to continue keeping calm again.

My immediate younger brother (we are 3 boys and no girl) decided to start taking this my little sister out for jugging cos she's too fat. She always returns home crying cos of the pressure they put on her to jug. My mom on hearing her cry today came out and started beating her and saying hatefull words to her, including insulting her mom, calling her mom names which honestly would get any child angry if they are told same about their parent.

Out of annoyance I got up and shouted at my mom to leave her alone that it's becoming too bad for her as a mother to treath children like that. Instantly my mom kept calm and guilt was written all over her face. I'm honestly not happy about disrespecting my mom but I'm no longer keeping my calm.

There was a time when my dad had to take similar action against my mom and it didnt go well for anybody, the little girl suffered more hate from my mom and my dad wasnt really happy with my mom that period.

Returning that little girl back to her mom is never an option as the environment where her mom is very negative and would no doubt worsen her situation.

Talking to my mom calmy about it has been done by me and my immediate younger brother but problem still persists.

My worries are.
1, the little girl
2, my youngest brother who is taking after my mom
3 me disrespecting my mom.

Nairalanders your advice would be appreciated on this situation. I already have what to do in mind already but I will love to hear from those who have experienced similar situation and how best to handle it.

People tend to use left over energies on the wrong things

hoygift:
Mama na Mama forget the behavior you don't like and move on. She is not your mate

Mummy's boy. I guess your mother breast milk still dey hungry you.

And as somebody already said up there, she go choose wife for You.

Woman wrapper
#Tufiakwa